He really didn't expect anyone else to be out that night. Or any night, really. It didn't make sense that any human would want to prowl around in the rather forbidding forests of western Montana at such an unreasonable hour. But then again, no human would have been able to sneak up on him like that.

Envy had been hunting. It was taking him an annoyingly long time to pick up the Elrics' trail again, and so, in the form of a mountain lion, he had taken to quietly stalking a small herd of elk. It was almost relaxing, and, while he never cleared his mind for more than a few minutes, it was decidedly nice to think of something other than mutilating Hohenheim's favored sons. He'd enjoy that later.

But something spooked the elk, and, while he wasn't aware of the cause, he knew it wasn't himself. For a moment, he was absurdly furious at Edward. If it weren't for that damned Elric, he wouldn't be off slaughtering some mangy animal; he'd be off plotting genocide – so much more fun.

"Cats don't think."

The sudden voice, its richness vastly out of place in the dark and creaking woods, startled the homunculus and he froze, as wide-eyed as a mountain lion could be, carefully flicking his ears back and forth to catch the location of his unwelcome company. But he couldn't find it.

"Really, that's rather unique. How do you do it?"

This was infuriating – even as focused and intent as he was, Envy could not locate the source of the voice, and in his agitation he shifted, taupe fur, tail, and ears receding, but the feral scowl on his face remaining as he stood up in his youthful human form.

"Come out, bastard, and I'll show you what I think!"

And then there he was. Leaning casually against a half dead pine and watching curiously. Envy would have lunged then, but something about the abnormal paleness of the teen coupled with his oddly flat, black eyes reigned in a bit of his temper. The homunculus sneered unpleasantly, tilting his head to the side, almost defiantly.

"And what are the children doing out all alone, hmm?"

The teenager shrugged absently, fluidly. "Well, hunting, of course. And you, Lion?"

Envy's sneer shifted into a smirk and he almost laughed. "Ah, hunting? I as well, though I'm not a lion of any sort."

The stranger's black eyes never left Envy's face, but displayed a hint of mild curiosity. "Well then, what are you, precisely? You're certainly not human, are you." He left the second statement as just that – a statement of fact.

Envy noticed and continued smirking. He'd get to chat with some fool for awhile, and maybe he'd kill him later – the thought was pleasant enough to make him completely forget Edward Elric. "I am Envy, that's all that's really important, don't you think? Maybe you'd like to introduce yourself, child?"

He smirked as well, shrugging nonchalantly once more. "I'm Edward." He didn't seem to notice or pay attention to the odd reaction the name got from Envy, and continued on. "You were thinking about some Edward, and it got my attention. You don't seem to like him."

As if it weren't bad enough that this idiot's name was Edward, but he had to bring up the pipsqueak as well. Envy nearly lunged, but something registered before he finished snarling. Thinking. "You read my mind? That's not very polite." He paused. "Are you a homunculus then, too?"

The term seemed to confuse Edward for a moment and he frowned. "I'm not familiar with homunculus. Are you a homunculus?"

Envy narrowed his eyes, suspicious, before nodding slowly. This brat wasn't going to live anyway. "Yes. Then, pardon my intrusion, what are you?"

There was a long pause as Edward seemed to debate answering, while watching Envy carefully with a look that, Envy assumed, dared the homunculus to act on that previous thought. He was proven correct, as, after a drawn out moment of silence, the teen smirked condescendingly. "Well, since you apparently think you're going to kill me anyway, I suppose there's no harm in telling you. Whereas you're far from human for being a homunculus, I'm far from human for being a vampire."

Envy couldn't hold back all of his laughter, and one short bark escaped his lips as he grinned widely. "Vampire, eh? Well then, I don't even have to kill you, I just have to wait until the night's over and you die." He paused and shrugged cheerfully. "But then where's the fun in that?"

Surprising Envy, Edward laughed as well. "Of course there's no fun in that, even if it worked. But, allow me a question before you kill me. Why does this other Edward bother you?" He watched carefully, but Envy said nothing in answer, merely glared venomously at the palely elegant vampire. Even though he received no verbal response, Edward nodded slowly. "Ah, I see. Well, you seem rather malicious, and I am rather hungry right now..."

Envy froze, the venom in his glare lightening a bit in mild confusion before he laughed again, this time a little breathlessly. "You? Kill me? That's laughable, really, truly laugh—" He cut off abruptly and staggered back a step – Edward was suddenly an inch from his face.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" The vampire seemed calm and composed as ever, if a bit eager with anticipation, but remained the two steps away from Envy.

Envy growled in response, low and guttural. "The idea that you could kill me is absurd. I can prove it to you, if you'd like, Edward." He spat the name out, spite for the Elric mixing with the newly kindled hatred of this stranger that dared to think he could best a homunculus.

But Edward really didn't seem to think it was quite that absurd. "What makes a homunculus special, Envy? Is a homunculus something that changes into a mountain lion? It doesn't seem that deadly to me." He paused. "Although, it seems deadly to this Edward Elric you keep thinking about. If you keep chasing him you'll kill him, so that gives me every right to kill you instead." He paused before continuing softly. "Murder isn't really murder if you kill a killer, is it?"

And once more Envy was startled by the vampire's speed, but this time he wasn't given the opportunity to step away, and before he really grasped what was happening he was thrashing his way out of the vampires steely grip. It didn't work that well.

Soon enough he was dropped to the ground, where he lay dead for a moment as Edward walked calmly away. After a gruesomely long moment frozen in death, the fake stone at his core went to work and refilled his veins and arteries, leaving him to choke out a gob of blood and spit as he staggered back to his feet. By this time Edward had noticed the miraculous revival and had stopped to stare, his eyes now a dark garnet.

Envy didn't notice, and he certainly didn't care, as he glowered at the vampire. "Bastard... Now it's my turn to kill you for that." Once the reconstructive reactions dwindled and stopped he lunged, but once more Edward had shifted too quickly for him to react, but this time, when the vampire made to kill him again, his grappling paid off and they both backed away, eyeing each other carefully.

After a moment Edward smirked. "Well now, this hasn't happened before. Generally people stay dead, you know."

Envy didn't even bother smiling at that, but instead kept his focus intently on his enemy. "Generally, people aren't stupid enough to think they can kill me."

"Well then, we're both in the same situation there. Shall we?" He arched a brow, almost condescendingly, but never lost the curious tint to his red eyes.

Envy acquiesced with a lunge, and for once was the first to start the struggle.

They lunged and feinted repeatedly for what seemed minutes, but as the forest began to lighten, Edward backed away again with a sigh. "As enjoyable as this is, we need to finish, don't you think?"

Envy didn't bother replying, but dove once more.

Edward was faster.

There was a brief struggle before the homunculus grudgingly admitted defeat, threw off his attacker, and quickly shifted into a crow before shooting into the sky. He hovered above the canopy then, cawing harshly down at the pale vampire before flapping off, pinning a second Edward onto his hit list while trying to refocus on his search for the Elrics.

When I think about it... Does Envy even NEED to eat? ... I guess in here he does D: Besides, it's AU for FMA... Edward was off in the '20s-'30s killing bad people, so that's... mildly cannon.