A short Loki drabble.
Nothing left to lose
"Look at me," he said, and I didn't. I just didn't want to, and, I mean, he couldn't force me, could he? I realised that he probably could. "Look at me," he said a little louder, but still not unfriendly. I wished he could simply be unfriendly, that would make everything so much easier.
"Why should I?" I said, still with my eyes fixed on the grey floor under our feet.
"Loki, please, stop acting like this," Thor said, while he laid his hand on my shoulder. I shook it away. He didn't understand – he would never understand.
"What do you want from me?" I asked, and now I decided to look at him, to stare right in his eyes. I hadn't seen him for such a long time – the person I once considered my brother.
"I want you to stop this." Earlier I would have convinced me. But not anymore. He couldn't tell me what to do.
"I can't, it's too late now." I smiled. I knew he liked Earth, I knew he wanted to defend it – and that made me even enjoy this more.
Thor looked at me in horror. "I haven't got the slightest clue about what happened to you, but please, be reasonable. Your plan isn't going to work, it's madness -"
"What made you think that I will listen to you?" I said angry. He couldn't just walk in and tell me I wasn't reasonable. Because I was.
"Loki, do you see what you are doing? Innocent people die here, only because you want to rule them."
"That's exactly what's happening, yes, make your point." I started to be impatient, I had more to do today.
Thor took a breath. The sun was burningly warm, but the skies had become greyer then before. "If you'll destroy the whole place, what will there be left to rule? Whoever you're working for, and I know you are working for someone, do you really think, that if he, she, or it, has the Tesseract, will spare Earth? Don't you think they'll want to conquer it, or destroy it, or whatever their plan is. Aren't you afraid they will kill you anyway?"
"No," I lied. Of course I thought of that, but for now, they needed me. They needed me to have the Tesseract, and… well – if they have it, they should keep their promise. That was the little bit of trust I had.
"You thought of it too, brother, whatever you say. You're a brilliant liar, but I know you."
"They need me," I answered, but I didn't know or I still believed that. No – I shouldn't listen to Thor. Of course he was trying to change my mind, but I wouldn't let him. Earth would be mine.
The skies became darker and darker, and I thought it would start to rain soon. Like the weather reflected my mood, perfectly.
Thor looked up at the sky, as if he knew what I was thinking. Then he shook his head. "No, I don't think they do. You are clever, you know they don't. You know they use you."
I bowed my head. Did I? Or was I just too stupid to see it? Didn't I want to see it?
"Why are you letting them use you?" Thor said seriously, and I realised he was winning. He always was.
"What have I left to lose?" I said rancorous. I wouldn't let him win, not this time. I just couldn't let him.
I watched Thor closely, and saw how he became more desperate by every single thing I said. "Your life?" he said hesitantly.
I laughed, quite sadly. "My life? Who cares, who would miss me? Most of the people around here would actually be happy."
Now Thor didn't seem to know what to say anymore. Nor did I. "I – I would miss you," he said, after a few long seconds.
"No, you won't," I replied.
"I think I can know that best myself," Thor proclaimed.
I closed my eyes. I mustn't concede to his attempts to convince me. "You don't know anything." The skies had nearly turned black by now, but I couldn't care less.
"Loki, please," Thor said, close to begging, but I didn't open my eyes anymore. I grabbed my scepter and held it a little firmer, and then disappeared – away from Thor, and away from anyone who would never understand it. No one would.