Jake glared warily at Dirk as the blondie approached him. To the untrained eye, Dirk had about three facial expressions: calm, cool, and aloof. But to someone who had known him for the length of time that Jake had, there were small things he did that almost allowed a glimpse at what he was thinking. And Jake could most definitely see that Kirk was hatching a plot behind those dark shades.
"Hey, Strider. What's up?" he said, trying to sound like he wasn't currently suspicious of every move Dirk was making.
Dirk sat across from Jake, crossing his legs. Still not saying anything, he extracted what appeared to be a game box from his sylladex. He tilted it toward Jake, revealing it to be a chess set. "We haven't played in awhile. Thought it was high time we got some intense chess going."
Jake suppressed a groan. "Must we really?" he protested. "You know you always beat me." Dirk cracked a smile as he set up the board. The two had played internet chess every once in awhile before they had met face-to-face, and, in the back of his mind, Jake had dreaded a real-life match. It was one thing to see the words "you lose" written on a screen, and quite another to see it written across Strider's smug face. Okay, his face wasn't smug, but even so.
"If you spent as much time practicing this as you do fighting the brobot, you might be able to at least lose a little less spectacularly," Dirk pointed out, a little teasingly. Jake rolled his eyes. He was and adventurer, not a chess player! Dirk raised an eyebrow as he laid out the last of the pieces. "Maybe we should make this game a bit more interesting, to motivate you."
Jake's ears perked up. "What, you mean like a wager on who'll win?" He snorted. "That's a bit underhanded, don't you think, Strider? You'll win."
"Well, that's not exactly what I meant," Dirk said slowly. He picked up one of his black pawns, examining it lazily. "I was thinking something more along the lines of, well…strip chess."
Jake's eyes nearly bugged through his glasses. "How in the devil-loving dickens would we even do that?" he spluttered. "The very phrase 'strip chess' sounds ridiculous!"
Dirk leaned back, lifting a hand to calm Jake down. "It would really be kind of simple," he explained. "Whenever one of us loses a piece, that person strips off an article of clothing."
Jake made a face, quickly counting the pieces on the board. Seeing his friend's indecision, Dirk leaned across the board. Keeping his eyes on Jake, he knocked the white king over. "Plus, whoever wins gets to decide what we do next." He withdrew, assuming his previous cool position and leaving Jake rather frozen. He smirked, adding, "Come on, be adventurous, bro."
Jake never turned down an opportunity to be 'adventurous'. "You're on!" Dirk nodded at the board, the challenging smirk still on his face.
"White goes first, English," he reminded him. Jake returned Dirk's smile confidently and made his first move.
His smile quickly faded as Dirk made the first capture. Dirk waved his hand in a "get on with it" motion. Defiantly, Jake kicked off his shoes. Dirk frowned.
"Dork," he accused. Jake just shrugged. Soon, however, Jake was forced out of his socks, jacket, and glasses. He frowned, squinting slightly at the white pieces Strider had captured, and the significant lack of black pieces on his side. Sighing, he made a tactically idiotic move just to capture a piece once.
Without a word, Dirk stripped off his blue jeans and tossed them aside. Jake coughed a little in surprise.
"Going straight for the trousers, eh, Strider?" he said, trying to keep the nerves out of his voice. Dirk shrugged.
"Gotta start somewhere. And, unlike you, I started this game barefoot."
Jake glanced at Dirk's feet, and sure enough, they were already free of oppression by clothing. He tried to bring his gaze up to Dirk's again, but instead found his eyes sliding up the lines of Dirk's legs. Somehow, even after living under the Texan sun his whole life, Dirk's skin was pale and smooth. Jake knew those legs, which looked a little thin and weak, were actually strong enough to kick any opponent through the wall if need be.
Of course, the pleasure of seeing Strider's legs came at a price. Jake almost winced when he looked at the board; his dumb move seemed to have left his knight open to attack by Dirk's bishop. He was trying not to think about how he had kind of run out of extraneous articles of clothing when Dirk made his move.
Jake blinked a few times. Surely this was a mistake. If Jake had seen the line of attack, so had Dirk. But instead of making the obvious move, Dirk had mobilized his queen…right into the perfect position to be overtaken by one of Jake's pawns.
Jake frowned. "Strider, I won't have you go easy on me now!" he said angrily. He pointed at the board. "What kind of a move is that? Honestly!"
Dirk shrugged, a smile playing at his lips. "No, man, I'm not going easy on you," he insisted. "I just want it to sting when I beat you even with some of my best pieces gone."
An angry flush rose in Jake's face, but he moved his pawn and knocked away Dirk's queen. He wasn't going to let pride get in the way of his chess campaign.
Dirk has the look on his face that told Jake he was laughing on the inside. Silently, he slipped out of his shirt, his hair and glasses magically remaining un-mussed. Suddenly Jake's red face had less to do with anger and a lot to do with something else. He was acutely aware of how little Dirk seemed to be wearing all of a sudden. He focused either on Dirk's glasses or his SBaHJ tattoo to keep his eyes from wandering…elsewhere.
Jake tried to blame distraction by Strider as Dirk captured his last pawn, then one of his rooks. His blush only grew deeper as he, in the most dignified manner possible, removed his shorts, then his shirt. He resolved to wallop Strider something good when they were done with this.
Almost lazily, Dirk overtook the white queen with his rook. He plucked her from the board and placed her among his growing prison yard. Then, like a smug little bastard, he put his elbows against his knees and propped his head up in his hands, watching Jake from behind his dark, dark shades.
Jake's eyes bugged perilously. He moved to tug at his collar uncomfortably, but there was no collar to tug at. Why had he agreed to this, again? He had known it would end up this way.
"Need help there, English?" Dirk said, cocking an eyebrow. Jake's face burned furiously. After a moment reserved for glaring at Dirk, Jake quickly shimmied out of his boxers.
Dirk's hardly hidden smirk was unbearable. And if Jake blushed any harder, his face would explode into an inferno of humiliation-induced flames.
"J-just shut up and make your move!" Jake shouted, averting his eyes. Dirk said nothing.
After a moment, Jake chanced a glance back at Dirk. He jumped nearly a foot in the air; Dirk's face was now mere inches from his, clear even to his near-sighted eyes.
"Whoa, Dirk-!" Jake exclaimed in surprise. "You startled me-"
Dirk's hand flashed up to Jake's face, capturing the adventurer's chin in a strong grip. Their lips crushed together clumsily. It seemed that Dirk really had made his move.
Almost violently, Dirk pushed Jake to the floor, his hair still somehow perfect. On an impulse, Jake buried his fingers in it, wanting to mess his hair up. Dirk lowered his body, pressing it against Jake's. Their lips found each other again, fighting for dominance. Dirk's hands, still gloved, ran down Jake's thigh, giving it a semi-gentle squeeze.
Dirk broke off from Jake's mouth and began covering his neck and shoulders in gentle bites and kisses. Jake opened his mouth and unthinkingly said, "What about our chess match?"
Dirk lifted his head to look disapprovingly at Jake. They glanced back at the board. It was askew, and pieces were scattered.
"Well, Jake, if you really want to finish the game, I think I could remember where the pieces were," Dirk said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Jake bit his lip.
"Uh, yeah, you're right…This is okay, too," he said lamely. He grinned a little dorkishly. "Who wins, then?"
Dirk rolled his eyes, then dipped down to press his lips again to Jake's neck. "Not even gonna dignify that with an answer," he murmured into his skin. His tongue brushed along Jake's tanned neck, eliciting shivers from him. "Yeah, that's me dissing that question. Dumb question just gonna shuffle away, it just got shamed so bad." His teeth sunk into Jake's collar, not enough to break the skin but enough to make Jake gasp. "But if I were to give that an answer, that answer would be, 'I win.'"