Title - Change is gonna come
Rating - PG
Characters - Patrick Jane, Kimball Cho (Cho/Jane)
Summary - Patrick had set out on a path of revenge, but somehow along the way he got distracted.
Discliamer - Don't own them - pity!
Patrick doesn't know when it happened, when the path he'd set out on, straight, narrow, unswerving in it's destination - Revenge. Red John. Retribution, - had curved, pulled him quiet and careful, away, showed him a new option. A new way to live again, a new life, a continued existence.
The CBI had been an 'extra' job on the side - amidst tv appearances and conning people in private for their money while he tangled and toyed with their emotions. Then, when Red John had taken away the very reason for living, the CBI, the team, had become part of his purpose in finding the man who'd destroyed his world. Like walking down a tunnel, the job would lead him to where the keeper of his darkness resided.
But that was the problem when you stayed in one place - you stay long enough and things get under your skin, no matter how hard you try to resist. Even worse when people get under your skin, start peeling away the layers and see you for who you are, let you in to their lives and allow you to walk around, settle in for the long haul.
There had been a niggling feeling, a warning when he'd stumbled off his chosen path and collided into Kimball Cho. But for selfish reasons, the need to remember what it was like to be intimate with another person again, to be cared for and caressed, to be simply wanted, he pushed aside the feelings of apprehension. Only he got tangled, broadsided, unable to remove himself.
He nearly achieved it, when he'd come in contact with Red John. Bound and helpless as Red John teased and mocked, hidden behind a grotesque mask. it had brought him to earth with a jolt, sending him reeling and all he could do was push away, everything that tried to take him away from his focus on revenge. He'd not been able to look Kimball in the eyes for a long time, tried to cut himself off from anything that threatened to pull him from his destination.
But that was the thing about love - it took a damn good beating before it gave up and he should have known Kimball wasn't going to just shrug his shoulders and let go. It wasn't his style. So Patrick found himself being distracted again, slowly, delicately, reminding him that life went on, no matter how much he tried to tell himself it didn't, it couldn't, that his future had ended the day he'd found a red face painted in blood on the wall.
They've never spoke of what would happen when they finally catch up with Red john - when he finally makes a mistake. 'They all do - eventually' Kimball had told Patrick off-handedly one time, a long time ago when they were still just colleagues. The need for revenge doesn't feel as desperate now, dulled around the edges - Patrick doesn't doubt he want revenge, that one day he will have it, but it doesn't drive him as it once did. Other things divert him from that quest and the relief of that pressure is at times palpable. Days when he can just sit and breathe and watch without the endless vengeful ways to dispose of Red John dancing around in the back of his mind.
He even indulges in thoughts of the future - not often but sometimes, like what he'll buy Kimball for his birthday in four months time. Or if they would ever be able to have a weekend away some time, just the two of them. They'd had a conversation about promotions and if Kimball would ever have his own team, eventually. It had all been one sided, Patrick keen on the idea and enjoying the fact that Kimball has some strange superstition about talking about the future of his career. But Patrick thought he'd like to be around when it happened - even when Kimball pointed out it would be a few years yet before it was ever likely to happen. Patrick had promised to take him out for a meal to celebrate the occasion - without the slightest apprehension or fear that he may not be around to experience it.