Nein, I'm not dead. I just took a break from writing because I broke my hand. Its still in a cast but I can type with it now.
Dear Diary,
Okay, this isn't what you think it is. You're a journal, alright? Not a diary. I told Maka to get a journal but no, she had to get a diary! Fucking hell. Gah, rambling aren't I? Maybe I should introduce myself to you since we'll be getting to know each other a lot better than I really want to. My name is Soul 'Eater' Evans. I live with my best friend Maka Albarn. She pays rent and cooks food for me. Shi- I... I gotta go to the hospital... I'll write sometime soon.
Dear Diary,
(A/N I purposely made mistakes... Damn autocorrect went haywire.) YAHOO! MY NEYM IS BLAK STAR! IMA SURPASS GOD DAMIT! HAHA! LOL Lemme start fom the begning, my neym is Blak Star, Im 16! Idk how to spel tht so fuck yall! Whoeva yall r tht is. Heh, ths is funn! Subakey sed I had to cunfyde in sum1 soh I bot u! Enywey, I gtg, Subakey is making dinnerr LATERRR!
Dear Diary,
You are so beautiful! So... So symmetrical! I love you dearly! I will forever treasure you, my friend. I need exactly eighty-eight words per page though, or else you won't be perfect. I should probably let you know my name. My name is Death the Kid, Kid for short. I have two delinquents living with me, their names are Liz and Patty Thompson. Maybe I don't need exactly eighty-eight on this page since its only the first one and I want you to know a bunch about me. For starters, I am the son of Lord Death, he's the mayor of Death City, Nevada. I live in a really large house that is completely symmetrical. Except for Liz and Patty. They don't have the same three sizes nor are they the same height. Patty has bigger boobs, Liz is taller. Did I mention that Patty has an obsession for giraffes? I figured I didn't since I haven't read over what I've wrote yet. I know this is out of the ordinary but I get the feeling that someone is reading what I wrote before now. I think they'll probably read the rest of this too. Either way, its probably not true. Maybe Liz spiked my drink. I can't tell right now because everything is fuzzy, including what I'm writing right now. Did you know that wrinkles can be symmetrical? I'm looking at my shirt and its all wrinkly. This pencil is all slimy, did I drop it in something? Or maybe its just me. Someone spiked my drink. I think it was Patty... Or was it Liz? I don't know, but maybe I should go lay down. My head is pounding and Liz, or Patty(I can't really tell), is yelling my name while the other is laughing really loudly. I'll write later. Good-bye.
Dear Diary,
Stupid Soul, always thinking he can write what he wants without me seeing it. I bought the diary for him! Doesn't that imply that I can read whatever he writes? No? I DON'T CARE! I'm Maka Albarn, just so you know. I love to read. I don't exactly know what my favorite book is, I love them all. I also have a crush on someone... That someone happens to be Kid. He's really sweet, he doesn't make fun of my small, perky breasts, he loves reading just as much as I do, he has an obsession for symmetry which really turns me on, he has a really cute personality, he's cute, and a whole bunch of other things. The other day it was raining as we were heading home and I accidentally forgot my umbrella at school so Kid walked me home using his umbrella to sheild us just so I didn't get wet. I don't know but I think thats a sign meaning that he likes me. I've tried so many times to get him to notice me but he just doesn't seem to notice them. Like, this morning. I kept flirting with him and he didn't flirt back. I'm going to keep trying until he realizes that I like him. I have a whole bunch of pictures of him too... They surround my room. I especially love the one that I took when I snuck into his house and stole his first kiss... He never even noticed! I even made sure it wasn't symmetrical... I'll have to do it again tonight. Two weeks ago, during school, I pretended to fall and landed in his lap. The look on his face was priceless, he was blushing and stuttering. Totally sexy. I Maka-chopped Soul so now he has a bloodstain in his diary. I hope it soaks through all of the pages, that'll show him. I have to go, its time to make dinner and Soul still hasn't woken up. Maybe I should call nine-one-one.
Deary Diary,
(A/N Again, mistakes are on purpose.) I wannah bai a giraf! Hiz neym will bee mikal! Ohhhh hello there! Mai neym is Pattie! Pattie Tomson. I hav a sizter! Her neym is Liz Tomson. She wont let mee git a giraf! Kiddo wont either. Fuk dem. Ill bai 1 enywey! Liz saiz i need to lern to spel. im 4teen! I no how to spel! Liz wants mee to help wih dinnerr but i dun wanna. do u thnk i should? who cares! Im gonna go bai mai giraf now. biiii dirii!
Dear Diary,
My sister is off on another excursion. She said she wants a pet giraffe. Sad thing, I really think she's going to come back with an actual giraffe named Michael. Oh God, I was right. She just got home... And what do you know, she has a baby giraffe with her. Kid's currently in bed with a major hang over because I spiked his drink. Did you know that he can't hold is alchohol? I didn't until now. Haha. Anyway, I should probably go and sedate my sister then take the giraffe back to the zoo. Latez, Dia-chan.
Dear Diary,
Hello, my name is Tsubaki Nakatsukasa. I live with my friend and partner in combat, Black Star. A few days ago, I told Black Star to confide in someone, that someone being me but instead he buys a diary, like you, and starts writing in it. He can't even spell! I suppose I should teach him how to. Good grief. Oh goodness, that sounded like someone from that show with Snoopie. Ah well, I don't really care. I should probably tell you a little about myself, let you get to know me. I'm a female, around 5'6", I have dark purple hair, my eyes match too. Black Star keeps peeking whenever I take a shower or a bath so apparently I have big breasts too. Oh geez, excuse the blood stain. I accidentally had a vision of a certain someone naked... Excuse this one too. I should go before you get covered in blood. Ta-ta.
Dear Diary,
H-Hello. I... I know I'm writing so I-I don't really need to stutter bu-but I can't help it. My name is K-Kurona Gorgon, I'm a female, I have pink uneven hair, my eyes are an ocean blue though sometimes people say they're a green color. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't. I really don't know because I'm afraid to look in a mirror. Maybe you should tell me about yourself... I'd really like to know what you have to say. (A/N This part is where you can leave a review with what the diary might say to Kurona.) Oh thats really cool. You're really fun to talk too, I should write in you a lot more. Maybe then I'll finally have someone to talk to about my problems in school and when Ragnarok is beating on me. It should really be fun to talk with you... I just said that, didn't I? I'm going to go, Ragnarok says that if I don't he will burn you then he'll punch the shit out of me. I'm not lying either! He really said that! NO! Excuse the burn, I should go.
Ran: Well, its just a random thing I decided upon.
Everyone: WHAT THE HELL?
Ran: What?