A/N: I heard this song when I was browsing YT and I immediately connected it to Caskett. It got stuck in my head and I couldn't get it out until I wrote this story down. It's set in mid-season 6, I guess. This is the first story I've ever written, so constructive criticism is welcome. :)
The song is called 'Forever and Always' by Parachute.
Many thanks to Dmarx for the beta work. I appreciate that you took the time to read this through and make the necessary corrections. :)
Cover art made by my amazing friend Kbex9. Thanks, honey. :)
Disclaimer: Don't own them.
Forever and always
It was supposed to be just another Thursday.
They had solved another tough case late the previous night, so on Thursday she was chained to her desk filling out paperwork. The engagement hadn't changed his attitude towards paperwork, so that morning he had announced he was going to get some writing done. She didn't actually mind because since Castle was avoiding his publicist, Gina had started calling her on her quest for the last two chapters of his new book. So, after a shared shower that didn't conserve water at all, they had spent the day apart.
As usual, when facing a deadline and no chance to procrastinate, he had finished the chapters rather quickly. He had then entertained himself by harassing her with dirty text messages. With a patented eye roll and a faint blush tainting her cheeks, she had switched her phone on silent as the continuously chiming device had started to arouse the curiosity of her fellow detectives.
Soon after sending a long message describing in great detail how he was going to help her relax once she got home, he called her. He said it was to let her know he was going take care of a few errands, but she was convinced he called simply because he wanted to hear her slightly elevated breathing and the tiniest catch in her speech when she answered. If he had been there in person, she would have given him the look. Oh, how she wished he would have been there in person, even if it was to tease her.
She's sitting at the table, the hour's getting later
He was supposed to be here
She's sure he would have called
She waits a little longer, there's no one in the driveway
No one's said they've seen him
"Why, is something wrong?"
He hadn't been at the loft when she got home. She had changed into a pair of leggings and one of his old t-shirts and sat on the couch with a book – one of his earlier works. She got lost in his words and didn't notice the time until she had to turn on the lamp to see the text. She immediately felt the knot start forming in the pit of her stomach. She took a calming breath and tried to think rationally. Maybe he had stopped by the dorms to see Alexis. Yes, that must be it. See, no reason to worry.
But she couldn't shake the growing sense of dread, so she dialed his number and raked a hand through her curls as she waited for the call to connect. When it went straight to voice mail the awful feeling in her gut spread. Still, she had to stay calm. Maybe his battery died. After all, he did send a lot of texts to her earlier. Beckett contemplated for a while whether or not to call Alexis. There was no need to worry his daughter just because her imagination was running wild tonight. But almost without a conscious thought, her fingers had found Alexis' number and her thumb hovered over the call button only for a moment before pressing down.
The call had been short. Alexis was heading out with some friends and hadn't heard from her father since he had called that morning. Beckett laughed when Alexis told how she had turned down Castle's idea of a daytrip to Niagara Falls and sternly ordered him to write. Alexis asked if everything was alright but the detective was quick to assure the younger woman that there was nothing to worry about.
She was glad that Alexis was so busy with her friends, otherwise she surely would have noticed the forced cheerfulness in Beckett's voice as she hastily made up something about a rumbling stomach and empty refrigerator.
She looks back to the window
Suddenly the phone rings
A voice says something's happened
That she should come right now
Her mind goes to December
She thinks of when he asked her
He bent down on his knees first
And he said
I want you forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together
Forever and always
Almost immediately after she hung up with Alexis, her phone began to ring. She knew something was wrong the second she saw the unknown number flash on the screen. With a deep breath, Beckett swiped the screen and tried to ignore the trembling of her hand as she did so.
Everything was kind of a blur after that. Kate had operated almost like on autopilot as she put on some sneakers, grabbed her keys and raced out the door. As she was sprinting down the stairs, the elevator too slow for her, Kate couldn't help but reflect on that beautiful day when he kneeled down on the ground in front of their swings and asked her to marry him. To say she had been surprised would have been a huge understatement. But that didn't diminish the fact that Kate had been elated. Her impending move to D.C. was put to the back of their minds as they had spent the rest of the day – and most of the night – celebrating their engagement.
She pulls up to the entrance
She walks right to the front desk
They lead her down a million halls, a maze that's never ending
They talk about what happened but she can barely hear them
She tries to keep a straight face as she walks into the room
Usually Kate frowned upon the misuse of the police status in personal situations, but that day she didn't even blink when she switched on the siren and lights as she drove out of the garage to the packed streets of the city.
As she was driving, Beckett called Martha, asked her to pick up Alexis and come to the hospital straightaway. His mother could hear the urgency in Kate's voice and didn't ask any more questions. They ended the call just as Kate screeched to a halt in front of the hospital entrance. She left the car there in her rush to the front desk. Hell, she wasn't even sure if she locked the doors.
And then she was hurrying down the seemingly endless maze of corridors not really able to listen what the nurse leading her was saying – her mind set only on seeing her fiancé, as it had been ever since the call. But somehow words like surgery and critical condition registered in her mind. She sent a quick text to Martha explaining the situation and then switched off her phone.
When they rounded yet another corner and Kate saw the solemn face of Rick's doctor waiting outside his room, it all hit her with a force that had her collapsing to a chair nearby. The doctor sat beside her and explained how Rick had been hit by a cab when he was crossing a street, the vehicle hitting him at full speed. The ambulance had arrived quickly and he had been rushed straight to surgery. But the damage had been too massive – Kate felt the color drain out of her face when the doctor listed his injuries – and there was nothing short of a miracle that could save him. All they could do was to make his last moments more bearable.
Kate leaned forward and closed her eyes, pushing down the wave of nausea, willing herself to wake from this cruel nightmare, wishing she would wake up in their bed with Rick snoring lightly beside her. But when she opened her eyes she only saw the white floor of the hospital corridor. Kate wondered how something like this could happen to him, to them. It was kind of ridiculous really, when she thought about it. How nervous she had always been of him following her to arrests, afraid that he'd get in the way of a stray bullet. And yet all it took was a reckless cab driver who had run a red light.
Kate didn't know how long she sat there lost in thought, but suddenly she felt the doctor lay a gentle hand on her shoulder – Rick was awake and asking for her. Okay, time to put the brave face back on. She stood up, squared her shoulders and took the last remaining steps to the door of his room.
She sits by his bedside, holds his hand too tight
They talk about the kids they're gonna have and the good life
The house on the hillside, where they would stay
Stay there forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together, and always remember
Whether rich or for poor or for better
We'll still love each other, forever and always
He was facing the window when she stepped into the room and she could almost convince herself that he was just resting. That is, if she ignored the steady beeping of the heart rate monitor and the numerous wires attached to him. The door closed behind her with a soft whoosh and he turned his head at the sound. Kate had to suppress a sob when she saw all the cuts and bruises on his face. He reached a shaky hand in her direction so she made her way to his bedside with unsteady legs and sat down in the chair at his hip. Kate took Rick's hand in one of hers and used the other to brush aside the hair that had fallen on his forehead.
Rick gave her a small smile and made some weak attempt at humor, which fell flat when it ended with a wince as he tried to move. But Kate recognized his coping mechanism and understood his want for normalcy at a moment like this. So she tightened the hold on his hand and continued to softly stroke his forehead while they talked quietly about a future they both knew wasn't going to happen.
Suddenly there was a commotion outside his room and the door swung open as Martha and Alexis rushed in with Lanie, Esposito and Ryan following close behind. Kate was confused for a moment before she came to the conclusion that Martha must have called them. And seeing how happy Rick looked among their extended family, she reminded herself to thank his mother properly later. Right now she had to settle for giving Martha a warm smile of gratitude. The older woman returned the smile and squeezed Kate's hand that was still holding Rick's. Alexis took her father's other hand in hers and gave him a tender smile. Kate could see the faint tear tracks on the girl's pale cheeks and it broke her heart when she thought about that carefree young woman who had been going out with her friends earlier. It felt like a lifetime ago when in reality it had been less than an hour.
Kate tuned in to the conversation again just in time to hear Esposito's joke about Rick trying to avoid planning their wedding. An awkward pause followed during which Ryan smacked Esposito in the back of his head and Lanie hissed a sharp "Javi!" Rick smiled, said it was okay, and swiftly changed the subject to the happenings of the precinct, but she had seen the look of disappointment flit across his features. It was gone so quickly that the others probably missed it, but Kate knew her fiancé and knew how excited he had been about the upcoming wedding and their life together.
Then she gets an idea and calls in the nurses
Brings up the chaplain and he says a couple verses
She borrows some rings from the couple next door
Everybody's laughing as the tears fall on the floor
She looks into his eyes, and she says
I want you forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together, and always remember
Whether happy or sad or whatever
We'll still love each other, forever and always
Forever and always, forever and always
While the conversation flowed around her, Kate stayed immersed in her own thoughts, trying to make sense of the seemingly crazy plan forming in her head. She was brought back from her musings when she felt Rick give her hand a squeeze and found a pair of clear blue eyes trained on her face. She felt breathless for a moment under his intense gaze. It seemed as though he was looking right into her soul and could read her mind. With a nod, really just the slightest movement of his head, Rick let her know that he knew exactly what she was thinking and that he agreed wholeheartedly. She felt a brilliant smile spreading on her lips and the corners of his mouth lifted in return. Kate rose gracefully from her seat, leaned in to brush her lips across his and excused herself from the group. She could feel his eyes on her as she walked briskly out the door and straight to the nurses' desk.
The staff knew about Rick's condition and told her to go back to the room while they took care of everything, it would only be a moment. And sure enough, almost as soon as she had taken her place on the uncomfortable plastic chair, there was a soft knock on the door and a man entered. A hush fell over the room as they noticed the entrant but one look at Rick and Kate's faces told them instantly why the hospital chaplain was there. One of the women let out a squeal but it could as well have been Ryan, for all they cared, the couple had eyes only for each other.
Chaplain Price regarded the family for a moment in silence. The nurses had filled him in on the situation and he had to admit he was somewhat apprehensive about the idea at first. But now, looking at the couple in front of him and seeing their obvious commitment and love to one another, he understood them perfectly. So he cleared his throat and asked if everyone was ready.
The service, if you could even call it that, was short and filled with laughter and tears. Laughter came when they had to borrow rings from his doctor and a nurse, their own wedding bands safe in the top drawer of Rick's desk. But when they slipped the rings on and spoke their vows there was no dry eye in the room. When the chaplain finished, they shared their first kiss as a husband and wife and it was soft and sweet and passionate all at the same time. Their family cheered around them and the couple reluctantly separated to accept the congratulations.
True to her nature, Martha announced that she was going to pop out for a bit to get some champagne for the celebration. Kate suspected that there was another reason behind the abrupt departure and that his mother needed a moment alone to let it all sink in. Before Martha could slip out Kate kissed her cheek and reminded her to bring something non-alcoholic so Rick could join them. While they waited for Martha to return, the group continued talking, reminiscing about their weirdest cases and the funniest mishaps.
Sometime later Kate noticed Rick getting more tired. He was quiet for the most part of the conversation, simply lying there with a wistful smile on his face. It was then that Kate realized Martha had been away for longer than a simple trip to a store would require. But before her paranoid mind could think of all the worst-case scenarios, the actress swept in with a bottle of sparkling apple cider and seven plastic cups. After everyone had a drink in their hand, they raised their cups and chorused: "To Rick and Kate!"
Their friends were the first to leave. No-one wanted to make a big scene but the mutual love and respect shined through the quiet goodbyes. Kate walked them out to the corridor where they all took their turn to hug her and made her promise to call them if she needed anything, no matter what time it was. With a grateful smile and a small wave, Kate turned to return to Rick's room but glanced back at her friends' retreating backs just before entering. Her heart broke at the sight of Lanie collapsing in tears into Javier's arms while he and Kevin shared a look of understanding as they grieved for the brother they were so close to losing tonight.
But now was not the time for her to break down. The people inside that room needed her to be strong, so once again she took a deep breath, brushed away the few tears that had escaped without her noticing and pushed the door open.
It seemed that the others were also leaving and she stayed by the door to give them some privacy. In a way she was relieved that Alexis wouldn't be here until the end as she witnessed the heartbreaking sight of the girl bidding her father goodbye. It would be too hard on the child, because that is what she was at that moment, just a child who was about to go through something nobody that young should have to experience. Kate averted her eyes, finding it too difficult to watch the sorrow of that scene, refusing to acknowledge the fact that at some point it would be her turn to say goodbye.
Kate then heard her name being called and looked up to see Martha beckoning for her to join them. She walked up to his bedside and once again took his hand in both of hers while Martha dug through her purse and lifted out an item for them to see. She was confused but a look of recognition flashed in Rick's eyes as he lifted his hand from hers and reached for the small pouch. He told her to hold out a hand and she did so with one eyebrow arched in question. He smiled at the familiar gesture as he turned the bag upside down above her hand and two simple rings tumbled onto her palm.
Kate gasped at the sight of their wedding bands and she lifted her tear-filled eyes to his. Rick nodded once and slipped the borrowed ring from her finger before sliding the new, her, ring on and lifted her hand to his lips. He was about to pull the doctor's ring off his finger but Kate took over before he could finish the task. She gave the ring for Martha to hold and slowly slid on the new one, just staring at his hand for a moment. Married. She was finally married to Richard Castle, her favorite author, her partner and the love of her life. And despite the circumstances, right at that moment she was happier than she ever had been before.
Martha laid a hand on her shoulder and told that they would be heading out. Kate turned as she stood up and embraced the older woman.
"Call me when…"
Martha couldn't finish the sentence and there was no need to, Kate understood and promised to let his mother know if there was any change.
Letting go of Martha, Kate walked around the bed and drew Alexis into a tight embrace. She knew what it was to lose a parent at such a young age and she wanted the girl to know that she could always count on Kate being there for her. She could feel Alexis' tears soaking through her shirt as she held the girl in her arms. Alexis pulled away after a while with a whispered thank you, gave her dad one last hug, and let herself to be led out by her grandmother.
She finishes the vows but the beeps are getting too slow
His voice is almost too low
As he says, I love you forever, forever and always
Please just remember even if I'm not there
I'll always love you, forever and always
Kate sat up with a start. She must have fallen asleep at some point during the night. After their family left, she returned to sit by his side. There was no more need for talking and the couple had been content to simply be together, holding hands and sharing sweet kisses. The last thing she remembered was laying her head on his shoulder and playing with the ring on his finger while he carded the fingers of his other hand through her hair. The soft movement must have lulled her to sleep and she wondered what woke her up.
And then she heard it.
"Kate."
She heard it in his voice and when she lifted her gaze she saw it in his eyes, her own filling with tears immediately. And with a frightening clarity Kate realized that she had held on to the hope that a miracle would happen and they could go home together, that this wouldn't be the end. Just like when they were stuck in the freezer or they were staring at the bomb at the back of the van. Or when she was standing on a bomb and they figured out the code literally at the last second. But this time there would be no miracle and she crumbled under the weight of that realization. She held on to him desperately and she cried into his shoulder while he kept stroking her hair.
"Kate, baby, please don't cry. They are telling me it's time to go, but I need to say a few things first. Please, hear me out."
He wasn't making any sense but Kate didn't point that out and simply nodded telling him to continue.
"Kate, my love, I need you to keep going after I'm gone. And I know that it's such a cliché thing to say but I want you to be happy. I know you'll take care of Alexis and mother, but baby, please let them take care of you, too. Promise me… Promise me that you will be alright."
She sensed how important it was to him so she made the promise and it was one she had every intention of keeping.
Kate knew that they didn't have much time so she smiled through her tears, gave him a tender kiss and confessed her love for him against his lips. Then she leaned down to whisper in his ear.
And just as his eyes closed for the last time, she saw a faint smile on his lips as her words registered.
"I'm pregnant."
And then he was gone.
So, what did you think?
