Chapter 1: The dead plant moves in mysterious ways

I really have NO IDEA where this tale come from. I don't have much joy normally with this pairing, as I cave in to my failings and ditch the story. But, if I just keep this one short, no more than three chapters, I might just stand a chance of finishing it. I dedicate this to wawayaya as she asked me for a story! Usual chuckles and angst that you get from me, please do enjoy.

The Coward, The Plant and The Scarred Lover

Disclaimers – see my profile.

Warnings – swearing and yaoi.

Summary – Kakashi panics after trying to kill himself, he doesn't want to die. Mean while thanks to a devious dead plant, Iruka finds him.

The Coward...

The blood rushed from the one cut wrist that I held in the sink. I had heard enough about this that I thought it would give me a kick somehow. I didn't feel that euphoric rush that I heard others said they'd had, I didn't feel anything but pain and panic.

I had wanted to die. I had wanted to end my sad and pitiful life because just what was the point in it any longer? I knew no one, I had no one. I hated this place I called home, I hated my stupid 'job' and more than anything I hated myself. I didn't even understand how I got here to this point any more.

I just was.

Here.

The end.

My eyes were wide and fearful as I stared at the endless rushing of blood from my wrist. Now I had the chance to grasp the fate of death, I was suddenly scared shitless that I'd actually die.

I mean DIE!

The endless chasm of black, cold loneliness of death was no different to how I was living was it. Suddenly the devil I knew was far better than the one I didn't.

"Oh fuck....OW!" My wrist stung like nothing I'd ever felt before, how the hell would I have ever managed to do both? This was crazy and I was a fool to be taken in by such a lame idea.

In a blind panic, as I felt myself begin to get dizzy, I scrabbled for the towel on the side of the bath and slipped over leaving a slime trail of blood down the side of the sink and bath panel. Not only now did I have a cut wrist, but my backside hurt like hell too. I held the towel around my wrist and pinched at the gaping hole until my hand tingled with pins and needles. I let my body lay back on the freezing cold tiled floor and stared up at the dirty cobwebbed ceiling.

The tears started falling unabated and I fell back to that familiar hatred of myself. I can't get anything right, I can't do anything right, I can't do anything at all. I'm so fucking useless. No wonder everyone hates me. No wonder I have no friends, no family, nothing... I'm a cold hearted, mindless, killer and fuck me, if I don't just deserve the shitty life I'm living.

Medi-packs are free to all shinobi and I have a good enough stash of them. Still gripping my wrist, I force myself up against side of the bath, not caring that I'd just wiped my own blood over the back of my vest. The bathroom held my stash of medical supplies and it sat neatly – just not very cleanly – under my sink. I yanked out a green pack of field supplies, which when using one hand that was also trying to stem the flow of blood from another, was not easy. The contents sprayed around my bent legs and I fisted up a handful of things with my shaky numb fingers. Lifting the limb to my mouth I gripped the edges of a sterile dressing from the lot and let the rest drop back to the mess on the floor. My teeth and good hand made light work of the wrapper and I let the towel go, hissing as the rough, now crusting fabric pulled away from the self-inflicted wound.

My attempts at cleaning away the blood only served to reopen the wound and I yelled at my self for being such a stupid fucking jerk. Before too much blood could rain down all over my trousers I managed to untidily wrap a bandage around my wrist. I let my head drop back to the edge of the bath and let out a sigh come whimper of defeat.

Coward.

The tears rose afresh and I again let them fall. My cries echoed around the small room and dismayed me even more. Wuss, pussy, lily-livered, chicken, soft, prick, jerk, idiot, stupid stupid stupid Stupid STUPID.

I didn't care that my clumsy feet trod all over the supposedly sterile dressings as I staggered to my feet and in my tired and traumatised way, I clung to the walls as I walked into the mess that was my one multi-purpose room. I'd left on the last mission in a hurry and came back to the saddened state of moulding crockery settled in a bed of brown stagnant washing up water. A fridge that had grown life forms of its own and the smell of stale male musk that clung to every soft furnishing.

The Plant...

I threw open a window, gagging on the smell, my hand jarred the pot plant that was dead and wilted and I cared not as it sailed out and down from from my third floor room. I let my body fall onto the bed and I pulled the covers over my trembling body. I wailed some more for good measure.

The Scarred One...

Now usually my late night walks help clear my mind from the constant thoughts of school. There were not many moments that I didn't spend thinking about lessons, the pupils or a new arrangement for the room. So wandering the streets at night had become my usual routine for bed.

But right now, my body had frozen mid step. My hands once loosely held in my pockets had stiffened and my overly active mind ceased all thoughts but – Holy fucking shit!

At my feet, the remains of a once beautiful no doubt, pot plant. It had skimmed past my head with only a foot to spare. If I had left the house one second earlier I would have joined the plant on the footpath but instead of the pot being shattered to pieces, it no doubt would have been my skull!

Instant rage fuelled my synapses and I growled openly as I looked up at the one and only open window. Reckless! Just how reckless were the inhabitants of that home?! I am not one to usually swear but really! That pot nearly bloody hit me!

My hands were clenched and I battled a moment silently to ponder going up there in a rampage or just letting it go. I really would have liked to give them a piece of my mind for being so careless.

A sound hit my thoughts. My softer side pushed its way ahead in my mind and I looked around wondering where the sound was coming from. Crying? I could hear crying. My hand uncurled and I relaxed back into my normal mode of operation. Someone really sounded upset. My head followed the sound and I found myself looking back up at the open window.

The Coward...

The knocking on the door was irritating. The only people who ever knocked always had the wrong door and when I did open, I was tired of the fear that crept far too quickly into their eyes. They'd back up and head off with profuse apologies and leave me grouchy and all alone again.

"I know you are in there, you just threw a pot plant at me!" Came through the woodwork and I cursed loudly. "I can hear you swearing, just open up!" That's all I wanted right now. I felt weak enough to want to stay in my bed for a week and here was some jumped up ninja thinking they could take on the Copynin, so no doubt they were pumped full of adrenalin and ready to go.

"Go away." I yelled letting my full rage show in my baritone voice. The knocking stopped, but the shadow of feet stayed in place.

The Scarred One...

I was sure I knew that voice. I stood a moment trying to think on it, I was good with faces and names I just needed to let my mind wander a moment.

"Hatake Kakashi?" I said trying out the name. I hadn't heard that for a while, since everything with his three students, the man had hardly been seen. Even working in the mission room, I hadn't seen him nor heard anything. Three years had passed and that was a long time in a quite village full of gossip. Gossip that said the man had gone to ground at losing Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto. ANBU of course it was obvious, had sunk their clutches back into the seasoned fighter. "Would you like your plant back, I'm afraid the pot is broken." My mind was whirling, if he was back from a mission, standing here and inviting myself in with such an aggressive tone, was probably not a way to ensure I met my grave late into my eighties. "I have another pot at my house, would you like me to bring it over?" My mouth began to ramble with no thought that it may well have only been the door and dead plant listening to me. "You know I had no idea you lived here, I only live just along the road and yet I've never seen you around." There was a shuffling on the other side and I had the impression that the owner was now standing the other side of the door. At least they were listening. "I guess you must be back from a long mission. I heard that Naruto is doing well, I had a letter from him only this week. Not that it said much more than he misses the ramen, apparently we have the best here. You know how he is, only ever thinking of his stomach." I laughed.

The Coward...

Iruka.

My thoughts swam no doubt from the blood loss as well now as tiredness, hunger and yearning for a life I had once.

Iruka.

The teacher was talking away and to be truthful I didn't really make out much of the words, I was far too intent on the sound of his voice. That man was an enigma to me.

The Plant...

"Well, you must be tired...I'll just leave the plant here." He was obviously giving up on me too. I let my body slide down the wall and my head crumple into my hands. Don't go... Please don't go. I yearned for that voice to just keep talking, to let me know that outside this hell I was in, that the world was fine. But a sadness crept in, in its place and I realised that if the world was indeed fine without me, then it didn't need me nor miss me.

The Scarred One...

I placed the plant down by the door and made to leave. I stood and paused, should I say something else? I don't know what kind of magnetic force was keeping me rooted to this spot but I felt drawn for some reason. The plant shone up at me even though it was way past any sort of revival. A sort of tug told me that there was more death ready and waiting to happen in the apartment, yet I could catch it just in time if I stayed. It was as if a pain was radiating out from the very fabric of the room.

Or was that just an over active imagination? Iruka you know you have a way too vivid mind. Probably the poor sod is just suffering from low Chakra.

Well if that were the case, who am I to intrude on the man's private time?

But my feet wouldn't move, my mind was too full of the worst case scenario's. With his way of life that could also mean... the sob that escaped the doors seal and seemed to fit with my thoughts. It could also mean a broken spirit and none deserved to break more than the man inside. He had done so much for the village and suffered so much in the villages need. "Kakashi?" I breathed into the wood, my face just from resting against the painted surface. My hands both now touching the wood and my senses feeing inside the room.

The weak signal I received back startled me and I fisted the lock quickly. I turned and rattled the lock fruitlessly.

"Open this door!" I said imploring the man to let me help.

"NO." The voice was husky and pained. But it was close, he was truly just inside the door and low down too.

I knelt and spoke through the crack of the door. "Are you just back from a mission?"

"Yes." He replied quietly but enough for me to hear it.

"Are you injured?" I asked.

"I'm so stupid Iruka." The sobs started again and for some reason I felt very alarmed. There was just this edge to his voice that stank of more than mission stress.

"Open this door or I will break it down!" I used my full teacher mode as I stood and banged at the door loudly.

"Go away. Let me be." The voice was weaker now and I acted on instinct with a raised foot I kicked at the door beside the lock. I should have taken time to be proud of the simple release of the door and the way in sprang open to my command. I looked inside instead and down at the huddle of bed covers and silver hair. There was not much discernible colouration between Kakashi and his hair and I was instantly alarmed. He barely made a move as I tugged at the coverings to find his blood covered body, still dressed and weakened. I also found a badly dressed wound on his right wrist, but at least it he had made some attempt to dress it.

The state he was in, it was no wonder he didn't open the door, I don't think he could had stood if he had tried. I took one dismal look around the room and my face screwed up at the state of it. Who would have predicted the infamous Copynin would be so untidy – no one hey?

"Have you eaten?" A shake of the head. "Have you slept?" Another shake. "Bad mission?"

"Bad life." He whimpered crumpling his face into his hands obviously not wishing for me to see him cry.

"That is just ridiculous." I took another scan of the room setting a plan into action, my hands on my hips helped although I don't know why. Well the man was only fit for his bed and that needed fresher bedding. "Where do you keep your bed linen?" A feeble hand pointed towards a trunk by the wardrobe and I stormed over with my self set mission in mind. A plume of dust later and the bed was clean and ready for an occupant. I lifted the surprisingly light man to his feet and urged him towards his bed, settling him propped up on some pillows.

The Coward...

It was as if some battle cry had gone off in Iruka's head and my fuzzy mind watched the younger man rattle around my tiny one room. The clonks and thuds of my three kitchen cupboards echoed in my fragile mind as if a hangover had landed with a vengeance. But time and space became a little warped and where as one moment I was watching him hunting for food the next he appeared sitting at my side lifting a mug of instant ramen to my lips.

The Scarred One...

I could see that Kakashi was wavering in and out of consciousness now. I had to be quick to get some fluid and nourishment into his system before he went into shock. At least I managed to get a full cup and half inside him before he finally slid into his much needed sleep.

My next thoughts were how natural a sleep was it? Should I be more worried? The bandaging on his wrist was woefully inadequate and I guessed his supplies were in the standard medical cabinet in the bathroom. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw what a state the bathroom was in. This amount of blood was worrying and without any other thoughts I sped off to the Hokage.

...

"Ermmm." For some reason, rather than treating Kakashi, she was rather more interested in the bathroom. She reached into the bloody sink and I gasped as she picked up a stained kunai. "Stupid brat." She mumbled dropping it back down and pushing past me to roughly manhandle the covers and make light work of the stained dressing on his wrist. "Iruka!" She barked at me.

"Yes Hokage-sama?" I watched her hand glow as she began to heal the freshly bleeding wound.

"Help me undress the useless swine and then get this bloody mess of a flat sorted out. I'm reassigning you as babysitter to this stupid fool. If he so much as picks up a sharp object I want you to knock him into next week!"

"Pardon!" I fumbled over my racing thoughts a moment.

"This isn't a battle wound Iruka. The fool tried to kill himself!" Her long fingernails tugged at the standard supply pants and began to tug them down. I guess they were bloody, maybe I should have looked for other wounds too and so I instantly stepped forward and helped. Thankfully the body we revealed held nothing more than old wounds, creamy white skin and an obvious lack of food.

"Was he on a long mission?" I asked as my eyes were glued on the rows of ribs.

"Fairly. Usual for him though, don't fret, he's not the type to carry too much weight. He's always been this scrawny since he his parents died." Her fingers began to relieve him of his mask and I turned my head much to her mocking laugh. "You'd be surprised what's under there." She continued her checking for more wounds. "Course, I saw this pretty little face the moment he sprang from his mothers guts so I know what he's trying to hide all this time. Damn shame. Still can't have my minions distracted by such a stunner like this." I tried to peep with one crafty eye after hearing that and she barked out a loud laugh that could wake the dead. Kakashi's face was already hidden again and I saw nothing but a grinning Tsunade; her baiting me to look had worked and she began to head towards the door with a smug grin. "Keep him fed, rested and what ever. Use your instincts Umino. Now who needs a good dose of pregenin's?" Her face twisted into an evil smirk and I felt sorry for whoever had just landed the task of my rowdy bunch at the academy.

I looked back at the killing machine laying so placidly in the wrinkled bedding. I figured if it was me, I'd wake to utilise that instinct if I was found naked in bed with a stranger wandering around. I fished through the single wardrobe at the tangle of clothing shoved in the base and pulled out a simple pair of black pants. There simply wasn't any choice of anything else.

I slid the left foot into the fabric I had bunched up in my hands and then repeated this with the right. The sleeping man obviously had ticklish feet as he jolted just so slightly as my hand brushed past his soul. I smiled at the human side to him and tugged the pants up to his knees before becoming a little alarmed at how close my face had become to his very revealed and... well endowed genitalia. My mind chuckled that he was grey even down there although I don't know why I was so surprised by that. It was a given. It took more than a little effort to slide the elasticated waist band up his thigh and one hip whilst I rolled him onto his side, turning my head away from the VERY close dick. When I rolled him back I stifled a prudish laugh at the sight of the waist band propping up the long appendage. A moan soon followed however when I realised I had to get the other side up now too and that meant... untucking his... thing... from its position. Honestly I didn't know why I was so worried, I'd gone down on more than one man in my time and this Icon of maleness had always held a quantity of awe in me. Now here I was actually centimetres away from it and no longer wondering just how big the rumours meant!

Did I fancy Kakashi? Yeah, who didn't? I had even heard very butch males hail - Hell I'd turn gay if he came onto me!

Horrified seconds passed where I hitched the waist band over the last hip and millimetre by millimetre; the thing would just not get inside the pants! It seemed quite happy to pinned against its owners abdomen – hell his chest almost wouldn't be a stretch of the imagination!

I don't know why I did it, but I closed my eyes, pinged open the waist band and quickly just grabbed it and shoved it down. My heart was yammering inside my chest and my fingers came out as if fired from a gun. They stung almost from the memory of the soft flesh and I stood there like an idiot just looking at my hand almost grinning like Naruto! Just how the hell was I going to get through this stupid situation I'd gotten myself into?