Summary: Wedding plans are just so complicated. Maybe it'd be easier to elope… (one shot, RobRae)

Toboe LoneWolf: I felt shippy. Shippy, my way. So I did. Where'd this idea come from? Owlknight, by Mercedes Lackey, the epilogue.

Humor, folks. And a bit of fandom parody. And of course, Robin/Raven. XP

Disclaimer: Toboe LoneWolf most certainly does not own the Teen Titans. Or any matrimonial plans. XP

Elopement

"No," Raven interrupted firmly, and Starfire's face fell. "No throknars, no parades down Jump City, and especially no formal dancing. Of any kind. I hate doing that in front of people."

Starfire looked to Robin for support, and Robin shook his head. "We're agreed on this, Star. We want a small and private ceremony, a modest celebration, and that's that. No fireworks," Robin added, looking at Beast Boy and Cyborg, "No announcements over the Internet, and we're definitely not painting the Tower."

Starfire lifted her head. "But could we not manage to combine the festivities with Blorthog?" Her eyes shined and she clasped her hands together, jumping a bit. "Think of what fabulous celebration that would make! Forever symbolizing the bond of friendship and love together! And with the giving of tinnabulas as well as the exchanging of rings in the manner of Earth traditions!"

Raven and Robin exchanged a glance, as Starfire launched into another set of grandiose plans. "I don't suppose Tamaraneans are familiar with the concept of elopement, are they?" Raven whispered.

He laughed and held her closer, and she snuggled into his embrace, the action having become the most natural thing between the two. "Maybe we ought to consider introducing it to her," he whispered back, and she stifled a laugh into his shoulder.

"This is your eternal love life we are planning!" Starfire frowned and stopped waving her arms in the middle of her exposé. "You must pay attention, love birds!"

One could hear the unbeknownst-and-now-only-revealed-chick flick movie-strip screech to a halt and rewind. The two said "love birds" blinked.

"What?"

"…That is, I have heard, from the papers displayed most prominently, that the two of you are 'love birds' about to make their 'nest' together…" Starfire seemed to wilt as the dumbstruck faces of her two beloved friends stared back at her.

"You mean you haven't seen all that stuff posted everywhere?" Cyborg said, incredulous. "It's everywhere!"

Said chick flick movie was having second considerations at being played.

"I make it a point not to read fandom wank, tabloids, newspaper headlines, or editorials." Raven said, deadpan, before groaning and planting her forehead in palm with an audible smack. "Oh, no. Please, no."

"Can I return you if they're going to describe us like that?" Robin asked plaintively.

Raven momentarily looked up from her hand. "With puns like that, you're stuck with me forever. Tabloids and shippers never die."

Beast Boy rubbed his hands. "Dude! I never knew you could do so many puns with you guys. I mean, there's 'love birds' and 'bird boy' and 'dark raven' and 'birds together flock— hey!" His face was whacked by a sofa cushion engulfed in black.

Raven turned to look at Robin. "Eloping sounds even better and better."

He nodded solemnly. "I believe it does. How does New Zealand sound?"

"We might have to run from Lord of the Ring tourists."

"Then we'll jump over to Egypt."

"Sounds great."

"…You do know that the paparazzi are going to stalk you anyways," Cyborg pointed out.

Robin and Raven shared another glance. Raven raised an eyebrow. "Well, in that case, what do you think?"

"Let's see. One: we stay here and get blinded by Jump City cameras. Two: we run for the border and deal with paparazzi on motorcycles. Hmm. It looks like there's just one choice." A slow grin came across Robin's face. He leaned in closer. "We'll just have to give 'em a show."

And with that, Robin kissed Raven.

If life were a movie, and this were a particular chick-flick movie, at this moment there would undoubtedly be some sort of revolving camera and dramatic weather, be it wind, rain, or tornado as the two heroes kissed their undying love for each other (TM). That being said, there was none of that as Robin and Raven kissed, although Cyborg whooped, Starfire beamed, and Beast Boy cheered and whipped out a Polaroid camera (this to be destroyed five minutes later).

Did it make sense? No. Did they care? Not really. Screw sensibility. They were in love, for whatever reason, and neither paparazzi nor crazy family members were going to change that.

(Besides, the two of them were really good kissers.)

The chick-flick movie, now confirmed and agreed upon, resumed its regular showing.

Raven smirked as she pushed Robin off. Robin winked, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. Raven poked Robin in the chest. "Sure, we'll give them a lot of material that way, Bird Boy."

"A-ha! So you do read The Jump Star!" Beast Boy pointed.

Raven rolled her eyes. "I don't need to. I can just imagine it."

Robin nodded. "Mhmmm. Complete with detailed statistics on how long we're going to last. And editorials. And polls."

"I'm betting that somewhere there's going to be an option for 'They're going to break up in two days, I swear' and 'Tru luv 4evar.' " Raven emphasized with making air quotes with her fingers. "This is going to be a media and debate subject in some form or another for like a year."

"Then we'd better give them a lot of material."

"Absolutely."

"Definitely."

The sarcasm could be cut with a butter knife. Or so Starfire believed; she was still not quite sure on every single analogy in the English language. Starfire looked back and forth at the two. "…Then does this mean you will not be married here and instead be wedded in…Egypt?"

Robin laughed. "No, Star…we're just playing with you. We're not going to elope."

"Mostly," Raven added in all seriousness.

"…We really just want to avoid the media hype." Robin ran his hand through his hair. "I mean, I know we can't avoid it, but…like we've said, we just want a small and private little wedding. Besides, either way it's going to be broadcasted nationally anyway," Robin ended with a wry smile on his face.

"Not to mention I hate performing in front of strangers." Raven added.

"…But you do not mind your friends attending?" Starfire clarified. She paused for a moment, and then the proverbial lightbulb went off (the fiancés on the sofa were beginning to fear that little light-emitting device). "Oh! Then we must invite the honorary titans! And the Justice League!"

Beast Boy waved his arms. "Oh yeah, dude! We can't forget about them! Batman's like our dad or uncle or…whatever— And dude! We can't forget Kid Flash!"

"Heeeey! We could get Bumblebee and Argent to wave signs up in the sky!" Cyborg added. "And, of course, we can't forget the Toddler Trio…they absolutely adore Raven…"

Raven glanced aside at Robin as their three well-meaning friends. "I don't mind the kids, but this is getting ridiculous."

"…Perhaps you're right. Eloping sounds even better than ever."