Hey everyone, sorry I haven't been updating a lot. I was

sick for a couple of weeks then I had writers block for a while. Now the idea has finally come to me. I will hopefully post every week, if I don't I will post two chapters the next week. I hope this gets more views and please review to tell me if this is better or worse. I hope this chapter is long enough to satisfy you. How about a deal, if I get what I think is enough views and reviews then I will post another chapter this week. Lets start chapter one.

Chapter one

"Hello… Hello is this damn recording shit working? Oh, good it is. Well I may as well introduce what the fuck im doing this is basically a bunch shit ass recordings that no one will give a fuck about, hopefully you will keep listening to these as these tapes are for entertainment purposes only. So basically, I will do one of these each week and post it so you guys can see it. Unfortunately I have to listen to it and write it down until I can put it as a video where you can listen to it like an E-book. So I am not going to start on week one because first of all that was two weeks ago, and second is because im pretty sure you guys don't want to be bored to death with the lack of shit that went down. So let's begin week one.

NOTE: the story will be in first person so it will be as if he is telling the story to you, which I basically am. Im such a dumb fuck sometimes *sigh*.

Monday 9:57 AM

It was a nice day in Ponyville, the birds were singing and there were no clouds in sight. Obviously I didn't know this yet as I was so fucking lazy I didn't get my ass out of bed. 'Ethan, are you up yet?' I heard Twilight's voice come from upstairs and sighed. 'For fucks sake, can I not get some sleep. It's a goddamn Saturday' I muttered under my breath, I ignored Twilight and tried going back to sleep. Just as I felt myself falling asleep I felt the covers being dragged off of my body. 'Da fuck!?' I sat up and covered myself as Twilight dragged the covers fully off of me and onto the floor. 'Twilight get the fuck out! I naked here!' Twilight looked up from the covers she dragged onto the floor, saw me covering myself and blushed. 'Oh im so sorry, I didn't know' she slowly backed out of the room and magically closed the door. 'Jesus Christ why can't I just sleep some more' I looked at the clock across from my bed. 'Ah now I see why she won't let me sleep' I found out at that moment that it was just gone 10 am. As I got dressed I found myself thinking about how the fuck I got here and who the fuck sent me here and why. Did I do something horrible before I came here? Did I drink someone's favourite drink, then piss in the bottle and put it back. If I did im pretty sure they deserved it. I mean, I am a brony after all and I admit this place is pretty fucking awesome. But. The characters aren't actually… how should I put this… uhm… well they aren't what you would expect. Normally you would expect them to be like "Oh we are best friends we don't fight or say bad things. And most of all we want world peace and the magic of friendship everywhere." Well if you thought that, then good job, you just earned a space on my 'to kill list' so far on the list there is all of the people who just got that wrong. And fuck I did it again, I always get off track, now where was I? Oh yeah, well I will give a description of what the ponies are like here. Two words. "FUCKING AWESOME!" the reason for that is because most of the words that I use are the ones they don't know what im talking about. Everyone except Twilight that is, she just reads my mind to find out, which pisses me off. Anyway lets get back on track.

Description of Twilight Sparkle:

She is as stubborn as fuck when it comes to an argument and will rarely back down. She will do anything to manipulate you, I know first hand. She wanted me to do this big errand which involved me running to Canterlot and back, I said 'fuck you, do it yourself you queer bucket' then she said if I didn't do it she would get everypony not to have sex with me someday. I mean, what the fuck! Even though I am in a different world, beastiality is still wrong on so many levels.

Description of Rarity:

Rarity is literally the same as in the show except she is much less of a snob than what people think.

Description of Fluttershy:

Fluttershy has changed quite a bit in my opinion but that's up to you, she is still shy but not as much. She is also trying to find out what my secret fetish is.

Description of Rainbow Dash:

Rainbow Dash is a hell of a lot more competitive than in the show but a lot less boastful overall she is a really good friend to have.

Description of Applejack:

Applejack is everything you expect her to be, honest, hard-working and will be there to help you no matter what. She and I don't see each other much (mostly because I can't get my lazy ass over there).

Description of Pinkie Pie

Pinkie Pie is… well… hard to explain, she does break the laws of physics most of the time and she is a really fun pony to party with, luckily no one has upset her since I have been here. I just hope the rumours aren't true.

So anyway back to what was doing. So yeah after I got dressed I went into the living room/bookshelf area and saw Twilight using her magic to stack books in alphabetical order on the top shelf. 'Im sorry for coming in like that, I only wanted you awake' she looked at me after stacking the last book on the shelf. I walked over to her and began to stroke her back. She smiled and she made a funny noise, which sounded like she was enjoying it. 'You like that?' she shook her head no. See what did I tell you stubborn as fuck. 'You are enjoying it otherwise you wouldn't be making noises which sound like your getting –MPHM!' I was interrupted as Twilight put a hoof over my mouth. 'Ok you win I was enjoying it' I smiled at the victory. ' A little' she added with a smirk. I shook my head and walked over to the front door, opened it and stepped outside. To be honest there wasn't much for me to do that day so I decided to go to Sugarcube Corner and get a cupcake from Pinkie. I was stopped by a noise that was getting louder. It came from above me. I looked up and saw a certain cyan blue Pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail spiralling towards me. 'Oh shit! You gotta be kidding me!' Rainbow Dash hit me like a fucking ton of bricks dropped from a fucking high building. I looked to where Rainbow Dash had landed to see her right wing bent at an angle. 'Aw fuck what should I do?' I asked myself. END OF TAPE 1

Hey guys I hope you liked this first chapter of my new story. This is a new twist that I am adding, a big event will happen at the end of a chapter and you guys have to tell me which option my character should use.

Options:

Take Rainbow Dash to the Ponyville hospital.

Get up and walk away.

Lie there like a lazy fuck.

Whichever one gets the highest vote will be the option that gets chosen. Once again thanks for reading this story and I hope I can be fucked to continue it. By the way there will probably be excessive swearing and my character can get quite dirty minded, as you will soon find out.

BYE XD!