A/N: Inspired by a conversation that I had with the little girl I babysit and her mom in the car the other day.

Notes: This takes place at some point after all the war drama, and the Grimms have settled down. I've made Daphne and Red around 13-ish, Sabrina and Puck around 17/18, and Basil around 3. Yes, I know that Basil's age doesn't really add up, but I needed to make Sabrina/Puck old enough to drive, and Basil young enough to not comprehend Christmas just yet. This takes place in mid-December.

Disclaimer: I shalln't ownith thou Sisters Grimm

"We're going to the maaaaaalllllll!"

"Daphne, if you don't shut up right now, we're turning the car around and driving you all back home!"

"But we need to go to the mall!"

"We really don't."

"Relax! Both of you! Remember, there's a small child in the car!"

"Quiet, Puck!"

"Ahhh-Choo!"

"Bless you!"

"Ahh-Choo!"

"... Bless you again. Jeez, 'Brina. Did you catch a cold?"

"No, I always sneeze twice. I'm not really sure why."

"Yeah, my friend Amber does that. Sometimes I do it, but mostly I only sneeze once."

"But, sometimes... I sneeze."

"... Yes, Basil. Everyone sneezes sometimes."

"Ha, one time I snoze and-"

"No, Puck. I can already see this story is going to be gross. And what the heck is a 'snoze'?"

"... Sneeze in past tense?"

"No, I'm pretty sure that's sneezed... right?"

"I don't know. 'Sneezed' sounds kind of weird."

"You're right, Red. I'm not really sure which one is proper grammar..."

"Proper grammar can kiss my-"

"Puck! We have children in the car. Didn't you yell at me earlier for the same reason? Hypocrite!"

"The mall is far away..."

"Daphne, we've only been in the car for five minutes. We'll be there soon...ish."

"Who knows how to say 'mall' in Spanish?"

"... El Mall?"

"Daph, there hasn't been one sentence out of your mouth today that hasn't had the word 'Mall' in it."

"The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. There!"

"Wait... what fox? And what dog? What are you talking about?"

"See, Daph? You're confusing the children."

"I'm the same age as you."

"But you act much younger."

"Ohhh, burn!"

"Salted!"

"Burned!"

"Pretzeled!"

"... Okay, what the heck was that? And who wants to tell me how Basil knows what a 'burn' is?"

"Can you turn on the radio?"

"Only if you promise not to sing along."

"Hey! I know for a fact you love my singing voice, Grimm! As a matter of fact- hey, wait a second! If I'm the one driving, why am I asking you about it?"

"Because I'm the leaderly figure."

"Whatever. The radio is going on!"

"Tonight, tonight! There's a party on a rooftop top of the world! Tonight, tonight, and we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign!"

"I thought I said no singing!"

"Correction: you told Puck not to sing. Not anyone else."

"Ugh. We've only been in the car for ten minutes, but you make it feel like ten thousand."

"I don't know if I'll make it, but watch how good I'll fake it-"

"Argh!"

"Do they have bagels at the mall?"

"How the heck should I know?"

"You knew when there were bagels in Ferryport!"

"I'm not the bagel keeper! And what's up with you and bagels anyway?"

"They're yumtastic!"

"... I see we're still making up words, then."

"Of course. That was actually last week's. This week's is 'Fantasticabulous'!"

"I thought that was the week before's!"

"No, Red, that one was 'Vomitrocous'. I remember because Daphne told me several times that week to 'Stop thinking every food Granny makes is so vomitrocous!'. It was horrible."

"Hey, it's starting to rain!"

"How the heck is it starting to rain? It's December! It's supposed to snow!"

"IDEA!"

"... What Puck?"

"Wait, whoa. How did you two say that at the exact same time?"

"Magical sisterly powers. Now tell us!"

"The barrier should hold off storms, too! Then we'd never have to invest in umbrellas again!"

"... Umbrellas aren't exactly an investment, Puck."

"Yeah. And besides, that would run Uncle Joe's Umbrella Emporium out of business!"

"... Uncle Joe's what?"

"Uncle Joe's Umbrella Emporium! It's a store in the mall."

"... Of course it is."

"Um, guys? Anyone know where we are?"

"You tell us, Fairy Boy. You're the one driving."

"About that..."

"Oh, do not tell me you're lost, Puck!"

"Maybe..."

"I knew I should've driven!"

"I'm doing fine!"

"You ran the one stoplight in town. And you've gotten lost in Ferryport Landing. This town is about three miles big."

"Um, it's possible to get lost. Maybe we drove beyond Ferryport."

"Puck, half of the people in this car can't even bypass the barrier. We're still in Ferryport!"

"Oh, look, a cow."

"Where the heck are we?"

"Good news! I packed a GPS!"

"Fantastic, Daphne! Pass it up here!"

"Okay, I'll just type in the address... Does anyone know what the mall address is?"

"!"

"... Slower, Daphne. You're not on a game show."

"Four. Sixty. Six. Maple. Street. Ferryport. Landing. New. York."

"Not that slow, Daphne. But I got it anyways. Okay... here goes."

"What does it say to do first?"

"Nothing yet. It's calculating."

"So..."

"So."

"How's it going?"

"Really, Puck?"

"Turn left in 4.7 miles. Then turn right."

"... That didn't make any sense."

"CIVILIZATION!"

"Daphne, that's just a bird."

"A bird is civil!"

"... That's not what civilization means."

"Well, that is in my book!"

"Then your book is wrong!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa break it up! You two are fighting more than Sabrina and Puck!"

"..."

"..."

"See that man over there, Daphne?"

"Yeah...?"

"That is civilization!"

"Now, how is that civilization? A hobo is hardly civil!"

"How do you know that's a hobo? It could just be a man going out for a walk."

"With a grocery cart? I doubt it."

"... And there's Green Street, and Amber Way, and there's the mall! Right there! Drive faster, Puck! We need to make up for the time we've missed!"

"What time we've missed? The only reason we're here is so Basil can take a picture with Santa!"

"Well, that was the excuse..."

"Excuse? Don't tell me we drove for four and a half hours- even though the mall is only ten minutes away- just for you and Red to go shopping!"

"No, we wanted Basil to meet Santa, too. But of course, while we were at the mall, we figured we might as well do some Christmas shopping too!"

"..."

"..."

"Oh, and to get bagels!"

"We're here!"

"Finally! Get me out of this car!"

"Oh, good. Now, what did I do with that money... Red, do you have it?"

"Um, yeah, in my bag..."

"Can you guys have this conversation in the mall? I wanna get out of this car!"

"What's stopping you?"

"Puck needs to unlock the door!"

"Oh, sorry! Here."

"Thank. Goodness!"

"Well, someone's excited to be here..."

"I'm not excited to be here, just excited to be out of that dang car!"

"Um, guys?"

"Yes, Basil?"

"What's Santa Claus?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"This entire day has been pointless to me."

A/N: In case you're wondering, the one about sneezing is the one that actually happened... Well, not all of it. Only up to them pondering the proper grammar of the past tense of sneeze. I wouldn't have sworn in the presence of the little girl (or her mother).

Tell me what you think of this format (Just dialogue). Do you like it? I'm considering making another one of these, but I'm not sure. Tell me if you want another!

~S