Merry Christmas, Stupid
Jonesy paraded around the mall until he reached the Khaki Barn, which was all decked out for Christmas, courtesy of the Clones. The first thing he took note of, however, was his girlfriend.
"You're looking festive." She donned a reindeer headband and he put forth his best effort to suppress his laughter, but failed. Once he managed to stop laughing, he said, "First Caitlin and now you."
She retorted, "Hey! Caitlin chose to show up in antlers. I was forced."
"Chrissy wants you to spread 'holiday cheer' on the job again, eh?"
"Don't remind me." Nikki's eyes were immediately drawn to Jonesy's legs, which were clothed in the brightest stripes of red and green imaginable. "You've got nerve. Do you even see what you're wearing right now?"
He sighed. "I'm working as one of Santa's elves again and I forgot to take these pants off before I left."
It was her turn to laugh. "Pants? Jonesy, you're wearing leggings!" They were the tightest and the tackiest ever, though the former wasn't such a bad thing, chuckling at the thought.
Jonesy crossed his arms. "Watch it, Rudolph."
She mimicked him. "What are you gonna do? Gift-wrap me to death?"
He stepped closer to her. "Maybe."
Again, she did the same. "I can't take you seriously. You're the world's tallest elf."
He uncrossed his arms and stuffed his hands into his pockets. He had the perfect comeback. "I bet you'd fit right in at Santa's workshop."
"What are you implying?" Oh, she knew what he implied, but wanted to see if he had the balls to admit it.
"That you're short."
"Dammit, he admitted it." Her arms remained across her chest as she began to lose steam. "Well... You're just too tall."
His face lit up with joy. Was Nikki actually losing one of their regular rounds of taunting? "You've got nothing better to say, do you?"
She wouldn't let him get the upper hand. She had to counter him in some way, but quickly. That's when she thought of something that would make him shut up. She smirked, so sure she would win this round. "Who needs something to say when I can hold onto the memory of you being pantsed by Yummy Mummy's son?"
His cheeks flushed, but not for long when he took a second thought about her words. His grin was devilish. "Babe, I think you just earned a spot on the naughty list."
Her eyes widened and her cheeks turned a shade of pink as she backtracked on her words. "That's not what I–"
He immediately pulled some mistletoe out his pocket and held it above her head. "Ho ho ho."
Her voice sounding more pleasant, she flirted, "Oh, you sly bastard."
He shrugged before taking her into his arms. "I wouldn't be a good boyfriend on Christmas if I didn't do it."
She took him by the collar and kissed him sweetly on the lips. After breaking the kiss, she smiled.
"Merry Christmas, stupid."
A/N: Hope you enjoyed that Christmas drabble. I felt something Christmassy was appropriate since the 7teen Christmas-themed story that I wanna write is a little farther down the road. Just as a heads up, you won't see much activity from me next week because I've got midterms to take. Not sure what else I'll write this week, but thanks for reading.