This is written for SpyFest 2018

Disclaimer: I do not own the series of Alex Rider nor any characters you may recognize. Obviously. I'm writing on Fanfiction dot net. Also, this Alex is kind of OC.

An: I know this is not the best, but I haven't taken that much time on it. It's just to help get my finger muscles warmed up for my original story, and because I really just like Alex Rider.


Alex grinned up at his interrogator, sporting a bloody lip. To be honest, this was the most fun he has had in quite a long time. From the look on the other man's face, it was probably true for him too. Not that he was going to ask, of course. The man looked quite busy at the moment.

The man was pacing back in forth agitatedly, whip in hand. Alex adjusted his wrists which were tied behind his chair as the man came to a stop before him.

"I'm asking one simple question. That's it. Do. You. Work. For. MI6?" he said, moving his hand up and down in time to his periods. It was quite cliché, if you asked him.

Alex sighed mockingly none the less, leaning forward, hands as separated as they could get. "I already told you. It's complicated."

In a blink of an eye, the whip slashed downward, leaving yet another trail of blood on Alex's sternum. Alex grinned in spite of the pain the new cut brought. "What? I answered your question. I don't get what you're so upset with."

It was dead silent for a moment except for the occasionally drip drip of blood as it fell onto the pristine floor.

Suddenly, his interrogator pulled him forward, his face just a few inches from Alex's. "You did not answer my question correctly. It is a yes or no answer, not your smart little comments you find so cute." Alex shrugged at that before looking into the man's deadly serious eyes and resisted breathing in his breath. Honestly, if Alex had a mint, he would be offering it to him right now. That and a lesson on how to interrogate people properly. "Now answer the question, or next time it will be way worse than a little cut."

Alex pouted at that. "I thought you already knew the answer," he said.

The man rolled his eyes. "I do, but I want it to come out of your dang mouth before the… fun starts."

Alex brightened at that. He could use some more fun. He didn't know how fun it would be for the man, though, he thought as he stretched his shoulders and moved his fingers ever so slightly.

"Well, in that case, yes."

The man grinned slightly and leaned back on his heels. "See that wasn't too h-"

"Actually, now that I think about it, it may be a no… and a yes," Alex interrupted. He made sure to put on his best thinking face.

The man froze, his hand frozen in his jet black hair as he gazed incredulously at Alex.

Alex's head whipped back as the man punched him, breaking his nose in the process. Blood ran down, covering his mouth and his neck. Now it wasn't that much fun. That man sure knew how to ruin a party, Alex thought, groaning and licking his mouth before grimacing.

"Ouch," Alex muttered, glaring darkly at the man. "Can we just speed this party up? It's kind of dragging on."

The man, in turn, didn't say a word, just stepped back before laying the whip on a table in the corner of the room. Alex pulled at the rope as the man picked up the camera beside, switching a button and turning it on.

"A goodbye, for your employers, of course," the man said, looking over his shoulder.

Alex shrugged. "Of course."

The man put the camera on a tripod. "I'll take this with me into the room next door, which is blastproof, just so you know. Wouldn't want to miss anything."

"That would be terrible," Alex agreed sarcastically.

The man huffed. "Make all the sarcastic comments you want, Rider. It'll be me who's laughing in the end."

This time, the man turned around with a device that had straps on it. It looked suspiciously like a bomb, or maybe it was just a really expensive piñata. You never knew these days.

Regardless of which one it was, Alex stood up, letting the rope fall to the ground. He stretched, ignoring the pain as he stretched the bloody wounds on his stomach. The man gaped, stopping in his tracks as he stared at his free prisoner.

Alex sighed. "I apologize for leaving so early. This party was getting out of hand. Didn't feel like dying today."

The man stuttered, dropping the bomb. Alex winced a little as it clanged to the concrete ground.

He answered the man's unspoken question. "It called Self-Preservation: The First Law of Intelligence. Did Scorpia give you the pamphlet and, you decided not to read it, or did they think it useless to waste ink on your worthless self because you were going to get yourself killed anyway?"

The man's cheeks reddened in a mix of anger and embarrassment. "Why did you sit there the whole time if you care about self preservation so much, you-"

"Ah, ah, ah, none of that," Alex tisked, moving a finger back and forth. "That's not a very nice word to use in front of a juvenile, you know." With that, he struck his leg out, hitting the man, full force, hitting him square in the chest. Alex walked forward, leaning over the fallen man. "I never said I was perfect. I have some flaws, according to the book," he admitted before striking again, hitting the man's temple this time, knocking him out.

Alex gazed at the weapon beside him. He thought for a moment before setting the timer to five minutes. He patted the man gentle on the check, then ran over to the unlocked door, pulling it open. He took one more look behind him, calling out: "You really should read it, if you get the time!" Then he took off, sprinting towards freedom. "Or if you wake up," he muttered as an afterthought, taking off towards the forest. He would definitely have to tell Jones about his fun little adventure. Maybe he could write a book on it. He could even mail a copy to Scorpia.

Alex sighed in contentment. Oh, what fun.