A.N- ^_^ Here we go! It's…long, though, but I hope you guys don't mind that. ^_~ It's filled with Lubyness, though, so I hope that works.
^_^ Thanks to Noa for the idea; this goes out to all the Lubies. And thanks to Marie for 'proof-reading' too. ^_^
- - - - - - -
It had been a few hours since Luka had drifted off into a light sleep. Despite the rest that he got at night, his body seemed to demand more than usual to make up for the energy the malaria had consumed. He'd do all possible to not miss any meals, go to bed early, get exercise, but even with that he felt tired. Exhausted at times, even. But all he needed was time, and soon enough he would be fine and would go back to work.
The sudden ringing of the telephone suddenly filled the apartment, its noise echoing through it, but no matter how loud the phone was, Luka didn't hear it ring, nor the answering machine coming on.
"Just leave a message, I'll get back to you."
As Abby heard Luka's voice in the answering machine, she couldn't help but smile as she remembered the day that he had recorded that message; he had had it since they were going out. She had even been with him as he recorded it. . . That day, they had spent the whole afternoon trying to figure out how to just record a message and then, at the end of the night, Luka had been able to finally record something that wasn't laughter; each time they would realize the machine was recording, it had been too late and the only thing they had done was burst into laughter.
Snapping out of her thoughts, Abby waited for a few seconds to see if Luka would actually answer the phone but, when he didn't, she sighed mentally. "Um, hey Luka. I was just- I needed to talk to you about something, but I can just call y-"
"Hello? Abby?"
Luka had woken up as he heard her voice and, as he realized she was leaving a message, he immediately got out of bed and hurried to grab the phone quickly to answer it. Now as he stood next to the little side table where the phone was, he suddenly felt dizzy because of how fast he had gotten up. Putting a hand over his forehead to try to put an end to the dizziness, he leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. "Sorry, I. . .didn't hear the phone."
"Hey Luka." She smiled slightly when she heard how groggy his voice sounded; he had obviously been asleep and had just woken up. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
All the excitement that she had been feeling diminished slightly as she realized that she had woken him up. His strength wasn't back to normal yet, so he obviously needed all the rest he could get. Part of her, for the past few weeks, had been wanting to check on him constantly. Now that Gillian was gone he could forget to take his pills, or maybe had missed a meal, or not get enough rest. Constantly, she'd try to reassure herself by saying he was ok and she was worrying for nothing, but she just couldn't help it. She had gone out with him for a year, was friends with him now… Of course she'd worry about him.
It was normal, right?
Luka, on the other side of the line, tried to stifle back a yawn as he rubbed his eyes lazily. "Um, no, I… I was watching TV; something really boring."
"How are you doing?"
Luka smiled, sitting down on the couch. "Good. Better, thanks. Is Romano still giving you a hard time with that situation with the nurses' suspension?"
Laughing lightly, Abby nodded slightly. That was the last thing in her mind at the moment, though. . . "Yeah, but it's. . .getting better." She smiled when he chuckled and, smiling slightly wider; she leaned against the back of her couch as she went through a few papers. "Hey, Luka? Do you have any plans for tonight?"
Grinning, Luka shook his head. He knew very well it wasn't a date-they were both pretty much clear on that. For the past couple of days they had been eating lunch together, or going for walks by the river, and, basically, they were just having a good time. As friends. With everything they had both gone through and with his experience in Africa and with Gillian, he didn't exactly know where his feelings towards Abby stood anymore. They were both just enjoying a friendship they hadn't developed much while being together, and now. . . Now he was loving it.
"Nope, no plans." Chuckling, he reached for the TV controller and started to go through the channels to see what he could watch. "Why? Are you going to invite me somewhere?"
Abby laughed lightly and couldn't keep down the grin that started to spread across her lips. For the last couple of days Gordana's words about how Luka used to be playful and funny had started to ring in her head: now she was seeing a Luka she had never seen before and it was. . .refreshing. "Actually, yes. I don't have a shift tonight for the first time in weeks, and I have something I want to celebrate."
Grinning once more, Luka nodded. "Ok. What are we celebrating?"
"Nuh-uh, I'm not telling you through the phone. I'll see you at seven?"
Luka laughed. "Yeah, that's fine. So where are we going? Because I need to know how I should be dressed, you know."
Now it was Abby's turn to laugh. "I was thinking that Thai place we went to once; the one that was by that hotel you used to live in."
"Ok, I'll be there. Seven?"
"Yup."
Nodding, Luka grinned. "I'll see you then."
- - - - -
Luka walked inside the restaurant as he dug his hands in the pockets of his coat. Lately, at night, the wind seemed to be getting colder, and tonight was colder than other nights. Knowing that the Thai restaurant wasn't all that formal, if not at all, he had just put on a pair of jeans, a black sweater, and his coat. Not fancy, but he still wanted to look nice. He had spent too many days looking sick; now he wanted to improve how he looked. After his conversation with Abby on the phone, he had gone to cut his hair and then, after his shower, he shaved. It was weird not to have those usual strands of hair falling over his forehead, but it was time for a change.
At least for a few days.
Abby had been going through the appetizer menu, unsure what Luka would want. Even if she didn't have that much money left to spend, she really wanted to go all out and celebrate this new phase in her life. She wanted to finally be able to start it and, after tonight, she would.
After tonight she would be finally set: She was taking control of her life.
She wasn't going to settle for little things anymore; she wasn't going to just stand in the sidelines. Even if it had taken her years to realize it, she was glad she did realize it.
Finally…
When she looked up, she saw Luka looking around for her. Immediately, she saw the difference in appearance and she couldn't help but smile; glad that he felt, and obviously looked, a lot better. Tucking back a strand of hair behind her ear, she waited for him to turn to her, which would be soon. And, soon enough, Luka turned towards her direction and grinned when he waved at her.
Walking to her table, Luka felt the way his heart seemed to have made a leap inside his chest. Despite the words that he had spat at her when they had broken up, her beauty always made his heart happy: and tonight she seemed even more beautiful than usual. Something made her smile look more genuine; relaxed and…happy.
"Hey," she said with a grin as she leaned back on her chair. "I thought you wouldn't see me sitting here."
Chuckling, Luka took off his coat before sitting. "I was starting to think that you were hiding from me." Grinning, he stared at her for a short while before he started talking without thinking. "You look very beautiful tonight, Abby."
He didn't realize what he had said until he saw the look of surprise on her face. Kicking himself mentally, his grin minimized slowly. He regretted saying those words immediately as he feared that those words had made her uncomfortable; but she did look beautiful. It was the truth… She seemed tired from working too hard but, to him, she looked absolutely beautiful.
Abby had been grinning at him, but when he said that, her surprise couldn't be hidden; unsure what to feel. Part of her told her to ignore it, that he probably didn't mean it, but another part-the bigger part-was happy he had said it. And she believed it, too. Just the way that he had said it, and the way that he had been staring at her made her feel…special. Happy, more happy. It even made her feel beautiful.
Not noticing that he was about to apologize for what he had said, Abby smiled widely. "Thank you. You look pretty nice yourself." She grinned and nodded slightly towards his hair. "I like the new hair cut."
Luka laughed lightly, mostly in relief that he hadn't offended her or made everything awkward. He was just glad that he hadn't ruined anything again. "Why, thank you. Have you ordered anything?"
"Nah, I was waiting for you." Looking around, Abby smiled at the semi-familiar surroundings of the restaurants. It had been years since she had been there, and now that she was back, she was glad that they had gone there to celebrate. It felt right…
"Abby?"
She turned to him, slightly startled; unaware that she had been zoning out. "Yeah?"
"Are you going to tell me what we're going to be celebrating?"
Abby grinned at that. "I'm going to wait a bit before I tell you."
"Oh, come on…!" Luka chuckled when he heard her life, even if he had tried to stay serious so she'd just tell him. "Why don't you just tell me now?"
"Ah, maybe I like the suspense…?" At Luka's anxious face expression, she laughed once more. "You'll find out, Luka. I promise."
~ ~ ~ ~
"Are you going to tell me now?"
"Nope."
Luka stayed silent, taking another bite of his dessert, before turning his eyes towards her as he kept his head down towards his meal. "… Now?"
Laughing, she finally turned to him. "Jeez, Luka, I shouldn't have told you I was going to tell you something!"
"Yeah, but you did, and you've had me in the dark about it throughout the whole meal. We're almost going to finish dessert, so… What is it?"
'He's right,' she thought. 'I've been putting it off long enough.'
Abby didn't know why she wanted to wait. Maybe it was because how much it meant that she was changing? But change was all that she wanted… Was she afraid of change? … Well, of course she was; she had been putting everything off for years now. But now her life was making a full turn; it was for the better. She wasn't going to settle for anything. Not anymore.
Taking a breath, she put down her soon and leaned back on her chair. "Well, for the past few weeks I've been thinking about what we mentioned when you were in the hospital. How I was due for a change, remember? Well, I was tired of how my life was. How I felt every day, so I decided to do something. Something for me; not for Maggie, not for Eric, not for…anyone."
Luka nodded in understanding. He had put his spoon down, giving her his full attention but, now that she stopped talking, he waited for her to talk again. When she didn't, he leaned slightly to her. "What did you decide to do, then?"
"I…" Abby grinned, sitting up straight. "I'm going back to med school."
At first, he had been extremely surprised at her decision-mainly because of the many times she mentioned that she liked to be a nurse. As the surprise minimized, he grinned widely at her. "Abby, congratulations! Is this what you were being so secretive about that other time?"
Nodding, Abby grinned widely back. "Yep. I didn't want to get ahead of myself, I wanted to see if I could do it first."
"Well, of course you could!" Luka grinned. "I'm very happy for you, Abby." As the surprise minimized even more and he started to think things out, his grin minimized slightly; confused. "Where did you get the money from? Is that why you needed all those extra shifts?"
"That's why I need the extra shifts, yeah. But I don't mind it, though; I got what I needed."
He knew, though, that med school required more money than the over-time she could have gotten in a couple of weeks, so he frowned slightly. "How did you get it…?"
"The…extra shifts?"
"No, the money."
"With a few loans, some money I had saved… And… I kind of talked to Richard."
Luka stayed silent for a short moment. "Your ex-husband?"
Smiling slightly, Abby nodded. "Yeah."
"How come you didn't ask me? I could have helped, Abby."
She sighed mentally at that, now realizing why she had been putting it off. Nodding, she leaned back again. "I know, but you need the money too."
"For what? I don't owe anything. I don't have to pay for anything."
"And your car? You have to get it fixed, or get a new one. You have to pay hospital bills, you haven't worked in months… Besides, he still had to pay for my tuition, remember? That had been the only thing I had asked him for when we got divorced."
Luka shook his head. "Abby-"
"Luka, please… I'm really excited about all this; I want to go back to med school." Unconsciously, she reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. "I know you wanted to help, and I thank you for wanting to help me, but it's done… I just want to go back to med school. I thought you'd be happy for me."
He stared at her, silent. The whole fact that she had taken his hand caught him completely off-guard and had snapped him out of his over-protective mode. He stayed silent for a moment before squeezing her hand back gently and putting his free hand over hers. Smiling slightly, he nodded. "I am happy for you, Abby… I'm very happy for you. I already told you, many times; I just want to see you happy. And it seems like you are."
"But…?"
"But… I just wish you would have come to me if you needed money. I would do anything to help you."
Before, Abby would have taken her hand away from his and would have told him that he shouldn't things like that. That he shouldn't do another mistake. Now, though, she liked the feeling. She liked knowing that he wanted to help her. She liked the feeling of his hands holding hers. Once again, it felt right. Things were finally not awkward anymore; just right. Grinning slightly, she nodded and squeezed his hand again. "I know that, Luka."
"So next time you need help you'll ask me?"
Smiling, she leaned slightly closer to him, talking in a low voice. "Will that make you feel better?"
Luka tried not to smile to show her that he was serious about the conversation, but when he saw her smile, a small smile appeared on his own lips. Leaning closer to her, he said in an even lower voice, "Maybe."
Abby laughed lightly at that before grinning. "Ok."
"Promise?"
"Luka…"
"Abby, it's just that I don't want that jackass to do something to you again; you saw what happened last time. I don't want him to use this to hurt you. Promise…?"
Letting out a sigh of mock annoyance, Abby nodded. "Ok, ok, I promise." Smiling, she squeezed his hand again.
He smiled and, just as he was about to say something else to her, the waiter passed by their table again.
"Would you like something else, sir?"
"Yeah, a couple more desserts and more coffee." When the waiter left, Luka turned to her and laughed at her surprised expression. "What?"
"More dessert?"
"Well we have to celebrate! Pretty soon I'll be working with Dr. Abby Lockhart." As she grinned after laughing, Luka smiled back. "It has a nice ring to it, huh?"
- - - - - - -
"You didn't have to pay for dinner, you know." Abby looked up at him as they walked to her car. Luka had insisted on him paying for dinner and hadn't even let her pay for her part of the meal. "I was the one that invited you for dinner."
"But what kind of gentleman would I have been if I hadn't paid? Besides, we're celebrating your accomplishment; so I wanted to pay."
Joking, Abby grinned up at him. "Huh… I should have picked some other place to eat. Something…fancy."
Laughing, Luka turned to her. "Then I would have let you pay." Laughing along with her, he walked her to her car.
Smiling, Abby leaned against the car. She had noticed how much better he looked, but now that she was much closer to him instead of just sitting with him across the table from him in a restaurant, she was now able to smell his aftershave. She could feel the way something in her stomach seemed to flutter. She had always loved that scent, but something inside her told her it wasn't just his scent that was making her stomach flutter. It had been there the whole evening they had spent together. It had been there since before he had left to the Congo… And now with this; with their conversations, their laughs…
Now she knew that it was him who was making her feel that way; but now she just didn't know if it was too late.
'One thing at a time, Abby,' she told herself.
Luka closed up her coat for her as he smiled. "Do you have a shift tomorrow?"
"Yeah, at six." Seeing that he was starting to get tired, she couldn't help but laugh lightly.
At the laugh, Luka turned to her with slightly wide eyes; confused. "What's so funny?"
Laughing lightly again, Abby shook her head. "Nothing. Why don't you get in and I'll give you a ride home."
Luka smiled but shook his head. "You don't have to do that, I'll just walk. It's not that far from here; besides, you should go home and sleep. You look really tired."
"You do too… Come on, Luka, just get in the car."
"You sure?"
Grinning, Abby nodded and unlocked the doors. "Yes, I'm sure."
Giving in, Luka smiled and went to the passenger's side; buckling up once he got in. "I need to get a car."
Starting to drive, she smiled. "Told you. Just don't get another race car; now I might not be around the ER to go out to the ambulance bay to save you from a speeding ticket."
He shook his head, laughing lightly. "So how has work been? I need to be well caught up for when I go back."
Abby turned to him for a short moment before turning back to the road, smiling. "Nothing has really changed since what I told you last. I've told you all the 'good stuff.' Everything else is just…every day stuff." Smiling, she turned to him again before back at the road. "You've been missed, though."
At that, Luka laughed. "Yeah, right Abby."
"You don't believe me?"
He scoffed under his breath as he looked out the window. "Of course I don't."
"Why is it so hard to believe that you're missed?"
"Because I doubt anyone does."
She smiled, joking. "Frank misses you…"
At that, Luka laughed again. "I bet he does. I guess now you'll say Romano misses me?"
"Hey, he might!" She laughed along with him before smiling. "No, but really, people miss you. Jing-Mei, Pratt, Susan, maybe even Gallant…" She stayed silent for a moment before smiling slightly wider. "I miss you…"
He turned to her, unsure if she was joking or not, but after a while he smiled. He would have said something else, but he wasn't sure in what sense she had said it. "I'll be back soon."
"Do you know when?"
"Probably the 30th of October; Kerry says that, even if County needs doctors, she'd rather me getting better completely." Chuckling lightly, he looked out the window. "I don't think that she wants me to suddenly get sick again and just collapse, or something…"
At the mere thought, Abby felt how her stomach clenched and tightened. The image of him on the gurney as they wheeled him to the elevator suddenly flashed in her mind. How could he joke about it? How was that funny?
Because of the silence that followed, Luka turned to her; waiting for her to say something or laugh. Silence was the only thing that was heard, though, and Luka frowned slightly in confusion and concern.
"Abby?"
"What?"
"Are you o-"
"That wasn't funny, Luka."
"… What wasn't?"
"What you had said; about you collapsing and getting sick."
Frowning, Abby turned to her completely. "Abby, I was kidding… It was a joke. Ha ha…?"
"Well it wasn't funny."
He stayed silent, confused, but a sudden thought crossed his mind. If the case were to be reversed, he wouldn't have liked the comment either. Just the thought made his heart clench. He was going to apologize, but she parked in front of his building. "I'm sorry." Smiling slightly, he turned to her again. "I haven't joked around in years; I didn't realize I said what I said. I didn't mean it."
"It's just…" She turned to him, wanting to tell him that she had been worried. That she had been terrified about him having malaria. Hell, she still was terrified that paramedics would rush him in because the malaria had suddenly surfaced again; because the antibiotics hadn't worked. She was well aware that she was being paranoid, but she couldn't help it.
Luka nodded, silently telling her that he understood. "I know. But I'm ok; I'm better. Just keep that in mind, ok?"
Smiling, Abby nodded slightly. "Ok."
"So when do you start as a med student?"
"Oh, when the next rotation starts." Grinning, she nodded. "I can't wait."
Luka grinned back and patted her hand, leaning slightly to her. "After your first rotation, we'll go and celebrate again, ok?" Grinning again, he got his coat from the back seat. "I'll even help you study if you want to. I don't want to brag, but I was a very good student in med school."
At that, Abby couldn't help but laugh. "Really. Are you sure you haven't forgotten a few things?"
Acting offended, even if he wasn't, he turned to her. "I'm not that that old." Laughing, he grinned again. "I'll just teach you everything in Croatian."
Laughing, she just shook her head. "Yeah, as if medical terms aren't complicated enough."
Luka laughed at that and shook his head. Even if he didn't want to end the evening, he knew that he had to go home so she could go home too and sleep. "Well, thank you for the ride and for the evening, but I think you should go and get some sleep."
Abby smiled at him and nodded slightly. "Thank you for dinner and for celebrating this with me. It meant a lot."
Smiling back, Luka shrugged slightly. "Anytime." Leaning to her, he kissed her cheek before smiling wider. "Good night. Sweet dreams, Dr. Lockhart."
Abby couldn't help but laugh lightly at that but grinned. "Good night, Dr. Kovac."
He grinned once more, probably for the millionth time that night "Thanks for the ride again. Good night." Smiling, he waved at her again and closed the door.
Abby watched him go, a small unknowingly spreading on her lips. "Good night, Luka," she said; mostly to herself, before she started to drive away.
^_^ Thanks to Noa for the idea; this goes out to all the Lubies. And thanks to Marie for 'proof-reading' too. ^_^
- - - - - - -
It had been a few hours since Luka had drifted off into a light sleep. Despite the rest that he got at night, his body seemed to demand more than usual to make up for the energy the malaria had consumed. He'd do all possible to not miss any meals, go to bed early, get exercise, but even with that he felt tired. Exhausted at times, even. But all he needed was time, and soon enough he would be fine and would go back to work.
The sudden ringing of the telephone suddenly filled the apartment, its noise echoing through it, but no matter how loud the phone was, Luka didn't hear it ring, nor the answering machine coming on.
"Just leave a message, I'll get back to you."
As Abby heard Luka's voice in the answering machine, she couldn't help but smile as she remembered the day that he had recorded that message; he had had it since they were going out. She had even been with him as he recorded it. . . That day, they had spent the whole afternoon trying to figure out how to just record a message and then, at the end of the night, Luka had been able to finally record something that wasn't laughter; each time they would realize the machine was recording, it had been too late and the only thing they had done was burst into laughter.
Snapping out of her thoughts, Abby waited for a few seconds to see if Luka would actually answer the phone but, when he didn't, she sighed mentally. "Um, hey Luka. I was just- I needed to talk to you about something, but I can just call y-"
"Hello? Abby?"
Luka had woken up as he heard her voice and, as he realized she was leaving a message, he immediately got out of bed and hurried to grab the phone quickly to answer it. Now as he stood next to the little side table where the phone was, he suddenly felt dizzy because of how fast he had gotten up. Putting a hand over his forehead to try to put an end to the dizziness, he leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. "Sorry, I. . .didn't hear the phone."
"Hey Luka." She smiled slightly when she heard how groggy his voice sounded; he had obviously been asleep and had just woken up. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
All the excitement that she had been feeling diminished slightly as she realized that she had woken him up. His strength wasn't back to normal yet, so he obviously needed all the rest he could get. Part of her, for the past few weeks, had been wanting to check on him constantly. Now that Gillian was gone he could forget to take his pills, or maybe had missed a meal, or not get enough rest. Constantly, she'd try to reassure herself by saying he was ok and she was worrying for nothing, but she just couldn't help it. She had gone out with him for a year, was friends with him now… Of course she'd worry about him.
It was normal, right?
Luka, on the other side of the line, tried to stifle back a yawn as he rubbed his eyes lazily. "Um, no, I… I was watching TV; something really boring."
"How are you doing?"
Luka smiled, sitting down on the couch. "Good. Better, thanks. Is Romano still giving you a hard time with that situation with the nurses' suspension?"
Laughing lightly, Abby nodded slightly. That was the last thing in her mind at the moment, though. . . "Yeah, but it's. . .getting better." She smiled when he chuckled and, smiling slightly wider; she leaned against the back of her couch as she went through a few papers. "Hey, Luka? Do you have any plans for tonight?"
Grinning, Luka shook his head. He knew very well it wasn't a date-they were both pretty much clear on that. For the past couple of days they had been eating lunch together, or going for walks by the river, and, basically, they were just having a good time. As friends. With everything they had both gone through and with his experience in Africa and with Gillian, he didn't exactly know where his feelings towards Abby stood anymore. They were both just enjoying a friendship they hadn't developed much while being together, and now. . . Now he was loving it.
"Nope, no plans." Chuckling, he reached for the TV controller and started to go through the channels to see what he could watch. "Why? Are you going to invite me somewhere?"
Abby laughed lightly and couldn't keep down the grin that started to spread across her lips. For the last couple of days Gordana's words about how Luka used to be playful and funny had started to ring in her head: now she was seeing a Luka she had never seen before and it was. . .refreshing. "Actually, yes. I don't have a shift tonight for the first time in weeks, and I have something I want to celebrate."
Grinning once more, Luka nodded. "Ok. What are we celebrating?"
"Nuh-uh, I'm not telling you through the phone. I'll see you at seven?"
Luka laughed. "Yeah, that's fine. So where are we going? Because I need to know how I should be dressed, you know."
Now it was Abby's turn to laugh. "I was thinking that Thai place we went to once; the one that was by that hotel you used to live in."
"Ok, I'll be there. Seven?"
"Yup."
Nodding, Luka grinned. "I'll see you then."
- - - - -
Luka walked inside the restaurant as he dug his hands in the pockets of his coat. Lately, at night, the wind seemed to be getting colder, and tonight was colder than other nights. Knowing that the Thai restaurant wasn't all that formal, if not at all, he had just put on a pair of jeans, a black sweater, and his coat. Not fancy, but he still wanted to look nice. He had spent too many days looking sick; now he wanted to improve how he looked. After his conversation with Abby on the phone, he had gone to cut his hair and then, after his shower, he shaved. It was weird not to have those usual strands of hair falling over his forehead, but it was time for a change.
At least for a few days.
Abby had been going through the appetizer menu, unsure what Luka would want. Even if she didn't have that much money left to spend, she really wanted to go all out and celebrate this new phase in her life. She wanted to finally be able to start it and, after tonight, she would.
After tonight she would be finally set: She was taking control of her life.
She wasn't going to settle for little things anymore; she wasn't going to just stand in the sidelines. Even if it had taken her years to realize it, she was glad she did realize it.
Finally…
When she looked up, she saw Luka looking around for her. Immediately, she saw the difference in appearance and she couldn't help but smile; glad that he felt, and obviously looked, a lot better. Tucking back a strand of hair behind her ear, she waited for him to turn to her, which would be soon. And, soon enough, Luka turned towards her direction and grinned when he waved at her.
Walking to her table, Luka felt the way his heart seemed to have made a leap inside his chest. Despite the words that he had spat at her when they had broken up, her beauty always made his heart happy: and tonight she seemed even more beautiful than usual. Something made her smile look more genuine; relaxed and…happy.
"Hey," she said with a grin as she leaned back on her chair. "I thought you wouldn't see me sitting here."
Chuckling, Luka took off his coat before sitting. "I was starting to think that you were hiding from me." Grinning, he stared at her for a short while before he started talking without thinking. "You look very beautiful tonight, Abby."
He didn't realize what he had said until he saw the look of surprise on her face. Kicking himself mentally, his grin minimized slowly. He regretted saying those words immediately as he feared that those words had made her uncomfortable; but she did look beautiful. It was the truth… She seemed tired from working too hard but, to him, she looked absolutely beautiful.
Abby had been grinning at him, but when he said that, her surprise couldn't be hidden; unsure what to feel. Part of her told her to ignore it, that he probably didn't mean it, but another part-the bigger part-was happy he had said it. And she believed it, too. Just the way that he had said it, and the way that he had been staring at her made her feel…special. Happy, more happy. It even made her feel beautiful.
Not noticing that he was about to apologize for what he had said, Abby smiled widely. "Thank you. You look pretty nice yourself." She grinned and nodded slightly towards his hair. "I like the new hair cut."
Luka laughed lightly, mostly in relief that he hadn't offended her or made everything awkward. He was just glad that he hadn't ruined anything again. "Why, thank you. Have you ordered anything?"
"Nah, I was waiting for you." Looking around, Abby smiled at the semi-familiar surroundings of the restaurants. It had been years since she had been there, and now that she was back, she was glad that they had gone there to celebrate. It felt right…
"Abby?"
She turned to him, slightly startled; unaware that she had been zoning out. "Yeah?"
"Are you going to tell me what we're going to be celebrating?"
Abby grinned at that. "I'm going to wait a bit before I tell you."
"Oh, come on…!" Luka chuckled when he heard her life, even if he had tried to stay serious so she'd just tell him. "Why don't you just tell me now?"
"Ah, maybe I like the suspense…?" At Luka's anxious face expression, she laughed once more. "You'll find out, Luka. I promise."
~ ~ ~ ~
"Are you going to tell me now?"
"Nope."
Luka stayed silent, taking another bite of his dessert, before turning his eyes towards her as he kept his head down towards his meal. "… Now?"
Laughing, she finally turned to him. "Jeez, Luka, I shouldn't have told you I was going to tell you something!"
"Yeah, but you did, and you've had me in the dark about it throughout the whole meal. We're almost going to finish dessert, so… What is it?"
'He's right,' she thought. 'I've been putting it off long enough.'
Abby didn't know why she wanted to wait. Maybe it was because how much it meant that she was changing? But change was all that she wanted… Was she afraid of change? … Well, of course she was; she had been putting everything off for years now. But now her life was making a full turn; it was for the better. She wasn't going to settle for anything. Not anymore.
Taking a breath, she put down her soon and leaned back on her chair. "Well, for the past few weeks I've been thinking about what we mentioned when you were in the hospital. How I was due for a change, remember? Well, I was tired of how my life was. How I felt every day, so I decided to do something. Something for me; not for Maggie, not for Eric, not for…anyone."
Luka nodded in understanding. He had put his spoon down, giving her his full attention but, now that she stopped talking, he waited for her to talk again. When she didn't, he leaned slightly to her. "What did you decide to do, then?"
"I…" Abby grinned, sitting up straight. "I'm going back to med school."
At first, he had been extremely surprised at her decision-mainly because of the many times she mentioned that she liked to be a nurse. As the surprise minimized, he grinned widely at her. "Abby, congratulations! Is this what you were being so secretive about that other time?"
Nodding, Abby grinned widely back. "Yep. I didn't want to get ahead of myself, I wanted to see if I could do it first."
"Well, of course you could!" Luka grinned. "I'm very happy for you, Abby." As the surprise minimized even more and he started to think things out, his grin minimized slightly; confused. "Where did you get the money from? Is that why you needed all those extra shifts?"
"That's why I need the extra shifts, yeah. But I don't mind it, though; I got what I needed."
He knew, though, that med school required more money than the over-time she could have gotten in a couple of weeks, so he frowned slightly. "How did you get it…?"
"The…extra shifts?"
"No, the money."
"With a few loans, some money I had saved… And… I kind of talked to Richard."
Luka stayed silent for a short moment. "Your ex-husband?"
Smiling slightly, Abby nodded. "Yeah."
"How come you didn't ask me? I could have helped, Abby."
She sighed mentally at that, now realizing why she had been putting it off. Nodding, she leaned back again. "I know, but you need the money too."
"For what? I don't owe anything. I don't have to pay for anything."
"And your car? You have to get it fixed, or get a new one. You have to pay hospital bills, you haven't worked in months… Besides, he still had to pay for my tuition, remember? That had been the only thing I had asked him for when we got divorced."
Luka shook his head. "Abby-"
"Luka, please… I'm really excited about all this; I want to go back to med school." Unconsciously, she reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. "I know you wanted to help, and I thank you for wanting to help me, but it's done… I just want to go back to med school. I thought you'd be happy for me."
He stared at her, silent. The whole fact that she had taken his hand caught him completely off-guard and had snapped him out of his over-protective mode. He stayed silent for a moment before squeezing her hand back gently and putting his free hand over hers. Smiling slightly, he nodded. "I am happy for you, Abby… I'm very happy for you. I already told you, many times; I just want to see you happy. And it seems like you are."
"But…?"
"But… I just wish you would have come to me if you needed money. I would do anything to help you."
Before, Abby would have taken her hand away from his and would have told him that he shouldn't things like that. That he shouldn't do another mistake. Now, though, she liked the feeling. She liked knowing that he wanted to help her. She liked the feeling of his hands holding hers. Once again, it felt right. Things were finally not awkward anymore; just right. Grinning slightly, she nodded and squeezed his hand again. "I know that, Luka."
"So next time you need help you'll ask me?"
Smiling, she leaned slightly closer to him, talking in a low voice. "Will that make you feel better?"
Luka tried not to smile to show her that he was serious about the conversation, but when he saw her smile, a small smile appeared on his own lips. Leaning closer to her, he said in an even lower voice, "Maybe."
Abby laughed lightly at that before grinning. "Ok."
"Promise?"
"Luka…"
"Abby, it's just that I don't want that jackass to do something to you again; you saw what happened last time. I don't want him to use this to hurt you. Promise…?"
Letting out a sigh of mock annoyance, Abby nodded. "Ok, ok, I promise." Smiling, she squeezed his hand again.
He smiled and, just as he was about to say something else to her, the waiter passed by their table again.
"Would you like something else, sir?"
"Yeah, a couple more desserts and more coffee." When the waiter left, Luka turned to her and laughed at her surprised expression. "What?"
"More dessert?"
"Well we have to celebrate! Pretty soon I'll be working with Dr. Abby Lockhart." As she grinned after laughing, Luka smiled back. "It has a nice ring to it, huh?"
- - - - - - -
"You didn't have to pay for dinner, you know." Abby looked up at him as they walked to her car. Luka had insisted on him paying for dinner and hadn't even let her pay for her part of the meal. "I was the one that invited you for dinner."
"But what kind of gentleman would I have been if I hadn't paid? Besides, we're celebrating your accomplishment; so I wanted to pay."
Joking, Abby grinned up at him. "Huh… I should have picked some other place to eat. Something…fancy."
Laughing, Luka turned to her. "Then I would have let you pay." Laughing along with her, he walked her to her car.
Smiling, Abby leaned against the car. She had noticed how much better he looked, but now that she was much closer to him instead of just sitting with him across the table from him in a restaurant, she was now able to smell his aftershave. She could feel the way something in her stomach seemed to flutter. She had always loved that scent, but something inside her told her it wasn't just his scent that was making her stomach flutter. It had been there the whole evening they had spent together. It had been there since before he had left to the Congo… And now with this; with their conversations, their laughs…
Now she knew that it was him who was making her feel that way; but now she just didn't know if it was too late.
'One thing at a time, Abby,' she told herself.
Luka closed up her coat for her as he smiled. "Do you have a shift tomorrow?"
"Yeah, at six." Seeing that he was starting to get tired, she couldn't help but laugh lightly.
At the laugh, Luka turned to her with slightly wide eyes; confused. "What's so funny?"
Laughing lightly again, Abby shook her head. "Nothing. Why don't you get in and I'll give you a ride home."
Luka smiled but shook his head. "You don't have to do that, I'll just walk. It's not that far from here; besides, you should go home and sleep. You look really tired."
"You do too… Come on, Luka, just get in the car."
"You sure?"
Grinning, Abby nodded and unlocked the doors. "Yes, I'm sure."
Giving in, Luka smiled and went to the passenger's side; buckling up once he got in. "I need to get a car."
Starting to drive, she smiled. "Told you. Just don't get another race car; now I might not be around the ER to go out to the ambulance bay to save you from a speeding ticket."
He shook his head, laughing lightly. "So how has work been? I need to be well caught up for when I go back."
Abby turned to him for a short moment before turning back to the road, smiling. "Nothing has really changed since what I told you last. I've told you all the 'good stuff.' Everything else is just…every day stuff." Smiling, she turned to him again before back at the road. "You've been missed, though."
At that, Luka laughed. "Yeah, right Abby."
"You don't believe me?"
He scoffed under his breath as he looked out the window. "Of course I don't."
"Why is it so hard to believe that you're missed?"
"Because I doubt anyone does."
She smiled, joking. "Frank misses you…"
At that, Luka laughed again. "I bet he does. I guess now you'll say Romano misses me?"
"Hey, he might!" She laughed along with him before smiling. "No, but really, people miss you. Jing-Mei, Pratt, Susan, maybe even Gallant…" She stayed silent for a moment before smiling slightly wider. "I miss you…"
He turned to her, unsure if she was joking or not, but after a while he smiled. He would have said something else, but he wasn't sure in what sense she had said it. "I'll be back soon."
"Do you know when?"
"Probably the 30th of October; Kerry says that, even if County needs doctors, she'd rather me getting better completely." Chuckling lightly, he looked out the window. "I don't think that she wants me to suddenly get sick again and just collapse, or something…"
At the mere thought, Abby felt how her stomach clenched and tightened. The image of him on the gurney as they wheeled him to the elevator suddenly flashed in her mind. How could he joke about it? How was that funny?
Because of the silence that followed, Luka turned to her; waiting for her to say something or laugh. Silence was the only thing that was heard, though, and Luka frowned slightly in confusion and concern.
"Abby?"
"What?"
"Are you o-"
"That wasn't funny, Luka."
"… What wasn't?"
"What you had said; about you collapsing and getting sick."
Frowning, Abby turned to her completely. "Abby, I was kidding… It was a joke. Ha ha…?"
"Well it wasn't funny."
He stayed silent, confused, but a sudden thought crossed his mind. If the case were to be reversed, he wouldn't have liked the comment either. Just the thought made his heart clench. He was going to apologize, but she parked in front of his building. "I'm sorry." Smiling slightly, he turned to her again. "I haven't joked around in years; I didn't realize I said what I said. I didn't mean it."
"It's just…" She turned to him, wanting to tell him that she had been worried. That she had been terrified about him having malaria. Hell, she still was terrified that paramedics would rush him in because the malaria had suddenly surfaced again; because the antibiotics hadn't worked. She was well aware that she was being paranoid, but she couldn't help it.
Luka nodded, silently telling her that he understood. "I know. But I'm ok; I'm better. Just keep that in mind, ok?"
Smiling, Abby nodded slightly. "Ok."
"So when do you start as a med student?"
"Oh, when the next rotation starts." Grinning, she nodded. "I can't wait."
Luka grinned back and patted her hand, leaning slightly to her. "After your first rotation, we'll go and celebrate again, ok?" Grinning again, he got his coat from the back seat. "I'll even help you study if you want to. I don't want to brag, but I was a very good student in med school."
At that, Abby couldn't help but laugh. "Really. Are you sure you haven't forgotten a few things?"
Acting offended, even if he wasn't, he turned to her. "I'm not that that old." Laughing, he grinned again. "I'll just teach you everything in Croatian."
Laughing, she just shook her head. "Yeah, as if medical terms aren't complicated enough."
Luka laughed at that and shook his head. Even if he didn't want to end the evening, he knew that he had to go home so she could go home too and sleep. "Well, thank you for the ride and for the evening, but I think you should go and get some sleep."
Abby smiled at him and nodded slightly. "Thank you for dinner and for celebrating this with me. It meant a lot."
Smiling back, Luka shrugged slightly. "Anytime." Leaning to her, he kissed her cheek before smiling wider. "Good night. Sweet dreams, Dr. Lockhart."
Abby couldn't help but laugh lightly at that but grinned. "Good night, Dr. Kovac."
He grinned once more, probably for the millionth time that night "Thanks for the ride again. Good night." Smiling, he waved at her again and closed the door.
Abby watched him go, a small unknowingly spreading on her lips. "Good night, Luka," she said; mostly to herself, before she started to drive away.