A promise of a life time
The little blond boy stod on the gras infront of a big house... A new house... but just like the other ones... A big house with hardly any windoes and he knew, he knew this house and these people would be just like all the other ones... just as horrible... just as painful...
He was standing there, alone... no one to hold his hand if he needed help... no one to hug him tightly when it felt like all hope was gone... He had no family, no friends... not even a place to call home...
He was crying... hoping, wishing for someone to come and rescue him... every time his new fosterparentes did something to him, every time they threw him out, he begged... begged crying for someone to help... begged for the sweet touch of a gentle hand on his cheek and a whispering voice saying: every thing's going to be all right now...
As he was standing there on the grass, whiping the tears from his cheeks he looked up on the house again... This dark house he had never even seen before... This was supoused to be his home now... but for how long would it be this time..?
He entered the front dor, taking his shoos of, dropping is sotcase on the flor...
"I'm home..." he called into the darkness of the hallway.
"You're late kid" a chilly voice answered him from the kitchen.
He was scared to the bones but even if he was still just a kid, he had alredy learned how to hide his fear... hide his emotions. No one would help him so why show the week sides of himself..?
It soon became clear that this family was just like the other ones he had been to... The two kids bullied him in school, making it impossible for him to get any friends... The husband hit him at home, molesting him when no one else was close, locking him in the house on the weekends... not even letting him open a whindoe... And the wife... she just stood there, inable to do anything... she shut here eyes and closed all dors from what happoned cause she didn't want to see...
It was just like every other place... he was to blame for it all, every time something whent wrong he was always puniced... by all of them...
It always ended in blood... his blood... And sometimes, the times when the familys got enough, when they threw him out... those times he oftenly couldn't even stand by him self aferwards...
...his body always showed bruises and marks but no one ever asked... no one even looked up... or even noticed..
Some years later...
His body was still shaking, eyes burning from tears he couldn't show... The pain in his chest was so intenns he could hardly breath and his fingers felt stiff when they reached for his neck... he could feel the blood pulsing out of the deep wound... He could feel the warm liquid running down his spine and suddenly the room darkened before his eyes...
When he woke up, he firstly didn't realise were he was... The room was cold and the curtenes didn't let any of the sunshine in.
He tiredly rubbed his eyes and looked around the room, memorising what had happened the previous hores... he sighted... why..?
He went to the bathroom... washed all the blood of his body, washing all the dirt away from his face... The mirror got him, his face was bruised, cuts and marks all over and his eye blue from a hard hit... he puked.
After some seconds of heavy breathing he got him self together and lapped his own face up with bandages, avoiding the painfully abruised face in the mirror.. he didn't want to see those eyes that begged for help, didn't want to cry any more... still he did... every night... alone..
At school no one even looked up when he entered... his teacher came and talked to him about his homework but he didn't even ask about the bruises... he didn't even look his student directly in the eyes...
The boy sighted ones again... this was his life, the way he was meant to live... the punishement he was supposed tu endure... but... the question was always "why..?"
His body was so tired and so stiff that it almost felt impossible to move as he walked across the fields on his way "home"...
The ground was soft under his feet and the flowers were in full bloom, but to him... things like that didn't matter any more... His heart was growing cold now... nothing left to love... no one left to care for... and he knew that soon he would give up, and he had allwas known that when he did... no one would even notice...
As he walked silently over the green fields he suddenly felt someone pulling his hand upwards completely in the wrong direction. He couldn't scream even if he wanted to cause a large hand was barking his mouth, making him silent. with tears of pain in his eyes, the boy was forced to the ground... with no chans to run or even fight back...
when the tears dried up he just lay there... no sound came over his dried lips, not the slightest movement of his body, not even the pain felt painful any more... he was as good as dead... nobody would ever come... nobody would ever save him...
When they were finished with him, he didn't get up... he didn't even move... his body was cold, so cold they got nervous... had they killed him? was he dead?
they left him there on the ground... cold as death he was... his vision was growing darker by the second and soon the only thing he could see was the dim light from the sunset...
"beautiful" he whispered softly, almost smiling from the warmth of the sun. "You always saw me right..?"
...he closed is eyes... feeling how heavy his body had become, how tired he was...
the sunlight was slowly disapearing along with the warmth of his body... making him weaker and weaker as his body slowly gave up...
All wishes and hopes of being saved, all the struggling, all despair and hopelessness... all of it disapeared in the blink of an eye leaving nothing but a blond little boy lying alone in the grass... A blond little boy to tired of moving on by him self...
"everything is going to be alright now.."
The words were softly whispered in his ear while smooth fingers touched his cheek... hands gently stroking his hand checking his pulls... strong arms embracing him tightly, carrying him away from the darkness... away from all loneliness...
His heart was pounding, he didn't know why... his ears were loving the sound of thos words, he didn't know why... the arms embracing him were strong, the person cared... cared for his life, he didn't know why.. he didn't understand... but it didn't matter... he didn't want to die any more...cause somebody did see him, somebody did save him this time...
This voice that brought him back, this heart pounding so close to his ear... he couldn't let them down... not now that they had saved him...
When he woke up, he firstly didn't realise were he was... The room was warm and the curtenes were pulled away letting all the sunshine in.
He rubbed his eyes, trying to memorise... realising the only thing he could remember was the heartbeat of another boy whos name he didn't even know...
The hospital was silent and his mind wondered away... back to the sunset... back to the pounding heart next to his ear...
"how are you feeling?"
the voice of the nurse scared him as she entered the room unannounced... he didn't answer just asked here the question he desperately needed to be answered.
"who carried me here?"
"oh... I don't know..." she answered surprised at his question. "I thought you knew him cause he was holding you like you were really close... he sat with you for hoers but then he just left... mabye he'll be back..?"
when she'd left the room, the blond boy waited... waited for the person he had never thought would come to save him... waiting to hear the pounding heart that made him live again...
but no one came
not that day
not the next
...he never came...
Some years passed and the blond boy moved on... he didn't want to die any more cause he had in a way been saved...
he got friends in his new school quickly, and everyone seemed to like his sense of humour... all pranks, all games circled around him.. always... no one could ever have thought that he had ones given up... he wasn't the same blond little boy that he used to be, only some times...
...when he was alone in his apartment and he felt the ugly scars on his neck... when he looked in the mirror and saw his pale face stair back at him... those were the times when he was scared of being alone...
...why didn't he come to save him this time too..?
that pounding heart that echoed in his head at sleepless nights... it was the only thing still keeping him standing... and he didn't care how long it would take... but he would find that heart again... that was a promise of a life time.