This story has been in my head from a year and a half, which is pretty much the last time I had ANYTHING to do with Twilight without hugely taking the piss. I came up with the idea after realizing that Edward was exactly like my controlling ex-boyfriend. This story was also written on sleep deprivation and NaNoWriMo word counting so it's a bit crazed. It's hugely OOC as I don't think Jacob is actually capable of this much complex thought (and he always has a shirt on). Never ever written for Twilight before (and didn't have a lot to work with) so I hope you all enjoy it.
Being in love sucks. Actually scratch that being in love is great, being in love with a person who loves you back is amazing – it's the best thing in the world. However, being in love with someone who is in love with someone else sucks. For me it is my best friend Bella. I love her more than anything and I would do anything to make her happy. The problem is she has a boyfriend and I know what you're thinking; Jacob, it's not your job to make her happy – that's her boyfriend's job. Yeah but see that's the thing, he doesn't make her happy – not really. I mean she's never outwardly said that the perfect Edward Cullen doesn't make her happy but I know he doesn't, I can just tell.
It's little things like; he'll be all loving and attentive one minute then leave for an entire weekend without telling her where he's going or who he's going with and expect her to just drop any plans she had made when he comes back and wants to see her. He doesn't like her seeing any of her other friends aside from him and his family, I mean he never particularly liked me (probably because he knew how I felt about her) and he said he didn't want her seeing me. She wasn't particularly happy about it but she agreed to keep the peace but then it began to spread. First to her friend Mike (who also had a bit of a thing for her) and then to Angela and Jessica too. I can understand me and Mike (because in his mind we're a threat) but why stop her from seeing the girls?
Maybe I'm biased when I say this because I'm in love with her but he's not a good guy and she deserves much better. I'm not saying she deserves me or anything but I'd be much better for her than he would, hell anyone would be better for her than he would. Everyone thinks so; her friends, her dad, my dad – my dad says he wouldn't trust the Cullen family with a ten foot pole never mind with someone like Bella, I tried to ask him why once but he just brushed me off saying that it wasn't for me to know. But there's nothing I can do really – there's nothing I can do to change Bella's mind about him.
I've always said that as long as Bella is happy then I'll not do anything to upset her happiness and until she openly admits that she's unhappy with the stupid quiff haired idiot then there is nothing I can do. There's nothing I would do because I sure as hell don't want to be the one upsetting her. She won't hear a word said against him (and I know this because Jessica told me – I'm not stupid enough to try and talk to her about him, that would just lead to problems) and he's got this hold over her that only she can break.
So for now I have to make do with occasionally seeing her when I think I can get away with it (hey I'm not going to stop seeing her just because he says he doesn't want us to hang out) and if she ever gives me even the slightest inclination that she's unhappy then I'll be round like a shot to bring her back to her senses and comfort her when she needs it. I'll always be there to help her, it's just a shame she'll always belong to someone else…
I heard a pebble tap against my window bringing me out of my usual nightly pinning over the girl I love that I can never have (not that that's all I do it just seems to take up the vast majority of my time when my thoughts turn to her). I turned to stare in confusion at the window, sure that it was just the wind blowing a tree branch against the glass when I actually saw a second small pebble hit the pane. I throw the magazine I had been flicking through to the floor and make my way over to the window, treading carefully so as not to wake my dad. I didn't know what time it was but judging by the dark sky outside, it was probably around one in the morning.
I pushed the window up and open just after the third pebble hit it and stuck my head out. Looking down I saw Bella holding a handful of small pebbles and shivering in the cold, her hair whipping against her face in the wind. She pushed it out of her face and smiled softly when she saw me. I continued to stare in confusion for a full minute before I noticed her beaten up old truck a few feet away from where she was standing. Why had she driven all the way out here in the middle of the night?
"Bella?" I called softly, leaning further out of the window. "What are you doing here?"
"I needed to see you." she replied, her quiet voice almost getting lost on the wind, after a short hesitation. "Can I come in?"
"Sure, sure." I replied. I was pretty sure that I still looked surprised as hell at the fact that she had turned up at my house out of the blue in the middle of the night but she was here so I wasn't going to leave her standing in the cold. I left the window and slid it closed again, my head spinning. She said she needed to see me and, even though it may not be because of the reasons my mind came up with (like she had finally seen sense and dumped Edward once and for all), any port in a storm and all that.
I picked up a shirt off the floor, giving it a quick sniff before putting it on and quietly making my way down the stairs to the door. When I opened it she was standing with her back to me, her gaze towards her car and her arms folded across her chest for warmth, but she turned when she heard the door. She gave me a shy smile, keeping her arms across her chest protectively and not making any move to come in even though I could tell she was freezing – she was only wearing a thin jersey after all.
"Hey." she said softly.
"Hi." I said trying to sound happy to see her but it just came out as a surprised exhale, I was too shocked to do anything else. I continued to stare until I realised that she wasn't going to say anything else. "Um, do you want to come in?"
"Ok." she murmured as if actually coming inside out of the freezing cold was the last thing she was thinking about. I stepped back from the door and she stepped inside.
"My dad's asleep; we won't be overheard in my room." I whispered as I gestured up the stairs to my bedroom.
"Ok." she nodded and silently made her way up the stairs with me following behind her. When we reached my bedroom I hurried in before her and shoved the clutter off my bed so she could sit down (I didn't want her to take too close a look at some of the magazines on my bed). She perched on the edge, as if she felt like she shouldn't be here and, in her mind, she probably shouldn't be – she knew that Edward didn't like her spending time alone with me (if at all) and that he'd have a fit if he knew she was alone with me in my bedroom. I waited for her to say something but she just continued to sit there, looking at her hands as she pulled the sleeves of her jersey down to cover them.
"So," I began a little shakily. "what brings you all the way out here at," I cast a quick glance at the clock. "half past one in the morning?"
"I had a fight with Edward." she said quietly. I looked at her, waiting for her to continue but I very quickly realised that that was all she was going to say so I would have to be the one to steer the conversation.
"What about?" I asked not taking my eyes off her and her not taking her eyes off her hands. I was going to drag these answers out of her if I had to (and by the looks of this I was going to have to). She had come to me so I was going to make her talk.
"It was a stupid fight." she stated. "Jessica invited me and Angela over to hers for a girl's night in and I was getting ready to go but when he came over and saw me packing he flipped out. He said that I had forgotten that we were supposed to spend the evening together, I said I hadn't – which was only half true, I had sort of forgotten – but I never get to see the girls anymore so I wanted to go spend the night with them and that I could go over to his tomorrow and spend the whole day with him. Then he got really angry…" she tailed off. I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier as she spoke; he was always doing this to her, isolating her from everyone she knew. My fist and my jaw both clenched and I swear to god if she was about to tell me that he'd hurt her in any way then I would go over to his house and beat the living crap out of him for it.
"What did he do?" I managed to get out, my voice coming out as a growl. At the tone of my voice she immediately looked up, her eyes wide with worry.
"Nothing like that." she explained hurriedly. "He just shouted a lot and I don't know what made me do it – maybe I was just sick of taking all the crap that he's been piling on me for so long – but I started shouting back. We then ended up going round and round in circles getting angrier and angrier with each other until I finally just walked out." My heart leapt at that, did that mean she had finally left him for good?
"Did you…?" I began I don't know where I was going with that question but she came to her own conclusion and shook her head.
"No I told him I needed some time to calm down and that I'd call him once I had." she stated. "He then started crying, saying how much he loved me and that I was his world and that he didn't want to lose me. I told him he wouldn't; I just needed a little time to calm down because he'd pissed me off so much. He seemed to accept that more and let me go, he said that he would come over tomorrow and we could talk things over, meaning he'll talk and I'll listen or something like that." she finished a little sadly before sighing. "So he went home and I just sort of stood there outside my house in the middle of the night."
"Then what happened?" I asked, my mouth suddenly dry. "When he let you go, how did you end up deciding to come over here?"
"Well I didn't know what to do after he left so I did the only thing that made sense at that point; I got in the car and I drove for miles and miles and eventually I wound up here, at your door." she replied. She looked up at me with those dark brown eyes of hers and bit her bottom lip softly and it took all the restraint in me not to lean over and kiss her but I knew I couldn't, I knew I shouldn't. If I did I would be taking advantage of the fact that she was vulnerable after a fight with her boyfriend but, god I wanted to.
"Why?" I managed to stutter out eventually. She shrugged and pushed an out of place lock of hair behind her ear.
"I guess cause I needed to talk to someone and I knew that I'd be able to talk to you; you'd listen, you wouldn't judge me or get on my case about it all and if Edward found out that I came to see you right after we had an argument then he'd hit the roof." she stated, a strange smile playing on her lips as she finished.
"Seems as good a reason as any." I joked, laughing hollowly. She laughed softly but it was a laugh without any humour.
"I don't know what to do." she murmured after a pause. My immediate thought was to say 'break up with him' but I couldn't. It wouldn't be fair to her and I had always said that as long as she was happy then I wouldn't interfere but she clearly wasn't happy. So maybe it was time for me to interfere. I had no idea what to say so I decided not to think and leaned forward capturing her lips with mine. It was a quick, soft and chaste kiss and when I pulled away she was staring at me wide eyed and a little tearful.
"Bella…" I began softly but before I could say anything else to explain myself she jumped to her feet.
"I have to go." she stated and ran out of the house before I could stop her.
I didn't hear from Bella for another week after that. I knew it was my fault – I shouldn't have kissed her that night when she came over after arguing with Edward but my hormones decided that they were going to get in the way. It was stupid and had probably ruined our friendship but I wasn't exactly thinking clearly when I did it and now she wouldn't talk to me because of it. I wanted to go over to her house to try and fix the mess I'd made but I knew that there was a high likelihood of me running into Edward and that would just complicate things, especially if Bella had told him that I kissed her.
Would she have told him? I don't think she would have; she had a hard enough time getting him to be happy with me there when my dad and I came over to watch football with Charlie (which he never really was) and if he found that out he'd probably be on my doorstep to kick my ass faster than I could blink. Not that he could actually kick my ass, I'm a lot bigger and a lot broader than he is so it wouldn't exactly be a hard fight.
I also thought about hanging around her school to see if I could catch her there and try to talk to her but, again, I may run into Edward (seriously, it's like the two are never away from each other, he won't leave her alone) and I might also look like a creepy stalker if I just stand there waiting for her to talk to me every day for however long it took. No this time I decided that I would just leave well alone and wait for her to call me, even though I had a sinking suspicion that that would never happen as I knew that I had well and truly screwed things up.
That is until I got the phone call.
I was lying in bed after spending an evening out with my friends by the beach; we had been planning to camp there all night but it had started raining and Sam said there was supposed to be a storm coming in so we decided to call it a night. I was just falling asleep (as I really had nothing better to do that evening) when the phone rang; it was Charlie. He told me that Bella and Edward were arguing again – throwing in that this was the third time this week that Edward had come over and the two of them had ended up fighting – and that Edward was being difficult and wouldn't leave even though he had heard Bella ask him to numerous times.
I don't know why he called me, it wasn't like there was anything I could actually do but as soon as he put the phone down I was out of the house and on my bike speeding down the road to Bella's house without a second thought. The rain pelted me and every single corner made me feel as if I was going to come off my bike at any second but I didn't care – all I could think about was getting to Bella. I wanted to make sure that she was ok and help her throw him out if she wanted me to.
Finally I came to a screeching halt outside Bella's house. A part of me thought about just bursting in there and throwing Edward out on his ass but if I knew the hold he had over Bella then it would only result in me getting into a fight with her, which I didn't want right now considering I was on thin enough ice as it was. I sat on my bike looking up at Bella's window. The light was on and I could see two shadows moving around, both gesturing wildly – clearly they were still in the throes of their argument and they either hadn't heard Charlie on the phone or they were so wrapped up in shouting at each other that had and didn't care in the slightest.
I was about to dismount and go inside when my phone rang. I flipped it out of my pocket and answered it; it was Charlie again.
"Hello?"
"Jacob?" he asked. He almost sounded unsure of who he was talking to when he was the one who had called me. "Where are you?"
"I'm outside your house." I replied. "I came to help." I added a little lamely.
"I guessed you were." Charlie stated gruffly. "I called your dad almost as soon as I hung up; listen I shouldn't have called you Jake, it wasn't fair to put you on the spot like that and there isn't really anything you can do."
"Is he still here?" I asked only half listening to what he had said.
"What Edward?" Charlie asked. "Yeah he's still here." he added, not waiting for me to respond.
"Are they still fighting?" I asked feeling that same anger I had when Bella had come to my house bubbling up inside me. My fist clenched as did my jaw and I could feel myself shaking but it had nothing to do with the rain chilling me through the flimsy t-shirt I was wearing.
"I don't know." Charlie told me, sighing. I can't hear them shouting anymore so I don't think so. I think they're just talking now, whether that's actual talking or angry talking I don't really know."
"Do you want me to get rid of him?" I asked. I knew Charlie hated Edward – no father would want their daughter to be with a guy like that – but he couldn't say anything unless he wanted to completely alienate Bella and drive her closer to Edward. That seemed to be the problem that almost everyone found when Edward was concerned; they couldn't say anything to Bella because she would automatically side with him and wouldn't take the word of whoever was trying to convince her that he wasn't a bad guy.
"No I don't think that would be a very good idea." Charlie stated. "You know how Bella gets when he's involved, wouldn't be the best idea to upset her when it sounds like they've finally calmed down."
"Ok." I murmured hanging my head a little, the rain plastering my hair to my face as I stared at the ground.
"I'm sorry, Jake." Charlie muttered. "I'm sorry I dragged you all the way out here in the rain and everything as well."
"Hey don't worry about it." I said trying to make my voice sound cheerful. "I wasn't doing anything and it's kind of nice riding in the rain. As long as Bella's ok then it's all good." I heard Charlie sigh.
"You're a good kid Jake," he told me. "it's a shame that Bella couldn't have chosen a nice guy like you instead of him, maybe she'd be…" he tailed off and I silently begged him not to finish that sentence. Just knowing that people thought Bella would be happier with me than with Edward made me want to give up on my 'if she's happy with him then I won't do anything' philosophy.
"Yeah." I muttered after a moment's pause. "Listen Charlie I should probably go."
"Yeah," he agreed, trying to sound brighter. "if Bella catches you out there there'll probably be hell to pay." He paused for a moment. "Still coming over for the game on Sunday?"
"You know it." I replied grinning. I loved going round to Charlie and Bella's with my dad to watch football partially because it gave me an excuse to spend even a little a bit of time with Bella. "I'll see you Sunday." I told him before we said our goodbyes and hung up the phone.
I put my phone back in my pocket and was about to kick my bike into gear and head back to mine when a figure suddenly appeared at the window. I couldn't see their face at first glance and I began to panic thinking it was Edward and he would then give Bella a hard time because he had seen me standing outside. The last thing I wanted to do was cause her any more problems than I already might have done. Then I took a closer look and I realised, as the light fell on them a little better, that I realised it was Bella. That didn't make me feel any better; we hadn't spoken since I had kissed her and now here I was turning up at her house while she was with her boyfriend, looking like the world's biggest stalker. She would probably end up even more pissed off with me than she already was.
Unable to take my eyes off her, or move, I just continued to stare up at her. She looked down at me, locked eyes with mine and gave me a small smile, a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. It was a broken smile. I smiled back up at her, not daring to move or look away in case this was one of the last times I got to see her without that emotional leech of a boyfriend (I wouldn't put it passed him to monopolise her Sunday or turn up to football with her so the two of us wouldn't be alone together).
I saw her lips move and she seemed to be saying something to me. I took a closer look and I saw that she was mouthing 'sorry' at me. I mouthed back 'it's ok' knowing that she'd get the message. I didn't mind coming all the way out here if it meant that I got to see her for even a second – I would stand out on this corner in the pouring rain every day if it mean that I got to see her for even a couple of seconds. And it really is only a couple of seconds before she turned back inside the room and is gone.
I sigh heavily. Now it was time to leave, especially because Edward may now turn up at the window and see me, then he would take it out on her all over again. I kicked my bike into gear and sped off back into the night, wishing that there was more that I could do to help her but until she wanted it there was nothing I could do. She would have to come to that conclusion all on her own.
I didn't get much of a chance to talk to Bella that Sunday when I went over to watch the football. Just as I had suspected Edward had turned up twenty minutes after my dad and I showed up (it was almost as if he had known that was when I would be coming over, like a sixth sense) and announced that he was taking Bella out for the afternoon. I don't think Charlie was too happy about it and I was practically fuming but there was nothing either of us could do about it. When she left Bella did give me that same broken smile that she had given me the other night when I was outside her window.
In a strange and slightly creepy attempt to see and maybe talk to her I had actually gone full circle stalker and started hanging around outside her school. I knew how I must have looked – like some kind of love sick stalking puppy dog – and I also knew that this was how she had first had any contact with Edward, him following her around trying to get her to talk to him (even though she would have done if he had just gone up and spoken to her like a normal person). I tried to rationalise to myself that this was different because I just wanted the chance to see my friend again but even I knew that was partially a lie.
One afternoon in particular I was hanging around outside when I saw her and Jessica walking out of school together. They seemed to be deep in conversation and, judging by the way Bella was holding her books protectively to her chest, I knew that it was about Edward. I wanted to get close enough to hear what Jessica was saying but I didn't want them to see me as I knew that if she knew I was there Bella would clam up even more than she already looked like she was.
"All I'm saying, Bella, is I don't understand why you're still with him – he doesn't treat you particularly well, he doesn't like you hanging out with anyone outside your own family or outside his family and, ok sure he's quite hot, but he's nothing massively special. I mean there are hotter guys at the school, his brother Jackson for one." I heard Jessica say as they stopped just in front of the trees I was pretending not to be hiding in. I could see Bella clenching but she didn't look angry, she looked defensive.
"It's more than just than if he's hot or not Jess." she stated. "It's about love and being connected and being soul mates and everything like that."
"Soul mates?" Jessica asked incredulously. "Really? Jeeze Bella I never would have pegged you for the kind of one and only 'we can never be apart for the rest of our lives' together for all eternity kind of girl."
"But what if we will be?" Bella asked a little huffily.
"Together for all eternity?" Jess countered with her own question, not quite grasping what Bella was asking.
"Yeah," she replied. "why couldn't we be together for all eternity?"
"Because he's a psycho!" Jessica exclaimed. "Bella he goes mental when you tell him you want to spend a night out with the girls, he hardly ever lets you out of his sight. Hell he climbed in through your window and watched you sleep before you had even had a conversation with him. Also when was the last time you spoke to that guy who's dad is friends with your dad? The guy with the bazillion abb muscles, is it Jack?"
"Jake." Bella corrected.
"Yeah him," Jessica continued. "When was the last time you spoke to or even saw him?"
"I saw him last Sunday when he came over to watch the football." Bella mumbled in timid defence.
"And I'll bet that Edward was there most, if not all of the time, and he didn't let you say two words to Jake or he took you out all together so you couldn't talk to him." Jessica stated getting the turn of events exactly right.
"That isn't exactly how it went." Bella lied. "We had planned to go out on Sunday – I don't really like watching the football as I never know what's going on." That certainly was true but the first part was a huge lie.
"Also haven't you known Jake since you were little or something like that?" Jessica asked.
"Well our dads have been friends for years so we have known each other a long time but we sort of lost touch when I went to Arizona." Bella explained.
"So why aren't you two hanging out all the time?" Jessica asked in mild disbelief. "Why are you freezing him out because Edward says so?"
"It's complicated." Bella mumbled. Jessica shook her head.
"Well you don't want to completely freeze him out in case things go badly with Edward and you've got no Jacob to pick up the pieces." she stated. "Oh god, don't look now but here comes your jailor."
"What?" Bella asked turning in the direction Jessica was pointing. I looked over in that direction too and, sure enough, there was Edward leaving the school and looking around presumably for Bella.
"Speak of the devil and he shall arrive." Jessica stated dryly before turning to Bella, who had suddenly gone very pale. "I'm going to head home before he sees us together and starts to freak out because now we're both lesbians together or whatever crap his crazy ass little mind comes us with. Will you call me tonight?"
"Sure." Bella replied, her voice dreamy as if she were only half listening to what Jessica was saying to her. She shook herself out of it pretty quickly though. "I'll see you later Jess."
"See ya." Jessica sighed and began making her way home. Bella glanced over to where Jessica had pointed out Edward – he was still there waiting and looking for her. She then glanced over at her truck and I could see where her brain was going. Could she get over to her car without being noticed by him? Unexpectedly she turned in the direction of the car and as soon as I saw this I swiftly came out of the covering trees and went up to her taking hold of her upper arm.
"Jake?!" she cried in surprise and confusion as I began steering her towards her truck. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you." I replied flatly. "I wanted to talk to you and make sure that you were ok."
"I'm fine." she replied trying to wriggle free from my very tight grip. "Jake what are you doing?" she asked after failing to get free. I didn't respond. I didn't say anything to her I just carried on in the direction of her truck, practically pushing her inside when we got to it before jumping in myself. Only when both the doors were closed did I finally turn to face her; her eyes were wide and she looked a little frightened but I didn't stop to think about that too much.
"Drive." I commanded. With very little protest Bella started the car and drove out of the school parking lot. Not looking anywhere but the road in front in case she caught Edward's eye and have to pay for this later. I saw him clock the truck leaving but he didn't see me inside which was a good thing, I suppose, otherwise Bella would have really got it in the neck.
"What the hell was all that about?" she asked, her voice angry, when we were out of the traffic and making our way out towards her house.
"I don't know!" I said truthfully. I didn't really know what had possessed me to grab her and drag her off like that; I had seen her seemingly in need and I took a chance to rescue her. "I overheard you and your friend Jessica talking…" I began.
"So you were spying on me!" she all but screeched shooting me a quick glare before her eyes snapped back to the road. "That's an invasion of my privacy Jake! What the hell were you thinking?"
"I don't know!" I yelled back. "I wasn't thinking I guess and how is that any different to what Edward does?"
"It is different." she snapped.
"What because he says he loves you?" I growled back, my temper starting to get the better of me.
"It is different!" she repeated herself but she didn't sound as sure of herself this time. "Anyway he doesn't spy on me."
"Sure, sure." I replied sarcastically. "I bet he doesn't."
"What would you know anyway?" she growled still keeping her eyes resolutely on the road in front of her but I could see her knuckles turning white from her grip on the steering wheel.
"I know enough to know that he's making you miserable." I snapped. "Why do you stay with him Bella, he doesn't make you happy! I've seen the way he is with you and he's no good for you; all your friends seem to agree with me and so does Charlie. Even you know you're not happy but you won't admit that because every single time you challenge him on anything he'll tell you he loves you and make you feel guilty for ever doubting him in the first place."
"It's more complicated than that, Jake." she stated, trying desperately to keep her voice level but I could see the beginnings of tears pricking in the corner of her eyes. "Love is complicated and sometimes it not always as good as everyone makes it out to be. Love's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's a compromise that moves us along until we're in that place where we're both happy again."
"Yeah I know that," I replied rolling my eyes a little. Honestly she was talking to me like I didn't know anything about love. "But it just seems like you're the only one doing the compromising and that's hardly fair!"
"Edward has made his own compromises." she stated, that same slightly huffy tone returning to her voice.
"Oh yeah like what?" I asked sarcastically. I knew when she was lying and when she wasn't, partially because she wasn't very good at it.
"That's private and we don't need to discuss it." she snapped.
"That's because he hasn't made any." I stated. "He's nothing but a selfish ass who wants you to be with him and only him, to monopolise all of your time from your friends and family because that's what he thinks a relationship is and who doesn't actually care about your feelings at all."
"Shut up!" she shouted as she slammed her foot on the breaks. We were only a few yards away from her house but she stopped in the middle of the road, her head hanging slightly to that her hair covered her face. Crap, I had definitely messed it up this time. I had let my temper get the better of me and had said too much of what I really felt when I should have thought about it more and put my feelings in a way that wouldn't make her angry. "Get out." she muttered after a pause.
"What?" I asked, my throat suddenly very dry.
"I said get out." she said again.
"Bella…" I began.
"I'm not going to tell you again," she growled, cutting me off. "get out." Without another word I opened the door and stepped out of the car. The engine revved and she continued driving to her house. I watch from my place by the side of the road until she pulled into her drive way and stopped. I waited for her to get out of the truck and go inside but she never emerged.
I tentatively made my way towards the house, not wanting to get too close because she was probably still angry at me and may even hit me. I reached a point where I could see into the truck without her being able to see me if she looked up. I watched as she let go of the steering wheel and her entire body sagged before she placed her face in her hands and began to sob, well and truly broken.
I couldn't get the sight of Bella crying alone in her car out of my mind. No matter what I did to try and distract myself I couldn't get the image of the girl I loved breaking out of my head. I knew I pushed her into her final breakdown but it was Edward that had put her there in the first place. He was the one who had crushed her self-esteem and made her feel as if she couldn't escape from him no matter how badly he treated her.
There was nothing more I could do to help her – after seeing her this afternoon I knew that now – but I didn't want to give up on her. I wanted to make her smile, a real smile this time not the broken, half smile she had been giving everyone recently, I wanted to make her feel beautiful and take away her insecurities. I knew it was stupid though, she was never going to leave Edward, nothing I or anyone could say would change that so it didn't matter anymore.
I looked out at the rain pounding on my window and went over to it, thinking about the night I biked over to Bella's house and stood out there in the pouring rain to only catch a quick glimpse of her. I stood watching the water pounding the ground for a while before it reminded me too much of Bella's tears and I turned away. I was about to fall face first onto my bed when I saw my cell phone light up with a call. It was Bella. As soon as I saw the name my heart leapt into my mouth and with a shaky hand I brought the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" I answered the phone, my voice cracking slightly.
"Jake," she began and I could hear her teeth chattering slightly. Where the hell was she? "are you at home?"
"Yeah," I replied. "where are you?"
"I'm outside." she told me. I didn't wait for her to say anything else I dropped the phone and tore out of my bedroom and down the stairs. I flung the door open and there she was standing on my doorstep in the pouring rain. She turned to me, phone still held to her ear and a smile split her face. She was drenched, her hair was plastered to her face and she had a rosy tint to her face. She looked absolutely beautiful; all I could do was stare at her, taking in every bit of her.
"Hey…" I breathed.
"Hey…" she replied putting her phone back in her pocket. We stared at each other for a second before I lunged into the rain, grabbed her and kissed her furiously. Instead of pushing me away, as I highly expected her to do, she kissed me back, throwing her arms around my neck as we kissed in the rain like in some kind of classic romantic film.
After what seemed like an eternity of the two of us broke apart. I pushed a wet lock of her hair behind her ear while staring deep into her eyes. I didn't know why she was here and a part of me didn't want to know because then there was a chance that she wouldn't tell me what I wanted to know. There was still a chance she wasn't here to tell me that she had left Edward and she wanted to be with me. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing would come out until it all came out very quickly in one big blur.
"Bella what are you doing here?" I asked a little breathlessly.
"I've left him." she replied.
"What?"
"I left Edward." she said again clarifying. "You and Jess and Charlie and everyone were right; he wasn't a good guy and he wasn't right for me. We were arguing again so I asked him if all the arguing was really worth it, when he couldn't answer me with anything better than 'but I love you' I left."
"And you came here?" I asked a little stupidly, that was rather obvious.
"To see you." she told me.
"Why did you want to see me?" I asked and despite the pelting rain around me my mouth was completely dry. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat but I couldn't shake my nerves. That was until Bella reached up and kissed me once again.
"That's why." she said quietly. "I wanted to tell you that I've left him and that I don't know what's going to happen or what I should do now but I know that I feel safe around you. You make me feel beautiful and you make me feel special. Thank you for everything you've done for me and for being there for me even when I pushed you away."
"I'll always be there for you Bella," I told her. "even if you don't want me to be, I'll always be there for you." She smiled at me and I smiled back down at her, neither of us saying anything just standing there getting wetter and wetter with the rain.
"So what do we do now?" she asked after the two of us both heard a low rumble of thunder.
"Whatever you want to." I replied.
5 down, 10 to go ...dear god