One Month:
Nervousness and disarray were beginning to grow and form inside of her as she stood sideways, looking intently at her slim figure in her full-length mirror. She patted down a few crinkles in her dress and twisted her hips to see what she looked like from several different angles. She made a small considerate hum in the back of her throat and smiled slightly as she carefully scanned her appearance. The dress she wore so perfectly was a deep indigo colour, and it reached just below her knee. It was tucked in slightly around her waist, helped by the thin belt tied around the middle of her figure. On her feet, she wore stylish, yet demure and suitable three inch black heels. Her hair had been washed and dyed a chic shade of honeysuckle blonde that was not so different from her normal colour. Her make-up was refreshing and subtle, with pale violet eye shadow, light pink blusher and a lavish lashing of black mascara over her greying eyelashes. Altogether, looking from an outsider's point of view, she looked simply ravishing. However, although she realized that she looked okay, Karen did not really believe that she looked so amazing. Average, alright, but she didn't have the sparkle that she used to have years ago when she last went on a date. But it would do; she had tried and she was pretty sure that he would appreciate her effort. She gazed again the mirror. She wasn't vain, but this was a completely different situation and she wanted to attempt to look her very best.
Jess glanced through the door of her mother's bedroom and smiled proudly and widely. Her mum looked absolutely radiant, and Jess was so glad that she was finally happy once more; it was the first time Karen had been properly joyful since the truth about her stupid dad's infidelity had come out last year. Jess was also becoming fonder of Rob with every passing day: the way he made Karen feel so special and appreciated all the time, every second of every day. He had even managed to pick her up after she lost her job. Jess remembered the horrifying day when she had come home to find her mother lying down on the sofa, crying her eyes out. She had, of course, tried to comfort her, but to no avail, so she had rang Rob. He turned up within fifteen minutes and all he had done was go into the living room, hold Karen in his arms and gently whisper to her about how amazing she was. He had kissed her softly and they had stayed in that position for almost the whole evening. Jess' hand found the pronounced bump on her stomach and she smiled even more broadly than before. Her baby was due in less than seven weeks, and as terrified and scared as she was about becoming a mother at such a young age, she was so looking forward to it.
Jess entered her mum's room and came up and hugged her from behind. 'Mum, you look amazing,' she murmured happily, resting her head. Karen turned around and properly hugged her heavily pregnant and rather tired looking daughter and stroked her hair comfortingly,
'Thanks sweetheart,' she said, grinning widely and feeling a lot better. Jess suddenly detached herself from her mum's comforting grip and went and fetched a pair of scissors. Karen looked confused when she came back into the room, but Jess beamed knowingly, turned her mum around and cut the tag out of her dress, 'You don't wanna go out on a date with the label still in!' she cried joyfully, staring down at the label. An expression of shock crossed her features, 'Jeez, how much did you pay for this mum? I know you like him and all, but two hundred and forty five quid?' She stared at her mother in admonishment, but laughed at Karen's blushing. Karen quickly placed a hand on her stomach as she turned to analyse herself again, but it was only for the most fleeting second. 'So,' Jess began, leaning on Karen's chest of drawers, a hand rested on her stomach, 'Are you going to tell him tonight?' she asked concernedly, a worried look on her pretty face. Karen turned around, a sudden expression of depression and unhappiness on her gorgeously painted face. 'I have to,' she murmured. Jess nodded in agreement and jumped slightly when the doorbell rang shrilly through the house. She squeezed her mum's hand tightly before Karen smiled appreciatively and descended carefully down the stairs. She quickly pulled the front door open and smiled broadly, barely able to contain her joy at seeing him.
Rob stood in her doorway, leaning on the red brickwork of her house, a bunch of white roses in his outstretched hand,
'Evening beautiful.' He was wearing a pair of dark denim jeans and a dark blue shirt. She giggled unashamedly and closed the front door behind her, after having quickly smelt the roses, inhaling the gorgeous scent and left them in the permanent vase by her front door ever since they started dating. They walked down the street together, laughing and chatting amiably about their day. After a few minutes of walking, he trawled his hand across in the air and gently entwined his fingers with hers. She did not look directly at him, but smiled down at the ground, and continued talking. She felt so loved when she was within his grasp, but she wondered just how long she would be able to do this for. What she was about to tell him would change everything; for better or for worse. So she would kiss him now, love him now, tell him…later. She grasped his hand a tiny bit tighter and kept hold of it until they reached the restaurant when he turned to her and said, 'You look stunning,' and kissed her on the lips. Since their very first date, Karen and Rob had both realized that kissing in public wasn't as embarrassing as it was made out to be. And so they did – a lot. She wasn't the headmistress anymore, there was no prejudice involved anymore, and no one cared about their differences in "class". She left his lips a second before he planned to, but kept her face right next to his so she could feel his breath on her lips, which tickled her slightly.
He held her waist and she, laughing all the while, replied with, 'You don't look so bad yourself Mister Handsome.' He winked roughly and then, holding her hand, led her inside. They sat down at their regular table, the one that they had sat at every time they had been here since their first date, the time of their first kiss. They gripped hands on the table as usual, resting them gently on the patterned table cloth, and Rob called over to the waitress, 'We'll have a bottle of red wine please.' The waitress quickly scribbled this down, nodded her head, and went to leave to process the order and before she could totter off in her stilettos, Karen quickly piped up, 'Excuse me, but I'll just have a glass of water please.' Rob raised an eyebrow questioningly, but did not hasten to ask any questions about her refusal to alcohol.
The drinks arrived, the food was ordered soon afterwards, although Karen shied away from seafood and shellfish – they just made her feel a bit sick. 'You know what I love about this place?' Rob asked suddenly, smiling deeply, happiness blurring away in his glimmering blue eyes. She felt awful, how long would it be before that smile was gone, the lights in his eyes just switched off? Karen shook her head truthfully, swallowed a large bite of lasagne and mumbled out, 'No, what?' She was not so on the ball this evening, distracted almost, he thought, recognizing it straight away, but she looked absolutely fantastic, and he still hadn't found the time to tell her properly, 'This was the place when we had our very first kiss,' he said, in a kind of sing-song tone, stroking her hands, encompassing them within her own. She looked up from the remains of her food, and her eyes twinkled in the small light emanating from the flickering candle in the centre of the table.
'You look so beautiful,' he muttered to her, and although the light was small, he saw a blush creeping up her neck. Oh, she would really like to kiss him right here, right now. But there was something stewing maliciously in the back of her head, something awful, a horrifying secret lurking that she had to let loose. It was the one thing that had restricted her smiles this night, and prevented her from letting all her love flow through to him. She had a barrier in her brain, and everything just had to halt violently. She had to tell him. But she had to ask him first, she couldn't tell him and anticipate his response and just make him stay, but she could ask him first. She would ask him. Otherwise all this, all their love, was just going to circle and fall down the drain.
Oblivious to what she was about to enquire, Karen took an extremely deep breath and quickly interrupted his talk and boldly asked, 'Rob, do you love me?'
He stopped, mid word, and hung his mouth open like a bemused goldfish, and no words fell from his mouth. A billion thoughts rushed and raced and ran manically and wildly through his mind, and a whirlwind torrent of love, romance, angst and trust pounded mercilessly around. What could he say to that? He did love her, of course he loved her, but they had been together just four months and he felt very deeply for her, he cherished every second he was with her, but he couldn't ruin it now. He had done this before, admitted true feelings before the time was due, and this was all happening too fast. He wanted to take it slowly with Karen. She was so amazing, and he wanted and prayed for his to last. They were both at the same place, but he didn't want to ruin everything that they had.
But as these thoughts, these incredibly confusing and reasoning thoughts whirred around in his head, he had failed to notice that he had gone off into a kind of trance where he had been staring at her in incredulity quite unnervingly. He snapped out of it immediately and calmly murmured, 'Love is a big word Karen, and I don't know if I can…'
'Forget it,' she whispered quickly, trying to laugh it off, wiping away small tears that had formed. She tried to continue on with her dinner, but after a few minutes, she stood up, quickly grabbed her slimming white jacket and fled from the restaurant, tears flinging from her face. She had got the complete wrong impression he suddenly realized as he slammed a fifty down on the table and ran out after her. He caught up with her when she was halfway down the alley leading out towards her home.
'Karen!' he called loudly, sprinting almost to try and catch up with her disappearing figure, 'Karen, please wait, please!' To his intense relief, she slowed and stopped, leaning and slumping desperately against the wall. The night was edging and creeping in, shades of black and midnight blue spreading across the sky. Dark rain clouds were appearing and tiny little drops of rain were beginning to splash and dribble down from the sky, colliding coldly against her skin. Her mascara was starting to run, not just from the rain, but from her own, warm tears.
When he reached her hopeless and shivering form, he pulled her into a large hug, and although she tried to protest, pounding her fists against his chest, she finally gave in and collapsed in his arms, sobbing weakly all the while. He brushed a piece of hair from her face, held both his hands against her cold cheeks, and whispered, 'Karen what's wrong?'
'This won't work if,' she began to say, sniffing back awful tears falling from her crystal blue eyes, 'If you don't…' she trailed off, unable to continue, her voice just running out. He smiled at her, and clutched her even closer to him. 'Karen, of course I love you,' he whispered in her ear, not speaking a word of a lie, 'I love you. I love you. I love you. So much.'
She looked up at him, disbelief splattered all over her face like paint randomly splashed onto a wall, 'Do you mean it?' she asked nervously, her voice still quivering and shaking with fear. Resting his forehead against hers, he leaned his lips in towards hers and murmured, 'I've loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you. And I love you more and more every day.' He leaned in towards her even closer and tentatively pressed his lips to hers. It was a small, chaste kiss, not to overpower, not filled with passion, just his way of letting her know that he meant everything that he had just said, 'Now, what's brought all this on you silly girl?' he asked her seriously, wiping away the collaboration of tears and rain from her face, holding her firmly by the shoulders. She looked him directly in the eyes, and he saw fear. And this fear was purer and more real than what she was like on the day of the inspection, when she had found out she was being replaced, and he wanted to love her so much just to wipe that horrible fear from her face – it didn't suit her.
He gripped her hand as she trembled not only from the ever growing cold. 'I had to be sure before I told you,' she began, stuttering slightly, 'I didn't want to force anything on you and then watch you freak out over it…'
'Karen, what the hell is going on?' he asked loudly, interrupting her evident stalling. She glanced up at him again, tears rolling down her face, 'Rob, I'm pregnant.'
The look on his face, in the split second that he heard exactly what she said, was almost indescribable. Shock, sheer shock, utterly and indescribably shocked – to the core of his very existence.
'Is it mine?' he breathed, his voice higher and squeakier than before. She nodded furiously, 'Of course it is, of course it is.' No words are spoken. This will change their lives forever. This is such a big thing that he hardly believes it. Maybe he'll wake up in a minute, and she will be lying next to him and he will be able to kiss her fingers and temple and forehead without any complications. But he is here, and this is real. He can feel the rain strolling down his face and dripping from the end of his nose. But he is smiling. He is not sure exactly why, but his brain soon catches up with his heart and he says to her,
'A kid…wow.' It's all he can manage and muster at the moment, but she appreciates this. She goes to leave once more, the cold beginning to make her feel the slightest bit fragile and ill, but he holds onto her and holds her, 'Hopefully this one will be less of a troublemaker than the other one,' he whispered in her ear, to her utmost delight. She looks at him, such love in her expression, and she quietly murmured, 'Are you sure Rob?'
'Did you really think I would leave you? Is this why you were asking? I do love you, and the baby. We're all in this together now.' He placed a hand awkwardly on her flat stomach, and she holds his other loose hand which she is not surprised to find trembling.
'Are we going to be able to cope Rob?' she asked, tears building in her voice, trailing down her face and splashing against the pavement, adding to the pitter patter of the rain. He hugged her once more, 'Of course we can. I'm here, you're here, and I love can do this together, you beautiful woman.' He looked down at her and traced a smile across her lips with his thumb. She quickly curved her mouth to fit in with his pattern and it became broader than he could ever imagine when he came out with, 'You've got a nice smile, you know. Good to see it back again.'
Seven Months Later…
'Honey, I'm home!' Rob yelled cornily up the stairs of his house as he wrenched the front door open and slipped out of his drenched and soaked through shoes and jacket. He had recently developed this irritating habit of randomly coming out with really cheesy lines from old films, and would just drop them into a conversation every now and then. He wiped his feet on the welcome mat and then headed to the kitchen to try and find Karen. When he had first discovered she was pregnant, his first thought had been for them to move in together. So, after a lot of consideration, he had given Aiden and Jess, and little baby Carla his house and moved in with Karen and Harry, like a proper family. Harry didn't mind in the slightest, in fact he really like Rob. Within the first few weeks, Rob had taken him fishing, to the cinema and all sorts. He wasn't trying to be Charlie, and he wasn't trying to replace him as a father figure, he just wanted everyone to get along. Rob quickly glanced around the pristine kitchen and looked momentarily confused when he could, initially, not find her. Normally when he got home from work, she could be in the kitchen and he would jump up and scare her and then they would kiss and talk about their days; it was all very homely and perfect. It was all so perfect. But where was she today? The storm increased in tempo outside, and a clap of thunder roared outside and a flash of lightning sizzled across the sky, colliding loudly with a nearby building. A thought bumped into his head, like a brick against a window. Of course, he thought worriedly, beginning to run up the stairs to their bedroom, poor Karen was absolutely terrified of thunderstorms. He burst through the door of their bedroom and, as predicted, there she was, huddled underneath the many thick blankets and quilts draped over their bed, tears falling freely from her face, her bottom lip quivering in fright.
'Oh, Karen,' he breathed out, climbing into the bed with her and holding her expanding form in his lap. She turned her head to his chest and the sides of his shirt with two clenched fists. She choked on her tears and he lied down next to her, holding her as close as possible. He wrapped an arm around her and held her hand with the other. He shushed her soothingly, humming a soft lullaby until she had calmed down and stopped hyperventilating. He got up and quickly drew the curtains to shade away the storm and returned to the bed. He took all the quilts off, so it was just the four pillows and them, and sat up against the backboard and held her on his lap. As they sat, he wrapped his arms around her waist and placed two hands on her extruding stomach.
'Are you okay beautiful?' he asked lovingly, murmuring encouragingly. She turned to face him, heaving her body with her. Her mascara was running all over her face and was smudged left, right and centre. 'Yeah,' she whispered, 'it's just, I hate…'
'Thunderstorms,' he said, completing her sentence for her, 'I know. If you were so scared you should've rung me and I would've come home,' he whispered. She nodded and shifted in his lap, resting both of her hands on top of his on her stomach. 'The baby's been kicking all through the storm. I don't think they liked it either,' Karen mumbled sadly. Rob smiled and allowed her to divert his hands to the place where it was kicking. Rob beamed in amazement as he felt tiny little kicks emanating from inside, 'Just nine weeks to go,' he muttered callously, 'And you still look amazing.'
'No need to sound so surprised,' she muttered to herself, but he just laughed.
'I love you beautiful,' he said in her ear and leant down and kissed her lips, 'and stop kicking your mother, give her a break,' he muttered sweetly to her stomach.