Three weeks after the banishment-

Belle

It took less than a day for everyone in town to find out what I did. No one came and talked to me personally about what happened except for Henry. In fact it seemed like everyone was just content on forgetting that he ever existed. It made my blood boil but I didn't have any right to get mad or upset. After all I was the one who sent him over the line. I was the one who pushed him into a horrible, lonely world.

The heaviness in my heart would not go away no matter what I did. I told Henry I would help him find out who the author is by looking in the shop for something that could help him but honestly I was just grasping at straws. The only reason I even offered was so I could be close to Henry, he was the last piece of Rumple I would ever have. And when I looked at him I would sometimes see his some of his grandfather shining through or maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to. Like I did with Rumple.

"Hey Belle. You doing okay?" I blinked a few times and saw Emma had at some point entered the library. I quickly put on a brave smile and went back to placing books back on the shelves.

"Yes. Why do you ask?" I asked, my voice sounded so fake in my head I hoped that she wouldn't see through it. Glancing over at her I saw that she didn't buy it for a second but I kept the smile on my face hoping she wouldn't push the issue.

"Henry's worried about you." I stopped in my tracks and looked at her. "He said that you haven't been acting like yourself and to be honest I can see why he's concerned. Have you gotten any sleep recently?"

'Of course I haven't. Every single time I close my eyes all I see is Rumple crying and begging me to forgive him.' I thought bitterly but I kept smiling none the less.

"Don't worry about me Emma, you have enough on your plate and you don't need my troubles on there as well." She didn't seemed convinced but she nodded.

"Okay. Well I'll see you around." She said with a slight smile. "Oh and just so you know. I know you did what had to be done. I'm just sorry you had to be the one to do."

I felt something in me break at her words, anger rushed through me. Without thinking I violently pushed the cart of books in front of me to the ground but I didn't stop there. I picked up a few random books and threw them into the back wall, I didn't know if any of them hit but I kept going until I was completely out of breath and I collapsed to the ground. Tears were streaming down my face but I didn't have the energy to stop them. I didn't want to stop them.

In the empty library all I could hear was my sobbing and it made the heaviness in my heart worse then what it already was. It almost felt like I could drown in my sadness and some part of me wanted to so the pain would go away. I don't know how long I sat on the library floor but the next thing I knew I heard someone yelling my name.

"Belle! Oh my God! Are you okay?" I looked up through my curtain of hair and saw it was Archie. I knew I probably looked a sight but I didn't care anymore. For three bloody weeks I have been acting like I was okay but I was done with that.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" I heard myself whisper, my voice sounded raw from all my crying. "My husband…my true love is gone and I was the one who sent him away and yet people keep asking me if I'm okay. Do they really expect me to be?"

"Belle?" Archie asked soothingly, almost like he was talking to a scared animal or something. Finally I looked up at him. My lips were trembling and my eyes were probably blood shot but I needed someone to listen.

"I feel broken… I know I deserve to feel this way. I was the one who made him l-leave…" Once again I was crying. Archie sat down beside me and we sat in silence except for my light sobbing.

"Why did you send him away?" He asked quietly when I stopped crying. I looked over at him and saw he was actually wanting to know. Taking a deep breathe I rubbing the heel of hands to my eyes and laughed hollowly.

"Because….at the time I was angry. I wasn't thinking straight. I felt betrayed and hurt that he would lie to me. And I think the curse was taking over his human self, like he was losing himself to the power." I explained.

"Well it sounds like to me that you sent him away for his own good."

"I don't think I did though Archie."

"Then... tell me the real reason Belle. Don't tell me what a hero would say. Tell me what you want to say as a human being. As a wife that was hurt." I looked over at my friend and saw his kind eyes were locked on my face, waiting patiently waiting for me to speak.

"What do you do want to hear? That I knew the moment I let him go I knew it was a mistake. That I should have listened to him instead of acting all high and mighty like I was better than him." I tore my eyes away from his and pulled my knees to my chest, wanting to disappear.

"The real reason I sent him over…it wasn't for him at all. It was for me. My heart was broken and being the spoiled little brat that I am I didn't want to hear his side of the story. I just wanted him to go away so I wouldn't have to deal with my own feelings. I thought….that if he went away so would this breaking heart but I only made it worse..." I whispered. For a few minutes neither of us said anything.

"When I was little…my parents taught me all the tricks in the book on how to pick pocket." Archie told me breaking the silence. "I hated to do it. Because I knew it was wrong but at the same time they were my parents and I wanted them to love me so I continued to do as they asked." I sat up and glanced over at him. His eyes were glazed over and was staring intensely at the book shelf in front of us.

"I kept doing it until I couldn't anymore. That's when I turned to Rumpelstiltskin." My head perked up from hearing his name. "He gave me this potion, he didn't tell me what it would do except that it would set me free. Well let's just say it back fired. My parents tricked me into to giving it to these two innocent people, it turned them into puppets. And those people had a little boy he was now an orphan and it was all my fault."

"Archie don't say that. You didn't know what that potion would do. You were only doing what you thought you had to do."

"Thank you for your kind words Belle but I know it was my fault. But thankfully Blue helped me find my way. I asked to be turned into a grasshopper and I dedicated my life to helping that little boy."

"Who was the little boy?" A small smile came to Archie's face.

"Geppetto." I looked at him for a few seconds in shock.

"The reason I told you this Belle is because I did a horrible thing to that I thought was unforgiveable but I found a way to redeem myself if just a little bit. And I think you can do the same." Archie smiled at me softly.

"I did tell Henry I would help him find out who the author is."

"There you go. That's a great place to start. Now what do you say that I help you clean up this mess?" He asked kindly. I smiled and nodded. We both worked in a comfortable silence. But I could not help but wonder how Rumple was doing. Even though I had no right to worry about him anymore I just couldn't help myself.

Rumple

Numb. That's the only way to describe what I was feeling. I never thought that Belle would ever turn away from me but here I am, sitting in a bus station in some town trying to figure out what to do next. I didn't have the strength to do anything except breathe and even that was becoming a chore.

I kept thinking back to that night. Her eyes held so much pain I wanted nothing more than to hold her close but she shunned away from my touch when I reached out to her. I never thought I would see the day that she would treat me like a beast. It felt like she pierced my heart with my own dagger.

Nameless people kept walking by me but all I saw of them was their shoes because I was too much of a coward to look this world in the face. After a while I did look up and saw that the bus station was once again empty with the exception of myself. Gripping the cheap plastic cane I bought a few towns back I stood up and walked over the bus schedules.

Even though I didn't want to I knew that I had to keep moving. And the first place I had to go was New York City. Which apparently I would have to take several different buses to get there but I had to get there. The sooner I did the sooner I would get back into Storybrooke. I was never more thankful that I kept my wallet on me and I had over five hundred dollars in it.

I purchased a ticket and waited for my bus. The numbness would not leave me, no matter how much I tried. At first I thought it was because I no longer had magic coursing through me but I was only lying to myself. This feeling was from a broken heart and there was no healing that even with magic.

Why didn't she see that everything I was doing was for us? With the pirate gone I would no longer have to worry about him hurting Belle ever again. And if my plan had worked and I was no longer connected to the dagger I would still have my magic to protect her if need be and no one could ever control me ever again. But she didn't see any of that. She only saw what she wanted to see. My poor brave, sweet, naïve Belle had been brain washed by want to be heroes.

Finally my bus pulled in and I was one step closer to getting Belle back. If I wanted her back to the person she was I would have to make sure my plan worked no matter what. Even with my heart broken my mind was still working and plotting faster than ever. I already knew I had to get my three underlings, which would be the easy part. Second I would find the author so he can rewrite Belle's and my story, not as simple. Third I had to make sure no one got in my way. It was the only way to get back to Belle and if a few people have to die I am willing to do just that.

I hope everyone liked the first chapter. And I know there wasn't much of Rumple in this chapter but don't worry it gets better! This is connected to my one-shot Belle's ray of hope but you don't have to read it to get this story. Thank you for reading! Oh and I don't own Once Upon A Time. Reviews are always welcomed :)