Bind

A Death Note Fanfiction (Writing trade with only-mj!)

Rating: T

Pairing: MattMello

Mello had just left Roger's office and intended on returning to his room. Such was his safe space, after all. In his hand, he had test results back from the last exam they had. Needless to say, he wasn't pleased. It was hard for him to ever be pleased with himself as long as he lagged behind a certain individual. Alas, what else was new?

Reaching for the doorknob, he heard the small TV in his room playing. He didn't even question that it was Matt, so he entered as usual. Though he only got a short wave, not even a look back at him, his friend's presence instantly put him at ease.

This always happened. Matt just had an air about him. Perhaps it was his carefree attitude.

Mello noticed he was particularly glued to the screen today. Usually he was able to multitask in some manner, but today he wasn't.

It felt odd, but Mello didn't comment on it and planned not to unless it affected him directly.

He simply plopped onto his bed and leaned against the headboard and looked over the tests. Figuring he could learn from his mistakes this time, he went over what he did wrong. To his dismay it was a bunch of small mistakes that he overlooked. Forgot to carry a two or divide a five. They were so minuscule, but they added up. After a few minutes, he gave an exasperated sigh and covered his face with a single hand. It frustrated him to no end. Something as ridiculous as a number on a paper determined his self-worth and he hated that. Granted, he was the second best, which a lot of other people at Wammy's House would have killed for, but second wasn't first. He hated how stupid he was for missing those small numbers, he hated how much he cared about grades, he hated how hard he had to work just to be one-upped in the end, he hated Roger for giving the grades.

...That was enough self-loathing for one day.

"Matt, talk to me." he beckoned, keeping his face planted behind his hand.

All that came in reply was Matt shifting on the carpet. Mello lowered his hand and glared at him.

"Matt!"

"This show is really good, Mello, you should watch it." he finally said. Handling Mello when he was irritated was a no-brainer for him at this point in their relationship. Never did he take it personally. He knew him better.

His mouth opened to retort, but instead he shut it and quietly say back against the headboard.

On the screen was a small kid and apparently three women around him. At first, he thought this was going in a weird direction, but he continued to watch.

Low and behold, some of the jokes got him to chuckle. Out loud.

It was actually pretty good.

"So, they're all named after gemstones?"

Matt nodded.

"And these one's here with the kid are kind of like an anarchy against their own world?"

"Er...more like a rebellion? Wouldn't you be too if your world was doing something really wrong?"

Mello rolled his eyes. "Matt, I think that now but we can't just go planet-hopping, let alone start a rebellion."

"We'd be doing that too, if we could."

Mello smiled a bit, though Matt was unaware. "Yeah, if."

They continued to watch together in silence for a while longer. Matt seemed to really like this show, so Mello didn't want to interrupt too terribly much. If he started from the beginning, he would probably understand more deeper concepts of the show. For a second, he wondered if Near would automatically understand. That got him mad again. He was stubborn.

The show started the end credits as the next show was being introduced.

"No, wait, is there more?" Mello inquired.

Matt beamed back at him. "Like it?"

"No, I hate it. Is there more?"

"There's a computer in the study. You can go online and watch more. I can go with you, if you want."

They took it upon themselves to do just that and made their way to the study. Luckily, there were only a few kids there. They sat near the back and put on their own headphones as to not disturb the others.

Matt pulled up the first episode.

It seemed like only a short time before Matt got up again. "Mello, it's late. I'm gonna head to bed, okay?" he said, shortly before a yawn escaped.

Mello simply waved at him as a gesture of 'good night.' Matt rolled his eyes and smiled as he went out the door.

The next morning, Matt made his way back to Mello's room as he usually did. Either he would wake him up or he would have breakfast with him at times. It depended if Mello was feeling somewhat social or not. Even when he wasn't, he never felt like Mello minded his presence.

"Hey," he said, peeking out from behind his bedroom door, "Are you naked?"

"Yeah, I'm so-" Matt opened the door midway through Mello's sentence. "You asshole, what if I really was?"

Matt rolled onto the floor again. "Whatever, you wouldn't hate it."

Instead of watching TV, Matt had brought over his handheld games. There was only so much time he could go without having game withdrawals.

Mello watched him for a short time before saying, "So, Garnet's gems are different shapes, does that mean anything?"

Matt paused the game. "Wh...? What episode did you get to last night?"

"I don't know, I lost track...It was just an observation, but I'm guessing it does mean something."

Matt sighed. Nothing got passed him. Kind of a spoiler though. "Yeah, it does. You'll see."

Without saying anything in return, he left his room and returned to the study. He would definitely find out.

Mello watched the show for the rest of the day. It was distracting him from his work, but he couldn't remember the last time he was this fascinated with something. The story was really enthralling and the characters were endearing. He found the one called Amethyst the most real, but at times he also liked Garnet. She had secrets.

He figured Matt probably liked Amethyst too. She was more like him.

A few episodes caught him off-guard though as they dealt with a specific theme he didn't quite understand. At first, he thought it was lack of experience, but he genuinely didn't get it. Something called "fusion."

"Is fusion like some emotional bond? They really like each other so they fuse and grow stronger together the stronger their bond is?"

"It's an experience." Matt replied.

"Is that some reference in the show? I hate you." Mello cursed him for not being straightforward.

He pondered the concept any time in came up in the show. Could anyone do that?

'Wait, this is a show, people in reality can't do that.' he thought to himself one evening, Matt on the floor of his room again.

'...Or maybe it's something shown in fiction that represents something capable in reality.'

He looked over at his friend on the floor.

This brought up a whole new flurry of thoughts in his mind.

"...What do you think we'd look like if we fused?"

Matt was quiet. He wasn't sure if Mello was teasing him this time or not, so he responded as if he was. It was as safe a bet as any.

"One handsome motherfucker. With, like, four eyes."

"Yeah...?" Mello took it completely seriously.

Matt genuinely laughed at that. "Mello, calm down, it's a show!"

To Matt's enjoyment, his face reddened. "Shut up, I know!"

Mello looked uncomfortable now, wishing he hadn't brought it up aloud. This wasn't like him as he was usually open with Matt about most things. That's how Matt got to know him so well. Both the verbal and the nonverbal communication.

"Hey, sorry. Why are you thinking so hard about it? You want to fuse with me?"

The silence that followed spoke volumes.

Now, it was Matt's turn to feel awkward. But more than that, he felt concerned. "Mello, what?"

All his companion displayed was avoided eye contact as he glared at the wall away from Matt.

"Nothing, I was just thinking about it too hard." he said, flatly.

Matt then sat on the edge of the bed close to Mello's legs and leaned on them. The two said nothing more for a long time after that.

As the next day came, Mello and Matt were called to the auditorium, along with others, to help clean up a set. The two didn't say much to each other, but it was not an awkward cold shoulder. There was no malice in the least. In fact, this happened sometimes with Mello. Matt knew sometimes this was just what he needed to do. Luckily, he respected that. He didn't take it personally. The only problem was that he was a bit confused as to what Mello was insinuating the past night. He didn't let it get to him too much, but he couldn't help wonder. What was stranger was that he wanted to entertain Mello's thoughts. Though he wasn't sure how.

As most everyone was finishing up and leaving the big room, Matt was lugging a big square piece of the set off the stage with him. The biggest obstacle was the stairs. He mentally prepared himself. 'You got this, it's cool.' His immediately missed his footing.

So much for that.

Mello was nearby and looked over at his friend starting to fall and hurried over. Grabbing the other side, Mello helped him get it back upright again as Matt got his footing back.

Briefly, he only looked at Mello, unable to form words. Until he tried for a "Thorry."

"Excuse you?"

"...I couldn't decide between 'thank you' or 'sorry.'"

Mello couldn't help but smile at that. "You're problem." he scoffed back, "I couldn't decide between 'you're welcome' or 'no problem.'"

Matt returned a smile back at him, eyes gleaming. Maybe it was the lighting, but Mello looked strange too. Their eyes had a glow to them. There was also this strange feeling between them. Like it was saying, 'do something.'

Matt was the first to break this trance. "Oh, yeah, let's put this away." How could they forget this huge set piece between them?

After they put it into the storage closet in the auditorium, Mello closed the doors. "What a waste of a morning."

Something grabbed onto his hand. Mello looked at it instantly and saw Matt's hand around his own.

"We could make it more interesting."

Mello didn't know how to respond except become flustered. Though he had this display of red on his cheeks, he said nothing. He only nodded.

Matt took him along by hand back to the stage and they returned up the stairs to the center.

Then, Matt faced him. Mello avoided his gaze and pulled his hand back. "Matt, what are you doing?"

"Let me lead." Matt said, blatantly ignoring Mello's inquiry.

"No, Matt," - Matt put a hand on Mello's waist and kept the other with his hand- "Seriously, I can't- If we're dancing, fuck you. I can't dance, I-"

Matt gave him a slightly stern expression. Nothing more needed to be said. Mello felt that message loud and clear. He bit his lip, but remained unresponsive in Matt's arms.

Before anything else occurred, he looked around to the doors to make sure no one was looking and sighed. Since no one was there and it was just Matt, he figured it would be okay just this once.

"Relax." Matt chimed, feeling Mello become calmer than before. "It's just me."

Mello's eyes sparkled a bit at the sentiment. Maybe this is what it felt like to have 'stars in the eyes' like the TV show had displayed.

He let himself wrap his arms around Matt's shoulders and followed him. There was no music, but they kept a silent beat together. So many words were spoken in the silence. It was strange, Mello felt like he was somewhere else. Maybe the show had give him some kind of expectation. Maybe he was making this happen himself. Either way, it felt good. They did their silent dance for a bit longer as they both decided they were fine as they were. No need to stop something that felt so nice.

For once, Mello's mind was clear of all things that ground into him like a scarlet letter. He wasn't thinking of Near, of being second, or anything for that matter. The only thing he could see was Matt.

And all Matt could see was Mello.

Finally, they came to a stop as they had just about covered the entire stage. Matt rested his head on Mello's and he obliged.

Matt looked right at him, but Mello didn't keep the look for long.

"That was terrible." he chuckled. "Didn't we take dance lessons here? They didn't work."

Matt smiled at him. "We were a lost cause to begin with."

"Maybe." he said in a whisper and finally locked eyes with Matt.

"...Nothing happened." he spoke again shortly after.

The entire time, Matt remained with his arms around Mello. He was surprised he was even allowing this, it lasted so long. "Maybe that just means we need to get closer."

"...but we're literally hugging right now."

"Not physically."

He bit his lip again. Matt continued to press his forehead against Mello's and hold him close. How long had he been wanting to do this, exactly?

"Okay..." Mello said, in a softer voice.

They stayed in that position for what seemed like an eternity, but broke out of it when they heard someone running across the hall.

They looked at each other, now about a foot apart.

It showed them two things: how close they were and how close they needed to become.

Matt teased him a bit by reaching his hand over and grasping Mello's. He didn't resist.

They were quiet again for a while. Their silence was never awkward.

"Hey," Mello said, turning his head from Matt, "It's a good show."

Matt saw him facing away, but offered a smile anyway. "You're a good show too."