Amaranth
Xielle
"Literally 'one that does not wither' - And it's swallowing him whole, and pressing all around him at all times, suffocating."
Oneshot. Drabble.
- - -
The memories are at the back of his mind – not always in focus, but just enough to know that it's just there.
'Almost like…'
But he stops that thought there, because he just can't seem to describe it.
The name is at the tip of his tongue – something you might blurt out in some blinding moment of realization, if it ever comes.
'Almost like…'
But he stops that thought there, because he knows that he's unlikely to remember. Or maybe he's afraid to remember.
He doesn't really know which it is, so sometimes he takes a moment to ponder it.
'Almost like…'
But he stops that thought there, because… he stops because… well, he can't really remember…
And the moment passes.
He goes on with his life. He is happy. But he just can't seem to shrug off the memory out of his mind nor the name away from the tip of his tongue.
But everybody else is happy, so he buries the thoughts deeper in his mind and escapes it, for the sake of everyone else.
At night, he dreams. The memories are all he can think of, and the name, he realizes, he can finally say, even though he now wishes he couldn't.
And in dreams, he can think.
In dreams – all in its vivid clarity – he can remember.
And it's swallowing him whole, and pressing all around him at all times, suffocating.
'It's almost like…like it's alive…'
Only in his dreams does Harry acknowledge his thoughts, his fears – all suffocating and choking.
He can, and has, won as much as he lost.
In his dreams, he can acknowledge him.
Harry might've won, but he has also lost to His memory. But this time, he can't win again because it's a part of him.
While alone and awake, Harry, in his privacy, sometimes drinks to the memories – always at the back of his mind. Harry lets out a small chuckle, as if sharing an old, private joke with what's-that-name – always at the tip of his tongue.
'It's almost like…'
But Harry stops there because… he stops because… well, he couldn't really remember…
But at the same time, he feels as though he knows in his heart, and deep in his soul.
It's comforting, in an odd, twisted sense that feels like it shouldn't…
And it's swallowing him whole, and pressing all around him at all times, suffocating.
"In pace requiescat!"
- - -
04-12-09
In pace requiescat! – Rest in peace
AN: Which one though to rest in peace though – Harry or Tom? Interpret. Discuss?
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and all related etc. attached to it - at all. It belongs to JK Rowling, etc. etc.
I also don't own The Cask of Amontillado, the story where I took the last phrase from. And while I know that the phrase isn't…exactly copyrighted to that story, just thought I'd mention it here. Since it is where I got the idea (of using it) from.