Author's Note: Byakuya is very sexy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

Tragedies of the Sake King

By annyenil

"What are you doing, Kyouraku taichou?" A puzzled young Nanao asked, her eyes sparkling with suspicious. Her taichou had never been up to anything good, but this seemed more severe than it had ever been. She had been in the Division long enough serving the taichou to know that Kyouraku Shunsui, when not musing the world or getting drunk out there with Matsumoto Rangiku, was definitely messing with other people's love life.

Nanao had said the last sentence out loud by accident. Shunsui grinned mischievously and patted her head. "See, Nanao-chan. That's why I waited so long for you to grow up. Once you are ready, you will be my fukutaichou." Somehow, the slightly libidinous eyes of Shunsui told Nanao that he wasn't entirely serious, but nevertheless she smacked him with a heavy volume and stomped away.

"Hold on, hold on." Gently, his big burly arm drew her back in and his eyes were full of furtive motives. "Take a look at this! I found this in the Research Bureau when Mayuri was napping with Nemu." "What's that, taichou?"

"It's a dimension connecting device that allows people in Rukongai to send letters and parcels over to a port here in Sereitei." Shunsui's eyes twinkled with so much boyish malice that Nanao shuddered at the unfortunate fate of his next victim. Actually, she had a very good idea of whom his next victim was, but it was better not to mention it in case he involved even more people and created a bigger mess that she would have to clean up after.

Aside from Ukitake, there weren't many plenty that Shunsui messed with on a regular basis. For starters, Yoruichi had left, so he couldn't exactly toy around of that boy Urahara and her. Besides, she had never let him off easy and he always had to dodge extra hard. That left very few people to provoke. Rangiku needed no help with her love life, and was in fact Shunsui's best sidekick whenever he played romance pundit. Then there was strange Tousen, who wasn't interested in women, Ichimaru Gin, who gave him the creeps, and Aizen, who did too well with women that it nearly rivaled him. Unforgivable.

Which meant that there was definitely a specific reason why Shunsui had decided to take a walk that was completely out of his way to pass by the Sixth Division Office.

"Kyouraku taichou, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Of course there isn't a problem. Don't you want to see what I am doing with it?"

"Will I be charged with accomplicity?"

"Not until you become my lovely fukutaichou."

"…… but Kyouraku taichou, Kuchiki taichou will be incensed."

"Isn't that fun?"

This time, Nanao quickly turned her back and fled. She was not interested in what Shunsui was up to, especially when it involved the wrath of that frighteningly callous and arrogant Kuchiki Byakuya, Head of the noble Kuchiki clan and the recently promoted Taichou of the Sixth Division. Shunsui sighed and shrugged. Nanao would have to miss out on the fun. But it's OK. I will just tell her at her bedside when she goes to sleep tonight……hehe……

"Kyouraku taichou! I am here with the signs you've told me to paint!" Matsumoto Rangiku rushed over, her pink neck scarf fluttering like a beautiful butterfly in the breeze. Promptly, she fished out the wooden signs and nails that Shunsui had told her to prepare for their latest prank. Without wasting anytime, the two quickly set up a little mailbox outside the Sixth Division. There had never been anything more suspicious.

"Do you have the spell, Rangiku-san?"

"Yes, it's right here. Bakudou Fifty Two: Root to Earth!" With a quick shot, the mailbox had been sealed to the earth, irremovable by any other hand than her own. She had sworn with Shunsui never to do so. It was fool proof.

"Kyouraku taichou, Matsumoto fukutaichou. May I please inquire your aberrant presence at my Division?"

Uh-oh. Kuchiki Byakuya. Instinctively, Shunsui grabbed Mastumoto and shunpo-ed away as far as he could carry her as quickly as possible, leaving behind an indifferent Kuchiki Byakuya, whose austere presence wavered a little as he glanced at the mail box that had been set up. He frowned at what seemed to be a decorative lipstick print at the side of the sign, which read words he could not register:

Love Letters from Rukongai: The Bya-Kun Fan Club Official Mailbox!