AN: Just yet another one shot. I can't help it, I love me some angsty Dean.
Castiel found Dean in Bobby's salvage yard, slamming his foot into the door of an old crumbled car, over and over and over again.
"Dean, what are you doing?"
Dean spun, and Cas was slightly surprised he wasn't limping from the pounding he'd given the car.
"Cas… What are you doing here?"
"I felt you were distressed."
"Oh," Dean glanced over his shoulder at the car. "Yeah, well, I guess I kind of am."
Castiel tilted his head to the side, quizzical expression on his face. "Is Sam ok?" the angel asked, knowing Dean reacted violently if his brother wasn't in perfect condition.
Dean let out a sigh, running a hand through his short hair. "Yeah, he's fine. Bobby's fine too."
"Then what is wrong?"
The hunter was silent, jaw clenched tight. He wasn't making eye contact with Castiel, but the angel could see a tell-tale wetness in their green depths, and a miniscule waver in his full lips. Cas was so intent on noticing these tiny details he was almost surprised when Dean spoke.
"Why'd you save me Cas?" he asked, a note of desperation clinging to his words.
"From Hell?" the angel asked. Dean nodded, dropping his gaze to the ground, looking anywhere but those piercing blue eyes.
"You must help us avert the apocalypse," Cas said matter-of-factly.
"You should've left me there, it's where I deserve to be," Dean said quietly.
The angel was taken aback with this declaration. "You believe you deserve to be in Hell?"
"Don't I?" Dean answered with a small, dry laugh. He finally raised his eyes, unflinchingly meeting the hard blue gaze trained on him. "Cas, you were down there in the pit, you saw what I did to those souls. I did that for ten years Cas. I even kind of liked it after a while. There's so much blood on my hands I could drown in it."
"You think this makes you unworthy of being saved." It was a statement, not a question, but Cas waited for confirmation nonetheless.
"I deserve to rot there for a fucking eternity," Dean said, a tear slipping down his cheek.
"Dean, you are the Righteous Man. I have known you for a very short time but I already see that you have more good in you than any other human on earth. Your soul has been damaged by your time in the pit, yet it still shines brighter than any soul I have seen before," Cas said calmly, not comprehending why the elder Winchester couldn't see what he did.
Dean smiled sadly at Cas. He ran a hand through his hair again and then stomped past the angel, pausing to clap him on the shoulder. "I wish I could believe you," he said softly, before continuing his trek through the salvage yard.