Close to Home

Charlie spotted the woman straight away. She was seated in a booth at the back, her back straight and proud.

"Mrs Proctor?" He didn't wait for an answer, he slid into the booth opposite her.

Her gray eyes appraised him. Charlie tried to place her age, but couldn't. She was obviously very wealthy, her clothes were expensive and looked tailored. A string of discreet pearls visible at the neck of her blouse.

"I need you to find someone. My son."

Charlie knew this already, she'd told him as much on the phone. What he didn't understand was why she was paying for a Maine PI to find someone in New York.

"Why me?" He asked.

"I've heard you're good at what you do." Mrs Proctor replied simply. She pushed a sheet of paper across the table at him. "Here's all the details, name, date of birth, father's name."

Charlie thought about telling her to find someone else. Someone local but then he saw the name on the paper.

He knew her son.

"My mother?"

Charlie watched the small, disheveled man opposite him. Beside him sat a tall, black man, who up until that point had been glancing idly round the room. Now all his attention was on his partner, Angel.

"Why now?" asked Angel, "what does she want?"

Charlie shook his head, "I don't know." He admitted.

Angel stared down into his coffee cup, as he struggled to get his thoughts in order.

"What shall I do?" he asked, eventually, "should I meet her?"

"You ask me, she's 40 years too late." Said Louis, his face softened at the expression of pain and confusion on Angel's face, "whatever you decide I'll stand by you."

Angel nodded thoughtfully to himself, "I'll see her." he said quietly.

Charlie stood up, "I'll arrange it for you."

Angel fidgeting in the passenger seat next to Louis.

"Are you sure I look okay?" He asked, tugging at the dark red shirt he wore, "it feels kinda tight, I shoulda got a bigger size."

Louis sighed, "It's not too small, it's your size. You really wanna be meeting her for the first time looking like a bum?" So far Louis had refused to refer to her as Angel's mother. As far as he was concerned she'd given up the right to that title the day she had left her baby son to be brought up by a monster.

Angel fiddled with the cuffs, "I don't feel comfortable."

Louis had taken Angel shopping the day before and it had taken all his powers of persuasion to get Angel to buy something that fit and wouldn't cause everyone in the vicinity a migraine. Louis liked to think he was a patient man; shopping with Angel definitely tested that.

Louis glanced across at his partner, he had shaved and looked younger than usual.

"You sure you don't want me to come with you?"

"I gotta do this by myself." Angel replied.

"OK." Louis reached out and gently stroked Angel's cheek, "I'll be here."

Marta Proctor, as she was now known, looked up as the door to the bistro opened emitting a blast of cold air and two men. She recognized one as the detective, the other she deduced was her son. She hadn't thought about the child she had abandoned much in the intervening years, it was easier for conscience if she didn't. However, she had always thought that if she did meet him again that she'd know, recognize a part of her within him but as she watched the stranger approach her, she felt nothing.

"Mrs Proctor, this is Angel." Charlie stepped aside and indicated to the man beside him.

The small man smiled shyly, "Hi."

Marta appraised him silently for a moment, "Take a seat," she said eventually.

Charlie wavered uncertainly, "Do you want me to stay or go?" He addressed Mrs Proctor as she was his client.

"Leave us for awhile." she replied.

"I'll wait with Louis," he told Angel and left.

Louis looked up as the passenger door opened and Charlie slid into the seat that Angel had recently vacated.

"How was it?"

Charlie pushed the seat back to accommodate his legs, "Awkward doesn't even begin to cover it."

Louis sighed, "You think she's legit?" he asked.

"You mean is she Angel's mother, then yes. If you're asking what her intentions are, I don't know but I don't think she's come back after all this time just to say hello."

"He's gonna get hurt, isn't he?" said Louis, with an air of resignation.

Marta appraised the man opposite her. Anyone seeing them together would never guess they were even distantly related, let alone mother and son. Whereas she was tall, blond and had carried herself with all the poise and grace that comes with wealth, her son was small, dark haired and looked uncomfortable in his expensive clothes. Marta thought, unkindly, he looked like he had dressed up for court.

The waiter arrived with a menu but Marta waved him away, "Just a coffee me, we won't be staying long."

Angel ordered a coffee too, hiding his disappointment. They had been here less than two minutes and already she was itching to get away. He wondered what he had done wrong.

"I suppose you have questions." Said Marta, in tone that suggested that she wasn't really interested. Angel had a million questions but decided to ask the most important.

"Why did you leave me?" he asked.

Marta reached into her purse and pulled out a cigarette and lighter. She took a long drag before answering.

"I was very young," she said eventually, "I was sixteen when I fell pregnant. Far to young and immature. Your father drank too much and was prone to violence, it was no place for a young girl."

"It was hardly a place for a baby either," commented Angel, trying to keep his tone neutral, "why didn't you take me with you?"

"My parents said they would take me back, but just me. They didn't like your father and didn't want anything to do with him." She looked away avoiding Angel's gaze and for the first time since he had sat down he felt his was getting an emotion from her other than cold disdain.

"It wasn't a hard choice. You cried all the time and your father was always drunk. I couldn't wait to get out of there."

Angel fiddled with his napkin, after all these years he finally had the answer but it left him empty inside. He had always secretly imagined that his mother had been driven away and would one day rescue him from the living hell that had been his childhood. In later years he had come to accept that she must be dead. The reality was a bitter pill to swallow.

The waiter arrived with their coffees and silence descended.

"So why now?" Angel asked when the waiter had left.

Marta fished in her purse again and pulled out photograph and passed it to Angel. Marta smiled out him, flanked on either side by two men. They shared her fine features and coloring.

"These your sons?" His voiced cracked a little, he was starting to realize that whatever Marta wanted, it wasn't to invite him into the bosom of her family.

"Alexander, is my eldest." She pointed to the one on the left.

Angel felt a little piece of him break inside, "I'm your eldest."

Marta either didn't hear him, or choose to ignore him, "he's sick. He could die."

"So?"

"He needs a kidney."

"You're not doing it!" Louis clenched his fists by his sides and fought to resist the urge to shake the younger man before him.

"It's just a little test."

"I don't care! She comes back after all this time and expects you to..."

"I offered," shouted Angel, interrupting Louis. It was a lie, of course. Marta had cried about her sick son and begged her forgotten, abandoned son for help until Angel had agreed. A part of him hoped that if he did this she'd forgive him for being his father's son. He would have a proper family at last. He could experience his first family Christmas, birthdays. Maybe he and Louis could invite them around and...

"What if you're a match? Then what? It's not a little thing. It'll take months to recover!"

"I know, Louis, I'm not stupid." Angel turned and stalked away towards their bedroom. They'd been arguing since Angel and told him of their conversation and neither one was backing down.

Louis sighed, "Angel, wait."

Angel stopped but didn't turn round. Louis went to him, pulling him into his arm. He brushed a kiss across his forehead.

"I'm here for you. You know that, no matter what. I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"I won't."

"After everything you've been through these past few years; the hospitals, the operations, the pain. I just can't believe you're contemplating going through that again."

Angel started to pull away, "It's hardly the same thing, Louis. You can't compare what Faulkner did to me with this."

Louis gripped his arm tightly to preventing him from moving away. He tilted Angel's chin so he was forced to look in his eyes.

"I love you, I'm just tryin' to protect you."

Angel smiled, "Had your way, I'd be wrapped in cotton wool."

"At least it'd hide your clothes."

The atmosphere in Doctor Steiner's office could have been cut with a knife. Angel had tried several times to start a conversation with Marta, but each time her monosyllabic answers had quickly killed any attempts. In the end Angel, the eternal chatterbox, had given up and had taken to drumming his fingers on his denim clad knee. Since there were only two seats, Louis stood behind them. He had insisted that he would be there for the results, afraid that if Angel were a match then Marta and her pet Doctor would bully him into making a rash decision.

"Must you do that?" Snapped Marta.

"Sorry." Angel dropped his head, like a scolded schoolboy, and clasped his hands together on his knee.

Louis didn't think it was possible but his dislike for Marta went up a notch. He dropped a hand onto Angel's shoulder and he felt him relax slightly, although he didn't look up. Louis noticed the look of distaste on Marta's face when she saw him touching Angel and the nature of their relationship dawned on her. Angel didn't seem to notice and Louis wasn't about hurt him further by drawing his attention to it.

The door opened and Doctor Steiner entered with a sheet of paper and Marta perked up until she saw the grave look on his face.

"It's not a match, is it?" She asked, all traces of hope leaving her face.

Doctor Steiner perched himself behind his large desk, "I'm sorry, Marta. We always knew it would be a long shot."

Louis let out an audible sigh of relief and patted Angel's shoulder as though congratulating him.

"So what happens now?" Asked Angel, he wasn't sure if he were relieved or disappointed.

"We keep hoping that the donor lists throw up a match." Replied Dr Steiner.

Marta looked drained, "Can you leave us alone for a moment, Doctor?"

Steiner glanced apprehensively at the two men. He knew that the smaller man was vaguely related to Martha, although he wasn't sure how. He didn't know where the tall man fit into all this, but he was clearly hostile. Martha sensed his hesitation and smiled encouragingly.

"I'll be back in a minute," he said.

Angel waited until he had gone, "So what now?"

Marta smoothed the hem of her gray, woolen skirt, "I think it's best if we go back to how it was before." She said, eventually.

"You mean, you pretending I don't exist and me thinking you're dead?" Replied Angel.

Marta sighed, "I never told my husband about you. Can you imagine the pain and hurt it would cause him and my sons if they found out I had lied to them all this time?"

"But it's okay to hurt Angel?" Louis was unable to keep quiet any longer. "You think this has been easy for him?"

Martha stood up, "I think I've said all I want to say on the subject," she said coldly, "please don't contact me again."

"Too bad, 'cause I ain't done yet." Louis' voice was equally cold, "go wait in the car Angel."

Angel started to protest but Louis dropped the key in his lap, "Now."

Angel wasn't generally one for doing as he was told, but something in Louis' tone told him that now would be a good time to start.

Louis waited until the door and closed softly behind Angel before turning on Marta.

"You don't deserve him, you know. You act like you think he isn't good for you and your precious family, but he's too good for you."

Martha gripped her purse, "I'm leaving,"

Louis put an arm out to stop her, "Do you know what that monster did to him? What he allowed other monsters to do to him?"

Martha shifted uneasily and looked away, "I heard rumors," she said softly.

"You. Heard. Rumors." Louis spat out between gritted teeth, "But you didn't think to do anything?"

"I was already married and had Ethan by then. What was I supposed to do?"

"Anything!" Louis shouted, "An anonymous tip would have done. But you just left him!"

"Sir?" A security guard stood in the door, behind him Louis could see Angel looking ashen faced.

Angel didn't speak during the drive home and went straight into his bathroom when they arrived home. Louis heard the shower and decided to wait for him in the bedroom. He was propped against the headboard, flicking through a magazine when Angel appeared in the bedroom, wrapped in a towel.

Louis didn't say anything as Angel dropped the towel to the floor, slipped into shorts and and climbed into bed, pulling the covers over his head. Ordinarily Louis might have said something about the towel but decided to let it slide. Just this once.

He allowed Angel to stew a little first before speaking.

"It's a little early for bed isn't it?"

Angel shifted under the covers but didn't speak.

"You cryin'?"

"No." Even through the covers Louis could hear the waver in Angel's voice.

Louis sighed, he wasn't very good at this type of thing. He reached over the Angel shaped lump in the bed and rifled through the bedside cabinet and retrieved the photo Marta had given him.

Louis studied it.

"They're very bland looking aren't they?" He said.

Nothing.

"Look at them. Wearing boring black with their perfectly cut hair. Why wear black when there's a whole rainbow of colors out there to clash."

There was a sound from the covers that could have been a crying or laughing.

"Shame you didn't get to meet them. You coulda taught them how to dress."

"You hate my fashion sense." Angel's voice was muffled.

"I'd rather have fashion senseless you than the bland brothers."

Angel's head peeked out from the covers, his cheeks were wet but a small smile tugged at his lips.

"Really?"

Louis scooted down the bed and wiped Angel's cheek with a long finger.

"Yeah, could you imagine if we were both like me? Be fighting for the mirror all the time."

Angel rested his head on Louis' shoulder, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being there for me. Trying to cheer me up."

Louis kissed the top of his head, "It's my job."

Angel fell silent and Louis listened to his breathing as it evened out. His head felt heavy on his chest as Louis stroked his hair gently. When he was sure Angel was sound asleep he carefully rolled him onto his side.

"I'll always be here for you." He whispered.