Trust
A/N: I'm so sorry, I just need more Haruka/Zero in my life! Q mQ);;
Warning: Un-beta'ed, OOC, Grammar mistakes
Edit: Fixed some things in this chapter that can be considered important enough for you guys to understand what's going on. If you don't want to reread everything all over again, look out for '—' symbols to shows the start and end of the edit. More info at the end of chapter.
"I always say that I trust you but sometimes I can't help but to not trust myself for trusting you."
The brunette that's been occupying the Queen sized bed let out a small groan as he roll on the bed, hand groping around the empty space beside him in search for his beloved. Sleepy eyes finally open before blinking a few times to finally revealed a pair of dark chocolate orbs, staring at the cold messy side of the bed that usually occupy an Angel with silky silver hair and twinkling amethyst orbs who is actually his- ah- wife. Those orbs moves upwards to lay upon the neon coloured numbers of the alarm clock on the bedside table. 11:14 a.m. I've slept through breakfast, huh? Thank goodness today is my off day.
"Zero...?" He called sleepily as he finally raise from his laying position, the previous white coloured blanket that covered his upper body crumpled down on his lap to reveal his broad naked shoulder and toned abs. The man raise his arms upwards in a stretch, trying to awaken his stiff muscle before finally getting himself off of the bed, bending down to retrieve the discarded black cotton pants at the foot of the bed and wears them. Afterwards, he walk himself outside of the room, chuckling at the mess of scattered clothes on the floor of the hallway as he make his way towards the kitchen, following the delicious smell that leads him there.
The scenery that greets him almost makes him lost his breath, there near the stove is his beautiful Angel, body covered with a white shirt too big and loose for his body- which is obviously not the silverette's own shirt and God, he's not wearing any pants too– while humming a tune that sounded awkward to any other people's ears- but not his husband, never his husband - as he stir the food currently cooking inside the pot, bare foot tapping on the floor as he lightly sway his hips in rhythm with the song currently playing on the radio that's been placed on the floor of the kitchen. The soft ray of sunlight coming from the opened window of the kitchen sink highlighted the colour of the silverette's hair, making him look like as if he's glowing with ethereal beauty.
A small smile grace the face of the brunette as he watch the other with affection and deep love showing in his dark coloured eyes. He eyed the unsuspecting figure a few more seconds longer before finally advancing himself forward- those hips will be the death of him. He placed his hands slowly upon the silverette's hips in order not to startle him with his own appearance. Hands move in circular motion upon the covered skin before finally hugging the lithe waist, pressing himself on the back of the other man as he place kisses after kisses upon the pale skin that's littered with red coloured hickies, a glaring evidence of their previous night activities. Their hips swaying together to an imaginary rhythm of their own, the song playing in the radio are like a background sound to them- to the brunette -as they bask on each other's presence and warmth.
"Uhm... Hawuka..." The silver haired man let out a moan as his husband suck a new hickey on his pale neck, the sound he let out sounding almost too high-pitched and slurred to be owned by such a full awakened man, the food on the stove are long forgotten. Haruka hummed in acknowledgement before raising a hand of his to make a circular motion on the shorter man's chest with his palm before pulling it downwards in a straight line to his stomach. A hand sign to tell the other that he's happy.
The silverette named Zero finally turned himself around to properly face the other, hands resting upon that strong chest as he look up at the older man with love and admiration playing in his beautiful coloured pools. He leans himself forward, tip-toeing on his toes to place a small kiss upon the other's soft lips. This earned him a chuckle from the brunette, such gesture can be told from how the naked chest under his palms is vibrating along with the obvious wide grin now gracing the other's handsome face.
—
Haruka place a butterfly kiss upon his beloved's silver tresses as he raise a hand to carefully push the side bang, being mindful of the delicate wire on the side of his beloved's head to revealed a pale ear with a grey coloured hearing support¹ placed neatly behind it. The elder leans himself down to place a gentle kiss upon the said device, a gesture that he always do to show that Zero will always be beautiful in his eyes even if he's different from his husband.
—
Yes, his beloved is deaf but such small matter will never stop Haruka from seeing Zero's beauty both inside and outside.
"I love you," he mouthed those words slow enough for the other to read. A smile that grace the silverette's lips afterwards are too precious and beautiful. Something that the older pledge to never destroy and to protect with all his heart, body and soul.
"I love you too..." Zero mouthed back before resting his head upon the other's chest, eyes closing as he feel the soft beating of his husband's heart under his ear. He wish time will stopped so they can be stay this together forever.
Zero eyed the wall clock for the millionth time- 9:47 p.m. -usually his beloved will be back hours ago but today it seems like he's late that usual. A small sigh escape passed his cherry coloured lips as his hands busy playing with the picture frame in his hand. A smile grace his beautiful face as he inspect the picture for the nth time. The picture shows of them on their wedding day slash Zero's birthday, about 3 years ago. Those moments are fresh in the silverette's mind like it just happened yesterday. He can't believe their marriage last for such a long time, to him it's a miracle that their love is still strong until this day.
His thoughts are cut off as he feel a warm hand slowly make itself known on his cheek, he open his eyes to reveal amethyst coloured orbs- when did he even close them? -to look at those familiar deep brown pools that he loves so much. Haruka used his unoccupied hand to do a hand sign of 'I'm home' as his other hand still busy in caressing the silverette's pale cheek. Zero replies back to the gesture with a sign of 'Welcome back' as he finally stands up to give his husband a welcome hug and to take a whiff of his comforting scent.
But what greets him shocked Zero as what he smells on the collar of his husband's navy blue dress shirt isn't the scent of Haruka's usual cologne. This smell is too sweet and flowery than the brunette's favourite Hugo Boss cologne, this smell is usually befitted to that of a female. He tensed before forcing himself to calm down in order not to alert the other with his reaction. He closed his eyes tight as he took a deep breath, trying not to panic at what he found out. Zero need to think positively, maybe it's just one of Haruka's co-workers.
The silverette placed a light peck on the other's lips as he mentally nods to himself that, yes, must be one of Haruka's co-workers. He don't need to worry. Haruka will never thought of...of finding himself another person when he have Zero on his side.
But when they're finally laying down on the bed with the sleeping brunette's arms hugging his waist and the other's warmth can be felt on his back, such thoughts keep on playing in the silverette's mind before he finally force his eyes close to sleep.
Haruka wouldn't...right?
Since that day, Haruka keep on coming home late day by day and the same scent of the perfume that he can whiff out on the other's clothing are still there, getting stronger day by day as if it's mocking Zero. The silverette can't help but to drag his mind to a topic that he's been denying himself these passed weeks, the possibility on the fact that the elder might...
Might be cheating on him.
He try to tell himself that the brunette isn't that kind of person. That his husband is a kind and loyal person. He won't stoop down so low to do such disgraceful thing like cheating... Right? There's a first for everything, even for a kind person such as Haruka. Such revelation breaks Zero. No matter how hard he try to deny it all the evidences are there. The lateness of his husband to come home. The smell of the perfume on his clothes when he got home. All of it are a glaring evidence of cheating.
The silver haired man stare with such a forlorn expression to the unsuspecting sleeping man beside him. Watching those long lashes that hid those beautiful brown coloured orbs and on how the chocolate tresses gathered on the white surface of the pillow as he sleep on his side to face his wife, on how those soft lips parted slightly as he let out breaths after calming breaths that Zero sure the sound will be very beautiful no matter how much his husband will deny it.
He blinks out the tears that he didn't noticed have been gathering at the corner of his eyes, wetting his white coloured lashes as those tears make wet trails on his pale cheeks and finally disappears into the white fabric of his own pillow, leaving dark blotches on it's wake. A hand quickly covers his mouth, praying to God that he won't make any weird noises that's deaf to his ears and wakes his beloved. He doesn't want the other to see him like this and ask questions.
For now Zero still want to pretend that everything is alright, that the possibility of Haruka cheating on him never occurs, that they're happy. That the possibility of Haruka leaving him to go with that mysterious woman will never occur.
He hugs himself tight, holding himself back from embracing his husband because he knew, he knew doing that now will not comfort him but only breaking him further.
Today's the day of their 4th wedding anniversary, not to mention today is his birthday too. Glazed purple pools eyed the decorated table in front of him akin to that of a fancy restaurant's candlelit dinner for two with delicious food already served on each plate- Haruka's favourite -before eyeing the droplets of water on the metal bucket filled with now melting ice and a bottle of expensive wine- Haruka's favourite too – placed beside the table. Those orbs finally look up to look at the time showed by the clock wall, 10:01 p.m.
'Haruka's late again today,' the silverette thought to himself as he stand up to find his black mobile phone, checking for any messages or missing video calls from his husband for the reason of his lateness but there's none of it. He clutched the device in his hand tightly, eyes widening in fear as those thoughts hit him again in full force. He shakes his head. No, no, Zero decided to believe in it if he sees it with his own two eyes.
Finally deciding to try searching for his husband, he walk towards the front door, shrugging in a jacket before proceeding outside, door closed with a slam as the dancing flame of the candlelit blown out, making darkness befall upon the now empty house.
He started with his husband's work place, shock can be seen on his face when the other workers told him that his husband already gone home hours ago. Noted with such happy smile gracing his face. The silverette's too occupied in trying to video call his husband that he didn't realize that someone's been calling for his attention from behind before he finally grab on the silver haired man's shoulder, shocking him until he dropped his phone.
"Ah! I'm so sorry- I didn't mean to shock you!" The stranger quickly collects the said device before handing it back to the other man, his eyes and hair for some unknown reason reminded Zero of Haruka although it's a shade lighter from his husband's. The stranger seems to be talking to him again but the silver beauty isn't able to read his fast moving lips. He tilted his head in silent confusion as the other eyed him curiously before gesturing to his own ear and making a 'no' sign with his hand.
The other widens his eyes in understanding before taking out a notepad and a pen conveniently in his pocket and writing something on it before showing the content to the silverette. "Hello, I'm Kaname Cross! I see that you're in deep trouble, may I help you?" Zero eyed him suspiciously before deeming the other means no harm but to help. He gesture his hand towards the notepad, asking permission whether he can use them to write his answer. Receiving a nod as he answer he finally takes the offered notepad and pen to write down before showing it to the other.
"Hello, I'm Zero Kuran. Do you by any chance know my husband, Haruka Kuran?" The silverette can clearly see the other's eyes widens and he seem to panic slightly before finally schooling his face. Such gestures confuses Zero. He earned his answer to his question few seconds after as he sees the neat hand-writing on the white lined paper.
"Yes, I'm his colleague. Haruka already gone home hours ago. Isn't he home yet?" Thou the last sentence supposed to be an innocent question, Zero can't help but to feel hurt in his chest for not even knowing the current whereabouts of his husband. On where is he? Is he safe? Is he alright? Is he...with her? The silver beauty gives a quick bow of thank you before proceeding to leave the brunette alone and lead himself out of Haruka's workplace, trying his best to hide his tear stained face from the other.
Kaname can only watch the back of the silver haired man as he left him dumbfounded in the middle of the main entrance's hall. He let out a tired sigh before taking out his mobile phone to dialled a number.
"Haruka, it seems like we got company."
It's so silent.
—
The silver beauty should already got used to this since he's 12 years old when he refuses to accept the fact that he needed a hearing support just to hear the sounds where it can be easily heard by his classmates, but for some unknown reason this silence suffocates him. As he eyed the faces of other people, of their expression and trying to place those possible sounds they're making, trying to remember the static sounds he used to hear but it's too much for Zero. He closes his teary eyes to block away the view of those passers-by, in front of him, beside him and even behind him. Trying to calm his now suddenly fast breath, the silverette finally opens his eyes slowly.
—
But he can't help but to regret for opening them the moment what he sees in front of him seems to be the final thing that breaks his heart to pieces. That smile, the loving smile that he loves so much seems to be directed towards someone else that's not him but a woman. A woman that's now placing a shadowy silhouette that he sees standing beside Haruka in his nightmares. She's so beautiful, so perfect, something that Zero hate to admit but she looks like someone that's suited to be with Haruka, with those beautiful ling straight white hair that seems to shine under the dim light of the restaurant. And those beautiful coloured petal pinks eyes, so soft in colour, a beautiful contrast of the brunette's.
—
They seem to be talking animatedly with each other, mouth moves to shape words after words without moving their hands just to sign something that's playing in their mind just to talk with each other. As their lock eyes with each other instead of looking at each other's hands or mouth just to understand what's being talked about. The silverette can't help but to compare that scene with the time when he's trying to have a proper conversation with Haruka, having to ended up using sign language when the brunette seem to have difficulty in understanding his slurred words. How much he regret for locking himself in silence² all those years before he met Haruka, how he refused to even trying to learn to speak or listen to sounds when he's given the second chance to be a normal person. Because he's so scared- No matter how many times he tried, he can never be like the others.
—
The pain that Zero can feel earlier come back in vengeance, making him having the difficulty to breath in the much needed air into his suffocating lungs.
Why Zero never thought of this before? No matter how beautiful he is in Haruka's eyes, he will always be ugly in his own. His disability seems to be the main factor that drive a lot of people away. Now it will be the main factor that will drives Haruka away from him. Haruka's love of him. No matter how much he's trying to believe the other, he knew, being deaf will never makes him beautiful, makes him perfect.
BRAK
The younger man didn't notice he's been walking himself closer and closer to the restaurant's big glass window, closer to the beautiful couple until his hand accidentally knocks the glass as he tries to reach out for his husband, effectively catching the both of their attention from each other and to him. Why does it hurts so much to see the way his beloved's eyes widen in shock? The way he abruptly stands from his seat before Zero stopped him from moving any further?
—
Why does it hurts so much for the silverette to look up to his beloved's beautiful brown orbs through the glass that separates them with his own ugly teary ones and saying out his incoherent slurred apologises for not being beautiful, for not being perfect, for being him?
"I'm so sorry...for making you mine when I knew you deserved better."
—
A/N: *avoids thrown object like a pro* Whew-! I'm so sorry for making another fanfic when I obviously need to finish the others! Q mQ);;
It's just this idea have been playing in my mind again and again and I just need to let it out or my head is going to explode! I thought at first I wanted to make this as Kaname/Zero but such pairing is too common already so I've decided to indulge it to my favourite rare pare of VK, Haruka/Zero! *squeals*
Wha? Wha? Don't worry- this is not the end yet. I'm making it into a two-shot story so stay tune~!
Edit: I figure you guys noticed the '_(number)' that I put on those edits right? Well, let me explain why:-
¹ : The kind of hearing support that Zero-chan's used isn't the normal type of hearing support. He use the type of hearing support that's connected with his cochlear implant.
² : Well, on this part. Zero-chan's been wearing the hearing support since he's 2 years old before he stopped wearing them when he's 12 years old because of all the bullying that he have to go through for being different from his classmates. He started wearing them back when he met Haruka-sama for the first time during his high school years (Haruka-sama 18 years old that time and on his last year while Zero-chan's on his 1st year) after all the encouragement he received.
Remember the part where Zero-chan's dances to the rhythm of the radio that's been placed on the kitchen's floor? Well that scene actually shows the time of their first morning as a married couple (Zero-chan 20 years old while Haruka-sama 23 years old), eventhou he already started wearing the hearing support again for 4 years, he still have gone through about 5 years of silence before it so Zero-chan got used to feeling the music vibrations using his feet instead of hearing them.
Remember the part where I wrote about the fact that Zero-chan refuses to learn to speak with the hearing support help? Well eventhou he's been wearing the said device since he's 2 years old, Zero-chan rarely speaks through those years because he's being home schooled and the first time he got the chance to interact with other kids his age when he's 12 (yes, the year where he decided to abandoned the hearing support entirely).
You know what? I think I just write out the prequel of this after I finished the 2nd chapter! _(( I'm so going to drag all of you into another angst adventure! (I'm so sorry)
And yes, I do got inspiration of this story from 'A Silent Voice' which I finally realizes of the almost similarities when I'm writing the 2nd chapter. I deeply apologies if I do something wrong because I never experience the feeling of losing hearing sense or even have a friend with the similar situation but I did do my research about it.
Until next time!