"Those Eyes" (Point of View: Peter)

He's staring. His hungry eyes filled with liquor, drugs and need. His fingers are gliding along the neck of the guitar like ice...his icy blue eyes, piercing into mine. How often has he done this to me? The certain look in his eyes is all but a green light for me to go ahead and give him what he wants tonight. Me.

Why I am willing to repeatedly give myself to him is a mystery. I am drawn to him as a moth is to light. I'm the ugly, powdery bug and he's the sheer brilliance that lights up my life, filling me with love and hate at the same time. Just like that moth, even though the light hurts, and could kill me, I still risk it every time just to be close to him. He knows I need him yet he uses me. Whenever a random groupie won't suffice he takes me in and has his fun, then leaves me feeling empty inside. But for the little while that we are together, he is with me and making love only to me so whatever disappointment lies ahead is still worth it.

After the final song, Carl stumbles off stage per usual with such a swagger that comes natural to him, but can be thought of as intentional as it's driving me wild inside. He bumps into me as he passes by. When we make contact he grabs my wrist and flings my body against the sidewall just past the curtain. His grip is firm but it isn't immobilizing me. I know that I can easily escape the worn-out guitarist in front of me but that is the last thing I want to do.

Those eyes, filled with such need and desire I can't help but feel small and weak even though I am taller and can easily be dominating. My member is awakening as I'm being pressed against the wall and as Carl's body is close to mine, feeling his pulsating body heat transfer off his body and onto mine. He presses his lips onto mine; not a firm nor passionate kiss because he just spent the past hour singing and giving them enough exercise; just a light kiss on the lips and remarks, "Great show, yeah?"

I was going to reply, "the music part or the constant looks you were giving me?" but I was still a bit surprised about the bold move by him, cornering and kissing me in front of, well, everyone. Sure Gary and John have grown accustomed to our random displays of affection but Carl normally wasn't the one to make such moves in public. The bedroom was another story.

Actually, it normally wasn't a bedroom; it was usually a bathroom, dressing room, whichever privately enclosed space was closest to the spot where Carl decided he wanted me. After an intense staring contest Carl stepped away but took my arm and led me to our dressing room.

Barely making it through the doorway before I could suppress myself any longer, I fling my arms around him and fervently kiss him, trying to suck the life out of any walls he has up keeping his love from me. He kicks the door shut behind us and quickly runs his hands down to my waist grabbing my hips and crashing his pelvis up against mine. He moans my name and begins to return the urgent kisses. Kisses filled with lust and desire, though, not love and a need for love as mine always are.

But for the small time it feels as if he needs this as much as I, until he grasps the button of my jeans and forcefully pulls them down. His need is so great that he lowers me onto to the floor so he can take me immediately. He rapidly strips down as I reach for the condoms and as I put one on him the look in his eyes have become even more intense and full of passion that he's about to share with me. His moan as I slide my hand down his length almost makes me cum immediately but I stop myself. I need to feel whole again.

I know it'll be the same as always; he'll be done with me and throw away his feelings like the used condom. No declarations of love or snuggling afterwards; his stare turns empty and back to it's dilated state as he leaves to find more alcohol or other substances to keep him awake.

Whoever said that the eyes are the window to the soul should get their arse over here and decipher what the fuck Carl is thinking because I sure would like to know.

Review if you like!

Cassie x (I have more Libertines slash on a page, it's in my profile)