When you hear people talk about The Lone Wanderer, you'd hear different stories. Some of those stories would be true, if not exaggerated. Some stories painted The Lone Wanderer as the wrath of God in human form. However, the common thread in those stories was that The Lone Wanderer had an unbreakable mental fortitude.
However, since I am The Lone Wanderer, I can tell you that's not quite the truth.
The thing about me is, once I'm focused on something, everything else is out of sight, out of mind. It's usually a good trait to have. It helped me get a lot of things done, after all. However, because I was so focused on The Enclave, especially after what happened to my father, I didn't realize I had some underlying issues that needed dealing with.
That was, until I went to Point Lookout.
Once I was back to the Capital Wasteland, I was a mess – more of a mess than after the death of my father. I went straight home, leaving a trail of bodies in my wake. I usually let raiders flee whenever they wised up to who they were dealing with, but I wasn't in my right mind. By the time I reached Megaton, I figured that I had another 50 to my kill count.
Not that my kill count was something I was proud of. I'd much rather talk my way out of things than have to pull the trigger.
Once I reached Megaton, I went straight to my house, but only briefly to drop off the sack of Punga Fruit I gathered up. After that, I went straight to Moriarty's Saloon. I needed to drink. That proved to be a mistake. Gob and Nova was always great people to be around, and Lucy West decided to stop by, which made things even better. We spent the time talking and joking around about past happenings and other stuff. It was a good time, and I almost forgot about what happened to me at Point Lookout.
But then Moriarty had to come on down and be… Moriarty. Lucy left almost immediately, and I should have followed suit. But, I wanted to finish my scotch. However, I didn't get a chance to finish it.
See, Moriarty had a thing for gathering information on people, hoping to use it as blackmail material down the line. I knew this because I hacked his terminal. I still do it every now and again. Anyway, he also liked pressing peoples' buttons. So, of course, he talked about Moira. It irked me a little bit, but I still kept on sipping on my scotch as Nova tried her best to get him to leave me alone. It wasn't like it was a secret that Moira and I were close.
But then he said, in a suggestive tone, that he'd pay "the loon" a visit.
Next thing I knew, I had the side of Moriarty's head pinned against the top of the bar counter as I pressed the barrel of my .44 against his temple.
"Say that again, you little weasel!" I growled out. "Say that again!"
"Denzel, don't do it!" Nova said as she rushed to my side. "It's not worth it!"
"You might want to listen to the lass," Moriarty said. "We both know you're too goody-goody to pull the trigger. So how about you put the gun away, and I won't tell the town about how you tried to kill me. Fair?" In response, I pushed the hammer forward before I re-cocked the pistol, using the sound of it to tell him how I felt about that proposition. I watched him as he visibly gulped.
"Denzel, I get it," Nova said. "Moriarty's an asshole. But this isn't you, kid." She moved in closer before she in closed and gently grabbed hold of my arm. She then gently pulled, trying to urge me to put the gun away. "Just go home, kid." I looked at Nova, then back down at Moriarty. I then took in a breath as I pulled my gun away and holstered it. I backed away, keeping my eyes on Moriarty as I did so.
"I ain't the one, Moriarty," I said. "You best remember that." With that, I turned and walked out.
I didn't sleep well that night. I still had nightmares about what happened to me at Point Lookout. By the time morning rolled around, I was a mess and a half. Normally, I'd be okay with just a little bit of rest. But, for some reason, I was feeling rather lethargic. As I sat up in my bed, too restless to sleep but too tired to function without exerting more effort than I usually need, I looked around my room until I remembered the Punga fruit I brought with me. So, picking up the sack, I shouldered it before heading over to The Craterside Supply.
As expected, Moira greeted me like she always did – in a cheery manner befitting of someone who just reconnected with an old friend. After telling her about the Punga fruit, she gladly took the sack. We spent all morning starting research on the fruit, seeing what we could do to breed the plant so it could grow in the Capital Wasteland. Because I was so focused on the research – and the fact that I was in Moira's company, I instantly felt better from yesterday.
However, it didn't stay that way.
Moira was… well, she was Moira. If she understood the concept of sarcasm, it was a mystery to me. But, she was a lot more observant than a lot of people gave her credit for. So, when she told her hired guard to wait outside the door until she came back for him, I had a feeling that she knew something was up. Once the door closed, her smile changed from the cheery one she usually kept on her face to a smaller one she put on whenever she was genuinely concerned.
"So," she said in a low tone. "What's eating you?"
On instinct, I tried to smile for the sake of putting on a front. But my lips barely moved as I took in a breath. Moira looked at me pointedly before she walked past me slowly. I kept my eyes on her as she slowly walked up the stairs. Realizing that she wanted me to follow her, I did just that. I gripped the railing as I ascended after her. Once we were on the second floor, I followed her to the sofa. Once she took a seat, she patted the seat next to her. Slowly, I walked up to the sofa and sat next to her. I looked at Moira, who turned in her seat towards me, smile of concern still on her face.
"I left the Capital Wasteland for a bit," I said. "I was… looking for this woman's daughter. I did find her, and I did get her back to her mother. But, I found her in this place called Point Lookout." Moira shifted a bit. I knew she wanted to ask questions, but she kept quiet. "It was a hellhole. If I wasn't dealing with Mirelurks, Smugglers, and Ghouls, I had to deal with lobotomized tribals and inbred, irradiated swampfolks. But if that was all I had to deal with, I would have been okay.
"But… I had to investigate this cathedral. And, to do that, I had go on a bit of a quest through this swamp and grab seeds from the Mother Punga – apparently, the biggest source of the seeds for the plant. So, I grabbed the seeds. Or, at least, I tried to." I frowned. "Funny thing is, when you grab the seeds of the Mother Punga, it shoots out this pollen as a defense. So, I was knocked out. Apparently, this… this jerk Tobar…. He dragged me off and took a piece of my brain."
"…That's horrible!" Moira gasped out, smile completely gone as her eyes widened. The sight of her not smiling… it made my heart sink. I felt a lump in my throat. After swallowing, I continued.
"That wasn't the worst part, Moi'," I continued. "When I was out, I thought I woke up in the swamp. But… when I walked through it… things looked weird. Well, weirder than it was already. Invisible ghouls were charging me, but never attacked, Nuka-Cola Quantum bottles would fall and explode, but the explosions sounded like children, the land would flip upside down. But what got to me was… Well, first, there was these bobbleheads, bigger than the ones I find out in the Wasteland. Each one was like… Each one was shining a light on the problems I had on the inside, you know? Each one I'd find would have a message taunting me." I shook my head. "And it only got worse when I saw some bodies floating in the water. There was my dad's, Amata's, Simms'… yours…" I paused as swallowed again as I looked away, not wanting to see the expression on her face.
"Each time I reached out to you all, your bodies would disappear. And near all that was a bobblehead. 'Isn't it funny how everyone you get close to ends up leaving?', it said."
"Do you believe that?" Moira asked. I slowly turned my head towards Moira, reluctantly making eye contact. That smile of concern was back on her face. I shook my head again.
"I… I have those thoughts," I said. "Those thoughts are always been in the back of mind, and they come forward on different occasions, from the times I struggle with fighting off a Super Mutant with a Super Sledge, to every booby trap I'd set off, to all the times I barely survived when I'm out in the Wasteland… I've been that way since I left the vault. I lost my mom mere moments after I emerged from her womb. I lost my dad. I lost friends close to me, whether due to death or being unable to see them again like Amata. I'm afraid of being alone, yet I'm afraid of getting close to people because I'm afraid of losing them."
I didn't realize how hard I had my fists clench until I heard the sound of them cracking. I looked down at them before I slowly unraveled them. I took in a deep breath before I spoke again.
"That's not all of it," I added with a whisper. "But, that's a lot of it."
After that, there was silence. It wasn't a comfortable silence. I was about to stand up and walk away, but then I felt Moira's hands on my cheeks. Without resistance, I allowed her to turn my head until I was facing her.
"Do you trust me, Sweetie?" she asked. The smile was gone from her face.
"I do," I said.
"I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes." She smiled slightly. "As it is, it's a scary place even if you're trying to survive. So I can hardly imagine what it's like for someone with your burdens. But, what happened to people that you lost… I know it wasn't your fault. I don't know all the circumstances. But I know you enough to know that you did the best you could for them." Her smile became a bit wider.
"Also, Sweetie, you may be The Lone Wanderer, but you're not alone out there. I'm here. And you won't lose me."
I didn't say anything in response. I just smiled. It wasn't exactly my happiest looking smile. I didn't even know if the smile looked happy at all. But I really did appreciate those words. Moira moved her hands before she pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight. After a long embrace, I pulled away from her just enough until we were almost nose to nose. I felt my heartbeat rise – not in the way that it would when I heard a noise near me when I'm out in the wastes. No… it was as if I was being pulled. As I looked Moira in the eyes, her smile faded away again. This time, my heard didn't. On the contrary, it just raised my heartrate even more. During that time, it seemed as if my senses were focused entirely on her, because everything in the room except for us seemingly disappeared.
Slowly, I leaned forward until the tips of our nose touched. I remained there for a brief moment, seeing if she would pull away. She didn't. So I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers. Much to my relief, she reciprocated the gesture. As we kissed, I felt her hand on my left cheek. It took us a few moments to find a rhythm – I never kissed anyone before, and I was pretty sure it had been a while since Moira kissed anyone. But once we did, we both leaned into the couch. I didn't know how long the kiss lasted – it seemed like a while. Unfortunately, we were forced to end it because it didn't occur to me to, you know, breathe during the whole thing.
I pulled away a bit, resting my forehead against hers. After taking time to fix my breathing, I smiled slightly.
"I love you, Moi," I whispered out.
"I love you, too, Denzel."
About ten minutes later, I stepped out of the door, adding a key to my keyring. After putting the keys away on my person, I turned towards the mercenary.
"I think you're good to go back in," I said with smile.
"She must have had another experiment cooked up," he said with a chuckle as he moved to the door. "Moira is really something."
My smile became a wider as I raised my eyebrows briefly. "That she is." After that, I turned and went home, making a mental note to ask Simms if he could provide a spare key to my home for Moira.