Nicholas D. Wolfwood squinted up at the noonday suns. He needed to get something to eat; he'd been traveling for a while and was parched. The ash on the end of his cigarette fell to the ground in punctuation of his feelings.
"Hey there young 'n'!" said a crazy old man from a nearby porch. He giggled senilely. "I reckon y' ain't from around here"
"Do you know where I can get something to eat, ya crazy old man?" Wolfwood asked, dragging his cross and himself closer to the porch.
"All I got here is my own brand 'a moonshine," said the crazy old man, giggling and brandishing his XXX jar. "But there is a donut eating contest over yonder down the street." He swung his jug in the general direction of the contest and accidentally splashed Wolfwood in the process.
"Hey!" Wolfwood protested. He grabbed the jug away from the crazy old man and took a swig. "Ahh! That's fantastic"
"Thank'ee, young 'n'," the crazy old man giggled.
"What kind of prize are they giving away in that contest"
"Oh, twenty thousand double dollars or so," said the crazy old man.
"20,000?" exclaimed the back half of Wolfwood and his cloud of dust.
"See ya later," said the crazy old man.
"Nyoooww," said the black cat in his lap.

Iles away, two women toiled toward the city under the blazing heat of the suns.
"Water..." they croaked in unison. Behind them, a lone figure in a red coat carried all their luggage.
"Donuts..." he whispered.
20 minutes later, Wolfwood was kicking ass and taking names... at donut eating. Even though he had entered the contest late, Wolfwood had already surpassed the other contestants.
"OOH! DONUTS!" Wolfwood heard someone say.
"Looks like we have a new contestant!" came the voice over the loudspeaker.
In a matter of 5 mintues, it was over. Wolfwood had lost, and so had the children waiting at his orphanage, depending on the 20,000 that had just slipped out of his grasp.
"You know, it's kinda rude to just butt in and ruin a contest like that," one of the girls scolded.
"I'm really sorry," said the man in the red coat as he rubbed the back of his head nervously. "It's just that I was really hungry"
"You should really stop to think about other people before you do things!" the girl continued.
"Like me!" declared the other girl with her fist in the air. "I want pudding!" The trio laughed and walked off down the street.
Wolfwood knelt among the remnants of once-full donut trays. "I was so close," he muttered.
"Excuse me, Mr. Wolfwood?" Wolfwood looked up to see the crazy old man standing over him. "It seems that the other fella didn't stop to register before he won, so you get the prize by default." He handed Wolfwood a piece of paper.
"Really!" Wolfwood cried, leaping to his feet.
"Yeah, we really thought 2 million donuts would be enough," commented the crazy old man.
"WOOHOO!" Wolfwood yelled. "This is enough for the kids and for me to get a new motorcycle!" He ran off down the street excitedly.
"There goes a fine young man, Mr. Mayor," said a man standing nearby.
"Yer darn tootin," said the crazy old man.
And the cat near his feet said, "Nyoooww!"

The End

a joint production of CatrinaSL and Animedude, February 20, 2005, 3:16 AM