A/N: another i-pod shuffle
This is a Edward/Jacob one shot inspired by the song Walk of Shame by P!nk and that's all you need to know
Apologies spelling, grammar and OOCness
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters, that right goes to Stephanie Meyer
"Shit shit shit shit shit." Jacob cursed softly as he went around the room, pulling his shoes on at the end of the creaky broken bed and rushing over the clutter on the floor on the other side of the room as quickly as the painful limp he moved with would allow.
Morning light shone brightly through the large windows, beaming down happy rays of morning joy as the sun slowly started to rise. A warm spring breeze blew through the window, carrying the scent of forest and pine as it lazily drifted through the air while the sounds of chirping birds filled the air in cheerful harmonies to greet the new day.
Jacob glared at the window as he pulled on his crumpled shirt, before turning back to check and make sure that he took everything he owned. He'd never be able to live it down if he actually had to come back for anything in this god forsaken house, the shifter would rather leave it here for all eternity than have to go through any more of this trauma.
At that Jacob paused to take a deep breath and try to calm himself, but it was hard trying to calm down when the very breath he took made his nose burn with pain and his blood start to simmer with anger. But then again, his nose wouldn't be burning with that sickeningly sweet scent of bleach if he hadn't been a complete idiot and done something completely stupid.
But it was an accident.
Sort of...
Look, Jacob hadn't planned on sleeping-... On going home with 'him' of all the damned souls in this world, it just sort of,
Happened.
You see, all he did was go to Jessica Stanley's party. A party that Bella invited him to herself, a party she promised would be leech free for an entire night, but evidently wasn't leech free for an entire night.
Jacob made that discovery the moment that he pulled up in front of Jessica's house and saw the shiny black volvo parked along with twenty others along the suburban street. The wolf had planned on just leaving but he couldn't just leave without telling Bella first right?
I mean he promised his best friend that he'd be there and Jacob hated that look that Bella gave him whenever he broke a promise. He hated it so much he promised himself never to do it again.
So he went inside the crowded house. He tried to ignore the loud music, the clouds of smoke and varying scents of too sweet perfume and the underage drinkers scattered all over the Stanley house and went to look for his friend. When he found her, she gave him a hug and begged him to stay, of course the leech wasn't too far behind. Lurking there among the humans, as always dressed like he just stepped out of a copy of vogue while looking as pale and emo as ever.
Jacob had grinned when the vampire fixed a glare on him as Bella wrapped her tiny arms around him and held back a growl when the vampire smirked as Bella went back to his side and he wrapped an arm around her waist.
The fucking leech even leaned down to press a kiss on the girl's cheek, earning a blush from Bella and a glare from the wolf.
Of course, Jacob tried.
He tried his hardest to talk to Bella and ignore the cold one's existence completely, but unfortunately that proved to be nearly impossible.
If it wasn't the sickening scent of bloodsucker clogging up his nose, it was the way the vampire seemed to smirk or crack a smug smile in the middle of the conversation, letting Jacob know loud and clear that he was invading the shifters thoughts.
It all got to be too much, so Jacob made up some excuse about getting a drink (or maybe it was about going to the bathroom he can't remember which) and escaped the house as quickly as possible.
He promised Bella that he wouldn't leave and went outside to the back yard, where the sound of the music carried over and dozens more teenagers who were all scattered around the pool and patio.
Jacob took a deep breath of the cool night air, before deciding that he'd need a drink if he was going through with this and he headed over to the Forks high students that all stood huddled around a beer keg on the lawn.
One beer, two beers, three beers, four.
Jacob drifted along the house and talked to a couple of Forks high students he's seen on the rez a couple of times. Eric kept him company for a couple of minutes before disappearing to some other corner of the house. Jessica came over with Angela, batting her eyes at him and flirting with a drunken slur that made him cringe. Jacob made sure to detach her from his arm and move as far away as humanly possible from the girl only to get cornered by Mike Newton five minutes later.
Seven beers, eight beers, nine beers, ten.
Jacob excused himself and went to the bathroom but found Mike right there waiting for him when he got back out. Never did Jacob think that he'd ever see the day when another human being was clingier than Jessica Stanley.
Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.
He wasn't drunk, just lightly buzzed. Fact of the matter is that it would be virtually impossible for him to really get drunk, the shifter gene made sure of that. No matter how much he ever drank he could only get it as far as that warm buzz in the back of your head. You know the one where you're pretty friendly but not quite friendly enough to go home with any random asshole you meet.
Mike's come on's were getting pushier with every second, so pushy that Jacob's buzz was starting to wear out and the shifter was seriously starting to consider punching the blonde in the face to see if that was enough of a hint for him to back off when he was saved by his worst enemy.
Edward fucking Cullen.
"Jacob." The vampire said as he let his eyes drift down to the blonde crowding Jacob's personal space, gold eyes narrowed minutely before Edward looked back up at Jacob. "I think you've had enough to drink, maybe I should give you a ride back home."
Of course, Jacob knew that Edward knew that getting drunk for a shifter was impossible so in that moment Jacob was somewhere between relieved and completely pissed off.
Relieved, since he now had the perfect excuse to escape the less than subtle advances of Mike Newton without getting arrested for assault, and completely pissed off since the leech had no right to just come in and save him like some night in shining fucking armour.
But for now, Jacob was willing to ignore his anger and just go with it. If only to get as far away from this party as humanly possible.
Oh, God. Mike's hand is on his ass.
"Where's Bella?" Jacob asked as he squirmed out of the blonde's reach trying to seem as neutral as possible only to blink in surprise when he caught the vampire openly glaring at Mike. "Hey, Cullen!"
Edward's eyes snapped back up at Jacob, "What?"
"Bella, where is she?"
"I took her home ten minutes ago, I just came back to check and make sure you're alright."
"I-"
"He's fine Cullen." Mike grinned as he leaned over towards Jacob's ear and practically purred out, "But hey, if you want a ride, I wouldn't mind giving you one."
Jacob's eyes went wide he immediately squirmed away again, "Yeah, no thanks."
"Aw c'mon," Mike slurred, "I promise it'll be fun."
"Jacob," Jacob's head snapped down to his wrist when the vampire's ice cold hand wrapped around it and started to tug him away, "C'mon, let's go."
Jacob gave a quick nod and let Edward lead him through the crowd of teens out into the open air and back to Edward's car, but stopped just as Edward got into his car and looked back at his own which was parked a few spaces away. Boxed in by at least four others and the shifter gave a heavy sigh.
Shit.
"Get in."
Jacob glared at the vampire as he turned to go back to his own car, "No fucking way."
"Would you rather get a ride from him?" Edward said nodding his head back towards the house and Jacob looked back, only to cringe when he saw Mike standing on the porch.
Damn, he really is worse than Jessica.
Letting out one more heavy sigh, Jacob opened the door to the passenger seat and slid inside.
"Seat belt." Edward growled out and Jacob rolled his eyes as he put his seat belt on.
"For the record I didn't need your-" Jacob cut himself off when the volvo suddenly jerked out of it's parking spot, forcing him back into the seat before it started tearing down the street.
"Fuck!" Jacob gasped while his hands went down to grasp his seat in a death grip before looking back to Edward as his buzz almost instantly vanished, "What the hell?! Are trying to get me killed?!"
Edward said nothing, the vampire just kept his eyes on the road and Jacob glared when the volvo suddenly made a sharp turn as it continued to speed down the road.
The shifter's breath hitched in his throat as he all but screeched, "Damn it leech, what the hell is wrong with you?!"
"Nothing." The vampire ground out as he kept his eyes on the road while his hands seemed to tighten around the steering wheel, making the leather covering squeak in protest.
Jacob growled in annoyance, 'I should've stayed at the party with Mike-'
"Do you have any sense of self preservation whatsoever?" Edward growled out, cutting into Jacob's train of thought making the shifter frown in confusion.
"What-" the wolf gasped again when the car made another sudden sharp turn and he started panting in his seat.
"Do you have any idea what kind of..." The vampire stopped as the car started to speed up and Jacob pressed his back further back into his seat.
"This isn't even the first time this has happened. You just go around completely oblivious to the fact that you..." The car thumped to a screeching halt right in front of the Cullen house, making Jacob reach out to brace a hand on the dashboard and gasp as he stared at the vampire with wide eyes.
"What the fuck is your problem?!"
Edward glared at Jacob and the shifter almost flinched back in surprise at the anger he saw there before he quickly pulled himself together and glared back.
"You are my problem."
"Me?"
"Yes, you."
"Look bloodsucker, I didn't ask for your help back there. You all but blackmailed me into getting into your car and I agreed like the fucking idiot I was for some reason, but I didn't make you do anything-"
"What the hell were you doing with Yorkie and Stanley and then Newton?!"
Jacob just blinked in surprise, "Excuse me?"
Edward all but ripped his seat belt off and Jacob briefly wondered why he even needed to wear a seat belt when the vampire shut off the ignition before turning to fully face the shifter in the passenger seat.
"Stanley and Newton, mutt! First Stanley's hanging all over you when I take Bella home and then I come back to find you just standing there with Newton's hands all over you."
"What the- are you serious right now?!" Jacob screeched in disbelief.
"Yes I'm-"
Edward was cut off when Jacob's eyes narrowed down in a glare as he snarled, "Whoever hangs around or touches me is none of your fucking business Cullen. I'm not your fucking property. I'm not like Bella and I'm not human. You can't control me like you do them so get over yourself."
"Jacob-"
"Fuck off!" Jacob immediately popped the latch on his seat belt and shoved the door open as he got out only to let out a grunt of pain and surprise when he was suddenly grabbed and slammed against the side of the car. When Jacob got a hold of his bearings he realised that his arms were locked down at his sides while Edward stared at him with pitch black eyes.
"I have every right to know who touches you." Edward growled as he inched closer to Jacob's lips, making the shifter's eyes go wide.
"What the hell are you doing?!"
"Showing you who you belong to."
Before Jacob could even think to respond Edward locked their lips in a bruising kiss, making the wolf freeze for a moment before he suddenly found himself kissing back.
Call it hormones, shifter genes messing with his head, built up frustration from months of chasing after Bella or just plain insanity. Whatever it was saw Jacob stumbling into the Cullen mansion up to Edwards room, virtually destroying all of Edwards prized possessions. As they slammed and kissed and fucked against every surface in the room until they eventually made it to the very same bed that Edward supposedly bought for Bella, before they broke that too.
Biting, kissing and rutting like they'd both gone into heat. Edward kept growling possessively in Jacob's ear grabbing and holding tight enough for it to leave bruises or even break bones on a normal human.
Jacob took another deep breath as he tried to shake away the memories of the previous night, which was kind of hard, considering the fact that he still had a very painful reminder throbbing on his lower back. He could almost feel the burn from the hickeys that Edward made all over him and Jacob prayed that they'd all be healed before anyone noticed.
He hadn't heard any noises coming from the rest of the house since he woke up ten minutes ago, so hopefully they're all out hunting.
All he has to do is get out of the house and he'll be home free, that's it. Just get through leech central without being seen.
Piece of cake.
Jacob leaned forward to press his ear against the door as he listened for a moment. He could hear the sound of metal clinging, it sounded like a pan or maybe a pot, forks and spoons.
Someone's cooking.
Jacob remembers Bella telling him that Edward's mother Esme had a thing for cooking, even though they couldn't eat anyway.
Well, that means that there's at least one leech in the house. Edward wasn't in the room when he got up that morning, so Jacob hoped that he wasn't in the house either. He really didn't want to make things anymore awkward than they already were.
The shifter looked back at the window with a mournful pout before turning back to the door.
If it weren't for the aches that still sang all across his body, he probably would have just jumped out the window and ran home. But he's miles away from the reservation and phasing would mean that anyone else in his pack that had phased at that time would see everything, including what he did with a parasite the night before.
No, he'll take the door.
Besides, it's just one vampire right?
Jacob can slip by her without being noticed.
It's a slightly bigger piece of cake, but cake nonetheless.
The shifter pulled back and made to quietly open the door, when it flew open and he was forced to stumble back a few feet with a flinch of pain.
"Edward why does your room reek of-"
The vampire stopped as it locked eyes with Jacob and the shifter cringed when he realised that it was the blonde one.
Rosalie.
Gold eyes were wide as they stared back at the shifter until they narrowed back down into a glare and her lips twisted into a hateful sneer.
"What the hell are you doing here mutt?"
"Leaving." Jacob said as he made for the door only to have the blonde step up in front of him with her arms folded across her chest.
"You didn't answer my question, dog. Why are you-" the blonde stopped when her nose gave a subtle twitch and she frowned before leaning towards him slightly to take a deep breath. "What the-"
Jacob felt his cheeks begin to burn when Rosalie moved even closer and continued to sniff him until her mouth fell open in a gape and her eyes went wide.
"No... You didn't."
"Shut up." Jacob said as he walked around her to walk out of the room only to freeze when he felt a sniff against his lower back and he could almost feel the smug grin directed at the back of his head.
"Well well well, seems like someone got lucky last night, huh pup?"
"Shove it barbie, I'm not in the mood." Jacob said with a glare over his shoulder while Rosalie gave him a bright grin as he walked or rather limped out of the room.
The wolf sighed in frustration when he heard the blonde let out a high pitched giggle but didn't look back as he made his way down the hall, praying to whatever god was out there that he wouldn't run into anyone else on his way out.
Oh silly Jacob, never ask the gods for favours.
A door at the end of the hall opened just as Jacob was about to go down the stairs and the shifter hoped that he'd make the turn without being seen, but of course he didn't.
"A wolf?" A voice said sounding more than just a little bit surprised and the wolf cringed as he took a deep breath before looking up to find Carlisle staring at him in shock.
Jacob stood still as the vampire approached him looking more than just a little surprised as he stopped in front of the teen just before the stairs.
"Uh..." Jacob's mind whirled as he tried to think of something to say but ultimately came up with nothing. It's not like Jacob could tell him to fuck off like he usually tells the rest of his children, he's the sire of the family, the coven leader.
Whether the tribe wanted to admit it or not, they had a lot of respect for Carlisle Cullen. He was always respectful towards the council, made sure that he and his family kept to the treaty and never unnecessarily picked a fight with the tribe. They have no reason not to respect him.
No, Jacob really couldn't tell him to fuck off, that would be rude even for him so he settled for a lame.
"Hi."
"Good morning," the doctor paused as his eyes narrowed down at the wolf before he asked. "Jacob Black, I assume?"
"Uh, yeah."
The doctor's lips pursed together in a tight line for a moment and his eyebrows furrowed in thought while Jacob just shifted uncomfortably in front of him. "May I ask what you're doing here Jacob, is there some kind of emergency or-"
"Oh no emergency Carlisle," Rosalie suddenly said and Jacob almost groaned in frustration. "No I think, Edward just wanted to get better acquainted with the wolves so he brought Jacob here last night so they could be... Better acquainted."
The doctor frowned at his daughter while Jacob looked over his shoulder to find the blonde leaning against the door jab of Edwards room with a smug grin on her face. The shifter almost growled when a deep intake of breath brought him back to the vampire before him and he found Carlisle staring at him with wide eyes.
Jacob blushed.
"Oh... Ughm well this is, unexpected." Carlisle said looking away from Jacob for a moment and the shifter felt his face burn even hotter as he cursed Edward and Rosalie to the deepest pits of hell.
Jacob looked down at the floor, hoping that it would just open up and swallow him whole as he shifted a bit more. The shifter winced when that ache on his lower back throbbed in an effort to get his attention.
"Jacob."
The shifter looked up to find Carlisle staring at him with concern but wished he hadn't since he could see the doctor's eyes skimming over the hickeys that Edward left all around his neck and chest. How he saw them through Jacob's shirt is a mystery but Jacob just knew he could.
The shifter self consciously tugged at the collar of his shirt as the vampire spoke. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. I should go." Jacob said just as he turned to rush down the stairs when Carlisle spoke again.
"Are you sure? I notice that you seem to have a few marks on you and have a slight limp to your walk, it really wouldn't be any trouble to examine you before you go back home."
By now Jacob's face was on fire as he tried and failed to make eye contact when Rosalie spoke, "I'd take him up on that offer if I were you pup. I mean, Edward's been celibate for more than ninety years and from the looks of things," Rosalie said giving a glance back into Edwards thoroughly trashed room before giving Jacob a leering stare as she spoke. "He used you to make up for at least fifty. Who knows what kind of horrible things he did to you."
Jacob glared at the blonde while she just grinned when Carlisle spoke and made Jacob wish he was dead.
"I should probably check you for venom exposure. Plus we have no idea what effects vampire sperm has on shapeshifters, it could be quite fascinating to find out. But other than that I should probably check you for any rectal tearing." The doctor said thoughtfully and Rosalie burst out in laughing. The blonde practically fell to the floor as the giggles rocked through her body the doctor shook his head at her behaviour.
Jacob was mortified, "That's O.K, I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive." Jacob said quickly as he went down the stairs, when Rosalie suddenly called,
"Jacob wait! Think about your rectum!"
'Kill me now! Kill me now! Kill me now!'
"Rosalie." Carlisle scolded with a disapporoving frown while the girl just smiled, "What? I'm genuinely concerned."
Jacob made it down the stairs with minimal effort but quite a bit of flinching as he continuously wished for his spontaneous explosion. The shifter almost sighed in relief when he saw the front door.
Freedom, salvation, sanctua- oh fuck.
The shifter froze at the two figures he could see headed for the glass door, the two looked up and stared right back at him in surprise. Before the larger one's eyes narrowed into a glare while the blonde just stared in confusion.
Emmett threw the door open but Jasper caught it before it could slam into the wall and shatter into pieces while the larger vampire growled.
"What the hell is a mutt doing in our house?"
Jacob pulled his shoulder's back and growled as well, relieved at the familiar hostility he's used to around the cold ones when the tiny one with spikey hair destroyed all his hopes and dreams in one felt swoop.
"He's our guest." Alice chirped as she suddenly appeared beside Jacob making Emmett frown in confusion while Jasper just watched on with interest.
"A guest?" The blonde asked as Alice stepped forward to take Jacob's hand. "Yes a guest." The pixie looked up at Jacob with a bright smile making his glare falter as she pulled him towards the kitchen.
"C'mon, Esme's made you breakfast. You must be starving after everything that happened last night." Jacob's blush returned full force and Emmett's frown deepened even more.
"Wait a minute, what happened last night?"
Alice stopped to tilt her head a bit as she spoke. "Well, Jacob needed a ride home after the party that Stanley girl had last night and-"
"And Edward gave him a ride all night long."
Jacob sighed in defeat as he glared down at the ground, honestly there's no way he could be anymore embarrassed than he already is. So what's the point?
The shifter tried to ignore the way his cheeks practically turned to lava when Emmett and Jasper both leaned forward to smell him. The larger vampire gaped while Jasper gave him a sympathetic smile at his embarrassment.
"Well damn." Emmett said just as Rosalie walked over to stand beside him and he looked the shifter over taking in the marks he had all over him only just noticing how the teen was basically drenched in Edwards scent. "Someone got a little carried away."
"You should see Edward's room. It looks like a hurricane went through there."
"Hurricane Jacob?"
"Hurricane Edward, unfortunately Jake-pup doesn't want Carlisle to examine the damage he did. Who knows what kind of damage is left on him."
"Bite marks?"
"Rectal marks." Rosalie said with a solemn nod before the two snickered and Alice frowned at them, "Oh that's enough you two, you're making him blush."
Emmett bit his lip and Rosalie looked away, Jacob took one more deep breath. "Can I please go home so I can die now."
"But you can't go Jacob." Alice whined with wide eyes, "Esme never gets to cook for anyone and she was so excited when I told her that you spent the night."
"I can't eat anything." Jacob said as he shook his head and turned towards the door, he really couldn't. He was too traumatised to eat.
"But Jacob-"
Jacob didn't listen as he pushed passed Rosalie and Emmett and stomped out through the front door. Alice gave a sigh before she clicked her tongue in disapproval at the two.
"Rosalie."
The blonde just rolled her eyes while Jasper went to go stand beside her, "Is that why you had us all leave the house last night?"
"Yes," Alice huffed as she leaned into her mate, "I just knew they would scare Jacob off if they were here when Edward brought him home."
"Wait you knew this was going to happen?" Emmett asked in disbelief and Alice rolled her eyes.
Meanwhile Jacob was outside, thanking every god in existence that he managed to get out of there, before cursing when he caught sight of Edward leaning against his precious volvo in the drive way.
Stupid gods.
"Good morning, pup." The telepath smirked and stepped forward when Jacob glared at him, "Are you sure you don't want to stay for breakfast? You look like you might need it."
The shifter felt his blood boil and anger course through his veins and before he could stop himself, he phased. Clothes tearing in the wind as he leaped forward knocking the vampire down onto his back as he snarled viciously when-
'OH MY GOD!'
'Jake you didn't?!'
'Eww! Eww! Eww!'
'What the fuck man!'
'Oh fuck its so gross!'
'MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!'
'MY MIND! I'VE BEEN SCARRED!'
'Jacob what the hell?!'
The large russet wolf whimpered in embarrassment, ears going flat against it's head while it's tail moved in between it's hind legs.
Oh God, when will it end?!
And on top of that, his stomach chooses that exact moment to growl.
"So." Jacob looked back down at Edward to find a wide grin on the vampire's face as he spoke, "Breakfast?"
'I hate you.'
The end
A/N: Please review