I will come take you with my hands
And I'll be what you weren't expecting
I'll be that wind that you carry inside yourself
And that destiny nobody has ever chosen
And then…love is a simple thing
And now,now,now
I ll show you.
It's well into the night when she slid back into the bed one last time before going to sleep by her girl's side. She needed to take a moment to just sit down and sort out what had just happened. She had almost surrendered. She had put her woman to sleep one last time sure she would've been carted off somewhere else,maybe to Max,soon,but either destiny or something had taken another quick swerve with her standing at the door ready to spit out the truth. Another chance. A tiny bit too late into turning back,she had remembered she was about to pull the bailing out this time. She had murdered somebody,she had put herself in trouble,and she was gonna leave knowing full well she was the final reason why there was a point of no return for them. Over those blue eyes and blonde silky hair she had sworn it was harder. All the time they had spent away from each other had shown they all had flaws. They had both made mistakes. Some were well buried into the past,some fresh and raw like yesterday. They had the desire to make each other happy,and then destroy it,because of who they had been,because of love and how they had learned it. Alex was well past knowing that she wasn't the destiny a person would've usually chosen,that she had spent many nights hating Piper for ever doubtin her,when she had only loved her,and found the one,while also looking for all the things which might have spooked her back into her world of buried feelings and issues sweeped under the carpet. But she also knew that 8 years of being apart had done nothing to make her feel any different about the woman lying in front of her. No amount of cheating,screaming,and blaming could've severed the connection. She was well past everything that had happened and finally wanted to settle for something simple. Like old people. That love was something simple,and they needed to stop trying to fight it. Everything they had been through had seriously fucked them up beyond repair,but the will they had always had to try again,that was pure devotion,and Alex was willing to show Piper,again and again,that love could be simple,that they didn't need to be at each other's troath everytime,that they could face trouble,that all the hurt hadn't crushed them. It was yes beyond Piper having accepted what she had done,or the brutality of it,or her having forgiven her for ever kissing anybody else. It was no more the Christmas she had spent the entire January forgetting,and it wasn't even what had happened in Paris. For once in her life she held the sheer certainty that holding onto each other even without doing nothing was enough. They had spent years traveling,partying,never stopping. Maybe they were just supposed to. Maybe that was why she was looking at Piper sleeping in her bed,and she thought that was the best sight she had seen,the quietest moment they had ever had up till now. When Alex was certain more than anything that they could sort out things like adults,like lovers. They could face everything,all the hurt. All the pain she was feeling over what she had done was momentarily dulled by sitting in there and thinking about what everything had come to. They were supposed to be together. They were stuck with each other,for good and for bad. Now even destiny had shown her,them. She felt guilty. Somebody else had gone down for it,but the selfish part of her,the one which could often comprehend some of Piper's actions and forgive them,felt like they had finally been given a chance to make everything right. Just like when Piper had risked almost the same fate. Piper was indeed the reason she could feel like she could do anything. Something worth living for. She had come to get her,with her hands,she wanted to be her dream,her safe place. She wanted Piper more than she had ever wanted anybody,she could be stuck in her 20s forever when looking into those eyes. Yes,maybe it could be that simple. They were not perfect,but maybe they weren't supposed to be.
This is who I am
And it's only me,the moment I decided
That I can make you laugh,and never for no reason
It's me wether I come back or then go away
These are my people
My streets,my faces
The bridges that lead me back to when I was a child
As the memories flash by,if I am being honest
I remain where I am but I m not the way I was
It's that desire to tell you laughing
Doomed to be together. Up till the very last breath of each other's lives. Maybe it was the sheer knowledge that it could've been them. That they could've lost what they had,forever. So many times they had lived in that fear. Once it had depended on them "working" for the Cartel,and recently with their troubles in prison,but they had gotten through,they could still fight over grief,pain,for happiness for everything they wanted. A long time ago she had figured out that Alex could be her way out of sadness and fear. That maybe the sadness was not having her by her side. She needed to know(she had her just a few hours before, doomed to be). Alex needed to know. Again and one time more. To be told while she was looking in her green eyes,with her everpresent secretary glasses. She needed to gather up the courage,sit her down and tell her,after what they had promised. Tell her that she could be screwed up from the inside out but Alex had made her come alive,she had made her feel at home in every place. Alex was her home. What they had now,the people surrounding them,that was their home. She needn't be that frightened child she had been anymore. She had opened and closed so many windows and doors. She had done lots of coming and leaving. She had always come back to the source of her happiness,to the one she could make laugh just by words,just by her touch. She had come back to Alex,and the hard simpleness of what they had. Maybe it could be easy. Maybe Alex could've finally made her see,that even the still odd not so much calmness of their loud life could give her what she wanted. She had always wanted somebody to make her feel safe,at home,to hold her and quell the fears she had always had. There was no going away,no escaping. She wasn't going away this time. They were stuck with each other. Living out their life together. With all the cards on the table,their mistakes and their make ups. It was about letting go of what had been,deal with what they had at hand,but also remember that there was still an Us. They had changed,they had hurt,their wounds very deep,the physical ones too,but She hadn't buried anybody. She hadn't had to bury the love of her life. A month ago she had almost been taken away,without her knowledge,and Piper was still afraid sometimes that Alex could have died thinking that Piper didn't love her anymore. There had been so much death around them lately. Somebody had tried to get Alex,Alex had gotten him,and then somebody else had died right in front of them,as a quick reminder of how temporary life could be,how much time they had wasted fooling around,crying,hurtin each other,kicking and twisting as if they weren't each other's most beautiful thing. Each other's world. They weren't perfect,and maybe they weren't supposed to be. Maybe there was an heaven.A personal one. Maybe they could be each other's heaven.
My love,take my hands again and again
Like those who leave,not knowing if they will ever return
Remember you're better than all the sad days
Better than bitterness,than each tear
Better than the war with sadness
You're my heaven…you're my heaven.
First Vauseman for me. Pretty excited. You may imagine this one to be set between 4x11 and 4x13,the first part is about the night of the questioning,when Al is about to spill out the truth about the murder;while the second one is set at the beginning of the season finale as my own answer to what Pipes might have wanted to say to Al in the dormitories,after everything that happened in 4x12.
Song references:"Love is a simple thing" by italian artist T. Ferro . I swear he wrote the perfect Vauseman song without knowing.