Cat Lady
a/n: Jack wants a pet. His girlfriend Lila, not so much, and for reasons that aren't shallow.
Pets, tears, dark places, minor fluff, spoilers to Ch. 12. Not so much swears, but some (this is Vandham, folks).
All the good stuff belongs to Monolith Soft, Lila the OC is mine. (Short version: they've know each other since Earth, but only began dating around Ch. 10. Long version: The Lily and the BLADE.)
"Hey, I've got great news." Jack slammed through the door of the shipping container slash office. He felt about as excited as a five year old when faced with a bouncy house.
"What?" Lila lowered her comm device. She smiled at him, and he almost forgot his news. Damn, they just didn't have enough time together. "Something really good must have happened for NLA."
"We can get one of the kittens from Aisha." Aisha being the ship's cat that had become the only true living Earthling on Mira for several months. She'd had kittens a few weeks before. The father wasn't in much doubt, there only being the one option. Spoiler Cat, adopted by Nagi, who'd pulled the lucky ticket in the lottery to house the creature created when the Lifehold had demonstrated its true purpose.
Jack thudded happily onto the ancient sofa, directly next to her. "Probably better to keep it here, since you can pop in and out and keep it company while it's little. But the litter is ready to go, sometime next week." His mind was busy, making lists of what needed to be done. "We'll need to kitten-proof the station office, get some cat stuff. I'll do all the shopping, don't worry about getting over to the Commercial District for that." He spread his arms and leaned back. "A kitten. Little fuzzball of cute, hoooo! This'll be a blast. Your crew is gonna love it."
Lila hadn't said a thing.
Jack turned to her, a broad smile lifting his blond mustache. "So, you as excited as I am?"
"No." She didn't look at him. Her hands were tight around her comm device.
"You're more of a dog person?"
"I mean, no, I don't want a cat here."
"What?" Vandham frowned thoughtfully. "I suppose. This is your official workspace, on paper anyway. Sakuraba Industry Auxilliary Skell Refueling Station 2.0. I forget. I usually see you running around outside, yelling at the customers." He chuckled. "Don't worry. If Sakuraba gives you any guff, I think I can lean on them."
"I don't want a cat, ever." She took a shuddering breath. "I don't like cats."
Jack finally took a clear look at Lila Brown. Her mouth was tight, and she was swallowing harder than she should be. There was a fierceness on her face that matched the look she had when arguing with her most self-destructive customers. The look she had when she watched them leave for a mission she'd knew they weren't ready for, that would endanger their team. The look that she'd have when she'd ping him with the details and a plea for help. He'd know to drop what he was doing, jump on the team before they left NLA, and shake them until they'd confess to whatever selfish, stupid plan they had. Then beat them into a better plan. Her early warning instincts (instincts created by observation, experience, and a frighteningly deep knowledge of a planet that she'd never seen, except for a small sector) had saved more than one BLADE, more than a dozen. He'd never gotten the look himself. Still hadn't, technically, because she was focused on her hands, clutching and unclutching her comm device.
"What's wrong?" he asked slowly.
"Nothing. I don't like cats. Don't bring it here."
"Okaaaay." She hadn't relaxed. "Mind if I ask why not?"
"I just don't. I can't …" She blinked. To his shock, a tear dropped from her face. "I don't want them near me."
He grabbed her then, pulling her into a bear hug, just as the tears really began to fall. "Honey, honey, what's up?"
"I just don't like cats. They're … I can't …" She curled up in his arms, face pressed against his chest.
"What is it? Another phobia?" Because, if she had cat-phobia, whatever that was called, the same way she had agoraphobia, he'd better tell Mathias to find a new family for the kitten. He didn't need to hurt her.
She shook her head against him. Already, she was regaining her control. Whatever had surprised her was not going to rule her. He caressed her hair, but she shifted so she could look him in the eyes. "Not a phobia. I don't like them. I'm not good with them. It would be cruel. Any creature would deserve better."
"Even a cat?" he teased gently.
She shook her head again, no smile, but no trembling either. "I'm not against cats, I just don't want to have anything to do with them." She sighed, and shifted off his lap. "Sorry to disappoint you. But no cats here. No."
"No cats. I get that." He looked at her. "Why not?"
"I'm not changing my mind."
"I don't want you to. But I want to know why."
She closed her eyes, but her head was up and she was breathing carefully. She'd give her report, he knew that, clear voice and no stuttering, even if tears rolled down her face. She'd done that whenever she had to report a casualty in her section, back on the Whale. A silly sentiment, they all knew that the lost could be restored. Jack reached over and held her hand, firmly. He hadn't been able to support her then, not enough, what with being her commanding officer, but things were different now and he could do better.
"My mother wasn't the greatest mom. She wasn't cruel, and she did her best, but she was … troubled." Lila hesitated. "That's what my grandmother called it. Troubled. She loved me, well enough, but she had bigger problems. Alcohol, drugs, men. People. She'd lock me in my room for days, to keep me safe from whatever parties were going on. Sometimes, she'd leave me in a motel room to keep me away from it all. She couldn't get away from that part of her life, but she did her best to keep me out of it, and I'm grateful. She needed whatever it was that made her that way, but she wouldn't let it touch me.
"I was only a little kid then. It wasn't good, and I was lonely, sometimes hungry, sometimes sick, but it never really got bad. This was pure luck, mind you, because it could have been deadly. A fire, a break in, something. But maybe my mom really was careful. Sometimes I want to think that." She squeezed his hand back and continued.
"When I got old enough for school, something changed. For all that she didn't care about most things, she didn't ignore that kids needed to go to school. She really believed that. That made it harder, though, finding a safe place where we could stay long enough to get me registered for school. Before that, we'd move every month, every week. Crashing on couches, squatting in empty houses, sleeping in a car if she had one. Different cities, sometimes even different states. I can't remember how many schools I went to for only a few days before we were off, moving across the state to get to something better. Mostly to get away from something worse.
"She finally fixed on a friend of hers, from when she was a teen. Her best friend of all time, she promised me, and we'd have such fun at Janey's house. When we got there, the friend was long gone, but the friend's mom was still living there. My mom asked and pleaded and wept, but she didn't really need to. Janey's mom was welcoming. I thought we had reached paradise."
"What was her name?"
"I don't know. I may never have heard it. My mom always called her Janey's mom. Or Cat Lady."
She looked at him, pleadingly. "You have to understand. I was barely 5 back then. I didn't get it. Janey's mom was rich, at least to a kid's eyes. Nice neighborhood, no liquor stores or bottles in the streets. No burnt-up trash at the corner. A house all to herself, two floors. Furniture in the rooms, lights that worked. A proper refrigerator, a big one. And cats. She had enough money to have all the pets she wanted. This is wealth beyond measure to a kid like me."
"I think I'm getting it."
"Good. Because it wasn't paradise. We got the garage, Jack, and mattresses on the concrete. We washed in the sink if we washed at all. There was no food for us, only for the cats. There was a yard, but it was overgrown, and what free space remained was full of cats. And their graves." Lila shuddered, but only for a moment. "My mom told me not to play there, because legally we weren't supposed to be living there. Janey's mom didn't want the neighbors to see me. I wouldn't have gone there even if it wasn't forbidden."
She sighed. "As far as my mother was concerned, it worked perfectly. I could go to school. The school even fed me, breakfast, lunch, gave me a snack to take to the afterschool program. She told me to bring any extra things back, and we could share it for dinner. A little girl like me wouldn't need all that lunch. I did what she said. I was a good kid."
"God…" he rumbled.
"I think the school suspected. My snack bags were always a little heavier than the other kids'. Always had two of everything, sometimes four. An extra milk at breakfast, sometimes. I don't know how they managed it. It was a good school.
"Didn't change that I was hungry, especially by Sunday evening. Once, I tried to eat some cat food that had been left out. I got so sick, you can't imagine. I did my best to hide it, because I didn't want my mother keeping me home from school. I shouldn't have worried. She wanted me gone. It left her free to do her own thing."
"What was she doing?"
"Things. I can't say. She said she spent her day helping Janey's mom with the house. With the cats. Probably drinking as much as helping. She didn't go away much, and she was always home at night.
"It wasn't too bad. I wasn't scared. I wasn't too hungry. It hadn't gotten too cold, so the garage was okay. I didn't like the way the mice scampered on the floor at night, though." She laughed bitterly. "A hundred cats in the house, and none of them were mousers. Except I don't think those mice really were mice."
She snuggled closer to him. "After I got sick from the cat food, I was convinced that Janey's mom was trying to poison all the cats, to kill them so she could bury them. I was afraid of her after that. I was just a kid, Jack, I really didn't understand about not eating stuff. One day, I blew it. I told someone."
"You asked for help."
"I told on the Cat Lady. Told the librarian of the school that she was hurting the cats."
"And she reported it."
"'Teachers must make a report of child abuse within 24 hours when they reasonably believe a child has suffered abuse,'" she recited. She looked up at him. "I researched it, later. I used to know the code, and all the rest. She wasn't to blame. I was the one who made a mistake." She paused. "I don't think she waited 24 minutes. It was a good school." Something in her eyes indicated gratitude.
"So they took you away."
"Ha. They never got the chance. The Cat Lady panicked at the first visit. I guess she denied that we had ever been there. We heard her shouting at the police to leave, that there was not little girl at the house, only her precious kitties. My mom snuck us out that afternoon, before they came back. I never saw Janey's mom or the house again."
They stayed quiet for a while, Jack rubbing slow circles on her back, Lila resting her head on his chest. Finally, Jack said, "You always said your grandparents raised you."
"Yes. That's where we went. My mom had finally decided it was too hard to keep me. It was supposed to only be until the end of the school year, but I stopped waiting for her to come back before the summer was half over. My grandparents were good to me. They loved me. They did their best to convince me that my mom loved me and that was why she'd let me stay with them. They were strict, sure, but I was the kind of kid that was happy with rules, with limits, with clear demands that were hard but not too hard. It felt safe." She pushed herself away, and stood up, almost defiantly. Chin up, fists on hips. "Guess that's why I loved the Navy so much." Such a strong woman, god he loved her.
"So no cats. What about a bird?" He smiled playfully.
Her face crumpled. "Jack, I can't keep pets safe. They'll die or get hurt and I can't take care of them. Please don't ask me."
He might look like a heavy skell, but he could move like an Ares. He was up and had his arms wrapped around her in a flash. But there weren't any tears. Just her clinging to him, hugging him just as fiercely. "No pets," she whispered.
"No." He felt sick. "And no … no … what about …" It spilled out before he could stop. "What about kids?"
She was already squeezing him hard enough to bend miranium, how could she squeeze harder? "That. Is. Different." A hug like an industrial skell retaining clamp emphasized each word. "I can love a kid. Our kid. I can take care of one." One last long squeeze, and she twisted to look up into his grey eyes. "I raised myself okay." Not exactly a question, but it hid there.
"You did beautifully. Yeah, so that's something we can do, maybe. Someday."
"Maybe. Someday." Emphasis on the second word.
Xcxcxcxcxcxcxc2
The noise surrounding the station office was still muted, but already the nearby hangar staff were starting to clang and bang. He moved as quietly as he could. He failed.
"Mmmhhh, what time is it?"
"0400. Gotta shoot. Your tea's set up by the hot plate."
"It's ready?"
"Just the mug, no water. You can make it when you wake up."
She looked sleepily over the crook of her elbow. "So what are you going to call it?"
"What?"
"The kitten."
"There's no kitten."
"Your kitten. The one you'll be taking care of."
His mouth dropped open and he didn't close it until she started to giggle. "You said … you said no…" he started.
"I don't want a pet. But you do. And it's a cat, Jack. We don't both have to love it. Or take care of it. You can do most of that. All of that, when it comes to feeding and litter boxes and stuff. It can even live here for the start."
"Reeeeaaaallly?" [a/n: This was the first time Mira had ever witnessed a squee at two C's below middle C. But not the last.]
She rolled her eyes. "I am going to be in such trouble later. 'I promise to take care of it, and brush it and walk it. You'll never know we have a terebra. Pleeeassseeee?' In stereo."
"Silver," he blurted.
"Silver?"
"For the name. It's grey. She's grey. Silver."
"Long Janey Silver. Okay. We'll talk details." As he scooted towards the door, she called out, "You know this is just a ploy to get you to come around here more regularly."
"I am willing to fall for that. I love you, Lila."
"I'd do anything for you, Jack. Anything."
a/n: This is dedicated to my Uncle, who ran away to the Navy at 14 for reasons (they figured it out after a month and sent him back). Bits and pieces match his and my dad's life. N.b. my grandmother was an amazing protective woman in a very terrible, hopeless economic time, and saw her kids to as much safety as she could, at great sacrifice. Not Lila's mom at all, but perhaps the woman trying to survive in the apartment next to her, and probably eating less herself to make an extra sandwich to give to Lila. My grandmother was also a raging, cranky woman too, sarcastic and mean, so let's not put her up for sainthood either.
The Xenoblades X Tumblr Discord board is full of raging silly joyous and talented people, who swap amazing art, painful memes, and story prompts. I just lurk and enjoy, until a stray prompt lodges in my brain like Ophiocordycesare fungus (search for zombie fungus, then enjoy). The prompt was: One of your OTP really wants a pet, but the other does not. You are now infected. Have fun.
If you were expecting Wolf and Duna,
Keep expecting.
She's killing him with drama.
And the fight scenes will kill me.
It will happen, and it will be 100% cat free.