- Konoha's #1 Hyperactive Ninja -
What happens when the number one hyperactive ninja discovers coffee? Will the desperate attempts of his friends and hokage to keep him away from coffee prove successful, or will he wreck havoc on Konoha?
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Hello people! This is DoodleMonstah, back with an awesome new story!
I don't own Naruto. (Or do I...?)
...
(Nah, I don't.)
Takes place a few weeks after the failed Sasuke retrieval arc.- Chapter 1 -
Naruto was grinning while eating instant Ramen for breakfast, when his door was knocked down. In strolled Sakura, and as usual, she was mad at Naruto about something.
Naruto rubbed the back of his head, thinking, "I didn't even speak to her yet! How's she already angry? And does she know how much it costs every time she knocks my door down?!"
But out loud he just said happily, "Hey, Sakura-chan, what are you doing here?"
Sakura didn't really know what she was doing here. She had been fighting with her parents and had used going over to Naruto's apartment as an excuse to escape. Not only that, but this way she could vent her frustrations - on Naruto! Win-win situation! Well, for Sakura, anyways. Not so much for Naruto.
Ignoring his question, she said, "Naruto, is ramen all you ever eat?"
Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Well, on missions, I eat ration bars..."
"Come on Naruto, we're finding you a new food obsession!" She said angrily, relieved she had a way to vent her frustration.
"What? Hey, what's wrong with ramen, Sakura?!" Naruto demanded.
"It's unhealthy and full of fat!"
"It has all of the food groups except for dairy! And I added dairy in!" Naruto exclaimed, pointing at a milk carton.
"That milk's expired!"
Naruto looked at the carton of milk, before hearing his stomach rumble.
"Oh."
Naruto ran to the bathroom.
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Naruto sulked as Sakura pulled him through the streets of Konoha, angrily stomping as she held the back of his collar with an iron grip. She hadn't even let him finish his instant ramen!
"Aww, Sakura-chan..." He whined.
"I know what you're thinking! This isn't a date, Naruto!"
"But I wasn't-"
"Idiot!"
Naruto rubbed his head where she had just hit him.
"Oww, Sakura-chaaaann" he complained.
"Pervert!" She yelled for no reason as she bashed him on the head again.
This time, Naruto just stayed silent, as he wondered if his teammate was on her 'time of the month'.
For some reason, Sakura was even more angry now, seeing that Naruto, who was usually loud and cheery didn't even say anything.
She stuffed a dango skewer in his mouth. "Here, Naruto, try this dango."
"Mmerghhm! Mrraaahh!" The dango skewer stabbed the inside of his mouth.
"Baugh!" He shouted as he spit out the dango skewer. He had to admit that it was good, but it didn't compare to ramen. Not to mention he had a stab mark in his mouth.
"Nope. Ramen's better."
Sakura glared at Naruto, before dragging him to another stand. "Here Naruto, try a bean bun."
Naruto's eyes widened as she shoved the entire bun into his mouth, causing him to choke. "Augggg!"
He started coughing, his face becoming more and more blue. "Augg- cough- mraugh! -cough, cough- augg!"
Finally, Sakura raised her fist and gave Naruto a super powered punch on the back, causing him to cough out the bean bun he was choking on. The force of the punch caused a crater, and when the dust rose, Naruto was lying in the crator, rubbing his wound as he said, "Oww... Nope, Ramen's better."
Sakura's eye twitched slightly, before she grabbed Naruto's collar and started dragging him to another food stand.
"Sakuraaa, I like ramen, I don't want a new food obsession..." He complained.
"Quiet Naruto!" She yelled. "Ramen is unhealthy to eat every meal of every day of every week!"
"But dango and bean buns arn't that healthy either," Naruto said.
"Well, isn't there ANY food that you ever wanted to try?"
Naruto thought for a second before he grinned. "Well, there was a drink that I always wanted to try. I saw the third hokage drink it once. He said it was a western drink called coffee or something."
Sakura, relieved by the fact that Naruto wanted to try something, ANYTHING, that was not ramen, started dragging Naruto to a well known beverage stand.
"Augh! Sakura! Let go of my collar already!"
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Sakura watched Naruto in surprise as he downed a third cup of coffee. He was becoming more and more jittery, but Sakura brushed this off as normal Naruto-ish behaviour.
"Alright! I wanna try to the iced coffee next!" Naruto shouted.
As the coffee stand owner prepared the coffee, Naruto fidgeted impatiently, tapping his fingers, bouncing his legs, and prying at his collar.
"Would you sit still already?!" Sakura shouted at Naruto as she set her iced tea onto the counter.
Naruto who hadn't realized he was fidgeting, looked down at his legs which were bouncing up and down. They bouncing immediately stopped as Naruto rubbed the back of his head as he grinned. "Eh heh, sorry Sakura!"
Ten minutes later, Naruto had tried every single flavour and variant of coffee. All in all, he had drunk 15 cups of coffee.
He was practically jumping up and down as he set down his fifteenth cup of coffee. "I LOVE COFFEE!" He shouted loudly, before turning to Sakura and rambling a mile per minute.
"Hey Sakura! You should try a coffee too! the iced coffee is really good but so is the normal coffee but its really hot and it's a bit bitter but all you have to do is put a whole truckload of sugar in! And then there's the mocha! The mochas really good it's really sweet and-"
"Naruto I can't understand what you're saying! You're talking too fast!" Sakura shouted angrily.
"What?! I'm not talking fast am I talking fast I don't think I'm talking really fast maybe your the one that's talking slo-"
BOOM!
"Idiot!" Sakura shouted as she punched his head, effectively silencing the blonde. She didn't know what he was doing, but she passed it off as normal Naruto-ish behaviour once again.
Naruto was whimpering as he crawled out of the steaming crater.
xxXxx
Naruto stood on the hokage monument posing dramatically, as the wind blew through his hair (also dramatically, of course.) With coffee, it felt like he was 100% awake! It was like he had SUPER SENSES!
"Hey, this must be why the third hokage was so strong!" Naruto exclaimed loudly. "Because he drank COFFEE!"
Of course, that assumption was completely wrong, but Naruto doesn't need to know that.
xxXxx
Sakura had come to tell team 9 the great news first. Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji had been training when Sakura arrived.
"You did WHAT?!" Ino asked incredulously.
"I helped Naruto find a new food craze, because all he eats is ramen."
Choji's interest was peaked when he heard the word 'food'. "What's his new food craze?" Choji asked in surprised voice.
"It's coffee."
For a few seconds, complete silence. Sakura looked around nervously at their faces. They all had shock and dread painted on their faces. Even Shikamaru's usually bored face looked worried.
"W-What's wrong?" she asked nervously.
"Naruto's new food craze is coffee..." Ino trailed off.
Shikamaru, being a genius, knew exactly how to explain the situation. "Believe it or not, from what I observed, ramen seems to sooth and calm Naruto. Coffee however, is known to cause the opposite effect, by giving the drinker more energy. In cases where the drinker already has a large supply of energy, this results in extreme hyperactivity." he deadpanned.
"But, Naruto's already hyperactive WITHOUT coffee..." Sakura trailed off.
"Exactly" Ino said with a pointedly.
Choji, being an expert in all food and beverages, slowly asked, "How many cups of coffee did he drink?"
"...fifteen," replied the pale-faced Sakura, remembering his strange behaviour at the coffee stand.
Suddenly they all heard loud singing as an orange figure was jumping on the hokage monuments.
"WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY! ding ding ding a ding ding a ling ling! ding ding ding a ding ding a ling ling! WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY! " Naruto sang loudly as he was jumping in his coffee induced craze, precariously close to falling off the monument.
Shikamaru shook his head as he deadpanned, "Konoha's #1 hyperactive ninja. Troublesome."
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How's that it for the first Chapter!
And...
What does the fox say? Ding ding ding a ding ding a ling ling!
Heh heh.
By the way, in the poll, Naruto: Banned from Ramen took second place! (Meaning after I write this story, I'll write Naruto: Banned from Ramen!)
Oh, and by the way, you like the cover image I made for this one? Naruto's standing on a giant coffee looking wacko, Sakura looks like she's raging, there's people running in terror, and explosions in the background! (What every cover image needs, he he)
Fav, follow, review and get ready for more Chapters!
^-^ !