Guren has been contemplating about proposing to Ferid but he's afraid of being rejected. And so he kept on putting it off. He could never understand what the guy was thinking, so in times like this he always have difficulties in deciding what to do. Both of them have been going out for some time now and they're already living together. All that's left is him actually proposing to the guy but he can't bring himself to. Whenever they eat dinner—this is the only time when they are actually together on weekdays because of work—he tries to muster up the courage to tell him. But the words would always get stuck in his throat. He would stutter and his eyes would roll at his pathetic self. Ferid of course would remain quiet, his crimson eyes focused on nothing but his food. His lover always had this habit of being immersed in his own world whenever he eats.
Ferid was not really the quiet type and more often that not he always ends up bringing attention to himself with the words that he would utter and the way he would handle himself in the presence of others. The contrast between his table manners and his manner in dealing with people was so stark that it was quite endearing. Guren liked looking at him whenever he's like this, he looks so peaceful and so entirely his that it makes him fall in love with him all over again.
Guren didn't realise that Ferid was looking at him. His thoughts were interrupted when Ferid called his name.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Ferid said, his eyes squinting and a teasing smile playing on his thin moist lips.
Guren would always lose himself whenever he ends up looking at Ferid's mouth. And automatically he would look away completely ashamed of himself for always thinking of wanting to kiss him even though they are already in this kind of relationship so he doesn't need to be shy. But of course, he would play it cooly.
"Guren?" Ferid purred, propping his tilted head on the palm of his hand looking at Guren doe-eyed, intentionally fluttering his eyelids.
Ferid likes to do this when he knows Guren is hiding something from him. Most of the time it would work, but the matter at hand was so serious and was actually so disconcerting to Guren to just blurt out without thinking. Marriage was a difficult thing to discuss, regardless of the kind of relationship.
Guren didn't say anything, the only thing that was making the silence more oppressive was the weight of the classical music drifting in the air. Ferid waited for him to speak, his fingers tapping on the table. Every strike of his polished nail against the wood was a note. It came in brief successions like a staccato, a syncopation with respect to Guren's heartbeat. The strings wailed, screamed at the top of their lungs rising into a fortissimo, the highlight of the piece. It accompanied Guren's rising anxiety and worry. It was like those dramatic background sounds when a film is trying to convey the pathetic state of emotions of the main character. And then a hold. The silence in the pause was heavy. Will he say it or not?
Ferid fluttered his lashes and leaned in close to Guren with the grace of a feline. The tapping stopped, he clenched his hand and Mozart's Romanze started playing next. He smiled playfully, crows feet at the corners of his eyes and rose to kiss Guren on the cheek. His rose bud lips puckered ready to plant a kiss or two to his boyfriend's pale cheeks. He left a kiss with a smack and went back to his seat.
"Do you want to go out with me some time next week?"
Guren knows really well how impulsive Ferid can be. This sudden invitation was not something new. But he was thankful that Ferid didn't press him to tell him what he's thinking.
"You don't have work? You told me last time you'll be very busy the following weeks."
Ferid shrugs.
"I don't care. The schedule is pissing me off and I always end up being sore after all those photoshoots. I think if this keeps up I'm going to end up jumping off a cliff. So what do you say?"
"Whatever you say."
Ferid chuckled.
"But don't you think you're just spoiling me too much Guren? The others' say so."
"They don't know how relentless you are so their opinions doesn't count."
"But Crowley…"
"His opinion doesn't count too. You know how he's always got your back just because he finds it amusing how you mess things up." Guren said begrudgingly. His jealousy over Crowley was something he could never hide.
Ferid smiled at this and giggled.
"Really now."
Both of them decided to go out next week. The final date would be decided by Ferid of course. But knowing him, he knows the guy would end up just calling out of nowhere and telling him to go to this and that place. He was impulsive like that. But, Guren was still uneasy. He still failed to tell him something very important. In addition to this problem, the truth is, Guren doesn't really know how to propose to someone. Would that be more difficult than actually asking someone like Ferid out? Or was it just all about momentum or something? Guren was confused and so he sought advice from his other co-workers. In general, they encouraged him to prepare a lavish proposal that made him cringe. Shinya urged him to buy a ring for his lover, he said that Guren should pick something nice and simple, no need to buy a very expensive wedding ring. Shinya's brother Kureto only smirked and told him "Good luck" in a sarcastic manner. He hated that guy with a passion but surprisingly, he offered a very good advice after being a jerk.
"Well, I think you should just take him to a romantic place and propose to him there." Kureto said nonchalantly ignoring the surprised faces his workmates were making. They couldn't believe the word romantic came from Kureto's mouth. Guren most of all, was taken aback, he couldn't believe the bastard Kureto could think of such a thing. He didn't even expect him to give a proper advice.
"Or you could just say it to him while you're doing it or something." Seishiro interjected with his usual lazy voice while chewing gum.
"Seishiro.." Shinya said embarrassed at his brother's words.
Seishiro clicked his tongue and mumbled something.
"Guren, I think Kureto nii-san's right, out of all the ideas we gave you, I think his is more practicable. Just bring Ferid out on a romantic date or something, give him a ring and ask him if you can have him for life."
Guren blushed scarlet again. He wasn't comfortable about this "all to myself", "have you for eternity" crap that his other co-workers suggested him. But he thought Shinya was right. He should just probably buy Ferid a ring and ask him to marry him. But the problem was, does the guy even want to settle down? Getting him to live with him had not been an easy task although in the end, the guy finally relented for whatever reason. And to think he was completely opposed to it at first.
Ferid was strolling in the shopping district to shop, sporting something that would not give his identity away. He wore big sunglasses and his hair pulled in a bun so that they wouldn't know who he was. He successfully slipped out of his photoshoot and was now able to have some alone time. He knows that his manager would probably be angry with him, but this was just normal.
His phone rang and of course when he looked at the screen of his smart phone, it was none other than his manager. He was always fast when it comes to Ferid's disappearances. Ferid only looked remotely interested at his phone and tucked it inside his pocket. The silver-haired man eyed the establishments and went to a jewelry shop. He wanted to buy something for Guren, it has been awhile since both of them went out on a date because of their busy schedules.
He caught himself smiling at the thought of his lover. At first the other's were just teasing them about how Guren always looks at him with those mean eyes of his, and he had never been interested in the former much much later when he realised how he was always looking at him from afar not being able to speak to him—he actually found this adorable. Their eyes would meet often and he would feel embarrassed from the attention he was getting from the guy, knowing himself, it was surprising that he could ever feel this way just by the feel of a gaze behind his back.
Both of them ended up together one night, terribly drunk and too horny to keep their hands off of each other. So that was the start of their relationship. After that Guren asked him out. He could still remember the look on his lover's face when he confessed and it never fails to make him smile. Then, as if he couldn't have enough with them just being lovers and going out, he finally asked him to live with him. At first he didn't like the idea of living with him, or living with anyone for that matter. But in the end, because at that time they have already being going out for more than the year requirement for a relationship, he just went along with it. He always likes to think that he just went along with Guren's plans, but really, even though he was like that, he really likes being with Guren and even though he doesn't want to admit it even to himself, he could not imagine being with any one else other than him.
Ferid knows how hard it was to be with someone like himself. He always thought that he would just end up destroying every single relationship that he would have but for some reason, this time lasted longer than he had expected. Actually it was the longest relationship he had ever had in his entire life. And for someone who was so used to people leaving him, this was something that was unnerving. He had always been afraid that sooner or later just like his other relationships he would end up destroying this. One thing that was different about his relationship with Guren with his past ones was the fact that the guy just simply adores him. The thought really sometimes creeps him out but really it was the truth, Guren just simply adores him.
He realises that it has always been Guren that's keeping their relationship alive and the guy has always been the one who's always looking out for him no matter what the other says. A thought came to mind, what if he would be the one to push their relationship into another level? What if, what if he would propose to Guren and ask if they could finally settle down together? He knows this probably would surprise Guren especially coming from himself, but because marriage has become such a trend lately, it was difficult not to think about it. And since they are almost at that age already, from time to time, he would be asked questions of the sort and he couldn't help but feel embarrassed. He always plays it off really well though so no one realises how it makes him feel to be so entirely conscious of the fact of finally be possessed by someone for the rest of his life.
Ferid decided to buy Guren a ring. He thought it was right that this time around he would be the one to propose to him. It was just proper since he knows very well how Guren must feel just thinking about proposing, and he believes that Guren would never do that because he's afraid that Ferid would decline. If he was the same person three years ago, of course he would definitely reject such an offer, but now since Guren has given him so much already it would be nice if Ferid would be the one to ask him about something of this sort this time around.
Ferid eyed the jewelries before him and contemplated about what kind of ring he would give to Guren. He wasn't really a thoughtful person. This is the first time he's going to buy something for Guren and he was feeling a mixed of emotions. He was excited and at the same time anxious. He didn't know what kind of ring to choose. Ferid was fidgeting and his heart was close to bursting when his phone rang.
Guren decides a romantic evening for his proposal. They've been preparing for it for the past weeks and yes he dragged everyone to help him prepare. So the day finally came when everything is ready to set off. He was very eager because he said that it was now or never, if he can't propose to Ferid, he will never have the opportunity again. Kureto regretted suggesting a romantic date for the love birds. Shinya was amused and was eager to participate. The others were very supportive too. Seishiro didn't mind joining in, as long as Guren would repay him. Norito was secretly happy because finally the girls would stop going after Guren. The girls: Mito, Sayuri and Shigure were very happy for him. He's been brainstorming about proposing to Ferid for a while now and preparing for it.
Unexpectedly, Crowley was dragged into the final preparations. Shinya asked him to come. Guren was hesitant because he didn't like Crowley. As Shinya and the red head was talking he was glaring at their direction. Shinya noticed this and chuckled.
"Ichinose, what do you think your doing?" Kureto reprimands as he sees Guren throwing daggers at Crowley and Shinya.
"Rather than glaring at them, you should be practicing this thing. You wouldn't want your darling Ferid to be disappointed won't you?"
Guren didn't like the thought of Crowley contributing to the preparations, but Shinya insisted so he had no choice.
Ferid walks the isles of the garden slowly, his steps crisp but light against the cement. Guren just called him to meet at this elegant restaurant that was popular for couples. He waits for him at a lamp post inside the restaurant near a mini stage where there was something projected. He didn't mind at first but after awhile he hears the strumming of the ukulele and a familiar voice singing an old but familiar music.
"Wise men say, only fools rush in.
but I can't help, falling in love with you."
Ferid beams. There was no doubt this was Guren trying to sing Can't help falling in love. He looks around searching for Guren. And walks towards the stage thinking that maybe his lover was there. He was excited. Ferid was the type who really loves the thrill of surprises and he was glad that this date with Guren was exciting.
Ferid heaves in and is flustered when he sees what was projected on the monitor. Pictures of him were being flashed on screen, a bunch was from his photoshoots but it was taken definitely by some amateur photographer. Ferid swallowed a lump on his throat and looked around for his lover.
"Guren! Show yourself."
There was no response, the song kept playing and the pictures continued on screen. Pictures of him doing random things flashed on screen. These were pictures he has never seen in his life. He looked at them with unhidden affection and felt happy. The kind of happiness that was new to him, it was a rush like no other and he wanted to embrace Guren and kiss him. He felt blessed.
Most of the pictures were intimate. There were pictures of him sleeping, cuddled against his pillow his hair in a mess, a picture of him half naked on the bed his back to the camera. Another when he was wearing his glasses, his hair tied up and his nose deep in a book, a picture of him wearing Guren's oversized shirt, his hair all over the place and he was rubbing his eyes, he probably just woke up too. This all made him feel fluffy inside, for Guren to be taking these pictures and keeping quiet about it made him feel loved. These were probably his treasures, these were probably the things he looks at whenever the two of them won't speak or meet for days because of work.
"Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be,,"
The lights turned on in succession, lighting up the path that was not noticeable earlier. He saw familiar figures, Kureto, Seishiro, Shinya, Norito and the others. And Ferid was confused. But at the back of his mind he knew what was up.
He heard the voice coming closer, the sound was real, and it was obvious that someone was singing. When he turned his head to check, he saw Guren sauntering towards him, wearing a nice coat and tie. A lapel was pinned on his coat. He was playing the ukulele, strumming it and changing chords as it fit the tune of the song. He looked so dashing against the lights, his hair slick and drawn back. Guren smiled at him and continued singing, strumming the ukulele and serenading Ferid. His eyes were solely focused on Ferid, his eyes full of love and affection. It was like everything faded into the background and there were only the two of them there. When he was close enough to his lover, Shinya went close to take the ukulele from him.
Ferid smiled bashfully, he's brows furrowed in a way that made him looked like he was about to swoon from the feelings.
"Take my hand,
Take my whole life too."
Guren kneeled in front of Ferid and took out a tiny box from his pocket. He fumbled with it a bit. He heaved in and reached out his hand opening it and exposing the ring he bought. The crowd cheered for both of them. Guren sang the last lines of the song.
The others then sang with Guren in the Chorus:
"Coz I can't help falling in love with you.
Coz I can't help falling in love with you."
"Will you marry me?"
Ferid was silent for awhile. Guren was getting nervous as well as the others. Guren stood up and scratched the back of his head. He was embarrassed, he was expecting such a cruel rejection. He gritted his teeth and clench his hand.
"I know you..."
Guren was interrupted when he heard a rustling sound coming from where Ferid stood. He was surprised that Ferid went down on his knees and took out something in his pocket. He placed it near his heart and bowed his head. There was a gasp in the audience when he did this gesture.
"No, rather can I marry you Guren?"
Ferid raised his eyes and craned his neck to look at Guren's looming figure. He smiled sweetly, his face flustered and his eyes affectionate. He reached out his hand with the box opened, exposing a very expensive blue diamond ring.
"I love you darling. I love you very very much."
"Hey don't cry dummy!"
Guren took Ferid in his arms and embraced him. He caressed the small of his back and consoled him.
"Those who said that you don't deserve me should just die."
The others were surprised as well that the gossip from two years ago still haunted Ferid. When the public knew of their relationship, criticism started floating around it even affected both of their acting careers. The fans were angry at Ferid calling him mean names, but that didn't stop them from sticking together.
Ferid buried his face streaked with tears on Guren's shoulder and grasped on him tightly.
"Shush darling. I love you. I love you very much. You're the only one for me. You don't need to worry about anything."
Guren showered kisses on Ferid. He kissed his forehead, the knuckles of his hand, his cheeks and the corners of his eyes.
"Stop crying."
Ferid wiped his face and smiled.
"Now then, answer me, will you marry me?"
"Of course Guren! Of course I will."