Disclaimer: I don't own R&I.
AN: Set within 4x13: Tears of a Clown. This is my first R&I fic. I hope you enjoy it.
"Just don't say anything. Just wear it, see how it feels."
Jane puts the ring on, but the weight on her finger is heavy. The weight isn't only on her finger though. It's weighing on her mind, and she feels the heaviness settle all over her body as well.
She feels an icy grip inhabit her chest, making it feel as though every breath is coming and going through one of those tiny red coffee stirrer straws.
Her mind is in a fog. Unrelenting thoughts beginning with "what if" swirl inside, gaining speed and spiraling out of control.
She can't figure it out. She loves Casey. But she doesn't want to give up her career or ask him to give up his. One of them will end up resenting the other all too soon.
She doesn't realize it, but somehow she ends up in the morgue in front of Maura.
Maura, seeing her friend's almost wild expression, leads her into her office and sits her on her couch.
"Jane?" Maura tries in a normal tone, but it doesn't work. "JANE?" She tries in a louder tone and shakes her shoulder.
Jane snaps out of it when she feels someone shaking her. She looks around and sees that she's with Maura in the blonde's office.
"Maura? How'd I get here?" Jane asks confused.
Maura shakes her head. "I don't know, but you seemed to be on the brink of a panic attack. What's wrong?"
Jane shakes her head trying to clear it. "N-nothing. I...I..." She holds her hand up, showing Maura the ring.
"Oh." Maura says resigned. "I guess this means you're leaving."
Jane looks at Maura before shaking her head once again. "No. I didn't answer. I was just...trying it out, seeing how it feels." She shrugs. "It's so pretty." She says with false enthusiasm.
Maura kind of nods. "How does it feel?" She asks almost clinically.
Jane looks at it for a minute, gathering her thoughts. "It makes me feel...uncomfortable."
"Uncomfortable?" Maura questions with a raised eyebrow. That was not the answer she'd been expecting.
Jane nods. "Everything just feels heavy, and I feel like something is inside my chest, clenching so tightly that it hurts to breathe." She explains looking at her hands, playing with the foreign object that started all these feelings.
Maura watches her best friend. She sees what Jane is saying. "Will you try something for me?" She asks quietly.
Jane looks up at the doctor and nods. "Sure."
Maura pauses for a few seconds. "Take the ring off."
Jane looks confused. "What? Why?" She asks curiously.
"Just...call it an experiment." Maura answers cryptically.
Jane nods, fingering the ring for a few seconds before slowly twisting and pulling the silver band off.
Instantly, she feels the weight lifted and she can breathe normally. She looks at Maura shocked. "Why...how...?"
Maura shrugs. "Everything you described seemed like a physical manifestation of your feelings after putting the ring on your finger. It only seemed logical that removing it would alleviate the symptoms."
Jane nods but remains silent, thinking over what Maura said. "I guess I have my answer." She says quietly, with a mixture of pain and relief coloring her tone.
Maura can only nod.
AN: Please let me know what you think. :)