So like the summary says, this is a bunch of little drabbley things that I have thought of and written down during the last how many years (I don't really want to know, it'll probably scare me). They were fun to write and hopefully fun for you to read. Enjoy.
"Who are you?!" The Voldemort demanded.
"I'm Twiddle Dee." George grinned.
"And I'm Twiddle Doo." Fred grinned.
"We were born in Tennessee." They said together.
"Five years ago." Fred continued on.
"No, it was six." George went along.
"Right. We were born in test tubes."
"I miss my tube."
"Me too."
"It was so warm."
"And we saw such interesting things."
"Yeah, like that one time,"
"When the two nice people,"
"In their pretty white coats,"
"They weren't in them for very long,"
"No, they-"
"Enough!" The Voldemort roared.
"Wow, he does a pretty good impression of a lion." Fred looked awed.
"You think he'd let me make him a mane?" George looked giddy.
"Maybe, he'd probably want it in black though."
"But he's already got so much black."
"Harry, who are they? They've been following us the whole time."
Harry looked behind him to see guys all in black following them a little ways away.
"Oh them, don't worry, their harmless." A cat jumped out of a bush and yowled. One of the black suited guys whipped out a gun and shot the cat six times. "Err, mostly."
It was late in Diagon alley but people were still out and the shops were still open. The entrance from The Leaky Cauldron opened but not many spared it a glance. They would regret it. A figure covered in a black cloak stood there and looked over everything before entering the ally.
The people in Diagon alley froze as the man in black cloak went down the alley. At this time that was generally associated with Death Eaters and dark wizards and witches alike. Though the people in the alley couldn't help but look at the man in disbelief rather than fear. It's just hard to fear someone, even resembling a Death Eater, when they are skipping down Diagon Alley.
Severus Snape stalked down the corridors with a scowl on his face. Rounding a corner he saw Harry Potter coming towards him. With a vicious, but oddly happy sneer he stalked over to him and opened his mouth to deliver scathing comments.
"Oogie Boogie." Snape blinked; what the hell? "He's a sock filled with bugs." Harry said matter-of-factly.
And with that Harry Potter walked off, ignoring the confused Potions Master.
Harry looked around the office confused. He wasn't sure why Gringotts sent him a summons and while he was happy to be out of the Dursley's, he wasn't happy that the order was going to take him to Grimmauld after. He was sure the dark old house was just going to be a constant reminder of the godfather he lost. Sure, he didn't know Sirius that well, but the man had made him smile and gave him hope.
He snapped out of his musings as the office door opened and a goblin came in carrying a small box. Said goblin handed him the box, which he could now tell was a ring box.
"All Sirius Black's will contained for you, his godson, to receive in the event of his death was his lordship and a message for you to 'bring the house up into the light'. While this means you are considered an adult, you will not be able to claim Potter Lordship until you actually come of age. That is all the business Gringotts has with you for the moment, you may leave."
While Harry wasn't sure the shock that the rapid, one-sided conversation gave him would leave anytime soon, he was pretty sure the impatient goblin would spear him if he didn't get out of the bank.
Walking back to the lobby, Harry opened the box and pulled the ring out. It was old and slightly tarnished, with the Black's crest in relief on it. He was hesitant to put it on, but maybe, if he put it on, he could do what Sirius started and make the house of Black a house of smiles and fun. With a decisive nod, Harry slipped the ring onto his finger and walked out of the bank to meet his guards back to Grimmauld.
"Wotcher Harry." A pink haired woman waved to him, the tall black man standing next to her nodding in greeting.
"Tonks, Kingsley." Harry greeted. "You're my guards today?"
"Yup," Tonks linked her arm around his and started leading him down the alley. "I volunteered, had some stuff to pick up in the alley anyway. But apparently Mad-eye didn't think I was enough and so Dumbledore had Kingsley come with."
As Harry was about to respond he felt Tonks tense and instead scanned the alley to see what caused her to do so. It wasn't hard to find; he had enough fights with Draco Malfoy to recognize him easily and his mother still looked like there was something nasty under her nose. He stayed quiet; maybe they could pass by without a scene.
"Potter! Come here!"
Harry jumped slightly at the unexpected yell. They had almost made it past the blondes and he had thought they were in the clear. He turned to his school nemesis, Tonks' arm not leaving his, and saw that the other boy didn't want to wait for him to actually go over and was already stalking towards the group.
"What do you want Malfoy?"
"Give me your hand!"
Harry's mouth dropping in shock before noticing the blonde ferret's gaze was on the Lord Black ring. He felt a mischievous smile curl on his lips. Well, he had decided to change the view of the Black family, might as well start now. "Why Malfoy, are you proposing to me? I never knew you felt that way!"
Draco Malfoy sputtered, face going red before glaring and stalking back to his mother who quickly ushered him away from the scene he had made.
"Oh, that was brilliant Harry!" Tonks laughed out. "And here I thought I was going to have to hold you back from cursing the ponce."
6-2-4-4-2
"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and business."
Harry contemplated the phone receiver in his hand. He didn't know if the booth was connected to anything else that would tell someone who was coming and he really didn't want it common knowledge he was in the ministry; he wasn't fond of being mobbed. He huffed. The only reason he was taking this way in was to avoid notice; he just wanted to talk to Kingsley dammit.
"Oz Fruitfeathers, here to see a friend."
"Thank you," said the cool female voice. "Visitor, please take the badge and attach it to the front of your robes."
Harry waited for the badge to slide out of the coin shoot before clipping it to his robes.
"Visitor to the Ministry, you are required to submit to a search and present your wand for registration at the security desk, which is located at the far end of the Atrium."
When he arrived in the atrium, he kept his head down and made for the elevators. He of course had to stop at the wand check, but the clerk was bored and didn't even look at him, so he felt he might actually be able to do this. Well, until his elevator doors were halted be a hand and Arthur Weasley slipped in to share it.
"Harry!" Arthur scolded in a harsh whisper, eyes darting to the other two elevator occupants to make sure they didn't hear. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm not Harry, I'm Oz; and I'm here to see Kingsley."
"What? Harry, what are you talking about?"
Harry pulled off his badge and handed it to Arthur. The older red-head looked down in confusion at the badge, where 'Oz Fruitfeathers, Fraternization' was proudly printed.
(Italics came from the book)
Harry glared at the snake faced man as he tried to both keep his wand pointed at his enemy and support Neville, who had been hit with jelly legs curse. Why a Death Eater used that curse, he didn't know, but none-the-less, Neville couldn't stand on his own.
Voldemort laughed at his archenemy as Order members and aurors apparated in. He shot the dark mark up into the arm before hissing something to Harry in parseltongue before appareting away.
"So what did he say?" Ron asked as he came up to help support Neville.
Harry raised an eyebrow at his best friend, "Something I need to think about before putting out there in 'share time'."
"Oh Merlin, you're Harry Potter!"
"Really?" Harry gave a mock gasp. "Thank you so much for telling me! I was having a rather bad identity crisis before I met you; I just couldn't figure out who I was. You're a life saver, really. I'm going to name my first and second child after you. You're awesome; don't let anyone tell you different." With a large smile to the confused wizard, Harry continued on his way to Diagon Alley's entrance.
"I wish the goblins would come and take you away right now!"
Harry glared at the snake faced Dark Lord. He didn't think his wish would work, after all, he had seen goblins and they were anything like the ones he read in 'Labyrinth'. But hey, it was worth a shot and if nothing else, it would get the Dark Lord to start mocking him and give him a breather. Only to his immense shock, and most likely Voldemort's too, little creatures appeared and then vanished, taking the Dark Lord with them.
"Bloody hell, it actually worked."
"Indeed it did Harry." Harry jumped and spun around, pointing his wand at the new potential threat. "We don't normally get people wishing away anything but toddlers, but you did say the words."
Harry swallowed, lowering his wand slightly, if this really was who he thought it was, then he didn't stand a chance, wand ready or not. "You're the Goblin King." Jareth smiled indulgently. "So then Voldemort is in your castle."
"Yes, he is. And of course you're more than welcome to run my maze to get him back. That is if you don't want this crystal." Jareth held out his hand and a clear crystal appeared in it. "This crystal that can show you your dreams."
"No thanks, I've already seen something like that, only it was a mirror, so I'm good. But I also don't want him back. You can keep him. I hope you feed him to something carnivorous."