It was the first barbeque I had ever been to and I didn't even know the host. My friend insisted I go with so she wouldn't be alone. So, being a good friend, I agreed because everyone knows barbeques means burgers. As soon as we got there, though, she ran off; leaving me in a sea of strangers.
So, naturally, I went to find the burgers. Not long after finding them source of deliciousness and piling on the toppings of choice, I sat myself down next to fellow with huge eyebrows, who grunted me a hello.
I looked at my burger and found that something was missing, something that makes everything better. But having predicted the situation and preparing for it, I slid my hand into my bag. Wrapping my hand around the plastic, I whipped out a bag full of bacon. Drool already beginning to bubble up in anticipation, I pulled out a particularly crunchy piece of bacon and slapped it on my burger.
Reaching for another piece, I notice the brushy-browed man curling up his lip in disgust. I looked behind me and around me before looking at him directly questioning him with my expression. He pointed at my burger.
"Why on earth would you put bacon on your burger?" The man looked as if he was going puke.
I gave him a blank stare before dropping my eyebrows and squinting my eyes into a glare. I gave him the only response that I felt was appropriate in this situation. Sucking air through an invisible straw, I yelled at the top of my lungs.
"BACON MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!"