A/N: JE owns these characters; I am a friggin nut who likes to play a bit with them. Also credit needs to go the late L. Frank Baum for his characters from The Wizard of Oz. There is a place in Beech, NC called Land of Oz; I have changed it using poetic license to fit it in with this story.
.
Thanks to Jenny for her wonderful beta skills.
Follow The Yellow Brick Road- by Denny
My life was a cesspool, constantly attracting the scum of the earth. It seemed that somewhere attached to me was a sign reading: Stephanie Plum, Psycho Magnet. I've had more stalkers than most women have had a new pair of shoes. Nevertheless, working as a BEA gave me an adrenaline rush that my body craved.
I was at the bonds office when my archenemy, Joyce Barnhardt, came in. She was throwing evil glances at Lula. Joyce looks down at Lula because of her former occupation.
Lula is a former ho, now sometime bounty hunter. As always, she packs her impressive girth into a petite size. I didn't know spandex could stretch that much! Lula is one full-sized woman.
Joyce pursed her lips and let out a verbal salvo. "I guess they let the elephants out of the zoo."
"Lula, don't mind her. She's still upset because somebody dropped a house on her sister."
Joyce had no reply for that.
"Hey skinny white girl, that's good. We have the Wizard and the Wicked Witch. Are you Dorothy?"
"Sure, there's no place like home. And look, I even have red shoes on."
If you looked down at my feet, I was wearing red Converse sneakers. I wiggled my feet to show off my shoes.
"Are you calling me a witch? Why I never!" Joyce replied, finally thinking of what she thought was a good comeback.
"Yeah, you were never anything but a skank." Lula guffawed.
At that moment, my neck started to tingle. My very own Ranger alert. A moment later, I felt a large, warm hand on my neck.
"Ladies. Babe, can you step outside for a minute? Excuse us."
He moved his hand to the small of my back and guided us out of the office. Our next stop was the alley.
"I need you."
"For a distraction?"
"No, for something else. Absolutely no else is to know about it. Not. A. Soul."