Oh, how I pity you demigods.
According to my mortal children-Will, Kayla, and Austin-it is not uncommon for demigods to have unwelcome visions when they sleep. So of course Zeus had to add these horrible nightmares to my punishment list.
Tonight's was especially bad.
I stood in Georgina's room in the Waystation, but it was broken, old, covered in cobwebs and shrouded in darkness. As if the thought of the little girl did not bring me enough guilt already. I had caused Josephin and Hemithea so many problems, and on top of that we all had to deal with the fact that I may or may not be her godly parent.
A single ray of silvery light shone down on the middle of the room, like a spotlight following the lead in a play. What was encircled in the light broke my heart more than anything I had encountered since becoming a mortal.
There, on his hands and knees, was Hyacinthus, his fingers twisting tightly into the carpet as blood gushed from the wound in his head. With the struggle of Atlas holding up the skies, he lifted his gaze to mine. Tears fell from his violet eyes and left glistening streaks across his face.
"Apollo," he gasped, his voice nothing more than a breathless whisper. "Why did you do this to me? You said you would protect me." He hung his head and sobbed. The sound of it was like taking an icicle to the heart.
I stretched out my arms to bring him close to me so I could offer him any sort of consolation, but it seemed the farther I reached the farther away he got.
"You won't be able to get to him," said a voice next to me. I turned.
Commodus stood at my shoulder, eighteen years old again, looking just as he did the day his father died. However, the scowl he wore belonged to the evil, unforgiving tyrant he soon became.
"So I'm not the only one," he commented, his voice sounding hollow and distant. Then he let out a bark of laughter. "Of course I'm not. You wouldn't be satisfied breaking only one mortal's heart, Apollo."
I remembered how much we had loved each other as youths. I wanted to believe his words were a result of his bitterness towards me, but they seemed all too true now.
"It's not like that." It was the only thing I could think of to say, and it was so lame that the gift of the arts should have left me for good.
Commodus arched his eyebrows. "Isn't it, though?" He turned and walked away, motioning for me to follow. "Come."
I glanced over my shoulder at Hyacinthus. The Spartan was curled up on his side, his breaths short and ragged.
"I can't leave him," I said pleadingly.
The princeps looked over his shoulder at me. His expression wasn't angry or accusing, but more like he was waiting to see if I'd deny whatever it was he was about to say. "Really?" he asked. "Why not? You left me when I became emperor. The next time I saw you it was fourteen years later, and it was your hands around my throat." He snapped his fingers and Georgina's room melted away and we found ourselves in a grove of trees.
Commodus lead the way, and I had no choice but to follow him to a small clearing that would have been the perfect spot for a picnic, though I doubted he had brought me here to make amends over sandwiches and lemonade. "Where are we?" I questioned, not speaking to anyone in particular.
No sooner had the words left my mouth when a thick branch crashed into my back and I landed on my stomach on the hard ground, where all the air was immediately dispelled from my lungs.
"Forget me so soon?" A woman's voice taunted me.
"Daphne," I wheezed and rolled over. A hard blow was delivered to my ribs, and my face instantly covered with tears. It was like the time I was mugged in that alleyway in Manhattan, but this was so much worse.
"Poor Apollo," the trees chorused mockingly. "Utterly helpless, utterly alone."
The bark of a laurel tree split and the naiad emerged. Her skin was wood, her hair fat green leaves. Amber eyes bored down into my own.
"So much suffering you caused me, Apollo," she spat. "I am imprisoned forever because of your proudness." One last branch slammed against my forehead, making my vision swim. Daphne sunk back into the laurel.
I lay on my back and cried until Commodus crouched over me. He held my face between his hands and skimmed his thumbs over my cheekbones. His touch was no longer caring or sweet. Instead it filled me with loathing and terror.
"Oh, Apollo," he whispered to me. "Do you now understand the pain you've inflicted upon us for all these centuries?"
"You loved me," I choked out.
He shrugged in response. "And you promised me your blessings, but such promises are made to be broken, as you yourself proved when you drowned me in my own bath." His face was inches from mine, and I would have quite liked to knock his teeth out had I possessed the strength.
Commodus stared at me for a few seconds before letting go of me. He rose silently and left in the same direction we had come.
The scene dissolved into shadow and my eyes shot open. I tried to sit up, but there was a hand on my chest slowing me down.
"Not too fast, hon," Josephine said gently. She was sitting on the edge of my mattress with one arm around my shoulders. I leaned against her and tried to catch my breath.
Josie studied my tear-streaked face. The concern in her eyes was so genuine it made me feel a bit better. At least there was one person who hadn't yet deserted me. "Leo said he woke up to you having some kind of fit and couldn't snap you out of it. Another vision?"
I nodded weakly, hoping she wouldn't ask for the details. Luckily, she seemed to understand. "Come on," she said "Emmie has breakfast ready." She pulled me up and led me down to the Waystation kitchen.
These always seem much longer on notebook paper. I get all excited thinking, Wow, I did something! Then I upload it and and it's like well never mind I guess. The sad truths of life.