A/N: in all honesty I don't really like this cartoon, seriously it's horrible.
But there's obvious slash potential so I figured why not, I really don't like Susan but I do like Mary. Johnny's annoying and Dukey's kind of a pain.
Again I'm not a fan, but my little brother's forced me to watch it enough times for this to happen.
Apologies spelling, grammar and OOCness
Disclaimer: I do not own Johnny Test or any of it's characters
"OW!"
"And stay out!"
The door slammed shut and Bling bling rubbed his backside as it ached in pain from the beating he got this time, courtesy of the Test twins Susan and Mary.
The boy genius quickly stood up and stared at the locked door behind him with love struck eyes.
"I will never give up, sweet Susan!" Bling-bling said with a hand over his heart while the other held three burnt stems in it. "I will one day win your heart, I promise-"
"GO AWAY!"
Bling-bling cringed at the shrieked interruption that could only have come from the love of his life, opening his mouth to say something back only to shut it again as he gave a sigh and turned back towards the sidewalk.
The super genius sat down on the curb, wincing a bit as the ache on his backside throbbed to attention and he slowly tried to ease himself down onto the hard concrete.
Bling-bling pulled his tracking device out of his pocket and pressed the red button on the side to signal his scientist minions to come get him and take him back home to his island, the way he usually did after he failed in his attempts at wooing Susan Test.
It's been about a year since he first set eyes on Susan Test at the science and biology expo and he fell hopelessly in love.
He was infatuated with her long red locks and captivating blue eyes, not to mention her beautiful porcelain skin and of course her big beautiful incredible brain.
Really it was mostly her intelligence that drew him in. It was after all so hard finding companionship in people his own age, when everyone his own age and most of those who were older were complete idiots that probably couldn't even spell the word neuron if they tried.
But Susan, Susan is the complete package.
Intelligent, witty and beautiful. The perfect companion for someone with his level of intelligence and mental dexterity. But alas, Susan doesn't want him.
Susan's never wanted him although it's not like Bling-bling didn't know why.
He's well aware of his appearance.
Chubby and short, with a questionable hair cut, horrific freckles and eyes even his mother has told him look like those of insects, not to mention the new braces his mother forced him to get. Bling-bling knows he's no prize, but that never stopped him from trying.
Since the moment he saw Susan in her white lab coat and square shaped glasses he knew that she would mean something important, that she'd lead him to his destiny and he still believed it. Even after he was shot down time and time again.
Now a year later he's still trying even though he knows that it would probably be better if he just gave up.
I mean, everyone else has.
Agent Black and White got promoted after the general retired and moved to Florida, leaving the two agents to run the military agency outside of Porkbelly. Susan and Mary decided that they preferred the two agents to their old boss so most of their experiments were run passed the facility. Meaning that they didn't have to storm the Test house anymore.
Johnny moved on from being his sister's lab rat to building a life of his own. He joined a couple of school clubs, made some friends he actually hangs out with on the weekends and he even started dating Sissy. Of course everyone saw that last one coming, but they'd still fake shock if only for Johnny's sake.
Dukey was still there, always by Johnny's side, although he started concerning himself with other things like Sissy Blakely's dog Missy or on occasion, the golden retriever on the next street over resulting in quite a bit of dog fights and a bit of shameless grovelling on Dukey's part.
Mr. Mittens, mole King and Darth Vegan all retired after Johnny got boring and stopped paying attention to them all together.
Mittens was still the pampered cat he always was, ordering Albert around while he lounged around his mansion. Mole king stopped trying to take over the surface world, deciding that the sun was just too much of a bother to deal with and Darth Vegan opened up his own vegan food market with a special focus on bread and toast products.
They were all moving on with their lives, all except for Bling-bling.
He was stuck in a constant loop that survived off of his need to finally have her. To have the one girl he's always wanted but could never have and probably never will.
The boy genius let out another soft sigh as he looked down at the stems in his hands, they were the remains of the two dozen red roses he bought for Susan.
He was hoping so desperately that she'd accept them, that she'd say thank you or at least say that they were nice.
But no, all he got was an "Ewww, its Eugene!" Before the security bots were released.
Bling-bling lay down in the concrete, not caring about the hard and probably filthy surface as he stared up at the clear blue skies. The same colour of blue as Susan's eyes.
He should just give up on her, he knows he should.
But he can't.
Bling-bling has something to prove, not only to Susan but to himself as well.
Bling-bling continued to stare up at the sky as his hands tightened around the stems in his hands when his view was suddenly blocked by a face staring down at him from above.
"Hey little dude. Whatcha doing laying out here on the ground?"
Bling-bling almost sighed in frustration, of all the people to come up to him right after he got rejected it had to be the one person who was probably the main reason why he kept getting rejected.
Gil Nexdor.
It just had to be him didn't it?
Bling-bling is well aware of both Susan and Mary's affections towards Gil, after all he's used the teen to lure Susan into traps plenty of times and those plans usually worked out pretty well.
Until Johnny showed up and ruined everything of course.
The blonde's head gave a slight tilt in question and Bling-bling shut his eyes as he took a deep breath, hoping that the older teen would just go away.
"Little dude? You O.K, you're not hurt are you?"
Bling-bling shook his head, "No, I'm fine. Please just go on your way and leave me to wallow in my anguish."
It was silent for a moment, until Bling bling heard the sound of something flick loudly against the sidewalk before the shadow disappeared and a low rustling came from beside him.
"So there is something wrong?"
Bling-bling sighed as he cracked one eye open and found Gil sitting beside him on his right, skateboard balancing effortlessly on his lap as he stared back with concern.
"This really is not something I would like to talk about."
"Well then what do you want to talk about, cause I can't let someone just lie here in the middle of the side walk looking all bummed out without helping 'em out. That wouldn't be right, so why don't you just tell me what's wrong and maybe I can help you out."
Bling-bling opened his eyes and turned his head so he was facing the blonde, "I really don't see how you would be able to help me with anything."
Gil smiled, "Why don't you just start talking and we'll go on from there."
For some reason Bling-bling felt warmth start burning in his cheeks at that smile and he had to look away. It was just so warm and open, he isn't used to anyone other than his mother looking at him with anything but annoyance and anger. Johnny and his minions were the few exceptions but Bling-bling just felt like it was different with them.
Although he wasn't exactly sure why.
Gil sighed and suddenly Bling-bling's chin was grasped and he was forced to look back a the blonde. "How about we start like this; hi, my name's Gil, what's yours?"
Bling-bling paused for a moment, "It's Bling-bling."
Gil gave a broad smile, "Bling-bling, huh? That's a pretty cool name, did your parents really name you that or is it like a nickname?"
"It's my super villain alias, you know, Bling-bling boy the devastatingly devious and fabulous super villain." Bling-bling said in exasperation while Gil just stared at him in confusion, "I've kidnapped you like five times."
Gil looked up in thought, "Nah, I don't think so. I think I'd remember getting kidnapped."
Bling-bling just rolled his eyes, of course he didn't remember, "My real name is Eugene, Eugene Hamilton."
"Eugene's a cool name too." Gil said with that oblivious smile and Eugene felt his cheeks start to warm all over again, "So Eugene, you wanna tell me what you're doing lying in front of Johnny bro's house?"
"Nursing a broken heart." Bling-bling said sadly as he stared back up at the sky.
"Oh, so you're having girl problems. I get it now." Gil said with a chuckle and Eugene fought back against the urge to look at the teen. "So who's the girl?"
"Susan Test."
"Susan who?"
Bling-bling shot up and stared at disbelief at the blonde who was staring at him in confusion and he almost squeaked.
"Susan Test! Mary Test's twin sister. The Test twins?!" The blonde didn't show any sign of comprehension and Eugene all but screeched, "Johnny's sisters?! They live right next door!"
"Wait a minute, Johnny has sisters and they live next door? I had no idea."
Eugene gaped, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as he wondered how it was that Susan preferred this brainless monkey to him.
"So this girl, is she your girlfriend?" Gil asked after a moment of silent pondering from him and complete disbelief from Bling-bling. The boy just shook his head.
"No she's not."
"But you want her to be, am I right?"
"Yes, you are correct."
"Did you ask her out?"
Bling-bling gave a nod and Gil continued, "She shot you down?"
Another nod.
Gil shrugged, "Try again, maybe next time-"
"I've tried more than two-hundred and eighty five times in the passed two years." Bling-bling said sadly as he just stared down at the flower stems in his hands, "And every time she's refused."
"Wow, two-hundred and eighty five times? And she kept rejecting you?" Gil asked in shock Bling-bling squeaked out a yes and the blonde let out a deep breath, "Bro, that's rough, did she tell you why?"
Eugene nodded, "And what did she say?"
"She said that I'm gross and lame and evil and she'd never ever want anything to do with me... Ever." The boy said, trying not to think about the much worse things that Susan has said to him since they met two years ago when Gil spoke.
"Harsh, she doesn't sound like a very nice girl."
"Susan Test is not only nice, but she's wonderful!" Eugene said, "She's beautiful and witty, more charming than a princess, kind and elegant like a swan. She's a genius for crying out loud! Susan is perfect."
"A perfect girl wouldn't hurt someone else's feelings and say all those nasty things." Gil reasoned and Bling-bling opened his mouth to protest but was cut off. "If anything she just sounds mean and you really shouldn't have to put up with that little man. I'm sure there are lots of girls out there that'd love to go out with you if you just asked."
Bling-bling faltered in his next monologue on the perfection of Susan Test as he looked back down at the stems in his hand and sighed, "No they wouldn't, no one would. Susan Test is a super genius, she's not supposed to be like everyone else. If a brilliant mind like hers can't see any reason to want me, then what are the chances of anyone else feeling that way? I'm not... No one would ever want a loser like me."
"How do you know that?"
"They never have before, why would they now?"
"Why wouldn't they, I mean, you seem like a pretty nice dude. I really don't get why anyone would think any different." Gil said with a warm smile, "All you have to do is go out there put out your best smile and you'll have the girls lined up to meet you."
"That's easy for you to say. Just look at you!" Eugene scoffed as he waved a hand around Gil. "You're all handsome and lean, with the smouldering eyes and blonde hair. The perfect tan, you have no problem getting any girl you want and probably hundreds you don't want without even trying."
"Well I-" Gil sheepishly scratched the back of his neck while a light almost invisible blush burned across his cheeks but Eugene was too lost in his rant to notice.
"And me? Well I'm just, ugly, fat and short with terrible hair, braces and freckles... Freckles! No one would ever want me, I was just fooling myself in thinking that Susan ever would." Eugene said as he looked up into the sky and saw his jet coming in the distance, flashing gold as it sped across the blue skies when he suddenly felt a hand fall on his shoulder and give a comforting squeeze.
"Hey." Bling-bling was so surprised that he didn't even notice that Gil had moved closer or even the loud screech that came from the house behind them.
The blonde gave him a warm smile as he leaned forward a bit "You're not ugly or gross or any of those other things that girl called you. You're a great dude, Eugene. Just cause what's-her-name can't see what's in front of her then that doesn't mean that no one else ever will. Someday, you'll find someone who really is perfect that won't trash dozens of red kings roses when you give them to her."
Bling-bling blinked in surprise, "How did you-"
Gil reached out and took one of the charred stems that the boy was holding, "My aunt's a florist, I work in her shop in the summer sometimes. I can't imagine what kind of girl would destroy something so innocent and pure just cause she can."
Eugene looked down at the stems and sighed, "The roses were beautiful."
Gil glanced up at Eugene for a moment, "Yeah, the roses." The blonde shook his head as he dropped the stem on the ground, "Anyway, Gene you should get over her, bra. You deserve better... Hey, you know what? I'm having a party next saturday, bbq pool party at my house. Johnny-bro's coming with his new girl. You should totally come too, you could meet some new girls, Gene."
Eugene looked up at the blonde in shock at the offer of kindness, not exactly sure what to think about his new nickname or the fact that he kind of liked it.
The boy genius looked away for a moment, showing his shyness for the first time in years after he graduated from college as he unconsciously started scratching his nose right over the freckles that spotted it. "I don't know, I don't really think I'd fit in-"
"Are you kidding me? You'll totally fit in. C'mon it'll be fun."
"I-..." Eugene let out a deep breath and gave a bright smile, "Alright I'll go."
"Awesome!" Gil said as he stood up and Bling-bling did the same as he heard the engines from his transport, they'll be here any minute. "Saturday three o'clock, don't forget your swim trunks. Oh and hey, little dude, one more thing."
Eugene looked up at the blonde when his eyes went wide and he froze when a pair of lips suddenly covered his own. A blood chilling scream came from the house behind them, but Bling-bling could barely hear it over the sound of blood rushing to his ears as his face caught in a horrible blush.
It was a kiss. Warm and firm but also soft, it lasted too long and ended too quickly when Gil pulled back with a smile.
"Don't forget the freckles, they're cute."
Eugene just stared back in shock while Gil pulled away completely and dropped his skateboard on the sidewalk as he rode away.
"Later Gene."
Bling-bling just waved back dumbly, barely even aware of the fact that he was staring long after Gil had disappeared around the corner when the sound of turbo engines were roaring above him until the jet landed right there on the street.
"Sir, we've come to pick you up."
One of his henchmen said seeming to finally snap the boy out of his comatose state and he looked down at the two remaining stems in his hands before dropping them on the side of the street and walking over to get in the jet.
Meanwhile in the Test laboratory.
"NOOO!" Mary screamed as she threw herself over the controls on the main computer until she slid down to the floor as the image of the security camera's of the two teenage boys sitting on the curb of their sidewalk played on repeat.
Susan was sitting in the corner in the foetal position as she rocked back and forth as she pulled at her hair. "This can't be happening! This can't be happening!"
"This is all your fault!" Mary suddenly screeched as she shot up from her spot on the floor to glare at her sister and Susan did the same.
"My fault?! How is this my fault?!"
"You're the one that kept rejecting him!"
"What was I supposed to do, actually go out with him?!"
"Yes!"
"No way! I was waiting for Gil, why didn't you go out with him?!"
"Cause he's in love with you not me!"
"Actually," Sissy suddenly said from her spot beside Johnny in front of one of the monitors in the lab while Dukey chuckled, Missy gave a doggy smirk and Johnny outright laughed, "I don't think he wants either of you now."
Susan and Mary both stared at the girl in silence, until they both collapsed and screamed, "WE LOST GIL!"
The End
A/N: yup
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