"So, you guys really know that little about each other?" Gwen asked, for the third time that day. Owen sighed.
"With Torchwood, you really don't get that much time to bond." Ianto told her.
"Sorry, sorry." She said, shaking her head. "It's just hard to believe that, working together, you don't know anything about each other." Jack had overheard the whole conversation. He thought about it, and then did something completely unexpected, and probably completely stupid. He shut down every machine in the Hub, leaving only the lights on.
"What's going on?" Ianto asked him, looking around in shock.
"I can't get a signal." Tosh informed them, tapping at her computer keyboard viciously.
"No you can't, Tosh. Because I've shut it all down."
"You've done WHAT?!" Ianto exclaimed at the same time as Tosh started "But I was…" Jack held up his hands.
"Nope. Don't wanna hear it. Because Gwen's right," Gwen smiled smugly. Ianto wanted to be sick. "We do need to get to know each other. Everyone. Board room. Now."
*
Jack handed round whisky. "Boeshane Peninsula finest." He told them, grinning mysteriously. He winked at Ianto as he gave him his glass. "Right. This is how it's gunna work. Four questions, to find out the maximum about each other. And, the twist…" He pulled out a big piece of machinery. "Best lie detector ever." Ianto looked at it. He felt like he had seen it before, but he wasn't sure where. "If something's untrue, the light turns red. Trust me, even think of lying, and I'll know." He grinned again. "You get to ask each person one question each."
"Wait." Ianto stopped him. Jack looked at the younger man. "Are you gunna be joining in?" Jack thought about it.
"Yes…" Ianto grinned at him. Jack thought it was worth it just to see that smile, but then he added something. "But, I have an option to say that I can't answer a question, or anyone else for that matter can't answer a question. OK?" He asked. They all nodded. "Gwen. Start. Pick anyone to answer four questions from each one of the team."
"Hmm…" Gwen thought about it. "Ianto." Ianto groaned.
"Shit."
"Okay then!" Jack said, grinning widely. "So, who wants to go first…?"
"Me!" Owen said. "I've got a few questions for tea-boy…"
"Damn." Ianto muttered.
"Remember Owen, I've got a right to say that he doesn't have to answer." Ianto smiled at Jack.
"Yeah, whatever. So, tea boy. When was the first time you shagged Jack?" Ianto smiled. Jack looked at Ianto. I can tell him to stick it? Jack mouthed at Ianto. The Welshman shook his head slightly.
"Okay…" Ianto started. "After Suzie died…for the last time."
"No way." Owen said, staring at the light. It was green. "God."
"Me next!" Tosh said, gleefully. "Hmm…"
"Is this gunna be another one about mine and Jack's sex life?"
"Probably." Tosh grinned. "No! How do you make your amazing coffee?" Ianto looked at Jack.
"No, sorry, Tosh. I know, and that's all that's important. If you ever need to know, I'll tell you. But for now, it's under wraps."
"Damn. Do I get another go?"
"Sure." Jack said, leaning back in his chair.
"First kiss?"
"God, why do you people find us so fascinating? It's like we're a different species!"
"Well, you are." Ianto pointed out.
"That's so not the point." Jack said.
"Er…after the run in with the cannibals."
"No!" Jack exclaimed. "In here, after…"
"THAT WAS CPR!" Ianto told him heatedly.
"On what planet? If that's CPR, I would love to be a doctor!" Tosh just laughed at them. They were like an old married couple.
"Fine, fine. Gwen, your turn. Ask Ianto anything."
"What would you do if Jack was unfaithful to you?"
"Kick his butt." Ianto said, immediately.
"Like to see you try." Jack joked, but he was giving Gwen a questioning stare. It seemed like she'd had that question planned for a long time.
"Jack." Owen said. "Your turn to ask Ianto anything."
"I know everything about him!"
"OK then, since you think you know everything about us, you don't get a question! For anyone!" Owen told him smugly.
"I agree." Ianto said, taking a long drink of whisky.
"Fine." Jack grumbled. "Ianto, pick someone."
"Tosh."
"OK, Tosh!" Jack beamed.
"Most like to have sex with out of the whole team?" Gwen asked her.
"Owen." She said, quickly. "What?" She muttered, when she saw they were all staring at her. "No point lying."
"I value your honesty." Jack told her, shaking his head.
"Tosh, I…" Owen started.
"Doesn't matter. Next question." Tosh smiled. Ianto's heart went out to her. He knew what it was like to feel like your heart was on a string, being pulled in all different directions. He knew what it was to have to hide your feelings.
"First kiss, ever?" Ianto tried to steer away from Owen. Tosh grimaced.
"Oh, it was with this guy…in my class at school. Tom. He was disgusting! It was a dare."
"How old?" Ianto asked her, smiling.
"No way, Yan. One question each." Jack told him, sternly.
"OK, that'll be my question." Owen said, surprising Ianto. "What? Couldn't think of a good one anyway."
"10."
"Toshiko Sato, you dirty girl!" Jack teased her.
"Owen now." She said.
"Last shag?" Ianto asked him. He found this fascinating.
"Girl in a pub, two nights ago. Gorgeous, only 20 years old…Natalie. I think." Ianto laughed.
"Last kiss with someone you really cared about?" Tosh asked him, smiling.
"Diane." Owen said, simply. Tosh internally kicked herself for being so stupid. She could work any machinery, crack any codes, but she didn't know how to deal with people. That was wrong.
"Hmm…" Gwen considered it. "Who would you least like to have sex with out of everyone in the team?" Ianto groaned, knowing what was coming.
"Tea-boy." He had to expect it. He was shocked when the light turned red. Jack whistled.
"Owen, you little liar!" Jack grinned. Of course it would be Owen who would test it. Or maybe he wasn't aware of his feelings.
"What?"
"So you have a thing for our Ianto then?"
"No! But, I guess there is someone I wouldn't like to do it with more." Owen downed his whisky, and slammed the glass down on the table. "Jack." Jack tried to look offended to hide his amusement.
"Really? I'm hurt. I'm really not that bad. Ask Ianto, he'll –"
"I don't think they need to know that, Jack." Ianto said, clearing his throat loudly. Jack nodded, but he wasn't done with his fun.
"So you'd really do Ianto then?" Gwen asked Owen.
"Sure. Any day." Ianto's eyes widened so much they nearly popped out of his head into his whisky glass. Jack choked on his. Owen didn't even look ashamed. Ianto slipped Jack a note.
What was in that whisky you gave us?
Jack grinned.
In theirs. We've got the regular stuff. I added a bit to theirs. Makes you tell the truth.
Ianto chuckled.
So Owen really wants to do me?
Jack smiled.
Looks like it. Don't blame him. You are very do-able…
Thanks, sir. But still…Owen?!
"Gwen." Tosh said.
"Me first!" Owen said. "Best snog you've had." He asked her, smiling.
"Ever?" Gwen's eyes lit up.
"Ever." Ianto confirmed. He wanted to hear this. Wanted to know why she looked so damn pleased with herself. Please don't be…he thought. Don't be…
"Jack."