I look up into his eyes, my heart beating fast as his emerald green eyes captivate me, pushing away all the uncertainty in my body. I wonder what he's thinking, I long to know, but the words won't come out. I'm afraid. Afraid of ruining this fleeting moment, to lose the warmth of his arms around my body, his rough fingers caressing my body.

He kisses me lightly, and I swear my heart just stopped, an electric buzz running through my lips. I try hard not to shudder when he lightly caresses my cheek, but it happens anyway.

"I love you." He mutters, his voice husky and low, making my knees weak. It's these words that make me cry, that finally break me, because I know they are not forced, not unsure as they once were. But, they're true and filled with so much meaning that I'd be a fool not to get them. I run a hand through his hair, soft, jet black, hair that smells so much of the woods. His skin is warm to the touch and I feel like I could stay here forever. That isn't the case though. We don't have much time left and I know this, because the guard calls out a five minute warning and I can see other lovers and families closing up their meetings, hugging and kissing, tears and promises that can't be guaranteed.

I glance up at him and he's looking intently at me, holding me as if we have all the time in the world. He wipes away one of my tears, but I wish he hadn't. I want to feel the sadness just a little longer, want it to sink in to my skin, because it'll be the last time I feel this. The raw emotion that comes with being sad. I smile up at him and press a kiss to his rough lips, see the tears in his eyes and simply caress his cheek.

Then the bell rings and it signals that visitation is over. But we both know it signals more. It signals the uncomfortable bus I'll be riding in with a bunch of strangers, riding for hours, possibly to my death. It signals the broken heart I will be leaving, the pain I'll be causing. The best I can do now, is to be strong, will back any further tears and give my love, the man of my life for ten years, a kiss that I wish and hope will be remembered for years. A kiss that'll sooth his nightmares and give him strength if I can never again, support him.

I untangle our intertwined limbs, a reluctance in my every movement as I try desperately to save his image in a fragile mind. We're the only two left in the room and the guard is beckoning me on, but I ignore him as I look at my better half, silently soaking up all the unspoken words we share. Finally, I somehow will my withering body to move away from him and the safety he provides. But, before I can move another inch, I whisper softly in his ear, hoping he'll take in my voice and forever keep it in his heart along side my love.

"I love you." I mutter, so much more in those words that have been spoken before, but now, can only be implied. With those final words, I turn away, a throb so familiar in my chest that I no longer worried of it being a heart attack. I turn back every few moments to see that he's still there, glued to the same spot I left him, looking at me with a painfully hopeful look on his face. I want to tell him so badly the things I couldn't earlier, but in the end, I walked out the door, his figure disappearing from my sight as I am led to the buses.

As I sit once more, in an uncomfortable seat, next to a man who shared my appearance. Buzz cut, dark green uniform and a defeated look in his eyes, a look everyone shared on the bus, I silently cried out in my head as the tormenting sound of the bus rumbling to life filled my ears.

I look out the window, watching as the scenery turns into a blur as we ride past, the gray clouds reflecting the storm in my heart. The emotional pain being intensified to a physical one. As I sit here, my forehead pressed to the glass, I let the tears silently fall down my cheeks, letting out a sadness I no longer welcome as the sound of a war I will soon be fighting, fills my ears. The only thought on my mind, Derek.

I should've told him. Should've confessed something he must've already suspected.

"I'm so sorry..." I mutter softly as if Derek would be able to hear me all the way from California. "I should've told you... I should've told you i'm not coming back this time." I say sadly as I grab my dog tag, twirling it between my fingers. Looking down at it, I faintly wonder why I put Stiles Stilinski and not Stiles Hale.

It's strange, but I think that will be my only regret when I die.