One week after voldemort "dies"…
Harry and Ginny were walking around the lake near the school when Ginny spotted something floating on the far side.
'Hey Harry, what's that, over there floating?'
'I don't know Ginny. Let's go see'.
So Harry and Ginny skipped over to see what this mysterious thing was.
GASP!
'OMG! Harry! Its Dumbledore's body! I can't believe it.'
'Oh Ginny! Look! He's alive! He's just going for swims… wait a second! He's naked ewww, Ginny cover your eyes!'
'No Harry. I like it. That's sexy look how wrinkly his body is, man I wish you were like that Harry.'
'Ginny that's ok. Because I have a confession to make. I'm in love with Hermione.'
At that moment Hermione walked up to the lake hand in hand with Fred Weasly.
'Fred! Oh I thought you were dead!'
'No Harry. I was only pretending because the giants were bagging me for being such a Ranga.'
'See Harry. I love Fred.' Said Hermione
'What!!' said Fred 'I don't love you Hermione I love Ginny.
Fred ran over to Ginny and started to make out with her but she pulled away.
'Ewww Fred! I don't love you I love Dumbledore.'
'Sorry but I'm just to cool for you. I have such a devastating history that I'm just going to go hide in the forest and sit my wrist.' said Dumbledore.
Everybody was staring. Dumbledore was in front of them naked.
So Dumbledore went and sat at the edge of the forest with his legs wide open so that everybody had a clear view of his genitals.
Then Harry woke up.
'Oh! It was all a dream…'
Then in walked Voldemort naked.
'Morning love got you some coffee'
And he handed Harry the coffee.
Harry sipped the coffee and looked at Voldemort,
'I was wondering... why don't you have a nose?'
Voldermort shuddered and looked at Haryy.
'When I was younger all my friends said all the cool people were doing it, like Michael Jackson, so I cut it off.'
Harry laughed at him, before walking to him and pushing their faces together. He began making out with Voldemort on his bed, just as Harry was about to take off his clothes, he heard Ron yelling his name.
'Harry, you're making out with your pillow.'
'Oh'
'Good dream then?'
'Yes Ron, it was about you.' He lied.
Harry sat up and looked at Ron in the eye,
'I think I love you.'
They started making out and then Neville came and was like,
'OMG, I want in on this action!'
As Neville joined Ron stopped and yelled,
'No Harry! I love Ginny!'
So he ran out of the bedroom, down the stairs to the girls dormitory. Ron moved close to Ginny and smiled, starting to kiss her. As he did Hermionie walked in and slapped Ron in the face,
'I love Ginny!' she cried.
As she began to make out with Ginny, Ginny moved away and said,
'Uhh, no I love...um... DUMBLEDORE!'
So she runs up the stairs into Dumbledore's office. She finds him sitting behind his desk.
'Dumbledore, I love you!'
But Dumbledore, and everyone else knew, he was way too cool for her. He walked around the desk and laid a bony old hand on her shoulder,
'Ginny, I'm sorry but I'm just way too cool for you."
So she ran to her dorm crying.
Meanwhile, Voldemort and the six whore-cruxes were plotting there revenge to get back at Neville for cutting off Nagini's head. The group decided Voldy should go and make out with Harry, to make Neville jealous.
So Voldemort, or Voldy, as he was commonly called teleported to the boys bedroom at Hogwarts. He saw Harry by himself, Neville was in the toilet. Voldy walked to Harry and said,
"I've wanted this for so long."
'Me too.' Harry replied. And they started making out.
After they had been going for five minutes straight Neville came back in the room. What he saw made him go...
GASP
"YOU BITCH HARRY" he ran to the window and jumped, falling to an inevitable death. Harrry started crying as the one he loved just jumped out a window while Voldy smiled, before teleporting away again. Harry, crying and upset, goes to Ron. Ron says,
'It's OK, I'll love you.'
But just before they kiss, Hermionie walks in and yells,
'YOU KILLED NEVILLE YOU BITCH!'
Then professor Mgonagal walks in and goes,
'I want in on this action!'
And then everyone jumps out the same window because they just pictured her naked. Then Mgonagal rapes all the dead witches and wizards including Voldy, but he's not really dead. Then Voldy kills all the muggles etc but leaves all the death eaters and of course the Children of the Whore-cruxes (Vicy and Joe) Then he goes to them crying,
'Harry is dead, it's all my fault.'