I hate autumn despite being born in this season I still don't like it. Maybe that's why all this angst feelings are surfacing. Either way here's a little something. Since I've got a lot of tests before Christmas I haven't really taken the time to write.
Enjoy!
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Disclaimer: Don't own the characters.
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It is now evening in Fuuka. The sun has begun to set and most people are hurrying back home to their loved ones through the heavy traffic. But if you have a moment to spare and gaze upon the cliff you can see a figure still lingering there since this morning, the morning before that and every other morning since a year back. Always standing there and staring towards the horizon, never leaves until a certain time. It makes one wonder, looking into it further, how come a beautiful women like her is wasting away her youth by visiting this cliff every single day. There must be a particular reason, because there is. In her hand she is clutching a wrinkled letter, being as she reads it every day, so she carries it around wherever she goes and it never once has left her possession. Her eyes give away a cold and determined outside but in truth she is simply trying to hold here sorrow inside, along with her pain.
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"My beloved Natsuki,
As this letter has reached you I assume that you have been informed that you longer are allowed permission visiting me in the hospital. Please do not be angry with my parents or your friends for they are not at fault on this decision, I am. We both are fully aware of what is happening to me. This disease is slowly deteriorating me. It warms my heart that despite this solid truth you still wish to stay beside me. Even though it causes you much trouble and steals very much of your time and energy you still remain strong alongside me. But being who I am I cannot help but notice those tired features beneath your strong smile and the constant checking of your watch, you must have something more important which requires your attention. As selfish I have been in the past when it is concerning your health or safety I always prioritize it as my highest, as do I now. You have recently been promoted, so I have heard from Mai-san but never have I heard a word from you. I do however understand the reason you have kept it from me and I am upset with myself for being at my worst while you are at your peak thus creating more inconveniences for you. I would never want to be the reason you endanger your career for. Because of your mother's sudden death you have stopped living for so long and I cannot bear to see the same thing happen once more, not now while you have started moving forward.
Of what I have understood my doctor has in detail described my condition to you, of what may happen in the future. It worries me that in the future I will have lack of control over my own body, such trivial matters as eating and talking will almost be an impossibility. Even walking, which comes naturally will become a challenge, with no further hope of improving. My body will slowly shut down and neither therapy nor operation can make it better, not with today's science and technology. There is a glimmer of hope for the future however if I can last that long is still the main question. This all merely frightens me. What terrifies me is if you, my love, will see me slowly change from the woman you have chosen to an invalid with no bigger difference than an infant. Despite that my body breaks down my mind will still remain the same and I will still deep inside be the person you have always known. I could never live past your depressing eyes watching over me while I lie there powerless. I recognize the difficulty in my request as it being unfair to you but I wish for your understanding and help. Please do not visit me anymore. As I wither away like the flowers in the garden. The image in which I wish that you carry on of me is the one where I stand strong beside you, unwavering and tough yet gentle and caring. Will you grant me my very last wish?
Yours forever,
Shizuru"
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The grip on the letter tightens in the remembrance of the content. She already knew every word by heart and yet still it hurt as much each time. She would never deny her love anything within her power. She was just not sure if she had the will to accomplish this last request. It was true that it had caused her to reschedule many of her meetings and many late nights to manage her deadlines but it had never bothered. Natsuki did not regret sacrificing a few hours of sleep. But she knew what pain it must cause the older and proud woman. Being a burden to someone else is painful, so very painful. Despite the understanding Natsuki still wish that Shizuru would be able to see past the pain however Natsuki realizes how selfish that request is. How many times have Shizuru not seen past many things to lighten it for her? Why is she so powerless whenever it comes to protecting the one she loves? Why?
In frustration Natsuki roughly hit the steel barrier, its purpose being preventing people from falling off this high cliff but now it will do as a punching bag. The metal gives off a deep ringing sound from the hit. The ringing sets of another fits of several punches. The knuckles are bruised because against metal Natsuki's hands are no match, there is nothing she can do. Why must it always come down to this? Is this the limit of her capacity? She cannot save Shizuru and now she is forced to stay away from the pain and anguish Shizuru must be experiencing. Life was certainly not being fair.
All along since the first time Natsuki had read the heart wrecking letter from her love, comparing with a withering flower, Natsuki had immediately attempted into barging inside the hospital. She had not succeeded into breaking into Shizuru's room at all. Violence, screaming and many tears later she was still dismissed and refused consent. Depressed and frustrated she found herself in the flower garden of Fuuka. This garden held many special memories perhaps this is the reason why she somehow ended here tonight. Endless strolling and her feat had automatically taken her back, right to the start. Natsuki found herself picking up a flower, estimated closest to the spot where she once tried to kill one, when Shizuru had intervened as always. For some reason she brought the flower home. Every day she would find herself carefully and tenderly care for it. Giving it enough water and make sure that it stayed at its best.
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2 years 124 days later when Natsuki went to the cliff, as part of her daily routine, there was a powerful gust of wind. Natsuki's heart skipped a beat and her entire body suddenly turned ice cold. Quickly rushing home and slamming the door open she rushes towards the flower, freezing at the sight of the plant. Her body becomes limb and tears are starting to form. She staggers forward and reaches out to touch the dead flower. It looked healthy just this morning; there was nothing wrong with it. A scream of sorrow and fury echoed through the city.
In the short lifespan of a flower they do their utmost to bloom and perhaps there will be someone who will still remember its shining beauty.
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Review and let me know what you think, okay?