Pavel stood and waited while the door to the bridge fully opened. When it did, he took two steps inside and stopped. There were many people on the bridge, but the first person the young Ensign's eyes fell on were the Vulcan man standing behind the Captain's chair, Commander Spock.

Suddenly Pavel felt sick. Of course, he knew why he felt sick...and why every time he saw Spock he felt sick or would turn the other way and leave as fast as he could. He stood frozen as he watched the Vulcan talk to the Captain, Pavel couldn't understand how the man could still be so calm and stoic...his whole planet had been destroyed only days ago...and his Mother...his mother had also...and it was his fault. It was Pavel's fault...he had no delusions about it: he was the one who had dropped her and lost her for good.

He had watched Spock attack Captain Kirk the day after his planet had been destroyed and couldn't help but wish that the Vulcan would do the same thing to him, or if not beat him violently to an inch of his life at least blame him for his mother's death.

"Chekov? Dude you don't look so good, you okay?" Pavel was snapped out of his frozen state as he heard his best friend's –Hikaru Sulu- voice.

Pavel looked away from Spock to Sulu, who was sitting in his usual place in front of his controls. Pavel's face drained and turned to a drip white colour. "Um...d-da..." He said quietly. His eyes flashed to look over at Spock, who was watching him with something that resembled worry. Pavel's hand flew up to cover his mouth as his stomach pulled in and his cheeks puffed out...before he could throw up in front of everyone he ran out of the room as quickly as his feet could carry him.

Pavel was on his knees with his hands clinging to the black seat lid and his head hanging over the toilet seat. He lifted his head up slowly and took a deep breath.

'Hov can he...? He should...vhy does he not-!' Pavel's in-consistent thoughts were cut short as he felt the burning feeling rise up in his throat again. He flung his head forward, closer to the open space of the toilet. He could feel his stomach heave inwards as the bile spilled out of his mouth. Bile. He hadn't been eating properly since the incident with Spock's mother. He coughed out more of the clear yellowy liquid before he realised he wasn't alone.

He didn't turn to see who it was, he was still too busy been sick. He breathed deeply as he looked out of the corner of his eye to see the person was knelt down beside the toilet and holding a towel out towards him. He also realised the person had black hair and pointed ears...it was Spock. Pavel turned his gaze away from Spock and back towards the toilet.

"You are avoiding me, Mister Chekov." Spock stated.

Pavel didn't say anything, he continued his gaze at the toilet.

"May I ask why?"

Pavel opened his mouth to speak, but then all he could think of was the monitor telling him that Amanda Grayson was falling and the look on Spock's face after he had been beamed back up on to the ship. He shut his mouth.

Spock looked from Pavel to quickly glance into the toilet. "As I thought. You have not been eating correctly."

Pavel turned his face to look at Spock, his eyes were rimmed with tears.

Spock looked over Pavel's face as if he were examining the situation. He used the towel in his hand to wipe Pavel's face clean.

That was when Pavel knew he couldn't hold it back anymore, he had to say it...he had to try and make things better, even though he knew he didn't deserve to be forgiven. "I...I...Meester Spock, I am so sorry...I tried, I really tried...but I couldn't, I couldn't get her...I tried so hard...I really did, I svear...I am so wery, wery sorry, I-!"

"Mister Chekov, that's enough." Spock interrupted. Pavel stared at the older man wide eyed. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Spock spoke up. "I did not come after you for you to apologise for something that was not your fault, I came to check you are okay."

Pavel's eyes widened even more. "H-hov can you...I'm the reason your Mother is not here! Vhy are you not mad? Hov can you sit there and look atz me?" The tears that had been filling his eyes finally spilled over and ran down his face.

"Mister Chekov it is not your fault. If anything I should be thanking you, you saved myself, my Father and a number of other Vulcans. You should not be sat here crying." Spock told him.

"But it eez my fault!" Pavel said loudly.

"Do not blame yourself...please." Spock raised his hand to gently stroke Pavel's cheek.

A small blush quickly crept across Pavel's cheeks. "But you are not ewen made atz me...you shouldz hate me."

Spock slowly moved his hand down Pavel's face and slid it to the crook of his neck. He squeezed lightly and Pavel's eyes fluttered shut as he fell forward, landing against Spock's chest. "It is not your fault, Pavel." He whispered and then picked up the smaller boy, carrying him as he left the toilets and started towards the boy's room.

End!

sorry for the lame title, and I might right a second part to this but not sure yet...

thanks for reading!