Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own Castle.

[No Spoilers in reviews please...]

A/N: So an interesting idea in a PM for a new, multi chapter fic. I'm sure anyone who reads it would prefer that it were tackled by an author other than me, you know, someone with the writing skills of Hemingway rather than those of a half drunk hammerhead. But I digress... ;-) Last but not least, seriously do not expect daily updates for this one!

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Katherine Beckett had a huge decision to make, one that could change her life forever in so many ways; a bigger more prestigious job in DC, or staying with the familiar in New York. Even from simply a professional level it wasn't an truly easy decision for her, but on a personal level there was so much more at stake.

She had called Castle, needed to talk to him, to look him in the face and ask where they were going; not giving him any room for avoidance this time. He'd agreed easily enough and had asked to meet her at the swings, a special place for them in the past, where she had come to realizations about them, expressed her desire for an eventual relationship. That relationship was the thing in question now, that and how it could clash with her potential professional future.

Beckett recalled telling her dad that the job offer would leave no time for a relationship, and that was undoubtably true in her estimation. She had twisted the situation around in her mind each and every way, concluding time after time that it was an either/or decision, not a both/and one. Freedman had been clear with her, the job required absolute dedication to it above everything else, it left no time for distractions, and his mocking of his own bosses family photos left no doubt about how he felt regarding the role of family in the work place. He hasn't flat out told her, but the implications were obvious; he had no interest in investigators who did not invest everything in the job and the investigations assigned.

It had been a bitter pill to swallow, to admit to herself that maybe this career choice, if she made it, wasn't compatible with her relationship. With the type of relationship she and Castle had always wanted at least. The role wouldn't allow him to work with her, to be there for her; and certainly wouldn't allow her time to be there for him. She knew that in taking the job, any relationship maintained would devolve into what she'd had with Josh; time spent apart, time growing apart, until eventually the framework of what had brought them together would simply collapse. The career she had was certainly compatible, her role as an NYPD detective had brought them together; but this bigger role, bigger career just wouldn't allow the same types of connections that had made them so strong together in the first place.

Castle had been so angry the night before, so upset with her for keeping the whole thing secret; but she really hadn't meant to, hadn't expected anything to come of it. The offer though, it was more than she had ever thought possible; her youthful dream of being the first female Supreme Court justice had slipped her by, but this was the equivalent for her current profession, the pinnacle of federal investigative power and oversight: a special investigator reporting directly to the Attorney General and President.

Her life wasn't about her mother's case anymore, she'd finally managed to finally let that go as her primary driving motivation, she did not need to be a homocide cop in New York now. Hadn't really needed to be for a year now, but no other opportunity had really presented itself before; then just recently everything had changed.

She was sitting on the swings, alone for right now weighing her options. Glancing down at her watch she saw their meeting time had just past, but Castle hasn't arrived yet; leaving her to stew in her own uncertainties or a while longer.

To take the job she'd have to give up so much, her work family in New York, a established career and name at the NYPD, all those things though she'd probably be willing to trade away. Her career had always fulfilled her, not necessarily made her happy, but provided intellectual and professional fulfillment; at the same time it had consumed her, leaving her to live but have little fun. Until that is Montgomery had forced Castle on her, forced her to allow fun back in to her personal and professional life. Beckett would trade away a lot to take the job in DC, she knew that without a doubt; but trade everything? Time with family, friends, an existing career many women or men would kill for; all that and Castle?

Kate was worried that it was simply too late for anything to be recovered between them. Maybe he'd solve the quandary for her, break up, dump her over the secrets kept; ending their relationship and leaving her a simple choice-less conclusion: take the job, hide in work once again and lick her wounds in private.

Every way Kate looked at it the result seemed obvious, she wanted the job, wanted the challenge of DC; but wanted to maintain the relationship with Castle too, to have what they had built over the years. If she was right, if her conclusion that she couldn't have both was the reality of the stark choice she faced; then she had to talk to Castle, had to know what future they had ahead of them. Only with that knowledge in hand would she feel comfortable in choosing; filling in the final elements of the metaphorical murder board of her future, the victim the only remaining unknown: the job or her relationship.

Beckett looked at her watch again, frustration growing. Castle was ten minutes late now and she really needed to talk to him. Freedman was expecting an answer today, she didn't have much time; this job was one thing that wouldn't wait for her.

Her phone started buzzing, deepening her frustration even further; irritated that things were potentially going to be derailed before Castle had even arrived. She was sorely tempted to press [Ignore] but seeing the screen showing [Ryan] she felt obligated, she'd left the guys to deal with what was potentially her last case, she couldn't simply ignore them if they needed help now.

"Ryan this better be important."

The response was not the usual professional tone, it was one with undertones of emotion, Kate knew something was wrong before the first two words were out of his mouth, "Dispatch called. There's been an accident. Castle's hurt. They took him to Bellevue."

She was running to her car as soon as she heard accident. He had probably been hurt coming to meet her, and there were closer hospitals to the park; which meant only one thing: it was serious, he needed to be taken to the tier 1 trauma center at Bellevue.

The tires on Beckett's cruiser squealed their discontent at being abused as the car ripped free from its parking spot adjacent to the park. The lights and sirens no less discontent as she immediate switched them to full on emergency response mode, leaving them to barked and flash their frustration into the empty New York sky.

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Beckett pulled up in front of the Bellevue trauma center, into one of the outside slots reserved for police, emergency lights still flickering their chaotic message for all to see. She rushed inside the main entrance; not the ambulance bay entrance as she would if she'd been with her partner when he'd been hurt. No she was entering the same door anyone else could use to reach him, from friends, casual acquaintances; there was nothing special in their connection in this route to him and it pained her even as she hurried toward him.

Rushing up to the front desk in the Beckett barked out, "Richard Castle? Where is he?"

A nondescript, middle aged lady, her name tag reading 'Monica' responded curtly, "Are you family?"

She hesitated, as she always seems to find herself doing as she pondered what they were to each other, "No."

"Then I can't.."

Not letting Monica get any further on the denial track Kate slapped her badge down on the desk in between them "NYPD. Where is he!"

The woman leaned over the desks to take a closer look at the identification, "Is this an official enquiry Detective Beckett?"

"Yes! I'm not going to ask again."

"Mr Castle is currently a patient at this facility, he's in the trauma center in critical condition."

Frustration, her theme of majority of the day so far, was growing inside her, she need to know, need to know how things stood with him, "What are his injuries?"

"He's in critical condition, under HIPPA disclosure rules I can say any more than that as I'm sure you are aware."

Beckett growled out a reluctant acknowledgment, "I know the rules!"

Not to be intimidated, far too used to this kind of reaction, Monica responded with a simple, yet firm tone, "Then back off detective! The waiting area is over there." She gestured down a long corridor, placed out of the path of foot traffic and emergency personnel.

Beckett had been pacing back and forth in the waiting area, her few shreds of self control slipping away before her phone beeped again, a text from Ryan: [Call me].

As soon as she was connected Beckett was once again in control, "Where are you?"

"At the scene. Looks like a simple accident. He wasn't paying attention, distracted about something and stumbled off the curb, got hit by a cab. There are a few eye witnesses, he took a big hit Beckett."

She growled through the phone, her frustrations temporarily escaping her iron control, "They won't tell me anything here."

"Beckett. Calm down. I called Martha, she's on her way, Alexis too."

The rest of Castle's family had simply slipped her mind she realized, her thoughts too jumbled, too worried to keep others' needs straight right now. She could only respond with a hollow sounding, "Thanks."

"Esposito and I will be finished up here soon, not much to be done honestly; and it's not our turf, well unless.." His voice halted abruptly, then continued in a gentle tone, "We'll be over there soon."

Beckett collapse into one of the waiting room chairs, the thought that he might not make it hadn't entered her mind until Ryan's slip. Critical. Monica had said critical, not serious; critical meant they weren't sure of the survival chances. She might not ever look into his eyes again, the ones that looked at her sometimes as if she were some kind of goddess to be worshiped. Might never feel their blue warmth envelop her again. The thought was heartbreaking.

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When Martha rushed through the emergency room doors she was barely keeping herself in control, her brief conversation with Detective Ryan had been nondescript to say the least, "Bellevue trauma centre. Castle's been hurt. Beckett should be there before you."

She didn't receive the information she hoped for, Richard was still in surgery, in critical condition. One of the staff was kind enough to guide her towards the waiting area where she spotted Katherine huddled in a ball, knees drawn up to her chest forehead resting on them.

Martha gathered herself together, one of them needed to remain in control, to provide some stability: and it really didn't appear to her that Katherine was up for the job right now. She reached out her hand, trying to provide the little comfort should could given her own worries, stroking gently at Kate's hair, "Katherine dear."

Kate's head rose from her knees, tear streaked face looking up at Martha before she stood and pulled her into a tight, desperate embrace.

"What happened Katherine?"

"I don't really know Martha, looks like an accident.. I.. I wasn't with him when it happened. We haven't been talking the last couple of days."

"Ah. The.. later. Not now. Just know now, no matter what happens, he loves you Katherine, more than I have ever seen him love any other woman."

"I know Martha. I know." The tears started to flow again then, Kate didn't cry easily, preferred to keep iron control of her emotions; but she couldn't control things now, it was all becoming too much.

They were both still standing, arms around each other when they heard Alexis's voice calling for her dad as she entered the facility.

Martha called out to her, wanting to draw her to them before any other news could be shared with her, "Alexis! Come over here."

Alexis looked at Kate's tear streaked face and her own expression began to crumble, "What happened?"

Beckett could respond to that, a simple request for facts she knew how to handle even now, "A random accident is what it looks like according to Ryan. I wasn't with him when it happened."

"An accident?"

"He was hit by a cab, I don't really know any more than that."

"What happens now?"

Martha spoke up, imposing herself, trying to be a calm presence for the other two, "We wait. We all wait together."

Drawing both young women into her embrace Martha pulled them down to sit together, and they waited for more information.

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Ryan an Esposito arrived together, none of their usual banter between them as they started to approach the three women.

Esposito slowed to a stop halfway across the waiting room, reaching out to grab Ryan's arm, "Bro, I think we should leave well alone."

"Seriously dude? We have to say something."

"Kev, they weren't even talking, I don't want to get in the middle of that."

Ryan shook loose of Esposito's grip walking forward again, "Whatever was going on between them, she needs our support right now."

He continued approaching, leaving Esposito standing frozen and torn behind him; kneeling down in front of the chairs as Beckett looked up toward him, he spoke softly, "Hey Beckett. Any news?"

"Nothing."

"Need anything?"

Kate shook her head quickly, "Not right now, any more information about what happened?"

"Not really, no evidence of anything odd. Just looks like an accident."

"Thanks." Beckett closed her eyes then leaning back in the chair, leaning a little into Martha side.

Ryan conclude that conversation was very much over, and left them alone; moving away a few chair to sit down; glaring across the room at Esposito and briskly gesturing him over to join him.

Roughly an hour later there were more people clustered in the waiting area, detectives and uniforms from the 12th had started drifting in a little after the 5pm shift change. All of them expressing small shows of support to Martha, Alexis, and to Beckett; there to show some solidarity with Castle, not technically a cop, but such a welcome presence at the precinct. He was part of their family and many of them wanted to show their support for him, just as he had supported the precinct in so many ways.

The three of them had been clustered together earlier but has separated a little when Lanie had appeared to take custody of Beckett, who was starting to show signs of clear agitation rather than just burn out from worry. Lanie had to force her to sit again instead of standing and pacing, trying and make her relax instead of chewing on her knuckles and lower lip.

Instead of her more usual aggressive tone, Lanie was gentle, trying got be a comforting presence for her friend, "Kate? How are you holding up?"

"Terrible."

"Everything is going for be alright."

That pushed a button for Beckett, touching layers on meaning that she didn't want to think about right now, drawing out a snappish response, "You don't know that!"

"Girl! Don't go looking for trouble. In trauma no news is good news; they're still working."

"I just want him to be ok Lanie. I need him to be ok."

Lanie pulled Kate into a quick hug, "I know you do honey. I know."

A doctor approached the waiting area, "Family of Richard Castle?" He was tall, severe looking, with a military bearing, ramrod straight back and short, graying hair. His blue scrubs had small blood spots on the arms.

Martha pushed herself forward, pulling Alexis behind her and reaching a hand toward Beckett where Lanie had released her and was nudging her forward. Martha was the only one to speak, "Here."

"I'm doctor McDaniels, one of the team that has been treating mister Castle. He has suffered significant injuries, we are still in the process of stabilizing him. There are numerous broken bones, which are being surgically pinned. We are still concerned regarding his head injuries. At this point we believe he is out of any imminent danger, though assessment continues."

Kate finally reached Martha, taking her hand and enclosing it in an almost crushing grip: needing something, someone to be a source of strength, to help her stand through this. Alexis was on little better shape, leaning heavily on her grandmother. There was a group relaxation, though only modest, as the doctor indicated the imminent danger was past.

The doctor continued briefly, "We will attempt to keep you up to date, though surgery and treatment is expected to continue for now."

He gave them a small smile, that Martha assumed was supposed to convey some sort of comfort, though she felt little from it, "I need to get back in there now."

Martha guided Alexis back to an empty chair, and Beckett back to Lanie who wrapped her up in a tight hug. Then took the responsibility on herself to update the others, simply communicating that Richard was out of immediate danger but was still being treated.

After that she settled back down beside Alexis, ready to provide support and to wait for her son to come back to her.

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Martha was brought out of a semi-dazed state by a touch on her shoulder, "Mrs Castle?"

With Alexis' head resting on her shoulder she was careful not to make any sudden movements, not to jostle the child who still appeared so worn out, so frightened even in her sleep. Looking around she saw a nurse holding out an plain brown envelope toward her, "It's Ms Rodgers dear, or Martha. What's this?"

"These are mister Castle's personal effects Ms Rodgers. Could you sign here please?" A clip board thrust into view then, hardly what Martha would call an appropriate time to be doing this but she signed anyway.

"Thank you."

Alexis had clearly been woken though, as her whispered voice made clear, "Grams? What is it?"

"It's Richards personal items."

Alexis reached out a hand towards the envelope, "Can I?"

"Of course dear."

After taking careful hold of the envelope, she cracked it open and peered inside. She couldn't help the weak smile that teased her face with happiness as she reached in to pull out his wallet, and slipped a black card from within it, "Look Grams, I have his Amex and he's not even whining at me."

As she started to put the wallet back into place, she let out a small gasp, looking around quickly to see if anyone had noticed but Martha. No one had; the detectives for the 12th were mainly cluster together playing a game of cards. Kate was sat next Lanie, head drooping onto her shoulder, seemly boneless with exhaustion.

"Grams! Walk with me, let's go get some coffee please?"

"Hospital coffee? Seriously darling you don't need the caffeine or the punishment."

"Come on! Grams!"

Martha was looking at her granddaughter very skeptically as she pushed herself up and out of the chair, "Fine. Fine. What is this really about?"

After rounding a corner from the waiting room, Alexis dipped her hand into the envelope, had to peak again to find what she was looking form. The she pulled a small item free with a flourish almost dramatic enough to justify a spontaneous dove conversion. Though she was sure it would have been a very rare, expensive, and shiny dove if it had happened.

Alexis lowered her voice to barely a whisper, "Is this what I think it is? An engagement ring? Did you know about this?"

"Well dear, I did know he had a ring. He's had it for months, just hadn't worked up the courage to stop holding himself back yet. I didn't know he was carrying it around everywhere though. Silly boy, he could have been mugged."

"I doubt he was Grams, just carrying everywhere I mean. I talked to him last night, about not letting fear hold you back; I mean I was talking about me, but he seemed to be listening very seriously. Maybe he was going to give it to her today?"

"Well I suppose, we had a little chat earlier too; about holding back. It's certainly possible."

"Should we tell her?"

Martha dropped her finest Diva visage over her face and shoulders, staring Alexis solidly n the eyes, "Absolutely not! That ring is between them, we can't interfere with that Alexis; perhaps your father changed his mind at the last minute, wasn't going through with it. We just don't know, only he does; we leave it alone until he can finish whatever he had planned."

She reached out and took the envelope and ring from Alexis, "I think I better look after these."

Martha wasn't sure what had happened, but obviously big things were occurring between her son and Katherine. Was Richard on the way to propose to Katherine when he had been injured? Or had he proposed and been rejected, before losing himself in distraction and being injured as a result? Katherine hasn't said anything about a proposal, but then Martha wouldn't have expected her to bring it up if she had rejected him, particularly if she had done so perhaps only minutes before he was seriously injured. Martha just didn't know what to make of the situation, and as she'd told Alexis, the only way to know what had happened, what direction things were headed in was to wait for her son to fill in the gaps. For now, she had no choice but to wait, and slipped the ring into a pocket for safekeeping.