All right, 'ello, 'ello, 'ello, I am TheSpaminator92 and I will be your host for the duration of this crazy ride through Middle Earth. This is my very first chapter of my very first story, that I hope will be the first of a long epic.
Warnings: there will be graphic battle descriptions, cursing, crude humor, huge amounts of sarcasm, eventual sexual situations, eventual malexmale and straight relationships, discussions of religion and culture, and probably a few things that I am forgetting, just know this will be a very mature fanfic and if that isn't your thing, maybe give it a go, or not, up to you. Reviews will be appreciated, especially if constructive, haters gonna hate just know if you are being over the top I will block you and report you cause I am not taking your crap.
Disclaimers: All original characters belong to me, the rest belong to the great and amazing Tolkien, and who ever else owns the stuff I will likely be referencing in this fic, like Disney, Warner brothers, Bethesda Softworks, and various singers and songwriters. If you disagree with anything I write, please respect my right to have my own opinions and I will respect your right to disagree with me.
Now, on with the adventure! (btw, sorry if the beginning is a little slow, it gets better as I get into the meat of the story)
She felt disoriented, dizzy, with a pounding headache like she was on a tilt-o-whirl with a hangover. She sat up, though she didn't remember laying down, and put a hand to her head, trying to soothe the ache behind her eyes and get her bearings. Her eyes opened to a landscape she didn't recognize, rolling hills of green, green grass, blue skies as far as the eye could see, and a river...that was what made her realize she was no where near home anymore.
Gone were the tumble weeds, dry grass, and clay soil she was accustomed to, no longer surrounded by the mountains and foothills of the valley she was raised in, but a place greener and more alive with nature than any she had ever seen, though it honestly reminded her of the scenery from the Lord of the Rings movies.
Then Gandalf walked into her field of vision, and she wondered if she was indeed in Middle Earth, then the wizard started talking to her.
/Blunt the Knives/
"Young lady, are you quite alright? Does your head pain you?" The wizard motioned to the hand she held to her head with his staff as he made his way up to her from the base of the hill she was laying on.
"No, I'm good." She put her raised hand in her lap and squinted up at his face beneath his hat, and was surprised to find, though he did greatly resemble the actor from the movies, he did not look exactly like him. This Gandalf looks a little less wrinkly, his hair and beard more neat, and his eyes are bright with mischief, and knowing. That knowing look bothers her, makes her feel like she is about to have something blow up in her face and it will be all this man's fault.
"That is good to hear, I was worried your journey here would cause you a little more disorientation." He held out his hand, which she gratefully took because she was still a bit dizzy, but paused, because the sleeve that covered her arm did not belong to any shirt she owned. She looked down and discovered she was dressed in clothes not her own, clothes that looked like they belonged in a renaissance fair.
She was dressed in black pants made of thick cloth, knee high leather boots, a light blue tunic with embroidery around the neck and cuffs, a leather jerkin, gauntlets, and fingerless gloves that were all reinforced with more leather and some steel. Her new ensemble was finished off with a coat of darker blue than her tunic, that went to her mid calf, held in place by a thick leather belt and an ornate buckle. Oddly enough, all of these clothes had one unifying theme, a pattern that looked to be a combination of Greek key and Celtic knots appeared as the detail on all of the borders, cuffs, and buckles of each garment.
After taking all of this in, she allowed Gandalf to help her up, but then she remembered what he had just said, and asked,"Wait, my journey? You brought me here?" Looking around she added, "Where is here anyway?"
Instead of answering her question Gandalf asked, "What is the last thing you remember before waking on this hill?"
Giving him an annoyed look for trying to change the subject, she crossed her arms across her chest, cocked a hip and thought about it. "The last thing I remember is walking home from work." She paused, taking on a disgruntled look," I heard a noise, turned around...and everything went black...What happened to me?" She looked up at Gandalf, looking for answers.
Gandalf's face softened and he finally answered her question," You are in Middle Earth and the Valar brought you here. Why, I am not entirely sure, but I do know that you are meant to come along on a journey that is about to commence, and that you are not meant to ever return to the place you once called home. So come along Miss...um, pardon me, but I do not believe I asked you your name? I am Gandalf the Grey, by the way." He looked down at her now stunned, and slightly dismayed, face with sympathy in his eyes, sympathy that did nothing to quell the growing storm in her heart and mind, cue crap blowing up in her face.
"My name? Uh, my name is Samantha Clen, but most people call me Sam. Now what do you mean, I am not meant to go home? Why? What journey? What am I even meant to do?" She looked up at him, looking for some reason to believe this was just an odd dream, and that a wizard that is supposed to be a fictional character in a book did not just tell her that she would never go home again, and that the gods of this world had something planned for her, but he just shook his head at her and started walking down the hill towards a dirt road she had failed to notice previously.
Sam was walking quickly after him and was going to repeat her question, when he turned around and called," Miss Sam, please do not forget your things, it would be most disadvantageous if you did not have them on our journey."
"My things, what things?" She turned around to see if she could find what he was talking about and spotted, to her surprise, a fully stuffed pack, a bow and quiver, a collection of knives of varying lengths, and two curved swords, all with the same pattern as her clothing on them to boot. The weapons threw her for a bit of a loop (because the most dangerous thing she had ever held was a cleaver), but she just shrugged and picked it all up, sprinting to catch up with the wizard, who had somehow gotten a ways up the road in the amount of time she had been turned around.
Sam ran up beside him and was about to start questioning him again, when she noticed just where they were walking. It was Hobbiton. She was actually in Hobbiton, and there were actual Hobbits! She momentarily started geeking out at everything, turning around, walking backwards, just trying to soak it all in and get a gander at everything, then she noticed just how much attention she was getting, returned some stares (which promptly causes those staring to startle and turn away), then turned around and tried to act inconspicuous. It was just like her trip to China, everyone was staring at her because she stuck out like a sore thumb, but this time it was because of her height (all imposing 5ft 4' of her) rather than the fact that she was obviously Caucasian.
So she followed Gandalf, figuring she would corner him later and ask all the questions she was currently keeping to herself. Soon they arrived at a hobbit hole with a hobbit sitting on a bench in front of the door smoking. Sam was struck by just how small hobbits actually are; this hobbit couldn't be much more than three and a half feet tall. Then Gandalf started talking to him, and the hobbit suddenly had a very familiar name, Bilbo Baggins. He was definitely rounder than the actor from the movies, looked a little older, but otherwise very much resembled him. He was dressed in a rich burgundy waistcoat, dark brown trousers, and a white shirt, the copious amounts of hair on his feet and legs was a dark drown color and looked to be neatly groomed. It was at this point she realized the adventure Gandalf had been referring to was, in fact, the quest to reclaim Erebor. Sam figured that she was meant to do something with this quest, a thought that quelled some of her inner panic at the situation and not having a damn clue what to do, even if she had the barest of inklings.
Bilbo and Gandalf's conversation proceeded much as it had in the movie with few deviations...Until Gandalf brought her into the conversation.
"Now Bilbo, are you so opposed to an adventure that you would not at least allow this young lady, with nowhere to stay, to wait in your smial until the other travelers arrive?"
Bilbo was, of course, a very proper and respectable hobbit, and, as such, could not turn away a young woman in need, no matter how unwilling he, and the young woman in question, happen to be. The fact that she was a Big Person made him a bit nervous, but watching her glare at Gandalf for his (predictable) pushiness and then give him a shy, but bright, smile made him a bit more comfortable with the idea. "Of course not! I do not mind giving a traveler a place to rest, so long as she is not opposed to the idea?" He glanced at her, she shook her head as Gandalf answered for her,"No, she is not."
"Well then, Miss..uh. I'm sorry I didn't catch your name?"
"My name is Samantha Clen, Master Baggins, but you can call me Sam. Thank you so much for your hospitality and willingness to allow me into your home." Bilbo was pleasantly surprised by her polite response and, at Gandalf's meaningful look, ushered her inside of his home.
/Bend the Forks/
Bag End was, in a word, amazing. The movies just did not do it justice. Everything was made of polished, weathered wood that was well cared for and reminded Sam of woodwork found in old European churches. The floors were covered in richly colored rugs that made Bag End all the more homey. The halls were full of furnishings that would be any antique lovers dream (she should know, she had been dragged to antique stores by her parents since she was old enough to walk). Sam only had a few moments to, once again, geek out when Bilbo asked her," Would you care for something to eat Miss Sam? I do believe it is about time for elevensies." She smiled, suddenly recalling just how much, and often, hobbits ate.
"That would be too kind of you Master Baggins."
"Oh, no, not at all. And you may call me Bilbo, Miss Sam. As you will be staying in my home until your companions arrive in the Shire, we need not be too formal, I should think." He lead her down a hall to the dining room, where he motioned for her to sit. He returned with a tray laden with food, and they both began to eat. She hoped he would enjoy this pre-lunch, because, given their fast approaching adventure, this would be the last large meal he would have for a while. While they ate she began to wonder how exactly she, or Gandalf for that matter, was supposed to convince Thorin Oakenshield, grumpiest and most suspicious of all dwarves, to take a young, human woman on a quest to reclaim an ancient dwarven kingdom, not to mention kill a damn DRAGON, with him and his companions.
/Smash the Baubles/
Sam knew what was coming, so when evening descended upon the Shire, she grew nervous. She had settled on assuming that Gandalf had something up his sleeve, because she honestly had no idea how she would convince his royal grumpiness to allow her to go on their quest, since that was apparently what she was supposed to do and she had no where else to go. Not wanting to dwell on that train of thought, she was glad when the first knock on the door finally arrived.
Bilbo looked at her questioningly, to which Sam only shrugged, and got up, beginning to grumble about unexpected visitors and crazy wizards. She followed Bilbo down the hall to the door, after abandoning the meal that she knew would soon be eaten by someone else, and stood waiting in the round doorway just to the left of the entryway, so she could watch everything.
/Burn the Corks/
"Dwalin, at your service."
When Dwalin walked into the hobbit's home he took note of the expert wood and stone work, of the fine things he both had no use or appreciation for (like pottery and china), and he took note of the hobbit himself. He was a small, little thing, looking up at him with big, blue eyes, the eyes of a creature that had not known the hardships or the horrors of the world as he had known them and was thus as soft as a down pillow, especially around the middle from the look of him. Dwalin was not an unkind dwarf, rather the opposite if you earned his respect and friendship, but life had taught him to be wary, and thus he was suspicious.
"Where is the food? The wizard said there would be good food and lots of it." The little hobbit, Bilbo Baggins he remembered, looked a little put out, yet motioned for him to follow him all the same, but came up short when they both saw a young, human woman.
"My apologies, Miss Sam, I had forgotten you were there for a moment. Master Dwalin, this is Miss Sam, a house guest of mine for the time being. Miss Sam, this is Master Dwalin."
Dwalin bowed to the lady, though he did not know what to make of her. She was only about four or so inches taller than himself, had brown hair that went just below her shoulders, eyes that appeared to be a grayish green, high cheek bones, small ears, and seemed to be both broad of shoulder and of hip. Her lack of height and broad build was unusual for a human, especially a woman, in his experience, but she gave him a shy and friendly smile with only kind curiosity in her eyes, rather than the outright disdain and arrogance that he was familiar with in much of her kind, as she returned his bow and said, "Hello, Master Dwalin. It is nice to meet you, and, please, Bilbo and Master Dwalin, just call me Sam, the Miss is entirely to formal for a gal like me."
He raised an eyebrow at this, while Bilbo only nodded his head. She raised an eyebrow back at him, her smile turning to a grin. He couldn't help but smile back, finding that he was already beginning to like this polite, grinning woman, despite what experience had taught him about humans, and his better judgement, and said,"As you wish, Sam." He did not know why he had taken an instant liking to her, when he seldom did anyone, but his gut was telling him she was alright. After bowing her head to him in appreciation of his respect of her request, she turned and started following their mutual host in his trek towards the kitchen where Dwalin spotted the two cooked trout and biscuits, and promptly took a seat at the table. With a nod and a mumbled,"Help yourself, please." from the hobbit he dug in with relish, oblivious to the bemused look of the woman and the disgusted look of the hobbit.
Some time later, after he had scarfed down all of the food on the table and had moved to scavenging things from various jars, his brother arrived. Balin was treated to much the same bewildered introduction with the hobbit and he seemed to be as bemused and confused by the presence of the woman as he was, but the confused expression left his face when he spotted his brother. Dwalin sauntered up to Balin with a grin on his face and clapped both of his hands on his shoulders as he said, "Hello brother, you look wider and shorter than when last we met."
"Wider, not shorter, but sharp enough for both of us, hm?" Balin smiled up at his little brother and they promptly smacked their foreheads together, as Bilbo stomped off to put on some proper clothes while Sam took a seat by the door, occasionally sneaking looks at the two.
Those looks prompted Dwalin to ask, quietly,"What do ya' make o' the lass? She does na' seem ta be a threat, and does na' treat us, or the hobbit for tha' matter, as other humans are wan' ta do, but her presence here, on the eve of the beginning of our quest, is most suspicious, I should think."
Balin nodded his head in agreement and replied,"I agree, her presence here is rather suspicious, but she seems only curious of us, and I get the feeling she means us no harm. All the same, a human in the Shire in and of itself is an odd occurrence, one lodging in the same house as we, at the same time, is even more of an oddity, so we best keep an eye on her until we know a bit more."
During their conversation they had wondered into the pantry, going through the food and getting some ale. Balin picked up a wedge of cheese and looked at it curiously, grimacing,"This cheese has gone bleu, why does he still have it in here?"
"He still has it in here because it's supposed to look like that, it's just a kind of aged cheese."
Balin and Dwalin startled at the interjection, and turned around to find the young woman, Sam, leaning on the doorway of the pantry, smiling with her arms crossed, and a raised eyebrow. She added,"It's actually called bleu cheese, as a matter of fact."
The sons of Fundin looked at each other, then back at her.
"Really now? Then how do you suggest we eat it then?" Dwalin posed his question with one hand on his hip, the other tightly grasping a mug of ale, then turned back toward the food. Balin simply shook his head and replaced the cheese back on it's plate.
"Well, it's good on a salad, or eaten with walnuts and honey on a cracker, though it could be eaten in a variety of ways." At the mention of a salad both dwarves shuddered simultaneously, after which they heard a girlish giggle and a not so girlish snort. They both turned around again to find Sam with her eyes wide, turning red with a hand over her mouth, and found they could not help but chuckle at her. She smiled and chuckled herself, then turned around at the sound of Bilbo saying,"I'm sorry."
Apparently the three of them had missed his rant, so Balin simply replied,"Apology accepted." and went back to the food. Sam just rolled her eyes in commiseration with Bilbo and turned back to the dwarves, about to give them some more commentary on the food, when another knock sounded at the door.
/Chip the Glasses/
Fili laughed at his brothers's blatant mispronunciation of their host's name as he handed said (bewildered and annoyed) host all of his newly sharpened knives while Kili scraped the mud off of his boots on something called a glory box. Fili turned around when he heard his brother fondly say," Mister Dwalin." and saw said dwarf clap his little brother on the shoulder, while Balin gave him a smile a little ways further past the doorway of the kitchen they were standing in.
Balin bid both of the young dwarves help move all of the cabinetry out of the hobbit's dinning room, as it was a little too crowded at the moment to fit all of their party.
"Here, let me give you a hand." Needless to say that Fili and Kili were not expecting a human woman to offer them help with moving the furniture. At their bewildered expressions she continued,"Hello, I am Sam. I am also a guest of Bilbo's. I don't think he will quite like you moving his furniture, so why don't I help you move it so that nothing gets damaged, hm? Then maybe you two can tell me your names?" They nodded dumbly as Balin chuckled at their expressions and were surprised to find that she was more than capable of helping them move the cabinets without much fuss.
/Crack the Plates/
Kili was not sure what to make of the woman as she straightened after having hunched over to move the cabinets. She had a friendly enough demeanor and was dressed much as any traveler would be, though her clothing had a unique design as the detail. She looked at he and his brother with a crooked grin and slightly amused look, and seemed to be waiting for something. Then he remembered, introductions were in order.
"Hello, Sam. I am Kili,-"
"And I am Fili,-"
"-son of Dis, at your service." They bowed simultaneously, which made her giggle. Both brothers were pleased by this response to their introduction, as it meant this woman found them pleasant rather than annoying and childish like most women accused them of being.
"Hello, Fili and Kili, sons of Dis. It is a pleasure to meet you." She gave them a little curtsy.
Their introductions were left at that, as Balin called them to help move more of the furniture. Kili looked back over his shoulder at Sam, just as he was about to pass into the dining room again. Their eyes met, they both grinned, and he felt something in his chest. As he walked behind his brother, Kili had the distinct impression he had just met someone who would be a dear friend for the rest of his life, and by the look Fili gave him as they bent to lift another cabinet, he had the same feeling. He did not know why Sam was in Bag End this night, but he knew she would be leaving with them come morning, he was sure of it.
/That's What Bilbo Baggins Hates!/
The youngest members of the Company were just as charming, sweet, and mischievous as she had thought they would be, and she was pleased to find that they did not seem to share the suspicions that the older dwarves did. The strange feeling she had had, which she suspected the brothers had shared in with her if their more-honest-than-for-show smiles they had sent her way when they moved another cabinet were anything to go by, told her that if she were to have any allies in her attempts to convince their uncle to let her come with them, it would be those two, and Gandalf of course, though she might have unlikely allies in Balin and Dwalin, as slim as the chances were. Sam also had the feeling that those two mischievous dwarves would be her constant companions, and sources of amusement, for the rest of the journey.
She turned around when she heard the third and final knock at the door. The avalanche of dwarves that fell in the door was a sight to see. Their exasperated and annoyed grumbling was also rather entertaining.
"Oi! Get yer elbow out of mi back!"
"Bombur, get off! I can't breath!"
"Whose hand is on my ass?! I'll cut yer hand off!"
"What did ye say?"
They disentangled from each other and slowly got off the floor, making the way for Gandalf, who simply smirked at the disgruntled hobbit, and nodded in acknowledgment at Sam.
As Bilbo started arguing with Gandalf about the presence of so many dwarves in his smial, said dwarves got up and headed for the pantry, none seemingly realizing they were being watched by an incredibly amused human who took note of them and their antics.
They immediately started raiding the pantry for food and the kitchen for utensils and plates. She spied Bofur taking a bite of a biscuit then putting it back on the plate, as he wiped another plate he had just taken from a stack with his mitten, and this was after he had brought food into the dining room, one plate in each hand and one precariously balanced on his hat. Bombur and Bifur were placing food on the table, Bifur grunting in what could have only been Khuzdul, making hand motions in Iglishmek as his cousins nodded. Gloin was talking into Oin's ear trumpet as they both picked up plates of meat from the pantry. Dori was in the kitchen making tea while Nori grabbed some loaves of bread and Ori helped Bofur set the table.
She watched as they all sat down while Bilbo sputtered and Gandalf puffed on his pipe in his seat. Balin and Dwalin seemed to have forgotten she was there as they puttered around with their fellow dwarves and took their seats. Only Fili and Kili seemed to remember she was there as Kili handed her some food on a plate, knowing the food on the table would soon be gone (after a considerable amount had been thrown around and devoured by a band of very hungry dwarves) and not wanting to be inconsiderate of the lady, while Fili handed her an ale as they gave her matching, charming grins before joining their kin. Fili hopped on the table and walked the length, handing out ale as he went, whereas Kili had meandered through the kitchen to get to his seat. Sam sat down in a chair to eat her food and drink her pleasantly bitter ale, as she continued to watch them all, wondering how different dwarven manners were from hobbits and humans, and she couldn't help but think how her mother would have killed her dead if she had even thought of doing half the crap these jokers were doing now.
When they were all done eating, Kili winked at her as he went into the kitchen, just before the still oblivious to her presence Ori had his plate taken by the impishly grinning Fili, who also winked at her just as he spotted his brother standing with his pipe by the kitchen door. The brothers of the line of Durin started tossing the plates and other dishes as Bofur started the song she remembered so well from the movie. He really was an exceptional singer, and the music she soon heard was on key with nary a flat or sharp note. She watched as Bifur washed all the dishes at record speed, after catching everything thrown at him without looking, as the rest of the dwarves made a show (except for the apparently exasperated Balin) of tossing everything around, trying to give Bilbo a heart attack. Fili and Kili, she got the feeling, were being more dramatic for her benefit, as they both kept glancing her way as they did daring stunts with the pottery. She heard the lot of them laughing in the kitchen as she swiped at the smoke left in the hallway by their pipes, when the final knock sounded at the door.
/Cut the Cloth/
Thorin walked into the hobbit's home, annoyed with his own lack of direction and Gandalf's convoluted directions through the maze that was the Shire, then became more annoyed when he saw the hobbit himself. He was a small, round thing, with hairy feet, there was nothing else noteworthy about him in Thorin's eyes. He did not understand why Gandalf wanted this pathetic creature for their burglar. He expressed as much when he called him a grocer.
Sam watched him from around the doorjamb of the adjacent room, right in front of the door to the kitchen. She was sorely tempted to tell Thorin off for being so damn rude to someone who was doing him a kindness, but she refrained from revealing herself to the rest of them just yet, she did not want Thorin to have time to brood over why a human, let alone a woman, would be there, nor did she want to allow him to get angry for Gandalf's meddling. She figured her best bet, after ruminating on her previous, almost non-existent, plan, besides Gandalf and the goofy brothers, would be to take Thorin by surprise and wiggle her way into the company through that opening, otherwise, she figured he would definitely say no or, more likely, a resounding HELL NO!
He walked into the dining room and sat down while Dori grabbed him some soup and an ale before retaking his seat. As the dwarves started their discussion of Dain and how it would just be the lot of them retaking the mountain, as well as the nonsense about Gandalf killing lots of dragons, those silly boys, Bilbo came up behind them to listen and she stood just to the side of the doorway, both to avoid being seen and to avoid the smoke from Gandalf and Bilbo's pipes. Sometimes having asthma was a pain in the ass.
She listened until they started discussing the map, then she appeared at Bilbo's side because he motioned her over, likely at a sign from Gandalf. The dwarves that had been paying attention to what was going on around them stared at her for a moment before their attention was drawn back to the map. Kili and Fili smiled at her, while Dwalin and Balin simply glanced at her. At Bilbo's comment about needing an expert burglar, Thorin turned to glance at him, but then his eyes landed on her and stayed there. He looked at her with a combination of bafflement and surprise, the expression soon morphing into one of surprised anger. Gandalf took this as his cue for an introduction.
"I see you have finally noticed our lady guest. This is Miss Samantha Clen, she has been brought here from a land far away from here to aide you on your quest and I urge you to accept her into your company."
Thorin narrowed his eyes as his gaze slid between the woman and the wizard. Bilbo looked utterly bewildered and most of the dwarves looked surprised by this turn of events, while Fili and Kili looked pleased and exited. Dwalin and Balin glanced at each other, then looked at Sam, and gave her an appraising look. Her presence now made sense to them, but they did not know if she would be an asset to their quest by way of fighting prowess or anything of that nature, Balin, however, appreciated the fact that she was a human and she did not appear to harbor any ill intent or will towards dwarves meant that she could be an asset when they had to deal with other humans, or elves even, because they would not treat her as they treated dwarves, something they could use to their advantage. As Balin pondered these possibilities, Dwalin was considering whether or not she would be a burden to protect or train, as well as if she could bring any intellect to the company, because Balin was correct in his assessment of the Company's lack of thinkers and planners, but he did not know enough about her to tell whether she could help them in that manner or not.
Thorin finally broke the tense silence," And what, pray tell Gandalf, could this woman possibly do for us? And how do we know we can trust her?"
Before Sam could speak for herself Gandalf answered for her," Why, she could provide many things, such as a woman's intuition and insight from another's perspective when making plans or when things go awry, and, trust me, as least one thing will go awry with you lot involved." He gave the dwarves a meaningful look.
While Dwalin conceded that having someone along who looked at things differently than they would all be want to do could be an asset, but he took issue with the other half of the statement and made it known, before Thorin could get another word in.
"And why would a woman's intuition be so much better tha' a male's, eh? Meaning no offense ta Sam, bu' wha' advantage could a woman's mind possibly have over a male's tha' would make 'er an asset on our quest?"
Ignoring Thorin's cocked eyebrow at the way his old friend had addressed her, because he had never known Dwalin to drop a Miss or Madam from a lady's name except at their own request or when he was particularly agitated. Sam spoke before Gandalf had the chance to cut her off.
"The advantage that a woman's mind has over a man's, Master Dwalin, lies in the fact that our minds are not divided between two heads." She said all of this with a devilish grin, a level look, and an eyebrow cocked so high it almost met her hairline, as she looked at Dwalin.
Bilbo and Dori looked aghast at her statement, going red in the face, while Gandalf only chuckled heartily at her pluck.
All of the dwarves, Thorin, included, simply stared at her for a few seconds, completely surprised by the clever, if a little crude, answer, the blunt way she had delivered it, and her decidedly smug expression. Then, Thorin not included, they all burst out laughing. Bofur was whacking the table with his hand as he doubled over cackling, deciding her rather liked this young lady and her sense of humor, Bifur just grinned and nodded at her, Bombur held his stomach as he laughed, Nori fell out of the chair he had been leaning backwards in he was laughing so hard, and Ori was trying to manage his giggles, and his blush, lest Dori be cross with him for laughing at the crass humor of her statement. Gloin and Oin were chuckling to themselves, their chuckles tapering off only to be renewed. Fili and Kili were just cackling, leaning on each other as they lost their balance in their mirth, giving Sam a thumbs up as they continued to laugh. Balin chuckled, terribly amused by her response because it sounded incredibly similar to what Thorin's sister, Dis, might say if posed the same question, and Dwalin, he was roaring with laughter, doubled over using the table for support. Why was he not surprised that this young woman had a sharp tongue? It seemed to suit her.
Dwalin finally managed to speak through his laughter,"Aye, lass, aye, tha' is true. Sometimes males are indeed prone ta na' listenin' ta the head between their shoulders, in favor o' the other, especially where a pretty woman is concerned. I do believe a min' like yours might be to our benefit ta have along if'n ya' make a habit o' bein' tha' clever in all things."
Balin nodded in agreement to his brother's statement," Indeed, she might be an asset for that reason, and also for dealing with men, or elves for that matter, who might be more likely to lend us aide or sell us supplies if she is part of our party, even more so given the fact that she has no ill will towards dwarves, unlike so many of her kin."
Thorin gave Balin a questioning look,"And how do you know she bears dwarves no ill will? Her presence here does not mean she is our friend."
Balin returned the look with a sheepish grin,"Well, Thorin, I know because I spoke with her before you got here, as did Dwalin, Fili, and Kili." Thorin was still looking at him questioningly, so he continued,"She was here before all of us, now I know it was because of Gandalf, and I say she does not bear us ill will because she was polite and helpful to us, helping move furniture out of this room so we could all sit in here, and before that we had a rather friendly conversation about some of the food in the pantry that Dwalin nor I recognized, bleu cheese as I recall."
Ignoring the tidbit about cheese, Thorin asked, "And why did you, none of you," he glared at his nephews and Dwalin," mention she was here? It appears from the faces of others at the table they had not realized her presence either."
"Well, to be perfectly honest Thorin, I forgot she was here in all of the hubbub. The last I remember seeing her," he nodded at Sam, who gave him a grateful smile for his support and compliments," was when she helped Fili and Kili move one of Master Baggins' cabinets."
"Aye, that was the las' I saw o' 'er as well," Dwalin added," an' Balin's righ', Thorin. When I ga' here she was friendly an' respectful, na' a' all as rude as a la' o' humans are ta dwarves," Sam was frowning at this description, as though the idea of other humans treating the dwarves badly distressed her, which indeed it did, as she had ever been someone who disliked it when people were treated badly for being different. Given that she had only ever belonged among people who were different from her made it an even more troubling thought to her, because she was rather familiar with how cruel people could be when they wanted to be," She even allowed me ta eat wha' I now realize was 'er, an' Master Baggins, dinner with nothing bu' a please help yourself, for which I apologize," He nodded to the affected parties. "She was even so kind as ta give me an ale while I ate."
"I did that partially because I was worried you would choke, you were scarfing down the food so fast." Sam was smiling at the younger son of Fundin as she had his brother, a smile he returned, in his own way, his grin ended up being more of a lopsided smirk and partially hidden by his bushy beard, while the other dwarves chuckled at her comment, most deciding that they rather liked her and her wit.
Thorin scowled, he did not know how this woman had managed to charm two of his oldest friends, friends who were usually as skeptical of other races as he was, enough to garner their support for her to join their company, but he still had two others to question.
He looked to his nephews at the end of the table," And what do you two say about Miss Clen?"
"Please, just call me Sam. Calling me miss anything just doesn't suit me at all."
He ignored the woman's interjection, looking pointedly at his nephews, who fidgeted slightly under his gaze.
"We agree with Dwalin and Balin, Uncle." Fili looked at his uncle as Kili began to speak.
"Yes, she is very nice and helpful, Uncle. Sam doesn't act at all like most humans, and I can honestly say we both rather like her, and her sharp tongue." He gave the woman and his uncle a wide and sunny grin, which Sam returned, while Thorin's scowl only deepened. "Give her a chance, Uncle Thorin, having a human woman along can't be as bad of an idea as I know you think it is. What possible harm could her presence cause?"
Gandalf interjected here," You should listen to them Thorin. I would not support her inclusion if I did not think she would be helpful to you and your ultimate goal."
Bilbo spoke up for the first time in this entire conversation here," How can she help against a dragon?"
He was promptly ignored.
Thorin scowled as he thought. Balin and Dwalin supported the woman's inclusion in their company and, while he trusts their judgement, he does not understand why they were so willing and quick to support her, but he has never been known to be kind in his initial assessment of humans, and Balin did have a point. Having a human on their side when dealing with humans or elves, Mahal forbid, would ultimately help them. He doubted she would be of much use otherwise, but he didn't know that for sure. There was also the fact that his nephews liked her, as young and at times naive as they were, their judgement of a person's character is usually accurate. All this in mind he posed a question to his company for additional opinions.
"Does anyone have any other opinions to provide? Any objections to this woman joining our company?"
There was a general mumbling among the assembled dwarves, some whispering questions to those who had already spoken with the woman. He heard Gloin mumbling about whether or not she should be allowed to have a portion of the treasure, but anyone who risked their life for the mountain would get their due for it, regardless of race. He then heard Nori mumbling about why a human would want to help a bunch of dwarves, but Ori pointing out that Gandalf would not support someone who meant them harm shushed any questions on the subject. After a few minutes the mumbling died. Sam looked a little nervous, but Gandalf gave her a comforting smile, for he knew she had won them over already, though he wondered himself how she had managed it so easily, but the Valar had brought her to the Company for a reason, and he trusted them implicitly.
Thorin looked around, no one seemed to have a negative opinion to voice, he had not honestly expected that, but sighed in defeat, without good reason to reject the woman, other than the fact that she was human, he was stuck.
"Alright, the human and the hobbit are both coming along, if they sign the contract."
"Thank you." Sam looked pleased that she had managed to achieve her goal relatively easily. She was also pleased that her smart mouth and dry sense of humor had managed to help her do it. Take that, Mom!
"Wait, me?! Why in the world would I be coming along?" Bilbo looked entirely confused by how he had gotten dragged into this. "I am not a burglar! I have never stolen anything in my life!"
"Hobbits are incredibly light on their feet and can go completely unnoticed by most, if they choose." Gandalf revealed his reason for choosing the hobbit, and it made sense, surprisingly.
Ignoring the hobbit's outburst, Thorin said, " Give her the contract, then give it to the halfling."
Balin scribbled on the contract, then handed it to Sam. She promptly signed, without reading it, in a curling script (cursive) that Balin did not recognize, but could almost read. She noted that what Balin had scribbled was a change in the division of the treasure from fourteen shares to fifteen. She handed Bilbo the contract, and he proceeded to fuss over the laceration and incineration part, and Bofur's helpful commentary made him faint. Sam shook her head at Bofur and Bilbo as she helped Gandalf move Bilbo to his room.
/Trail the Fat/
Sam figured her first order of business, while Gandalf talked to Bilbo about his however many number of greats uncle and golf, she would introduce herself to the rest of the Company, as they would all be stuck with each other for the foreseeable future.
She was not sure where to start, but when she noticed Dori fussing at Nori, she decided she would start there, if only to save Nori's sanity, so she walked up to them and neither noticed her, so she spoke.
"Hello there, I'm Sam. Since I don't know any of you, or your names, I thought I would go around and introduce myself." She smiled at the slightly surprised brothers, who looked at each other, then at her.
Nori, straightened up from bending over to talk to the seated Dori, and introduced himself, giving her a calculating once over, as he was a thief, after all. "Well, 'ello there lass, Nori, middle son of Fitoria, at your service." He bowed and she bowed in return. "Some'ow you managed to ta do somethin' in a few hours that I have been trying ta do for years." He smiled crookedly at her, a grin the promised a heap of trouble and no small amount of smarts as she cocked her head to the side, slightly confused. Dori only rolled his eyes at his brother and huffed.
"And what would that be?"
"Gettin' on Dwalin's good side." She gave a low chuckle at that, cause she still couldn't believe that she had managed it herself. "I've known him for years, an' he still doesn't like me much, but I don't think I have ever seen him take ta someone as quickly as he's taken ta you. What's you secret? Unless it's something like womanly wiles, I'd like ta use it on 'im, so he'd stop watching me so close and I could get away with more."
At that Sam outright laughed, no one had ever accused her of using womanly wiles on anyone, and she would honestly prefer to keep it that way.
"Now that would be telling, Nori." Her own sly grin made him laugh. He found that while he didn't trust this woman, he did like her, mostly due to her smart mouth, and that was a step in the right direction in his book, but to truly earn Nori, she would have to prove herself as loyal to the company, and all it's members, and contribute to the quest's success, or their survival, as it were.
Dori had been sitting by, listening to their conversation and decided to intercede before the conversation became even more inappropriate.
"Now Nori, that was entirely too forward of a thing to say to a young woman, despite her apparent appreciation of off color humor." He gave her a scolding look, and she grinned sheepishly in return. "Besides, you could be on Dwalin's good side if you just stopped all of your thieving nonsense." Nori rolled his eyes dramatically for Sam's entertainment. "Mahal know's just how many times he's chased you in and around Ered Luin trying to catch you. With all the aggravation you've caused him over the years it is perfectly understandable that you are never on his good side. Oh, pardon me. I am Dori, oldest son of Fitoria, at your service." He stood and gave a bow, which Sam returned, as Nori mimicked his brother's facial expressions behind him, forcing her to stifle a giggle.
"Hello, Dori, it is a pleasure to meet you. I apologize if you found my commentary in poor taste, a girl gets used to talking like that if she wants to survive verbally unscathed when she constantly has to contend with her twin brother's, and mostly male cousin's, smart and, at times, dirty mouthes."
Dori's scolding expression softened at the mention of her family, predictable given his love of his own family, which usually manifests in mass amounts of fussing, while Nori's eyebrow rose. Twins were almost unheard of amongst dwarves, especially boy and girl twins like Sam claimed to be with her twin brother, and he knew twins were rare amongst humans because of the difficulties of bearing them. Interesting.
"Ah, now that would make sense. One girl contending with many boys is bound to develop a sharpened tongue to put them in their place. So you have a twin? That's a mite unusual isn't it? And, if you don't mind my asking, how many cousins do you have?"
"No, I don't mind at all. And, yes, I do have a twin brother. It is a bit rare, but twins run in my family. We are actually the third generation of twins; my aunt and uncle are twins and my maternal grandmother had cousins that were twins. And I have.." She looked up and started counting on her fingers so she didn't miss anyone, but all this talk of family was only serving to remind her of what Gandalf had said when she woke on the hill only a few hours ago, that she was never to return home, which meant she would never see her family again. "eleven cousins in total. Both of my parents were one of four children and all of their siblings have two kids, except one."
Now that had the two older sons of Fitoria staring at her, such a large family was unusual amongst dwarves. This was unusual for a variety of reasons, many dwarrows and dwarrowdams didn't get married because they were so in love with their crafts they could not possibly share their love with another person, it was also because there were so few dwarrowdams, who made up barely a third of the dwarven population, some of which never wanted to have children. There was also the problem of a high infant mortality rate among dwarves. To have so many children survive and have so many children of their own was a miracle by dwarven standards, many dwarrows were lucky if they had two children, let alone more. The sons of Fitoria were an oddity themselves, one woman with three sons, albeit by three different fathers. They were a bit awed by the fertility of humans.
At that moment Ori came up behind Sam, before she could ask his brothers why they were staring, and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around, and promptly had to look down. She would have to get used to that, a lifetime of looking up at her 6 ft 4' dad had trained her to look up, not down, but, as she was taller than all of the dwarves, that wasn't gonna work anymore.
"Hello, Sam. As my brothers have already introduced themselves to you, I thought I would as well. Ori, youngest son of Fitoria, at your service." The younger, shyer dwarf blushed as he bowed to her, and she promptly bowed to him. "I wanted to apologize for being so rude when we were all talking. If I had known you were there I would have said something else." Dori beamed at his polite, proper little brother as Nori face palmed, Dori had ruined him.
"Oh, that's fine Ori. I don't mind at all, no need to apologize." Ori nodded at her, she seemed nice enough. She smiled a kind smile at him that he returned, and had a feeling that they would be good friends. Unlike Nori, Ori thought they could trust her and would give her the benefit of a doubt. Dori also liked her, but he was more of Nori's thinking, this young woman would need to prove herself in order for him to truly trust her, though he would not deter her from trying to make friends among the dwarves.
Nori then promptly poked Dori in the chest, and started fussing at Dori about how he had ruined Ori with this and that, and then he launched into a well practiced tirade, obviously the result of an oft repeated argument, about how Dori was too overbearing with Ori and he needed to let him be more independent, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah. Ori's exasperated expression matched her mental impression of the two older Ri's at the moment, so while he gave her an apologetic smile and attempted damage control with his brothers, Sam slipped away.
Th next dwarf she had yet to meet that she spotted was Bifur. He was sitting on a bench, staring into space, oblivious to his surroundings. Sam knew that most people would be put off by the dwarf, with the axe in his head and slightly erratic behavior, but she knew better than that. Her mom had worked with mentally and physically challenged kids all of her life, one of her own cousins was a high functioning autistic, so he didn't put her off at all. Besides, the area of his injury meant that it probably affected mostly his ability to communicate, and, given the staring, his concentration or attention span, but mostly his communication, specifically language creation, because, if dwarven brains were anything like human brains, then the area of Bifur's brain that is at least partially damaged, in humans, is called Broca's area, which controls language creation, and would explain why he was only speaking in Khuzdul and Iglishmek. Sam thanked God she had taken AP Pysch in highschool, or else she wouldn't have known that.
So Sam went and crouched in front of Bifur, so he wouldn't need to look up at her, and she hoped she wouldn't startle him, and waited for him to come back to himself. She noticed Bombur and Bofur watching her from the corner of her eye, and couldn't blame them for being a little worried about her talking to their cousin, but she would show them that they had nothing to worry about from her, she wasn't about to shun or be cruel to Bifur just because he was hurt.
So Sam waited, and she could see awareness slowly coming back into Bifur's eyes.
He blinked, and looked up to find himself looking at Sam, he was surprised to see the human woman who had just become one of their companions crouched in front of him with a gentle smile on her face. Bifur rarely interacted with humans without one of his cousins present because he couldn't speak the common tongue, he hadn't been able to speak it in a long time, not since one lucky bastard was able to smack him in the head with an axe in a raid of an orc den. Before he could call one of his cousins over to translate for him, she stuck out her hand.
"Hello, Bifur? That's your name isn't it? I thought I overheard someone, the guy in the floppy hat I think, call you that." Bifur chuckled at that, while Bofur, behind Sam, stuck out his tongue at the unlikely pair from where he, and a quietly chuckling Bombur, were eavesdropping," So I thought I would come over and introduce myself. I'm Sam, as I am sure you already know from the after dinner show I helped put on earlier." He smiled kindly at the girl, trying to communicate his appreciation of her humor, and the fact that she was treating him like anyone else, something even a lot of dwarves, let alone humans, didn't do, without talking, since she wouldn't understand a word he said or signed, nor would she ever be allowed to gain an understanding, because dwarves guarded their secret languages very closely.
Sam continued talking, happy to see she had gotten a smile out of Bifur," And I hope we can become friends over the course of our journey."
Bifur thumped himself in the chest with a closed fist, saying,"Bifur" and a slew of Khuzdul she couldn't hope to comprehend, cue Bofur and Bombur coming to the rescue, as she watched the two approach from the corner of her eye.
"He said you're righ' about 'im bein' Bifur, and 'e hopes you can become friends over the course of our journey as well. I'm Bofur, by the way, y'know, the guy in the floppy hat?" Sam gave him a cheeky grin and a bow as she introduced herself to him and his little brother.
"Sam, at your service, Bofur of the floppy hat." All three Broadbeams laughed at that, enjoying her cheek. While Bofur enjoyed a good laugh, he was still curious about this young woman, but he wasn't going to agonize over her sudden appearance, nor Gandalf's mysterious support of her joining in their quest, only keep an eye on her. Her apparent ease with his cousin, and her ability to charm the dwarves in general, made him inclined to believe that his keeping on eye on her would only make him like her more.
Bombur introduced himself next," Bombur, at your service." The rotund dwarf bowed slightly to the young woman as she gave him a bow as well. He had noticed how she was trying to be very polite, while still being friendly. She was evidently trying to get in their good graces, given Thorin's obvious dislike of her, he could understand why she would think she would need to. So far, Bombur likes this young woman, especially since she wasn't scared of Bifur and wasn't treating him badly, that alone went a long way to put her in his and Bofur's good graces, because they were as fiercely protective of him as he was of them. Bombur knew some of the other dwarves were suspicious of her, just by some of the looks that had been sent her way earlier, which he could understand given her sudden appearance, but he thought she would come to earn their trust in time, and surprise them along the way.
"So lass, where are ye-"
"Young lady, might my brother and I have a word with you?"
Bofur was cut off from asking Sam some questions by Gloin's call from across the room, where he and Oin were still seated at Bilbo's table. Sam looked at Bofur apologetically as she walked over to the two dwarves, besides Thorin, that she had yet to meet. Bofur looked a little put out by their conversation being cut short, but Bifur reminded him, with some murmured Khuzdul, that there would be plenty of time for questions in the coming days.
Bombur, on the other hand, wondered aloud," I wonder if she knows how to cook?" At this, Bifur and Bofur looked at each other in exasperation at Bombur's, at times, one track mind, then rolled their eyes dramatically away from each other, as they broke out in chuckles; Bombur sighed at their antics.
/Leave the Bones on the Bedroom Mat/
Gloin and Oin watched as the young woman approached them after they had called her over. She did not appear to act like the many humans they had met on their travels, who believed that dwarves were below them and that they had every right to try and cheat them, to demean them as they saw fit. Oin was actually rather impressed by the way she had approached Bifur on her own, few could see at first glance how kind the dwarf actually was; despite how fierce he was in battle, Bifur was a gentle soul, much like the rest of his family, who had an intense love of children, which was why he, and Bofur, were toymakers when they weren't mining.
Gloin was decidedly less impressed, he did not trust this girl, not one bit. He did not trust Gandalf and his meddling, he did not trust the fact that she seemed to like dwarves, and he did not trust that she did not have ulterior motives for aiding them, he believed she would cause them harm or prevent them from accomplishing their goal, but he had no proof of this, so he would just have to watch her very closely to get it. He also didn't like her manners, women should curtsy, not bow, she acted entirely too masculine for him to approve; in his experience, human women who acted like that were involved in bad business, and acted that way to protect themselves from their unsavory business partners.
"Hello, Masters Dwarf. I am Sam, and it is a pleasure to meet you." Once again she bowed, and she was glad she would only need to bow once more in personal introduction, and that would be to Thorin. "Now, what can I do for you?" She looked between the brothers, and found herself growing uneasy under Gloin's distrustful stare, while Oin looked a little more friendly, giving her a skeptical once over, she started to regret being called away from the friendly Broadbeams, even if Bofur was about to ask a question she wasn't sure how she would answer.
"Hello Sam. I am Oin-"
"and I am Gloin-"
"sons of Groin, at your service." As Oin finished they both gave her slight bows from their seats, then the brothers took on more serious expressions.
Gloin was the first to speak," Now, lass, as you are now a member of the company, we have some questions for you. My first question is this, how good of a fighter are you?"
She should have seen that question coming a mile away.
"Well...truth be told, Master Gloin, I'm not a fighter at all. I have never been trained and never seen battle, mostly because, where I grew up, there wasn't a need for it, and my parents didn't see the point in exposing me to it if there wasn't an immediate need." Gloin scowled, he had not anticipated her have absolutely no experience fighting, or with weapons, which could prove to make her a burden indeed to their quest. "I do, however, have many weapons in my pack that I am more than willing to learn to use if someone if willing to teach me."
Gloin grunted at that, pleased that they would not also have to provide her with weapons and that she was a willing, if utterly unexperienced, student. He also couldn't help but wonder what kind of warrior she would be, people from peaceful places seldom took to fighting as those who had grown up with it did. He seriously doubted that the girl would be a powerful or skilled fighter, no matter how much or quality training she received, though he hoped she would be decent enough that they would not need to worry about her in a fight, or risk her getting underfoot.
"And what weapons would you have lass?"
"I have a bow and quiver, two curved swords, and a variety of what look like throwing knives and daggers."
Gloin was even more pleased to hear that she had a variety of weapons they could teach her to use, and that they had people in the company who were experts in some of those weapons, except the curved swords, he did not know how they would teach her to use those, but Fili and Dwalin were both excellent dual wielders, so they would have to work off of that. Gloin figured they could leave the bow training to Kili, since he was the most adept with the weapon, throwing knives would go to Fili, and daggers would be Nori's responsibility. He didn't particularly like the idea of having the young Durin's working so closely with Sam, but little could be done about, after all, they would be traveling across Middle Earth together, it was not as if he could keep them from associating all the time.
"That is good, lass, now I believe I will go speak to Dwalin about how we will go about training you on the road." He was sure Dwalin had not counted on having to train her from the ground up when he advocated for her inclusion in their company. Served his cousin right, putting so much stock in someone he had only just met.
As Sam and Oin watched Gloin amble away, Sam getting the distinct impression he didn't like her or her answers to his questions, Oin turned to Sam to pose his own questions, his earhorn angled towards her.
"Alright then, now, I am the healer for the company and I would like you to tell me about any allergies, problematic past injuries, or conditions you might have that could cause you trouble on this journey. I want to be prepared for any possible problems that might arise on this journey, and I would like to get the necessary supplies in the next few weeks, while we are still near inhabited parts of Middle Earth."
Sam had not quite expected that, but she figured such questions were prudent for long journeys into the wilds of the world.
"Well, um, I have no long standing injuries that could prove an issue." Oin nodded at that, though he hadn't really expected her to have any, given she appeared hale and healthy, if plump, in his opinion.
She continued, apparently thinking out loud, as her eyes were looking up, a pensive expression on her face," I don't believe my metal allergy will pose any issues given that the armor I have is light armor, mostly leather, with little bits of metal for reinforcement." Oin raised an eyebrow at the statement, he had never heard of someone having a metal allergy before. Interesting.
"The only thing I can really think of that might cause issues is that, when I was younger, I would have episodes where I wouldn't be able to breathe because something I inhaled, usually smoke, triggered a spasm is the muscles of my diaphragm and throat. I haven't had an episode in a few years, but the healers always told me to be careful, because just because I hadn't had one in a few years didn't mean I would never have one again."
Oin had heard of such a condition amongst humans before, so he knew what he would need to treat her if she had one on the road, though he hoped he wouldn't need to deal with it as the fact that she had not had an episode in years meant she was much more likely to not have another, but he would have to warn the others about smoking near, or upwind, of her because he didn't want their habits to possibly trigger an episode.
Oin nodded at Sam, "Thank you for being honest about your condition, many people would have chosen to keep it a secret to keep from seeming weak in the eyes of those they do not know, or who not necessarily trust them." They both knew he was referring to Thorin, and probably Gloin.
"No problem, Master Oin. My mother always taught me it's best to be honest when it comes to things that could cost you your life if other people are left unawares or unprepared. I've no intention of hiding anything from you, both because it doesn't make me weak, it's simply a fact of being me, and because I hope showing that I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of will lend me credibility in the eyes of those who doubt me, not to mention giving trust is the first step in gaining trust."
Oin was surprised by her answer, he did not expect one so young to think that way, and that way of thinking would probably make it easier for the more skeptical members of the Company to come to trust her. He was also pleased that she listened to her mother's sense, and wondered why her mother thought that way, but figured he had bothered her enough for now, best give the girl some peace since this was the last night they would have the comforts of a home for a while. He motioned that he was done with his question,s and with a nod of her head, she went off, presumably to talk to others of the Company.
/Spill the Milk on the Pantry Floor/
As Balin and Thorin had their discussion about the Company and Thorin's reasoning for the journey, they both observed how Sam flitted from group to group, introducing herself. Thorin did not know what to make of her. She didn't fit his preconceived notion of what a human woman would act like. The brothers Ri and the Broadbeams all reacted positively to her introductions, if their smiles and chuckles were anything to go by. Gloin was the only one who didn't seem charmed, if the way he was grumbling as he stalked over to Dwalin was any indication. And Dwalin looked slightly annoyed when Gloin started talking to him, so Thorin wondered what that was about, but knew he would find out later. He watched as she walked away from Oin only to look at him and Balin, a considering look on her face.
Balin noticed Sam looking at them as well, and figured he should allow her to introduce herself to Thorin, so he nodded at Thorin and walked off to find out what Dwalin and Gloin were now discussing in earnest.
Sam took Balin's exit as her cue, needless to say she was not looking forward to talking to Thorin, but avoiding him would only make the inevitable conversation more awkward than it needed to be.
"Hello, Master Oakenshield. As you already know, I am Sam Clen. I just thought I would introduce myself to you since we are going to be traveling together."
Thorin, face to face and alone with her for the first time, studied her. He looked her carefully up and down, watching her fidget slightly under his scrutiny, then walked around her, taking note of the way she was dressed, the way she held herself, and how she moved. He found himself unimpressed, though he had expected that. She was shorter and broader than most women, by human standards, she was also plump, and had no calluses from hard work on her hands, though she did have one on her left middle finger, indicating that she often held a quill and that she was left handed. She bore no visible scars nor signs of hardship, her mannerisms also, to him, revealed she had led an easy life, likely the child of well off parents who impressed the importance of manners, though, apparently, not ladylike mannerisms, and being charming on her, skills she had put to good use, though he could not know that Sam's charming mannerisms were in fact her attempts at imitating her much more sociable twin's behaviors, going against her actually more introverted and quiet nature.
Thorin doubted very much that she would do well on this journey, given her lack of exposure to physical exertion and strain, and her lack of knowledge about the challenges and dangers they were likely to face, but, he did concede, maybe another perspective would be helpful at times. Thorin was also under the impression that she was not a fighter and would need to be trained, he just hoped she had some experience riding a horse, or else their journey would be very difficult for her indeed.
"Miss Clen, make no mistake, I am no fan of the idea of you coming along on our quest, and I am sorely tempted to negate my decision to allow you along already, but, I trust Balin and Dwalin's judgment, and that is the only thing staying my hand. If you give me any reason, and I mean any, to believe your presence on our journey will cause harm to come to any one of my companions or keep us from our goal, you will be dealt with swiftly." This ultimatum was accompanied by a fierce glare. San nodded mutely, eyes wide, entirely unprepared for the animosity in his tone, very reminiscent of her mother when she was well and truly pissed off. He left her standing there as he walked into the sitting room to commence the multi-part harmony performance of the other iconic song from the movies.
As Sam stared at his back as he walked away, and couldn't help but think: What have I gotten myself into?
Ok, so that's all for the first chapter. Don't expect regular updates until the beginning of April, but I will try to give a few before then. Poke me if you feel I am taking too long, just don't harass me.
Toodles! :)