One day, Dora was sitting in a tree with Boots, guzzling hootch.

"Hi, I'm Dora!" she said cheerfully to the preschool viewers watching the show. "You like Budweiser?" There was a long pause, then Dora said, "Me too!"

"Actually," interrupted Boots, "it tastes like gasoline."

"Then drink it!" Dora yelled at Boots, starting to get angry. "Drink The Great American Lager!"

Boots finally obliged and took a sip of Dora's beer. A split-second later though, he did a spit-take , spitting Budweiser right into Dora's face. "Ew!" he whined. "It still tastes like gasoline!"

"No, it doesn't!" Dora narrowed her eyes at Boots, but he kept talking anyway.

"I'm calling the police because you're only a third of the required age to drink that crappy dreck!" he shouted.

Dora just giggled. "Silly Boots! It doesn't taste like crap!" Suddenly, Dora's eyes got all dreamy and "beautiful" harp music began to play in the background. "It tastes like Heaven!"

The harp music stopped abruptly as Boots gave Dora a hard shove, knocking her off the branch and out of the tree. "DAAAAAAH!" she screamed all the way down.

"Now wait until you're 21!" her monkey friend called down from the tree when Dora landed with a thud on the ground.

Nevertheless, Dora managed to empty out her Papi's entire liquor cabinet in one afternoon. After her beerfest, Dora walked back to the tree in her backyard, singing a slurred, somewhat twisted version of her theme song.

"Dora-ora-ora, Boots is slaugh'ered! Whoo-hoo! I got boobs cause I'm a explora-ora. I need your help, now lick my butthole! Let's go..."

Mami came running outside. "Dora, Fat Albert time!" she sang.

"Jumpin' vamanos!" exclaimed Dora. And with that, she stumbled drunkenly into the house, while Boots followed closely behind.

Dora and Boots plopped down onto the couch, just as the opening sequence started; Dora was so tipsy, though, that she just had to sing along with the theme song. But the problem, at least for Boots, was that she just WOULDN'T STOP SCREWING IT UP!

(Author's note. The words in PARENTHESES: ( ) is what is being sung on TV by the Fat Albert Gang. The words in BRACKETS: [ ] is what Dora changes in the theme song while she sings along with it.)

[Gay, gay, gay!]

((Fat Albert) It's Faaaat Albert! And I'm gonna...)

[...wear a thong for youuuu!]

((Fat Albert) And Bill's...)

[...hitting the bong, so I am toooo!]

((Fat Albert) You'll have some fun now...)

[...in bed with...]

((Fat Albert) ...all the gang!)

[A-kissing, cuddling, and a-moaning, while we do "the thing!" Na-na-na, talk about a good time! Gay-gay-gay!]

((Bill Cosby) This is Bill Cosby coming at you...)

[...with lots of racy fun...]

((Cosby) ...but if you're not careful...)

[...you might get pregnant before it's done...]

((Cosby) ...so let's get ready, okay?)

[Gay, gay, gay!]

((Fat Albert Gang) Na-na-na!)

[Talk about a good time!]

((Fat Albert Gang) Na-na-na!)

[Talk about a good time!]

((Fat Albert Gang) Na-na-na!)

[Talk about a good tiiiiime!]

The theme song ended and the actual show started up. Coincidentally, it was the episode about the Whiskey Kid. Usually, Boots enjoyed this show. He especially loved the parts where Bill Cosby talked. He liked the things he had to say, and he really appreciated him in this show. But today, he just wasn't digging it. He was getting madder and madder by the second! Then he broke the fourth wall-

"Now, messing around with alcohol is one thing...but making fun of my favorite show is a totally different thing!"

Then, he lost it. He so totally lost it. "THAT'S IT!" he shouted. Then, he threw Dora! He picked her up and threw her, right into a wall! Mami heard the crash and came running from the kitchen. Dora had a really bad nosebleed, and she was very unhappy!

"MOMMY!" she wailed. "Boots gave me a nosebleed! WAAAAH!"

Mami was shocked. "Boots!" she gasped.

"B-but," Boots stuttered. Mami was tapping her foot. Then he finally blurted out, "Dora started it! She made me try Budweiser and then cleaned out the liquor cabinet downstairs!"

"DORA MARQUEZ!" cried Mami. Boots started to get a big smile on his face. He figured Mami was about to explode!

But he was wrong. "Thank you so much!" she hugged her daughter. "Maybe that'll stop Papi's bad drinking habits for good! As for you, Boots... OUT! NOW!"

With a lump in his throat and tears building up in his eyes, Boots trudged outside.

"It's not fair! It was Dora's fault to start with!" he muttered to himself. "Well, I'm never going over there again," he finally decided.

Meanwhile, Dora finally got over her hangover, and, since Boots had gone home, decided to go down to Tico's place.