Ok so, I wasn't like one of those girls that fell for him the moment I met him, hell I didn't even like him to begin with, well ok that lasted about fifteen minuets but I never meant to fall in love with him. I always dreamt when I was little I was going to fall in love and it would be perfect, he'd be my prince charming and sweep me off my feet, and we would love each other, but now I figure… dreams really don't come true, and I wasn't going to get my prince charming, and no one was going to sweep me off of my feet. And the person I was in love with was totally and completely not in love with me.
Why had I even come to this thing? He was off dancing with some stupid bimbo, why did he always go for the sluts, the ones that he was only going to get one thing out of then he'd move onto his next toy. So why was I in love with him? To be frank I don't know, it was just something about him. Maybe it was the way his hair would fall into his face when he was concentrating, or maybe the slight trace of that dimple he had when he smiled, or the way when he laughed his eyes would always light up. Or maybe it was just the fact, that he was who he was. Maybe I hadn't known him all that long, but I'd known him long enough to know that I wasn't ever going to love anyone as much as I loved him ever again.
It was probably stupid saying that I was in love, after all I was only seventeen what did I know about love? But when I was around him, nothing else seemed to matter, I couldn't think of anything to say, and those butterflies in my stomach were doing summersaults and star jumps all the time. Maybe I was wasting my time with him, but I didn't care. Everyone had told me it was obvious, a few of my friends had confronted me about it actually, but I refused to admit it.
When the song ended and he stopped dancing with that blonde bimbo of his she was hanging on his arm, and that trademark smirk of his rested on his lips. That was when I decided that I couldn't stay watching all of this anymore; he was walking over to James and Remus, with blondey on his arm. I stood up, cursing the fact that I was wearing a dress, who could wear dresses like this all the time? Let alone being in heals, sighing I walked through the crowds of people, my brown hair falling down from its elegant bun, but I didn't care anymore, the only person I'd wanted to impress wasn't interested. Brushing past him, I felt that usual but horrible tingly feeling run down my spine, I shook my head slightly when I was a few metres away and continued on my walk through the large crowds of people.
Eventually I reached the doors to the great hall; luckily they were open so I walked through un-noticed. I didn't know where I was going, but right now I didn't care, sure I may have been acting silly but I didn't care, I just wanted to be as far away from his smiles as possible. There were people in the entrance hall, chatting away happy as could be, so staying there was blown away. Then it hit me and the first smile of the night formed on my lips, the lake. I had always deeply loved the lake, it was somewhere where I felt at home, and when I watched the water all of my worries seemed to float away.
When I opened the large doors and slipped out into the cold December air, I forgot how cold it would be. I was only in a spaghetti strapped dress, so the cold did hit me pretty hard. But I didn't care; I didn't care about much right now. I ignored all the couples walking back into school, arms around each other. They all looked so in love, I was never going to have that.
It was strange, I had had boyfriends before, take Jamie that had gone on for nearly a whole year, yet I'd never felt like this about him. I groaned to myself in annoyance, why did I have to fall for him? Why did I have to be so desperately in love with him?
Reaching up, I pulled out the grips that held my hair up in its once elegant bun, my hair now hung a few inches below my shoulders in a soft curl. I wasn't going back in there, so what I looked like didn't matter.
When I eventually reached the lake, I lowered myself to the grass, luckily it was dry, which was odd for a winters evening. My dress was a black colour; it hugged my body tightly until it reached my waist where it fanned out, which was rather annoying but I loved it none the less, I never really wore dresses so it was strange being in one. Then again, I never really wore anything that showed I had any figure at all, so having something that hugged my body too tightly at the top was strange as well. What the hell had it all been for? Nothing.
Sitting on the ground I stared out at the lake for a while, my ice blue eyes reflecting the moonlight from the water. My mind started to wander again, and I didn't even realise someone approaching me from behind. I was absolutely freezing at this point, how clever of me to walk out into winter weather without some kind of jacket on that was just me all over. I wrapped my arms around myself in an attempt to keep warm, so maybe I'd catch pneumonia from being out here but I didn't care, didn't care about much anymore tonight did I?
"Paisley?" The voice brought me out of my daze, and a hand quickly came to my eyes to wipe away any trace of tears that had been there. That voice sounded horribly familiar, when I felt someone sit next to me, their shoulder brushing against mine I could have cried in frustration. The very person I had been avoiding was now sitting next to me. I wanted to ignore him, maybe he would just go back to the castle, however he showed no signs of moving, so hiding a small sigh I decided to answer him. "The one and only." I hadn't even noticed until then that my teeth were chattering. There was no sound from either of us for a second, and that was ok, because I could deal with silence, it was easy to block him out.
Then he started to move, and I got those mixed feelings like I always did. Was he leaving? If so, I would be so relieved that I didn't have to be on guard as to what the hell would slip out of my mouth. I was always quiet around him, and whatever I did say usually came out as a complete jumble of nonsense. However, I didn't want him to leave me, I felt so alone without his company, and feeling him sitting next to me was comforting, why was he here anyway?
However, thoughts of him going were soon squashed, when I felt something warm over my cold arms, and the scent that made me swoon so often in corridors filled my nose. I looked down to find his jacket was thrown over my shoulders, and he was now leaning back on his elbows looking up at the sky. This was odd. He usually said something witty, or said something, but no he was just sitting there staring at the sky. "Thank you." I muttered quietly, I contemplated on giving it back to him, but then I thought that would be rude…So I pulled it closer to my arms, seeking its warmth, maybe it would give me some kind of comfort being sat here in an awkward silence.
"Have you ever watched the stars Miss Thompson?" Ah there we go. I knew his voice was going to break the silence sooner or later, I sighed and turned to look at him, and found his grey eyes on me, that smile placed there. I shook my head and opened my mouth to say something. Only, my action was cut short by someone pulling me backwards. My back came into contact with a hard shoulder, my arm came back to support me, and I found it was pressed against his side. I felt that stupid little blush light my face, thank god the only light was the moon, and that was a half moon. However, the moon was particularly bright tonight; I just prayed he couldn't see it.
Before I had time to say anything, again I was cut off, by his arm in front of my face, then I realised he was pointing to something, I followed the direction of his finger all I met was a group of stars. "See that bright one?" They were all bright…They were stars… I turned to look at him, and found that his face was directly next to mine, his eyes looking straight at me. I gave a weak smile, and I was sure that if I had been standing up right then I would have been like jelly. "They're stars love, they're all bright." I replied, no sooner were the words out of my mouth, he started to move again.
He sat up straight, pushing me forwards lightly, and he moved behind me, oh great. I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks, I wasn't embarrassed, just highly worried that I was going to let something slip. "No. I mean the really bright one there…" His voice was directly next to my ear, so it didn't take a genius to work out that his head was right next to mine. I followed his point once more, and my eyes rested on a large shining star it stood out from all of the others, it looked special. I decided there and then it was my favourite.
"Ah yes, I like it. I think that I'll have to find a way to bring it down."I smiled; I was actually surprised I was having a somewhat normal conversation with him, the guy of my dreams. I sighed, but that's all he was ever going to be to me… a dream. I didn't want to move from this moment, my back against his warm chest, his arm pointing over my shoulder, and his head close to mine. I was happy right there, and nothing else mattered.
"It's the Star Sirius, and I think you'll find that it's already right next to you." His voice once again came from right by my ear, his breath made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and a smile formed on my lips; well that was a typical Sirius reply. Sirius Black, he was a man of so many different talents, and I was attracted to each and every one of them.
"Sure is…" I sighed quietly to myself, then I realised what I had said and wanted to burry myself in a hole and never come out again. I always had to ruin the moment, having a normal conversation, and I had to go and ruin it. It was pathetic, but then again maybe I was pathetic, not that I particularly minded right now.
Next thing I knew, he was moving again, but this time he was standing up, I turned to look at him, and found that he was offering his hand down to me, that classical smirk on his face. I raised an eyebrow slightly, but decided not to say anything, I slipped my hand into his, and he pulled me to my feet. The moment my hand touched his, I felt sparks shoot down my spine again, my mother had always told me that you knew when you were in love, when you touched someone's hand, and you just…knew. Maybe she had been right about some things…
"Dance with me?" I heard him say, I didn't really have much of a say in the matter his hand was still in mine, and his hand was making its way around my waist. I smiled slightly; there wasn't really any way in god's earth I was going to say no. "There isn't even any music Sirius…" I smiled, before he started moving as if he were listening to music, I wasn't much of a dancer, but with him, everything just seemed natural. It was like we were listening to our own music, and nothing around us was there.
For once, what was going on around me didn't matter, what I looked like didn't matter, what I was going to say didn't matter. What I was going to do tomorrow, where I was going after this, who could see us together, suddenly became irrelevant. All that mattered was that I was there, and in his arms, and damn it felt right. My eyes fluttered shut, and I felt his head rest on top of mine, I could have stayed there for ages, I wouldn't have cared.
It was a while before we stopped dancing to our own music, a good fifteen minuets actually. When we broke apart, I thought it was going to be awkward we were going to go back to that not knowing what to say stage again, but surprisingly, he had that smirk on his face. He stepped close to me once more, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. A hand came up to place a strand of hair behind my ear, we just seemed to look at each other, his hand still on the side of my face. He sighed and then opened his mouth to speak; I imagined all the words that could come out of his mouth; however the ones that did surprised me.
"Come to hogsmede with me next weekend? Hell, come to hogsmede with me every weekend, just be with me?" He actually looked worried, his hand entwining in my hair. I gave him a small smile, but my heart felt like it was in the clouds, and I was so happy I could have screamed. The one person I had been in love with for the past year was asking me to be with him. My hand met his, and I never wanted to let go, I didn't want to think of the hurt that falling in love with Sirius Black could do, I didn't care. "Alright then… Sounds like a plan." The smile on his face, made mine grow.
His hand slipped to behind my neck, and he pulled me closer to him, his other arm came around my waist, and my hand rested lightly on his arm, the other was lightly gripping his shirt. His face was centimetres from mine, his hair falling into his eyes. He moved closer, and then stopped as if hesitant, so while my eyes fluttered shut once more, I leant up pressing my lips against his.
My whole world seemed to light up in that one moment, I felt like I was walking on clouds, nothing could bring me down. And when I pulled away from that kiss, my heart was no longer mine; it was his, his to do what he wanted to. His lips were soft, just the way they looked, and the kiss was soft but it meant so much, it was filled with love.
The darkness that was growing outside of Hogwarts, the deaths and the torture, the danger we were all going to be in, in a few short months, didn't seem to matter anymore. All that mattered was that I was in his arms, and in his arms I was safe. I could take on anything, because love really was the strongest power of all.