Overcome
By: Lady DeathAngel
Disclaimer: not mine, not profiting, 'nuff said.
Warnings: um, a pretty hot kiss, but other than that, nothing.
A/N: Ah! This is my first Teen Titans fic EVER! I am so excited. It's also in the second person, which is different. And it's Robin/Raven because I love them together. So, um, I'm nervous about how it turned out. It might be OC in places, I don't know. And it was a self-beta job that I'll have to improve on later. Anyway, please tell me what you think! Read, enjoy, and review.
You thought maybe it was wrong to love him. You were both so different and you were partners in a way, friends. It seemed wrong that you could possibly have fallen so hard for him. But fall you did, fast and without warning, and the minute you acknowledged it you knew how wrong it was, how impossible.
But that didn't stop you. Every day you loved him more, every time he laughed or smiled or fought with the kind of ferocity you found so attractive, you fell deeper. Every time he went out of his way to try and draw you out of your shell you ached, wishing it wasn't just his nature, that it meant something, that he loved you back.
How could he love you though? You, child of darkness, always alone, always awkward, not always perfect and happy and loving. Of course he would fall in love with Starfire and she loved him back and they were perfect for each other. The hero and the heroine. And you were happy for him even though it hurt. You were happy because he was happy and that was what you wanted, even if you wished that you made him happy, that you made him smile like that.
Time wore on and you stuck together, you five young heroes. And you grew a little more every day. You learned how to express your feelings and how to have friends. But you didn't ever figure out how to tell him you loved him more than anything. You didn't know how to show that would die for him, that you couldn't live without him, that you wanted him to be yours so badly it hurt. Besides, you wouldn't dare try to take him away from Starfire. You couldn't. A part of you wanted to, but you could never do that to her or to him. You simply remained as content as you could be, watching him be happy and wishing him well and loving him from afar.
And then the unthinkable happened. He found out. After a dangerous encounter with a crazy pair of telekinetic twins, one in which you and Robin were separated from the others, you slipped up. The whole thing happened to fast to follow. You were locked in a battle with one of the twins, a girl with long dark hair and a wicked smile. You were very well matched and she obviously thought you were a worthy opponent, but after going back and forth once or twice she got bored and she attacked Robin, who'd been racing to help you.
You saw red and your anger nearly consumed your thoughts, nearly caused you to lose control. But you didn't. Instead your reaction, your need to keep him safe, made you weak, and you took a hit harder than the one she threw at Robin. Later that night you found out that he managed to subdue her, but at the time you couldn't help but black out, her insane laughter ringing in your ears.
When you woke up, fingers were in your hair and running over your face. You almost shied away from the gentle caresses because no one touched you, ever. But a familiar and beloved voice was begging you to wake up, whispering your name over and over. After a long moment you forced your eyes open and you saw him staring down at you and you weren't thinking straight. You were probably concussed. You didn't care who saw, you didn't think twice about how you reacted. You reached up, anchored your arms around his neck, pressed your face into his chest and cried and whispered in a low voice "I love you." again and again.
He held you, rubbed your back, told you it was okay, and carried you to the last place you'd seen Beast Boy. Your friends had taken care of the other twin and the smiles they wore faded into odd looks when they saw you in his arms. You flushed, wondering how this must look to them, and said you had a concussion and that meant no walking or flying. They bought it, but later that night Beast Boy crept into your room.
"You should just tell him," he said quietly.
You looked up at him from where you'd been sitting quietly on your bed. He was standing in your doorway, soft light coming in from the hallway, shrouding him in a yellow-white light. You looked pointedly over his shoulder and he gave a small smile.
"They're all busy," he said. "And wanted me to come check up on you."
"Well, I'm fine."
But you weren't and he knew it. He took a few steps into your room and the door closed behind him. He made some comment about it being too dark but he made his way to a chair without tripping over anything.
"You really should do it," he said, not content to leave the subject be.
He never had been, though. Not since he'd guessed your secret ages ago. You'd always thought if anyone would figure it out, it'd be Cyborg. He payed attention to detail, noticed the little things, was pretty in tune to everyone and how they felt. But then, Beast Boy must have recognized it better than anyone else. He understood; after all, he'd fallen really hard for Terra and that entire debacle had torn him apart in too many ways for anyone to be able to make him whole again. He always said he didn't want for you to suffer like that.
"It isn't fun," was how he described it with a shrug.
But you didn't have any intention of following his advice. Instead you shook your head.
"What good would it do? He's with Star and I don't want to hurt her."
"I'm not saying you should steal him away," he said. "It might make you feel better, anyway."
But this wasn't about you. It never had been, not really. And you told Beast Boy that. He looked at you sympathetically before morphing into an adorable puppy and jumping into your lap. You wanted to smirk or smile, but just hugged him so tight he squeaked.
—(
You thought that maybe he'd forgotten all about it. Weeks passed and things went back to normal and you thought that he'd never mention it again. And he didn't, although he looked at you oddly and stared when he thought you wouldn't notice. But you did. You loved him, of course you noticed. And you didn't know what to make of it. In fact, you tried your hardest to ignore it. And then he and Starfire started drifting apart.
They'd been a couple for so long that their casual announcement that they were better off as friends threw you, Beast Boy, and Cyborg for a loop. It wasn't awkward for anyone but the three of you, though. They acted friendly, like they had before getting together, and through it all Cyborg and Beast Boy were trying to make sure they didn't say something wrong. And as for you . . . you didn't know if you were happy or not, and after a while you decided not to get your hopes up.
After all, if Starfire was nothing more than a good friend at the end of the day, what were you? He'd never seemed to regard you as anything other than a girl he fought crime with, a friend, nothing more. You felt certain you'd never been anything else in his eyes.
And then he started to get weird. He was always nice to you, worrying about you during battles, touching you whenever he had the chance, and you didn't know what to think about that . Well, that wasn't true. You were mad. How dare he? How dare he use you as some kind of, what were they called? Rebound girl, that was it. Obviously he remembered and he was using you to get to Starfire or salve his ego or whatever.
It all culminated in the one day that would change your life forever in a way that was much different from any other life-changing moment you'd experienced yet.
He was laughing about something with Beast Boy and Cyborg and all of a sudden he'd scooped you up into his arms. You dropped the book you'd been reading to squeal as his hands found their way under your armpits and you let out a long string of laughter before you could hold it back. Afterward there was a stunned silence before Starfire squealed.
"Raven!" she cried. 'It has been so long since your last laugh. The sound of it is very pretty and fills me with happiness. Please, laugh again for us."
You blinked, blushed, and thought that if anyone else had said that you'd have hit them. As it was, it was Starfire and she always said stuff like that and your only response was "I can't laugh on command." And then you realized that you were still clasped loosely in his arms and flushed deeper. "You should put me down," you said. "I'm too heavy."
Obviously you weren't, and everyone knew it. He opened his mouth to argue, you could tell from the roll of his eyes and the set of his jaw, but he stopped himself and set you down. You walked away silently, your body feeling hot and itchy and your thoughts nothing but a nauseating swirl in your mind. You sat in your room for several moments in the dark, carefully thinking about nothing, taking deep breaths, almost but not quite meditating. When the sound of someone knocking on your door jerked you out of your non-thoughts, you called that it was open, thinking it would be Beast Boy. But it wasn't and there was really nothing you could think to say except, "What do you want?"
"Raven . . ." he trailed off and then sighed. "Why are you so scared?" he inquired without preamble.
You blinked and then gaped at him.
"What?"
"You heard me," he retorted. "You're scared about something and–"
"Just what," you cut in. "Am I supposedly scared of?"
He was silent for several long seconds and when he finally answered, it shook you to the core.
"Me."
You didn't know what to say so you kept your mouth shut and he kept talking.
"I heard you, that day we fought the twins. You said you loved me."
You felt cold. He knew. He knew and he was standing in your bedroom talking about it. You wanted to shake your head and scream, tell him it was a mistake. But he was advancing toward you and you couldn't do more than wait to see what would happen.
"Do you still love me?" he asked.
Gods yes, you still loved him. But what did it matter to him?"
"We're just friends," you said softly. "We're partners."
"So?"
"So? So, that's all. That's all you want."
He stared at you for a moment, expression unreadable, and then he asked, "Why do you think that?"
Wasn't it obvious?
"Because," you said. "Because it's wrong and it's impossible and we're so different –"
"I don't care," he interrupted.
You looked at him wide-eyed and he took another step forward, kneeling in front of your bed and forcing you to look at him.
"Do you love me?"
You looked away and you wanted to say no. Things could go back to normal if you denied it. But you couldn't open your mouth, let alone answer. And all the while he gazed at you and you at the wall. And then he spoke.
"I think I've loved you for a long time," he said softly, and you stiffened. "I was just too scared to do anything about it. I didn't want to screw up. I know how scared you are of being alone or betrayed and I didn't want to do that. To hurt you. So I never said anything."
"Then why now?" you demanded, irate and terrified, not ready to believe what he was telling you. "Are you suddenly telling me this, treating me like this, because things didn't work out with Star?"
"No!" he said loudly. "Raven I love you. I'm in love with you and I would never say anything like that if it weren't true."
You knew it. This was Robin you were talking to, and he would never do anything to hurt you. He would never lie, he would never leave you to die alone. And before you knew it you were looking up at him and leaning forward and you tilted your head slightly, closing your eyes. Your lips met and you kissed him without really knowing how to do it.
You were both still at first, neither believing what was happening. In your mind you thought about him, saw him as he'd been when you'd first met and through the years since then. You could see his body moving, never losing, never giving out. And the few moments that flashed in your thoughts where he'd gone down and hadn't gotten up reminded you how desperately you needed him. And it was you who made the keening noise in your throat and cupped his face in your hands and pressed your lips more firmly against his, but he was the one who gasped and kissed you back.
You wondered, briefly, if all kisses felt like this. You'd been kissed a few times in your life, but none of them were anything compared to the hot flush that made your skin pulse beneath your clothes and that heightened your senses and that made you feel as though all the magic and power in your body was pooling in the pit of you stomach, tangible and accessible. If you hadn't been wondering at the feel of his tongue on yours, you might have thought about the number of spells you'd seen that used this, this intimacy, and were all the more powerful for it. Spells to bind, spells to free, spells to revive, and spells to kill.
But you weren't thinking about that. Instead you were taking control of the kiss and telling him what you were too afraid to put into words. You told him a thousand different things with that first kiss.
Robin don't leave me.
Robin I need you.
Robin don't hurt me.
Robin I trust you.
Robin I'll die without you.
Robin I'd die for you.
Robin I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
And he answered you, taking back control, or maybe you were giving it to him, eager to hear his responses, certain you'd feel them forever after this, that he was branding them into you. He put his hands on your waist, moved closer, shifted you and angled his head. His lips slid wetly over yours and his tongue traced the roof of your mouth and you shivered at the same time he groaned.
He told you he needed you, would never hurt you, loved you, loved you, loved you. You felt it deep inside and you knew it was all true and the kiss deepened for a moment in acknowledgment of it, of this sudden understanding of each other. And then you separated, breath choppy, bodies thrumming with emotion and arousal. You gazed at him and didn't bother trying to smile. Your lips were tingling too much and it took you two tries to get them to move for you.
"I'm in love with you, too," you finally managed to whisper.
"I know," he responded with a grin.
You kissed again, soft tender kisses and hard passionate ones. You thought, vaguely, that maybe it was still wrong. But your heart, your whole being, now echoed Robin's, your Robin's, sentiment. You didn't care.