GUESS WHO'S BACK! BACK AGAIN! Yes, it meeeee! I was debating whether I should ditch this site and go to AO3, but I have too many followers here. I cannot abandon my people. I feel like a YouTuber who is only in it for the views, but hey, I am an attention whore. Accept me.
Anyway, this is a re-write of an old, horribly written fanfic. Still is horribly written, but this is my 2nd favorite plot ever! Yesss, enjoy. And ...
Prepare for the cringe.
One close friend's death was already too much. Especially when said friend had recently turned seventeen. An even closer relative's death was just the icing on the cake. Not to mention the presence of a neglectful father who never seemed to care about his son's life. Trauma over trauma over trauma.
That's how life was like to Benny Weir this past week. He felt so lonely. Currently, he was at the house alone, no best friend to play on the computer with him, no grandmother to yell at him for being too loud, and no parent to boss him around. It was so silent, unlike how it was previously. Well, usually, Benny was the one who caused all the noise, but the knot in his throat and the absence of another soul in the house made it hard to do anything.
He couldn't even call a pizza guy to deliver food at this point. He felt too shaken to call anyone on the phone. And it felt so weird to be in this stranger's body. The Benny that used to live here was animated, happy, and positive. Now he was a totally different person. Everyone was.
The Morgans weren't the same as before. He could tell there was some kind of tension in the household. Then there was Rory who kept it to himself unless he wanted to trash-talk Benny. Sarah had been crying the most of the group, and finally there was Erica who seemed to be outwardly fine, but Benny could tell she was also affected by the loss of a friend.
Benny looked down on his right side where his spell book was opened on the bed. He couldn't look at it anymore. His head hurt him. So he closed it, and put it in a drawer. He had been looking for a spell to contact ghosts, but all of the spells either required a higher level of skill, or were too risky to perform. And he didn't want to unleash a demon again and go through the process of trying to take it down when he was too mentally tired.
Deciding he was too exhausted for this whole … thinking thing, he chose to sleep. He closed his lights, and was going to close the curtains when, for a second, he froze looking at the window opposite his. Ethan's window.
It used to be filled with lights, a shadow sometimes walking around, and sometimes in the afternoon, a boy would be looking back at him, sending him text messages and making silly faces. Now it was just lit up. He could tell that someone else was in the room, perhaps Jane or Samantha or even Ross, but again, Benny felt too sick of his thoughts to look at the window, so he closed the curtains, and lied down on his bed.
He wanted to sleep, but sleep wouldn't come. He might have underestimated the power of his stimulated brain. He sat back up, finding it pointless to sleep when he was too distracted. Maybe he could browse the web, but he wasn't feeling it. Perhaps he could start a new hobby since this was going to be his life from now on, but he didn't have the energy for that at this point. He was still grieving over Ethan and his grandmother that he couldn't do anything.
Except, well, he hasn't tried something he had learned from his grandmother before she had died. The dead can hear you, she said. Even if a million people are talking to them at once, spirits behave differently, and if you talk to them, they will listen. He hasn't talked to any spirits yet. He should. Despite the difficulty Benny was facing with trying to speak, he somehow found a way to speak.
"Hey, E," he started off, feeling a bit awkward. It was strange talking to a spirit since he couldn't see it. But it also felt strange because the moment he had spoken, he had felt the place become slightly colder. Was he here? Did he hear Benny? Either Ethan was thrilled to hear Benny's voice, or mad. After all, Benny hadn't really gone to the funeral because that day, his grandmother had also died. Even when he had later visited the grave, he was a tearful mess. He didn't dare speak to him until now. "It's been really tough for me, but I wanted to say hi." He didn't know how he laughed, but he did. And it wasn't a joyful laugh. "Serves me right, huh?" He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair, muttering to himself, "I'm so horrible." Horrible because he had mistreated his best friend on his last day on Earth. If there was anything Benny regretted, it was his lack of support that day.
A week ago, Benny had been sitting on his computer, trying to beat a level in a video game. If Ethan and Rory were there with him, he could probably defeat the boss quickly, but Rory was busy, and Ethan hadn't been online on the phone for almost an hour. Oh, well. He could do this alone. Maybe.
He was grateful then to hear a knocking at the door. Mostly because he was about to throw a tantrum, and snapping back to reality calmed him down a bit. He paused the game, and turned towards the door. "E! Hey!" he said, and moved his chair aside so Ethan could sit comfortably on the bed.
The other teenagers shut the door behind him and looked with amusement on the screen. "Really? You're stuck on this? There's worse to come, you know. Your video game skills are weak."
"And yours aren't?" he asked, feeling slightly offended. "No, actually, don't answer that. You hurt me. You didn't answer me on the phone."
He could tell that for a brief second, Ethan seemed to freeze in his place, but he had regained his composure in the blink of an eye. "Oh, I had to do something for Mom. Don't worry about it."
Benny nodded. "Fine. I forgive you. But never again." Ethan gave an obviously fake smile. This was so unlike him. What was up with him. "Is there something wrong?"
Ethan shook his head. "No, not at all." He repositioned himself on the bed, deciding the wall was a good support for his back. "I actually came to tell you something." He started fidgeting with his fingers, seemingly nervous. "I don't know how well you'll take it, though."
Putting his controller down, Benny replied with, "You know me. Whatever it is, I'll hear it out. What is it?"
Ethan had taken a few seconds before he spoke. "I'm bi," he said. Benny nodded, waiting for more, and Ethan seemed to be waiting for a reaction, but he gave up on that the moment Benny had wanted to speak. "And, well, I kinda ... like you." He didn't look Benny directly in the eyes, but it didn't matter because neither did Benny look back. Out of all the things that could happen, why this? Not that Benny was opposed to it, but this was his best friend, and he'd never, ever thought of him this way. It came as a shock to him. "B?" Ethan said.
Benny shook his head. "I … don't know what to say to that." He let out a sigh. "I might need some time to think about what you said."
Out of his peripheral vision, Benny could see Ethan nodding, and he seemed to be so sad. It kind of hurt Benny to see him that way, but he couldn't think straight at the moment. Oh, that's not what he meant. But he was definitely straight, and he couldn't take this lightly since this had to do with Ethan. "Okay, then," Ethan muttered, and stood up. "Guess I'll leave." And so, he left without a word. Not a 'see you later' or a 'goodbye'. It was just silent.
Benny knew technically he wasn't at fault in this situation, but it still sucked to see Ethan hurt. And this wasn't even the worst of it. The last time he had seen Ethan, he was rarely being looked at in the eyes. Like Ethan did not want to confront him. That was what made Benny guilty.
"I know," he continued. "I shouldn't be saying this. You want me to move on, you want me to be happy, but that seems impossible. I'm so … mentally tired. I don't feel like doing anything anymore." His previous interests did not appeal to him anymore. Only his bed did, and even that he had trouble with. He wrapped his arms around himself. "But I think I would have been better if I hadn't seen everything happen."
Benny kept looking out the window that night, hoping that Ethan was still in his room, or at least the house, and he was for the most part. That was until Benny saw Ethan leaving the house, frantic. He looked so shaken, like he wanted to be anywhere but home. Normally, Ethan would come to Benny's house, but Benny wasn't familiar with this Ethan. He had never seen Ethan behave like this. And unpredictable he was. He started heading the opposite way. Problem was: none of their friends' house was on that side of the street, or that side of Whitechapel, actually, and neither was the library. These were the only places the boy visited during summers. Strange.
Benny grabbed his jacket, and headed to the door, his worry for Ethan increasing. He had a bad feeling about this.
"Where are you going?" came his grandmother's voice. She had a wooden spatula in her hand, and an apron around her waist. Benny was scared for a second before he realized he was never spanked by his grandmother, and likely would never get spanked.
"Oh, to go see Ethan," he said, which wasn't a lie. It just wasn't the whole truth.
"Okay, just be safe, all right?"
Benny nodded, kissed her on the cheek, and left the house. He had looked for Ethan for what seemed like ten minutes, and when Benny finally saw Ethan, it seemed that Ethan was coming back home. But he didn't look any better. His lips were pressed together, his eyes tiredly looking at the ground, and his hands were in his pockets. "Ethan!" Benny exclaimed, and went towards the boy.
Ethan lifted his head to look at Benny, then looked down almost immediately. "Is it … me?" Benny asked. No answer, just walking. "Ethan, please answer me. I got scare when you got out of the house." Ethan did look up, but not at Benny, it was behind Benny, his eyes now like saucers. Benny turned around, and saw a guy walked. What was the big deal?
Ethan stepped back, then finally looked at Benny. "Go home," he said.
"What?" Benny asked, confused.
"Go!" Ethan said, and he was about to take Benny aside when the guy he had just seen had taken him by one arm. Benny wanted to shake his hand off, but he didn't have the physical strength to do so. He was shoved to the side towards an alley, and another pair of hands grabbed him.
Not caring, Benny wanted to use magic on them, but surprisingly, nothing worked. He could usually be able to perform some spells with ease, including the ones that he intended to use, but weirdly enough, he couldn't. He looked at Ethan, who was also held by some other guys, and brought to the alley. He seemed to have given up at this point.
Benny felt angry, because how could he in a moment like this? How could he give up so easily? They had survived through much worse things, and they could do so now. "Benny Weir," said the guy, taking out a sharp knife. Benny's heart started to race. "And Ethan Morgan." He smiled. "You two have a reputation around, yet you couldn't fight off humans like us. Well, let me be specific. We're hunters." He looked at the two in disgust. "And I thought our job is to rid this world of abominations like you. If I knew this was going to be easy, I would have done it a long time ago."
The guy had started to step towards Benny, and Benny stood strong, not willing to give in just yet. He would do whatever he could, even if Ethan wouldn't.
"Wait," Ethan said, making the guy turn around. "You want to kill him?" Ethan asked, and the guy looked at him as if he was stupid. Well, obviously he wanted to do that. "I suggest you don't. Because if you do, I will scream. We're surrounded by apartments here, and I don't think you want to be caught."
The guy chuckled. "We can just kill you first, or cover your mouth. Easy solution." He ordered to cover the boy's mouth, but that didn't stop Ethan. Knowing how determined he was, he knew the next move.
Oh, but you seem to be forgetting, came his voice in Benny's head, and all of their heads, probably, because they all turned to look at him. I'm a seer. And I'm not as weak as you think I am. Whatever you do, I can still scream out for help in people's heads. They might freak out, true, but don't underestimate people's fears. The guy hesitated, but told his friend to take away his hand. "Okay," Ethan said afterwards, "let's make a deal."
"E, no," Benny said.
"You let Benny go, and you only kill me. In return, I won't do whatever I just demonstrated," he said.
If Benny wasn't held so tightly, he might have as well faced a tremor. "Ethan, are you crazy?" he asked.
But the guy was already moving towards Ethan. Benny tried again and again to use a spell, but nothing worked. It looked like those … demons had used something to block magic. And there were many things that could block magic within a certain range.
"Any last words?" the guy asked.
"E," Benny said, feeling a knot form in his throat. He wanted to scream at his friend, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. His throat wasn't letting him make any sound at the moment. He couldn't breathe. This was too real.
Ethan, for the second and final time, had looked at Benny, and said, "Take care of Jane for me." Benny wished he had even a second to react to any of this, because just as soon as Ethan finished his sentence, the knife went through his chest.
Benny didn't remember much of what he did and how he did it, but he remembered his magic working, him almost choking the hunters on the spot to death, but the bleeding body next to him stopped him. He let go of the hunters, and shifted his attention back to his dying friend. It wouldn't help, and he knew that, but he formed a magic barrier around them even though he would prefer to die right now rather than witness all of this happen.
There was so much blood. Blood everywhere. And his eyes, they were closed, and he couldn't tell if he was breathing. His first instinct was to call the ambulance, and he did so. For a brief moment, he held Ethan's limp hand, but it was already less warm than usual. Ethan was dying, and he couldn't do anything about it.
He remembered the ambulance coming. He remembered them taking away Ethan. He remembered reaching the hospital in the Morgans' car and finding out Ethan was pronounced dead on his way here. And if he thought he was having it badly, Samantha had it even worse. She was sobbing the whole time, wanting to see her son. The doctor kept apologizing to her, but she still kept sobbing. Ross was being the strong one in the family, as Benny had expected, but even he could see the sorrow on Ethan's father's face. Jane, meanwhile, was crying, yes, but she was silent, unmoving. It was so depressing in there. Even Erica, when she had arrived with Sarah and Rory, looked different. She was putting up a tough front, but like Ross, nothing could hide her sadness.
But the death continues to be his worst memory yet. It was one hundred time worse than his grandmother's death, because at least she died in her sleep. Ethan was a young boy who stabbed in the heart. Worst of all, Benny never really said anything to Ethan about his crush. And Ethan would never be able to go to college, get his own apartment, and have children like he had once wanted. But at least he didn't have to live in this cruel, unfair world anymore. He was probably enjoying Heaven or something.
Perhaps the feeling of loneliness didn't come solely from Ethan. It was from what he was going through with his friends. Apparently, Ethan told Rory much more things than Benny had expected, Rory was mad at Benny. Why? He didn't know, but all he knew was that they weren't talking to each other anymore. Sarah and Erica remained friends with both of them, but the group was divided now.
"Everything's been plain bad after you left," Benny said, shaking off the memory. "Rory's not talking to me anymore, Grandma died, your house just looks depressing, and … I miss you." He felt cheesy and overly-cliché saying this. But he had to get it out of his system. "After you left, I came to the realization that I may not be straight after all. I don't know what I am yet, but I know that if you were here, I would have definitely considered you as a date." He breathed out. "Too late for that." He stood up, not wanting to talk anymore. He didn't feel like it. "Anyway, I just wanted to formally say goodbye, and tell you what's been happening. Hey, guess I'll see you in the afterlife."
He mostly wanted this over with so he could get up and do something. He couldn't sit here in his depressing room anymore. Especially after the coldness had gone away, and Benny felt lonely again.
He noticed his box of comic books, and emptied it. Then he looked at the Morgans' house. They were still awake. Okay. Good. He opened his drawer to see a bunch of Ethan's items, including clothes and console CDs, and many other things. He put them in the box, but he kept a few of them. He'd move on eventually. Just not yet.
He stood up, ready to leave, but he saw the letter Ross had given him like six days ago, which was one of the messages that Ethan had hand-written for his friends and family. In Benny's, Ethan had revealed that he knew about his demise a week before it happened, and had written down his feelings like how he wanted Benny to live a guilt-free life. And he knew that his wasn't the only one with revelation like that because when Benny had seen Ethan's parents again, they had asked him if Ethan really was gifted with the sight, and if he had anything to do with the supernatural world that Ethan mentioned. Of course, he couldn't lie. If this is what Ethan wanted his parents to know, he needed to respect his wishes. And he was glad the Morgans didn't look at him differently, which would make the trip there easier.
He made his way to the house, and rang the doorbell. Samantha had greeted him in her pajamas, her eyes looking tired, though she seemed curious about the box, but she quickly realized what it was. She protested to the fact that he was bringing this back, but he insisted, and she let him enter Ethan's room.
Surprisingly, he wasn't alone there. Jane was on the bed, playing with her toys, and she didn't seem to care that he was here. Benny put the box down on the computer desk, and rested on the bed for a bit. He turned to Jane, who looked at him, appearing puzzled. "You're not just here to bring stuff over."
He shook his head. "Nope," he said. "I'm tired of my room. I wanted to come her one last time." No comment on that. Jane just kept playing, trying to dress up her Debbie Dazzle doll, which still freaked Benny out to this day. "Do you spend your time here a lot?" he asked.
Jane nodded. "My room is lonely. It's lonely here, too, but it's better than my room." Poor Jane. She was so used to having a brother to annoy, now she has no one. She had Sarah before, yes, but it wasn't a time for babysitting for neither the Morgans nor Sarah. Basically, no one was feeling okay enough to do much.
"I know," Benny said. "You know, he cares- cared about you a lot. More than you think."
"I know he cared," she said.
"You don't know how much, though," Benny said. The memory may hurt him, but what was he to keep the detail away from her? "Before, you know, he said his last words. He wanted me to take care of you."
Jane shook her head. "You're just making that up," she muttered.
Benny shook his head. "If I had to make something up, wouldn't you think I'd praise myself?"
Jane giggled a bit, but then the action soon died down, and the place was silent. A few seconds, and she spoke again. "It's really bad in here. I don't envy him, but at least he doesn't have to endure how things are in the house."
"What do you mean?" Benny asked.
A bit of silence, then she said, "Mom and Dad wanted to get divorced a week ago. They still want to, and they're making me choose who I get to live with." Oh, if only Benny knew about this. "Last I saw Ethan, he was too surprised by the news, so he left the house. It's not fair."
That was why he looked so all over the place that day. He couldn't blame Ethan for being like that the last week. "I'm so sorry," Benny said, wishing he knew how to comfort a child who had lost her brother, and was probably not going to see one of her parents much from now on. But that still left a question that he wasn't willing to voice: why divorce? What happened between them? Not like it mattered. It was just that they seemed so in sync and in love. But maybe that was all an act. Who knew?
Benny stayed for a few minutes, looking at the posters, the object thrown around the room, the console half-plugged into the socket, and finally, when he was ready, he said goodbye to Jane, took one last glance at the room, then left.
He felt like a big burden was lifted off of his shoulders, and maybe, just maybe he could do this. Maybe he could be brave for Ethan. Maybe he can, after a while, move on. Yeah, that sounded great. Things wouldn't be back to normal, yes. He had a feeling he was going to be alone in the house a lot of the time, and senior year at high school was going to be harsh without any friends when he previously had four, but it was okay. Maybe.
He didn't immediately go home. He started walking around, observing how the world was still the same outside of his own circle, how some families were having late night barbecues, how kids were playing field hockey, or football, how some girls were walking around in their groups, taking selfies and smiling. Everything seemed so normal here. Benny wished he was normal, or that he had a normal life, but that wasn't what he was. He knew he had a role in the supernatural world. And hey, maybe being busy with it might take his mind off of things. And he could start with those bastards who killed his best friends. But maybe later.
He walked back home, back to the silent neighborhood. He was about five buildings, or rather houses, away from home, when he felt someone hold his elbow, and pull him aside. He panicked for a few seconds, worried that the hunters were back, ready to kill him. Despite having felt like he wanted to die seven nights ago, it was out of sorrow. But he still wanted to live.
Evaluating the situation, even through the darkness between the two houses, he could tell that there was only one person behind this, and not a group like the hunters were.
That hair, it was so messy, and it didn't seem blond. A brunette perhaps? A redhead? And the height of the person, or rather the guy, made him remember … no, he was dead. It can't be him. But the hoodie looked familiar to the one that Ethan had worn when he died. Maybe he was dreaming. He did have a lot of dreams about Ethan recently. Or maybe this was a ghost. But the grip felt too real. Ghosts felt different.
"B," said the voice. Only two people called him that, and they both used to be his male friends. Benny felt like passing out. How was he here? He saw him die. It couldn't be possible. "I'm scared to touch you. I feel like you'll break."
But Benny didn't pass out. Benny hugged him. It was him. It felt like him. It was his voice. He talked just as awkwardly as he would sometimes in tough situation. He wanted to speak, but his throat was not his friend yet again. The shorter boy wrapped his arms around Benny hesitantly. It felt weird to hug. They've never hugged before – not like this. But this was different. This was the hug of two friends separated by a tragedy.
"I miss you, too," Ethan said. It felt silent for a long time, and Benny didn't want to move. Maybe letting him go will make him disappear. He didn't realize his grip was getting tighter until Ethan gasped out, "Can't," a pant, "breathe."
Benny loosened his hug, and then let go. He looked at him, at his face. It wasn't that clear in the darkness, but he could make out that details of the face now that he knew who it was. "You're alive," Benny said, not believing his eyes.
Ethan tilted his head a bit. "Debatable."
So many questions went into Benny's head, but he ignored them right now. "Are you back for real?"
"I'll explain to you, but after we go to your home," Ethan said, lifting the hoodie on top of his head. "I really need a place to stay."
Again, so many questions to ask, but Benny didn't really want to argue. His friend was standing in front of him, and that's all he could ask for. "Okay," he said, and led him to the house. As he walked out of the shadow, Ethan's hoodie still covered his face, but Benny could see him better. It was him. It was Ethan. He was alive.
Benny just hoped he wasn't going to leave him alone again.
Wow, way different than what I wrote before. Given, lots of things didn't change, but my logic had gotten better, arguably.
Thank you guys for reading *sweats, hoping there really is an audience*. Please leave a comment. It helps me know that there are actual people I'm writing this to. I don't want to leave writing because of what happened to me last time.
See you in the next chapter.