A/N: Just a little bit of silly Ten/Rose fluff. If this isn't a conversation you ever envisaged the Doctor and Rose having, don't take it too seriously, it's just a bit of fun. Basically, take this how you want :D Hope you like xxx

Married?

"And you're married, yes?" asked the tour guide.

They looked at each other, fighting back giggles. "No, no. Not married," the Doctor answered, at the same time as Rose assured, "God no. Definitely not."

The guide frowned. He'd been convinced that they were together. He shrugged indifferently though, and led them through the forest, walking a few metres in front.

"What do you mean, 'god no, definitely not?'" he asked her after a moment, slightly insulted.

Rose looked at him as if he was stupid. "Because we aren't."

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, but you made it sound like it'd be something disastrous if we were."

"No I didn't," she replied, a little tetchily. Because really, what he just said couldn't be further from the truth, for god's sake!

"Yes you did. It was like you couldn't imagine a worse possible thing." He was aware that he was sounding a bit like a sulky little boy, but he couldn't help it. They were best friends, weren't they? And he was perfectly pleasant. How bad could being married to him be, exactly?

"Are you saying it wouldn't be?"

"No." They'd make a good couple, wouldn't they? He thought so. He was...well, you know...quite fond of her, after all. Not that he'd ever tell her that, but still.

"No it would, or no you're not saying that?" she asked.

"I don't know. What was the question?" he asked distractedly.

Rose sighed. "You're so annoying."

"Is that why you don't want to marry me?" the Doctor asked.

She frowned, and turned to face him again. "You've never asked me to marry you!" she exclaimed, thoroughly perplexed. And also kind of intrigued as to where all this was coming from. He'd never indicated or instigated any interest other than friendship with her before. She was his companion, his plus one, his best friend; but that was it. Of course, she loved him to death and everything, which was probably why she really wanted to see what he'd do if she suddenly just turned around and kissed him right now. Actually, she always wanted to do that. But that was beside the point, because she was still very, very confused about why he was talking about this, so...

"No, I haven't. And...well. You'll never know if I was ever going to now you're being all anti-Husband-Doctor, will you?" he answered, his tone bordering on whiney. He took a few steps forward, but Rose stayed rooted to the spot. "You coming?" he called back snappily.

Turning slowly to follow him, she had the most adorably confused expression on her face that he'd ever seen, and his spirits were immediately lifted. Her face had that effect on him.

Funny, that. 'Cos it wasn't like he was infatuated with her or something.

(Okay, so maybe he was a little bit infatuated. Big deal. No one realised. So it was fine.)

"Doctor," Rose began slowly. "What on Earth are you talking about?"

"Don't you mean, 'What on Fedrusia?'" he chuckled, poking his elbow out so that she could link her arm with his as they walked after their guide, who had apparently resolved not to talk to them considering they were having a bit of a domestic, if you'll pardon the word.

Said domestic, if you'll pardon the word, was about to get even more confusing.

"Whatever," she dismissed, with a wave of her free arm. "Basically, what was that supposed to mean?"

"What's that?" he replied, feigning ignorance.

"The thing where you said that I'll never know if you were going to ask me to marry you or not," she clarified exasperatedly.

"I think that's pretty self-explanatory."

Rose took in a deep breath. She was just going to go for it, and ask him her question, straight to the point. "You were going to ask me to marry you?"

The Doctor looked at her with wide eyes and gestured with his hands. "Wh-what? Well. Um. Er... Who knows? The future's the future. But now you've expressed your deep distaste for marriage to me, I would imagine that all the 'could happens' involving exactly that have just diminished out of possible occurrences."

"Are you saying that five minutes ago, it was possible that some time in the future we'd get married, but now we won't because I apparently sounded outraged by the idea even though I didn't know it was even an idea at the time?" she asked.

"Sort of...but I said that I might've asked you, not that we would."

"So you think I'd say no," she stated.

"Evidently."

"Right. Got it."

"Got it?"

"Yeah. You're an idiot."

"Thanks," he scoffed sarcastically.

"No, really, you are," she insisted.

"Oh. Why's that?"

"Because that conversation we just had didn't make any sense."

"It made perfect sense."

"No, it really didn't."

"You're the idiot, then, because it made perfect sense to me."

"Oi! " Rose exclaimed. She poked him in the ribs. Hard. "It's just...I never know when you're joking or not."

He rubbed his side with an exaggerated 'owww.' Then he asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, realistically, that's never gonna happen, is it? You, proposing to me."

"Not anymore it's not," the Doctor grumbled, now very insulted. He was also very glad he hadn't bought her a ring. Not that he actually planned on proposing at all; this was all hypothetical. Honestly! But still. Insulting.

"You see, this is what I mean!" she cried, pulling away from him and stomping a few steps in front. "It's all cryptic clues and riddles with you."

He caught up with her but didn't take her arm back. He had a feeling she was angry with him, though he wasn't sure what he'd done to initiate that. "What's cryptic and riddle-y about that?" he asked, wrinkling his nose in confusion.

"Oh my god, you're annoying!" she exclaimed.

"Second time you've said that today."

"Yeah, well. It needs repeating. You are annoying. There you go. Three times."

"That's a bit rude."

"Says you," she retorted, before sighing wearily. "I'm just getting my point across."

"I don't think you really have a point," he mumbled.

"Neither do you."

"Not a leg to stand on," he continued.

"Neither do you." She paused. "Hold on, what are we talking about now?"

"Not wanting to marry me."

"Did I even say that?" she asked, exasperated.

"Not in so many words," he answered.

"Exactly!"

"Is that a yes, then?"

"Are you asking?" she retorted, with a disbelieving snort.

"Might as well," he sniffed.

Rose sighed. "S'pose it'd save on the explanations. You know, all the 'oh no, we're not married, just friends' thing that wastes so much time," she pointed out, starting to laugh.

"Exactly," he agreed, smiling.

"And you'd have my mum as a mother-in-law."

The Doctor turned visibly pale. "Ah."

Rose smirked. "Aha, that's got you worried."

He shrugged a shoulder. "Still, I think the benefits outweigh that slightly huge negative."

"Yeah?" she asked, an eyebrow raised, interested to see how far these teasing would go before he steered their conversation away from this dodgy area.

"Yeah. I've got a time-and-space-ship. Just think of the honeymoon," he answered nonchalantly.

"Honeymoon?" she gulped. He had absolutely no idea what images he'd conjured up in her mind with that one word. Needless to say, those images had nothing to do with all the fabulous destinations he could possibly pick from...

"That's what humans do, don't they?" he commented lightly, shrugging again.

She inhaled a deep breath. "Yeah, but..."

"But what?" he asked, looking at her curiously.

Okay. Look. She just had to be frank. Blunt. She couldn't let this continue when he was being so oblivious. Didn't they have honeymoons on Gallifrey or something? Honestly, he was completely ignorant. Deep breath, hesitant smile, and, go: "You do know what humans spend all their time doing on their honeymoons, right?"

"Course I do. Scuba diving," he retorted seriously. As Rose's smile dropped off her face, he couldn't help but laugh. After a few moments, he recovered from his chuckling, and looked at her meaningfully. "Well. Honeymoon's a honeymoon. We wouldn't be able to argue with tradition, we might jinx...something," he improvised, and he laughed again when her mouth fell open in shock. "What's up, Rose Tyler?"

"N-nothing," Rose stuttered, trying to get her head around this weird and frankly exciting conversation. She knew he was just messing around...but...well, the seriousness of his gaze...is he joking, or...?

"You look like you've just stumbled across Wonderland."

Her mouth twitched in amusement. "Not wearing quite the dress for it."

"Are we talking blue and white as in Alice, or white and lacy as in Wedding?" he remarked.

She swallowed, unsure of the answer to that even herself. "Um..."

"Course, if we got married on Nini-fi Eight, you'd have to wear burgundy, and I'd have to wear blue."

Her nose wrinkled in distaste. "Let's not get married on Nini-fi Eight."

"I agree," he said, nodding. "Firstly, burgundy is not your colour - "

" – hey! It so could be! And what, blue looks any better on you, does it?"

He continued, ignoring her remark resolutely, "And b, they have this tradition where they don't even eat the wedding cake. Instead, they offer it to their Gods. What's that about, eh? You can't not eat the wedding cake! That would be my favourite bit. Aside from the 'kiss the bride' bit, of course," he considered thoughtfully.

Rose laughed. "Oh, that's the reason you want to marry me, is it? For some cake and a snog? Well, you could have that without all the fuss of vows and stuff. All you have to do is ask." She thought for a moment, walking to a stop. "Scratch that. You don't even need to ask. Just launch yourself at me and it'd all be fine." She grinned at him impishly to show him she was joking. (Even though she wasn't.)

"It'd be more than 'fine,' Rose Tyler," he insisted, with a decisive nod of his head as he pictured that very scene.

"I bet it would," she replied. Oh god, she couldn't physically stop. She had to flirt back. He was...him, and he was talking about...stuff...and he was so...oh, she loved that man and...and right now he was staring at her strangely. She cleared her throat, and started walking again.

"So when shall we do it, then?" he asked her, playfully elbowing her in the ribs when he caught up with her again.

"Do what?" she asked, surprised that he wanted to continue this conversation. Wasn't this all a bit too domestic, if you'll pardon the word, for him?

He looked down at her like she'd just dribbled Merusian Pear juice down her chin. "Get married, obviously."

"Oh. Um. I dunno. Tomorrow?" she joked.

"Tomorrow it is," he answered, beaming happily.

...