"Robin!" cried Starfire's tinkling voice as the Tamaranian girl entered the main lounge, where Robin was sat on the sofa, playing a video game solo, with Raven seated nearby, reading a book, paying no attention to the fighting wizards onscreen. "Tomorrow is a joyous day, for we are going to the con of comics!" Robin and Raven turned to see that the alien supergirl was glittering with excitement. Oversized sweat drops appeared on their faces as they struggled to process what she'd just said.
"Run that through me again?" said Robin.
"Beast Boy and Cyborg have invited us to the Jump City Comic Con on the morrow. There is to be stalls, entertainment and people dressed up in the cosplay."
Beast Boy had now appeared behind her. "Maybe I'll finally get to find DVDs of 'The Monster From The Swamp Of Death' or 'Killer Squirrels From Jupiter'!"
"I cannot wait to watch them," responded Raven dryly, her attention drawn back to her novel.
Robin had turned back to his video game. "I'm sure you, Cyborg and Starfire will have a great time at this Comic Con, but it's not really my thing…"
Starfire looked disappointed until Cyborg walked into the sitting area. "What if I told you there's going to be an entire stall dedicated to 'Stonehenge Avenger' games?"
Robin completed the level on his video game, threw his controller onto the sofa and sprang to his feet, facing Cyborg. "Then you can count me in."
Raven looked up from her novel. "Am I now the only person not interested in this convention?"
Beast Boy scratched the back of his neck. "Well, er…" he said with a giggle, before catching sight of the title of Raven's novel – 'Midnight Enchantment' by Enya Black. "Hey, wait! It said on the website Enya Black's going to be at the Comic Con signing copies of her latest graphic novel."
"Do come along, friend Raven!" trilled Starfire, "We would be overjoyed to have your presence among us at the Con of Comics."
Raven looked up from her book. "I'll think about it."
Starfire took this as a 'yes' and started squealing and turning backward somersaults in glee.
"Wait a minute…" Robin turned to Cyborg and Beast Boy. "If it's a Comic Con, then why are there going to be video games and a novelist there? I thought they were just for people who like comic books."
Cyborg and Beast Boy exchanged glances. "Man, he's got a lot to learn, hasn't he B.B?" said Cyborg with a wink, mirrored by his mischievous best friend.
TEEN TITANS
Darth Fanboy Strikes Back
A day later, a fascinated Robin was walking through a large hall filled with stalls displaying books, comics, artwork and merchandise for every franchise imaginable. There were big posters hanging from the ceiling advertising the celebrity guests attending the Con and occasionally nestled in amongst the stalls were movie props ideal for photo opportunities. Starfire took pictures of Beast Boy and Cyborg posing with a dinosaur (pretending to be absolutely terrified), a retro robot (whom Cyborg did a fist bump with) and a secret agent's car (wearing sunglasses and posing like cool spies). There were hundreds of other people at the convention too, more often than not in costume. Some cosplayers were dressed as cartoon characters, others were dressed as characters from video games, a few were Disney characters but by far the most popular costume choice was that of superheroes. The Teen Titans certainly didn't look out of place in the crowd!
Raven vanished off to Enya Black's book signing whilst Robin found the Stonehenge Avenger table and looked through all the games while Cyborg and Beast Boy were buying smoothies in a nearby cafeteria. There weren't just copies of various versions of the game either – there were novels set in the game's universe, figurines of Merlin and the other characters; posters of the game's version of Medieval England (with all the magical runes marked out) and apparel bearing the game's logo. Robin was just contemplating whether or not he should purchase one of the games when he was interrupted by Starfire.
"Robin, why is it called a con of comics?"
"I think it's an abbreviation of 'convention'."
"So it is not a con of the money?"
"I don't think so."
Starfire picked up a box containing a King Arthur action figure. "Then why are the costs of the merchandise cons of the money?"
Robin caught sight of the price and his face morphed into a horrified expression. "That's a good question, Starfire…"
…
Robin and Starfire weren't the only people concerned by the extortionate prices charged by the stall dealers. In another part of the convention, a familiar individual was fingering the tag on a Warp Trek action figure with his fingerless-glove-clad hands.
"Fifty dollars?!" he spat, "Are they kidding me?" He pulled his hand away and dug it into his coat pocket, slowly removing what appeared to be a kind of remote control. "Not for much longer…" He aimed the remote at a life-size model of Mr Spook, who was stood near the Warp Trek stall. The pointy-eared Falcon raised his gun and fired. There were screams as the beam hit part of the floor, causing a small explosion, thankfully not injuring anyone. Mr Spook stepped away from the exhibit, holding up his firearm, ready to shoot again any moment. Con-goers backed away from him, utterly afraid.
The man in charge of the stall was so frightened he fell right off his chair and scrambled away as fast as his legs would carry him. The perpetrator of the chaos just laughed. "That's what you get for overcharging Control Freak!" His brows knitted menacingly. "Now to collect the prizes…" He took a bag from his other pocket and began scooping as many pieces of Warp Trek merchandise into it as he could carry.
…
It wasn't long before the Titans became aware of the hysteria caused by Control Freak's monsters. Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy and Cyborg were in the café munching on chicken and noodles (or tofu and noodles in Beast Boy's case) when a group of people ran into the snack bar screaming.
"What's going on?" asked Beast Boy, "I thought the celebrity guests were supposed to be in the theatre."
"I don't think they're running after someone," said Robin, "Rather, they're running from something…"
No sooner had he said this did a familiar sight stomp its way into the food hall. It was the dinosaur they had photographed earlier, only then it had been a lot less animated. Now the fifteen-foot tall beast was letting out a throaty roar, terrified people scattering in all directions. Some of the people in the café started hiding under tables and chairs.
Robin leapt off his seat and whipped a few batarangs out of his utility belt. The other Titans followed suite, ready to take down the menace.
Robin flung exploding batarangs onto its plastic hide, Starfire shot at it with her green fire, Cyborg blasted it with his sonic cannon and Beast Boy turned himself into a tyrannosaurus-rex, before pummelling its side. Though the monster fought back, it didn't take the team five minutes to mangle it to pieces, leaving only the metal frame.
"Can someone please explain how a dinosaur model suddenly came to life and started stampeding through the con?" said Cyborg, when he noticed that the prehistoric reptile wasn't the only menace to terrorise the convention. There was complete mayhem in the dealers' area as people fled from the now-animated retro robot (now able to shoot lasers) and a life-size, sword-wielding pirate figure. "Or those guys?"
The other Titans gazed on in horror.
"I've got a pretty good idea," replied Robin, "There's only one villain I know who can bring inanimate models to life and would do so at a Comic Con…"
Promptly, he noticed a figure in the crowd approaching him (he was the only person not dashing around madly, trying to avoid one of the models). It was an obese thirty-something-year-old man with long auburn hair and sideburns, wearing a dark grey coat with broad metal shoulders, over a pale tan robe and brown trousers, clutching a deadly-looking remote control and leering.
"It is I – Darth Fanboy, Lord of the Pringles, Captain Couch-Potato, the one and only CONTROL FREAK!"
"Oh, man – not you again!" groaned Beast Boy, "What are you after this time?"
"Being a geek is kinda expensive. I thought it was about time I got a fair deal on my merch…" He held up his bag, which was filled to the brim with goods from the Comic Con. "…by getting it for free."
"This is pathetic – even for you, Control Freak!" responded Robin, "Just drop the bag and this could all be over instantly…otherwise, we're going to have to bring you down."
He sprang into his enemy's path, followed by the other Titans, who readied themselves for battle.
"Too bad you're no match for my army of monsters…" Control Freak sneered.
He raised his remote and behind him gathered a group of animated models, including the robot, pirate, Mr Spook, a white-bearded wizard in long grey robes, an elf boy in a green tunic and hat with a decorated shield; and a different robot that was pepper pot shaped with a sink plunger and whisk for weapons. Behind the Titans, even more models encroached on them, until they were surrounded on all sides.
"Face it guys – you're toast!"
Robin smirked. "Too bad you're outnumbered."
Control Freak suddenly became aware that not all the crowd was backing away from his monsters. In fact, some of them – especially the ones dressed as superheroes or similar characters – were getting into poses that looked almost as if they were preparing themselves to fight...
Control Freak gulped loudly, but he wasn't prepared to surrender. "You still don't stand a chance against my remote control of doom. I can create a limitless amount of monsters. Once you've defeated these guys, I'll just go make more! Why even bother trying?"
Without warning, a member of the crowd tossed a boomerang-shaped weapon in Control Freak's direction and knocked the remote clean out of his hand, flying onto the floor amongst the other con-goers' feet.
Control Freak froze in shock. "Oh, shoot."
He dived in the direction of the remote, dropping his bag, but was practically flattened by a dozen costumed youth who'd pounced in the same direction. Control Freak tried to wrestle his way to the remote, which he could just about see on the floor, but just as his arm was halfway to meeting it, a gloved hand snatched it up. His heart sank as he saw who had taken it – not one of the Titans, but the next worse thing, a boy of about ten wearing a Batman costume.
"NOOOOO! DON'T TOUCH THAT!" he shrieked, but the lad paid no attention.
He pointed the remote at a nearby stall, upon which were some silver-handled red and blue Laser Swords, and zapped one of them. He picked it up, admiring his new weapon. The sword was now glowing electric blue, suggesting it had gone through a deadly transformation.
The boy turned round and with a mighty battle-cry, charged at the retro robot. With one swipe of the sabre, he'd chopped off its head! The machine hadn't moved since Control Freak had dropped the remote, but still the young man looked very pleased with himself.
Control Freak managed to fight his way out of the tangle of arms and legs, and scrambled towards the lad, yelling, "GIVE THAT BACK!" The boy aimed the remote at another table, which contained figurines from a fantasy-themed table-top game. The little figures leapt off the stall and the next thing Control Freak knew, he was screaming and desperately swatting away an army of miniature dragons, ridden by tiny wizards.
Meanwhile, the Titans were stood back, watching the show.
"Control Freak was right. We don't need to bother trying to defeat him," said Robin wryly, his arms folded.
"Yeah! That kid's doin' all the work for us," responded Cyborg, who had slunk back to the café and was putting his feet up, slurping up the rest of his noodles.
Meanwhile, Beast Boy was investigating the contents of Control Freak's abandoned bag. "Rare first edition Warp Trek figures? Man, you're gonna be in so much trouble when security gets here!" He also found something even more satisfying. "Dude! You never told me you like Pretty Pretty Pegasus." Sure enough, there were several collectable pony toys concealed within the bag. Beast Boy chuckled mischievously.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" snapped Control Freak, crouching on the floor in an attempt to duck the attacks of the mini dragons.
"Friend Beast Boy?" enquired Starfire, "Do you know why is it that the merchandise has the cost of the Earth? Is it made of materials that are hard to find?"
"It's a bit more complicated than that, Starfire…"
The security team turned up that very moment, to find Control Freak had now been reduced to a cowering mess, flopped on his front, his arms clamped protectively over his head, trying to shield himself from the baby flames the little dragon army kept firing at him. One of the officers confiscated the remote from the rather disappointed youth dressed as Batman, who had started using it to bring all sorts of action figures to life, which promptly dropped dead after it had been taken. They escorted the rather singed, battered and undoubtedly humiliated Control Freak in the direction of the office, along with the bag containing the evidence of what he'd attempted to steal from the Con.
"This isn't the last you've seen of me!" shouted the geek as he was frog-marched away, "I'll be back! Just you wait!"
"Quiet!" barked a guard, "You've already caused enough trouble!"
Control Freak leaned over the shoulders of the guards and bellowed, "AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU MEDDLING KIDS!"
The officers yanked him back on course and continued to drag him away from the Titans. Control Freak didn't resist, a look of complete and utter defeat upon his face. Once he was out of sight, the Titans caught sight of a familiar face in the crowd.
"I hope I didn't miss anything," said Raven, gliding towards them, a newly-signed Enya Black novel in her arms.
She stepped over the body of the collapsed pirate mannequin, which was strewn across the floor along with the other models Control Freak and the boy dressed as Batman had animated, not to mention other debris. The clean-up team was going to have a job and a half on their hands once the Con was over!
Cyborg raised an eyebrow. "Uh, Raven…?"
"Didn't you notice the crazy dinosaur stomping through the Con?" asked Beast Boy, "Or the robot who could shoot lasers? Or that everyone was going berserk?"
"In case you're wondering," replied Raven, "I have spent the last twenty minutes using my powers to rescue people from Control Freak's monsters. What have you guys been doing?"
"Well we, er…" began Robin.
"We took down the dinosaur and…er…defeated the Control Freak," finished Starfire. Hopefully Raven didn't notice she had her fingers crossed behind her back during the second part of her sentence (a gesture Beast Boy had taught her).
"Is that so?" said Raven.
"Wow, guys!" said a young man dressed as a wizard, approaching the group, "Your costumes are perfect! How did you make them?"
"What?" said Robin.
"You look just like the Teen Titans!" said a girl dressed as the Queen of Hearts.
"Well, er…" Robin scratched under his collar.
"I wish my costume was that good!" said the boy dressed as Batman, who had saved their bacon earlier.
"Your costume's real neat too!" answered Beast Boy, "You look like a real superhero."
Robin put two fingers to his chin. "While we're on the subject of superheroes, I bet the staff would appreciate it if a group of heroes helped clean up this mess…"
With that, a major clean-up operation went underway. All throughout the building, young people in costume started picking up merchandise, setting tables back up and scraping off food littered across the carpet. The Teen Titans' powers really came in handy! (Though they couldn't help but wonder if any of the other con-goers had twigged that something was up…)
That evening, the Titans walked down the street back to their tower, each carrying a little souvenir from the Con. Raven had her signed book, Beast Boy and Cyborg had found a few video games they wanted, Robin had bought a very tiny Merlin figurine (the cheapest piece of merchandise on the stall!) and Starfire was carrying a plush toy of an adorable yellow monster with a lightning-shaped tail.
"Oh boy, we had one sweet time at that Con!" said Beast Boy.
"I can't say the same for Control Freak," responded Cyborg, "He's gonna be shipped off to Jump City Penitentiary once the police get hold of him."
"I almost feel bad for the dude sometimes. I mean, he'd be kind of fun if he wasn't a bad guy...he likes the same sort of stuff as us. Wouldn't it be cool if we could play video games and chat about horror films together?"
"Rather you than me, BB!"
"Hey, do you guys want to go to Jump City Comic Con next year?" Beast Boy asked the others.
"Sure thing!" replied Robin, "I wasn't expecting it to be so much fun!"
"Then it is confirmed!" said Starfire, "Going to the Con of the comics is to become an annual tradition of the Teen Titans."
"Maybe next time I should go in costume!" suggested Beast Boy.
"Now there's an idea!" said Cyborg, "With your shape-shifting skills, you'll wipe the floor with the other cosplayers!"
Beast Boy looked sheepish. "Actually, I was just thinking of wearing an outfit. Y'know, like Mikey the Ninja Turtle!"
"Maybe I should go in costume too!" said Starfire chirpily, "The cosplay looks like so much fun! I could be the Princess of the Bubble-gum or the Summer of the Huggle-monster."
What on earth is she going on about? thought Robin. It looked as though he would have to wait until next year to find out…
THE END
Note:
Yes, I did make a reference to the infamous "My Little Pony" parody from Teen Titans Go! Even though I don't like TTG any more than the next fan of the original Teen Titans, it does make sense that "Pretty Pretty Pegasus" would exist in the proper TT universe as well, and even more so that Control Freak would be a fan of it!